I am so done nursing my 3 year old - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 6 Old 08-20-2008, 12:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I feel so bad about this, but I just don't enjoy nursing my 3 year old anymore(I'm also nursing a 5 month old). I feel totally touched out, and my skin just crawls when she nurses. I felt this way when I was pregnant, but it went away once the baby was born. Now it's back.

I really had planned on letting her decide when to wean, but I'm tempted to push the process along. She nurses before she naps, before she goes to sleep, and once or twice at night. I think part of the problem is that it drives me crazy how demanding she can be. She'll whine over and over again, "I want nursies," while I'm in the other room nursing my baby to sleep or when she wakes up in the morning and I've already gotten out of bed.

Any suggestions?? Has anyone else gone through this? Maybe it's just a phase for me?
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#2 of 6 Old 08-20-2008, 01:27 AM
 
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Hi there...

I'm new to the breastfeeding forum, but I feel for you. I had the exact same experience at about the same age, and I thought it was because of tandem nursing, but when my second daughter was a little over three, the same thing happened again, and I didn't have another nursling then.

With my first daughter, I read her Maggie's Weaning (from LLL) a couple of times - she loved the book. I had been worried about her reaction to the idea of weaning and thought she might hate the book, but it had quite the opposite effect. She quickly decided that, like Maggie in the book, she was big enough to be weaned, and weaned herself in about a week. It was actually much more sudden than I expected and I was taken by suprise. It was a bittersweet time.

With my second daughter, I pulled out Maggie's Weaning again, and like her older sister, she loved the book. She wasn't suddenly ready to wean, however, and it was over a few months that I gradually cut her back and weaned her. I did feel rather guilty, but I just couldn't stand it anymore, and I vaguely remembered something from La Leche League saying that breastfeeding should go on as long as mother and child desire. I definitely didn't desire it any more, and I endeavored to wean as gently as possible. It wasn't easy, and she didn't always like it, but I felt like I was able to be a better mommy when I wasn't dreading nursing her, and could enjoy our nighttime cuddles and snuggles much more when nursing wasn't involved. She did develop a habit of sucking on her blankie, which I do feel kind of badly about. I think she would still be nursing now at 4 1/2 if I had been able to keep going. I have no objection to nursing a 4 1/2 year-old, and never had set a limit for how long I would breastfeed, but this is what ended up working for me. She sleeps in her own bed now, but I rock or snuggle her to sleep every night, so I feel like that is helpful in replacing that nighttime nursing.

Now I'm looking forward to starting the process again with #3 in December, and we'll see how long this little one nurses!
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#3 of 6 Old 08-20-2008, 01:08 PM
 
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A little ray of hope if you decide to keep going. When my dd2 was 5 months nursing my older son was horrible. It has gotten better and better. dd2 is now almost a year and nursing my 3yo is much more tolerable. He is starting to relax a little with the constant hassling to "nurssssse me" (imagine a snake hiss)

There have been so many times that I wanted to just push him to wean but unfortunately he isn't ready at all.

There are times when tandeming is magical and other times I just can't take it. I try to hold on to the little moments like when I nursed them together and they held hands the entire time.

I hope you find a path that works for both of you.

Wendi
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#4 of 6 Old 08-20-2008, 06:01 PM
 
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Hugs mama and big thumbs up for nursing so long and tandem nursing too boot. It's not easy.

Would nightweaning (but keeping the day nursing sessions) help? I tandem nurse my 3yo and my 1yo and I found that nightweaning dd1 and limiting the duration/number of day sessions really helped with the touched out craziness. She wanted to nurse all the time after dd2 was born (like, 15+ times a day) and although I honored this for a while it was just to much for me. We started cutting back on nursing sessions (using distraction, etc) and I started asking her to pick a song of short story that would define how long we nursed in each session... usually an ABC song. These days dd1 knows she has "free dibs" on nursing when we wake up, before nap, before bed and she usually limits herself to just a minute (if she goes longer and I'm uncomfortable then I start singing ABC and she stops at the end of the song). She has actually started skipping some of her regular nursing sessions so she may be weaning completely... it's hard to say.

However, nightweaning was key to my staying sane while tandeming nursing (dd2 night nurses, and when she was itty bitty I felt this was a good way to make sure she was getting at least a few hours of uninterupted milk access).

Anyway, congrats on your new babe, congrats on tandeming, and good luck on finding the balance that works for your family! It can be tough, and while there are benefits to tandem nursing there are down sides too... if you're at the end of your rope, limits may help.

I hope you find your balance!

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#5 of 6 Old 08-20-2008, 08:11 PM
 
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I was able to delay with dd, "in a minute", "after dinner" etc and tolimit "until the timer goes off" but with ds2...

when I say wait a minute he SCREAMS, "Me HATE a minute!!" I am nursing him (3.5) and my one year old. I feel EXACTLY the way the OP feels. I keep hoping he will be done soon....

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#6 of 6 Old 08-25-2008, 09:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Anglyn View Post
I was able to delay with dd, "in a minute", "after dinner" etc and tolimit "until the timer goes off" but with ds2...

when I say wait a minute he SCREAMS, "Me HATE a minute!!" I am nursing him (3.5) and my one year old. I feel EXACTLY the way the OP feels. I keep hoping he will be done soon....
That made me laugh! I feel much better now. I think I just needed to vent and feel like someone else understood because, suddenly, it's not bothering me so much anymore.

Thanks everyone!!
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