As many of you probably know, the hormone involved in breastfeeding is prolactin, whic acts on the sex hormones and cuass lower libido.
Of course exhaustion doesn't help - anyone.
Some would say that this is natures way of ensuring that the woman doesn't get pregnant again. Which doesn't explain why some women get pregnant again quickly, or why hormonal contraceptives don't cause a lower libido when a women cannot get pregnant, except ina small minority of cases. Or indeed a women can have a very high libido in the third trimester, when she is already pregnant.
Of course in other situation, medication could be perscribed to help with this but with a breatfeeding mother it is so important to be careful about interfering with hormone levels and milk supply.
I don't mean to be indelicate but I would respectfully suggest tho' that for any mother, who has not had tears or stitches and who is too sore - and I don't mean just having lubrication problems - after the 6 month point, that she seek medical advice.
bumperbee, firstly congratulations and to answer your query - I was on hormonal contraceptives for over 10 years and they never affected my sex drive, so I can't really give an opinion on that, sorry.
For me, unless I was actually sore, I have from time to time said yes, even tho I wasn't in the mood but my DH reckons if I'm not in the mood, then it's his job to get me in the mood!
I think there is difference with having a low libido - i.e. sex drive and not wanting any physical intimacy with your partner. It is the latter too, I think which can cause upsets and tensions.
Bear in mind tho that there are other ways to become intimate, sexually with your patner in a way that wil make you both feel connected and relaxed. Sorry, probably TMI.
On a final note tho' do please get your thyroid levels checked. A dip is normal post-partum but if does not resume to normal levels it can have a SERIOUS effect on libido as well as energy levels. I KNOW this for a reality.