Procrastination -- that is my problem... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 11 Old 08-23-2005, 06:58 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Anyone else suffer from procrastination?
I am having several mothers with small children coming over tomorrow morning and I have basically done a little bit here and a little bit there, when I really need to just dig in a pick the toys up and mop the floors, vaccuum the carpet and de-junk the kitchen counters. And remove some of the toys to the garage for the day.
Its easier to sit here and think about doing it later than actually doing it. Oh, someone please help me...
Yesterday, I cleaned off the piano, when in reality it should have been the last thing I did. I repotted a plant that could have waited.
Today, I've done a couple of loads of laundry, finished loading the dishwasher and turned it on, fed my kids, took the oldest to meet his teacher and chatted on MDC. Later this evening I will have to go to the grocery store...
Oh, why do I do this to myself?
Please tell me there are others out there who also procrastinate...
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#2 of 11 Old 08-23-2005, 09:41 PM
 
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I do this all the time(procrastinate), and to help I make a list of everything that needs to be done. As I go though I cross off each item so I can "see" the results. This helps me because I can better organize my job - doing all the things that require a cleaner together, and the same with a broom or mop.

HTH
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#3 of 11 Old 08-24-2005, 01:35 PM
 
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Definitely! We're having ds's birthday party on Saturday. The house is a total mess and I have a bunch of projects to get done for the party. I'm just overwhelmed, and it seems like too much work to get started. I know intellectually that it would be better to just get started, but instead I end up sitting here thinking about how hard it's going to be to get it all finished. I hope you're having/had a good morning with the other moms!

Lisa , mom to Isaac (9/1/03), Violet (6/19/06), Simon (10/9/09); wife to Eric ; handservant to Grace :
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#4 of 11 Old 08-24-2005, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was up til just after 2am. I got the 'living' areas cleaned up and tidy. It looks really nice -- it just never stays that way and certain doesn't pick up by itself. I'm still waiting.... Ya think I would have figured that out by now, if I don't do it, it doesn't get done.
I finshed up with a few odds and end this morning, it 3 hours.
Just no peaking behind the closed doors okay... :
Sometime I'll get to the bedrooms... I'd like to have the toilet and sink from our bathroom out of our bedroom...
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#5 of 11 Old 08-24-2005, 07:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Electra375
Just no peaking behind the closed doors okay...
Yeah, the last time we had a playdate over here, I decided to just worry about the family room and the path to get there from the front door. Hey, there's a bathroom on the way, so why would we have to go into the living room at all? I neglected to take ds into consideration. With amazing toddler accuracy, he soon decided that it was *vital* that we all play in the living room, and proudly led the way into the chaos. Great. Thanks a lot, little guy.

Lisa , mom to Isaac (9/1/03), Violet (6/19/06), Simon (10/9/09); wife to Eric ; handservant to Grace :
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#6 of 11 Old 08-24-2005, 10:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So what is it about people who procrastinate? Is there a flaw in our design? Do we enjoy rushing to get somethig done that we've had days, even weeks to do? I'd really love to be someone who just did what needed to be done when they saw it.
For instance -- it's been a long day, dinner is done, dh is watching tv, children are playing, it's time for the school child to go to bed... We just finished, I left the dishes on the table, counters and stove -- even thought the dishwasher is ready to take most of them, to have a few moments to myself. So far my break consists of itchy allergy eyes that the doc refused to give me the right eye drops for and I've just put the Patanol in.
NOW -- a poopy diaper!!!! Correction -- diahrahhia from eating a lot of grapes this morning
Then teeth brushing for 3 (which makes my stomach turn), then getting each on in bed while dh watches tv or plays a video game.
Then he wants his time and I'd like to still unwind, but the dishes are still there. The toys....
So, I leave them until tomorrow so I can relax...
Maybe tonight I won't leave them, I just cleaned last night and would like to wake up to a nice table...
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#7 of 11 Old 08-25-2005, 12:05 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Electra375
So what is it about people who procrastinate? Is there a flaw in our design? Do we enjoy rushing to get somethig done that we've had days, even weeks to do? I'd really love to be someone who just did what needed to be done when they saw it.
That would be awesome! I think the root of my procrastination is perfectionism. I have a problem with doing a "good enough" job on things. It makes it very daunting to start a job, since it turns into a big production. I've always had an issue with this. I could never start a research paper ahead of time, because I knew that I would still be tweaking and adding to it up till the last minute anyway. My subconscious seems to deal with this by not wanting to start till the last minute. That way jobs have to get done without taking over my life.

Unfortunately, it also makes me feel like I'm lazy and not a great wife/mom.

Lisa , mom to Isaac (9/1/03), Violet (6/19/06), Simon (10/9/09); wife to Eric ; handservant to Grace :
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#8 of 11 Old 08-25-2005, 01:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My mother told me after my last child that I shouldn't have any more children until I can keep up with the mess I've got now (too much stuff that causes CHAOS -- flylady acronym Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome).

My thought was yeah, right. If I thought that, I'd never have anymore children, ever; b/c there would never be a time when I could keep up with the mess I've got while I'm still young enough to have children!!!! (It wasn't like my mother kept a perfect house, we had a maid for crying out loud who did the laundry, dishes, floors, bathrooms. My mother could have taken that time she would have spent doing those things to organize her own 'stuff', but she didn't, I think she slept a lot. As in too depressed to do anything b/c of being overwhelmed by stuff.)

Anyway, it's cyclical. My dh doesn't like stuff everywhere. He would love for nothing to be on the kitchen counters (not a toaster, not a spice twirly, nothing). I noticed somthing though, my grandmother kept a toater oven, a toaster, her mixer, and her glass jars with flour etc on the counters. My great-aunt has her counters full and her pantry full (just like I do). My mother also has stuff on the counters. How can I break such a deep and long cycle that spands generations on several sides of the family???

I think my own procrastination is b/c I let things go b/c I just cleaned and then it gets worse and I feel too overwhelmed by the task at hand and just keep thinking about how to do it rather than just digging in and doing it. I get my moments though, I've been working on fixing this part of my life for about a year.

And admitting the problem is 1/2 th battle right?

I did clean up from dinner last night before I went to bed. I didn't get to the toys, but the dishwasher is full of clean dishes and the sink, stove, counters and table were cleared of any dirty mess from dinner!!! YEAH for me...

I've heard of woman filling in sticker charts just like the kids for accomplishments and it worked for them. I don't even have a sticker chart for my kids... Soon, very soon, I need to do that for them.
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#9 of 11 Old 08-25-2005, 09:38 PM
 
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So what is it about people who procrastinate? Is there a flaw in our design? Do we enjoy rushing to get somethig done that we've had days, even weeks to do?
I kinda wonder if it's just that we have so much peripheral stuff to take care of that we have a hard time prioritizing. I know my great grandmother and even my grandmother never had what we have going on in our house...ie. tv, phone usage, etc. It just seems to me that we are a much busier society and our expectations are humongous for people and ourselves.

Also I think we often think other people have it together and they really don't. Then we use that ideal to become harder on ourselves.

Just a few random thoughts...can you tell I've thought about this subject before lol!


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#10 of 11 Old 08-25-2005, 09:54 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Sherra
Also I think we often think other people have it together and they really don't. Then we use that ideal to become harder on ourselves.
This is so totally true for me. I'll be driving myself crazy trying to get the house perfect for a party or for guests, and dh will say, "But when we went to their house, didn't they have cobwebs in their bathroom/dishes on the counter/magazines piled up in the corner/unwiped drips in the refrigerator?" And I'll say, "Yes, but I wasn't focusing on those things." Somehow when it's *my* house, that's all I can see. It's like I view those things as aberrations in someone else's house, and still see the house as taken care of, but in my own house, I think anything like that immediately makes it a total mess.

And then, of course, there's my bizarre tendency to point out the flaws in my own housekeeping. I mean, we'll have people over, and I'll be going, "Oh, look, I meant to (whatever) and totally forgot!" Next minute it's, "Oh, let me just (clean whatever). Don't know how I missed it." I apparently think it's better to point these things out so I can make excuses, but when I'm more rational, I know that nobody would have noticed them without me drawing attention to them.

Lisa , mom to Isaac (9/1/03), Violet (6/19/06), Simon (10/9/09); wife to Eric ; handservant to Grace :
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#11 of 11 Old 08-27-2005, 08:38 PM
 
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I am so happy I read this. I feel so guilty for getting side tracked when I have a list a mile long of things I "need" to do or "should" do. I just feel so overwhelmed at all that needs to be done, that it's easier to collapse in front of the computer and nurse the baby than actually DO any of the stuff on my list! Hey, atleast I mothered the baby right?! lol
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