Becoming a homemaker? - Mothering Forums
The Mindful Home > Becoming a homemaker?
phathui5's Avatar phathui5 10:56 PM 12-11-2007
For those of you that you consider yourselves homemakers, tell me what you do. When I'm in a home that's comfortable, uncluttered, homey... I want mine to be that way.

I want happy, kind, curious homeschooled children. I want our family eating healthy meals together. I want a house that's clean and comfortable. I want it decorated but not looking overdone.

What I've come up with so far is staying off the computer during "work hours", 9-5 (which is why I'm posting this at 8pm).

What do you do to be a good homemaker?

crunchy_mama's Avatar crunchy_mama 11:39 PM 12-11-2007
When I am a good homemaker I stick to a schedule, although it is somewhat loose, there is a general order to the day. Meals are at predictable times. Messes are cleaned up as soon as they are made. Meals are planned for a week at a time.

I fill my home with a few items that I really like, not a bunch of cheap crap. I don't keep anything aroudn that I don't love. I have lots of nice and cozy furniture around with pillows and throws for everyone to get comfy. Different sitting areas to make the house nice and inviting. Things look nice and neat, but not perfect as I don't want people afraid to be comfy. My furniture goes together, but doesn't perfectly match, I find that to be more "homey". I like nice warm tones and natural materials.
mamallama's Avatar mamallama 02:31 AM 12-12-2007
I read the flylady book. I even signed up for her email reminders for a while.

I learned some great tips from flylady:
--I get dressed to shoes (well, flipflops) first thing every morning.
--I always unload the dishwasher right away, so there's a place to put the dirty dishes.
--I note the places clutter piles up (hotspots,) and I clean them off when we do the after dinner straightening.
--I have the kids clear off the dining room table and finish their chores before they're allowed to use the computer or watch tv in the late afternoon.
--my kids have chores, and generally, they do them without (too much) complaint.
--After the kids are in bed, I am finished with homecare for the day.

Many of the elements of the Flylady program are just not for me. I haven't let that keep me from using the parts that are useful.
AngelBee's Avatar AngelBee 05:25 PM 12-12-2007
:

I want the same things
swellmomma's Avatar swellmomma 07:10 PM 12-12-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
For those of you that you consider yourselves homemakers, tell me what you do. When I'm in a home that's comfortable, uncluttered, homey... I want mine to be that way.

I want happy, kind, curious homeschooled children. I want our family eating healthy meals together. I want a house that's clean and comfortable. I want it decorated but not looking overdone.

What I've come up with so far is staying off the computer during "work hours", 9-5 (which is why I'm posting this at 8pm).

What do you do to be a good homemaker?

I want the same things, I strive for them but it seems to be just beyond my grasp. I have promised my boyfriend when we move intogether since he will be working to support me, my kids and any kids we have together so I can continue to stay home, I would work even harder at acheiving this. Right now it's too easy to put something off until "later" The current state of my home is embarassing, though most of it is simply clutter, and kids messes that I have put aside for *later* and get sidetracked with the baby, or the kids fighting etc. I think I have to follow your advise and stay of the computer more, I am hooked to my messgae boards/email and spend way too much time on here. I do however cook decent meals more of then than not. I have flylady' book and try to follow the 15 minutes at a time mantra. I am getting there but have along way to go to have the home life I want.
phathui5's Avatar phathui5 08:32 PM 12-12-2007
Well, it's after 5pm and I'm chilling out a little bit. After a "work day" of not hanging out on MDC, my floors are clear, ds' schoolwork is mostly done, the diapers are washed, I did two loads of dishes, the table is wiped down for dinner. Less time on the computer may be the key for me.

I'm going to check out a couple books, set up a schedule and jot down a to-do list before bed for the next day. Then for the the rest of December I'm going to be offline 9-5.
sarah_bella1050's Avatar sarah_bella1050 09:56 PM 12-12-2007
In my home we have no t.v. until 8pm. Lunch and Dinner are always at the same time. School is done in the mornings (usually around 10 am). Beds get made by early in the morning. I get myself and the kids dressed every morning, minus the shoes, 'cause EW. I take a lot of pride in my home, and most of my time is spent in my home. Usually when I get extra money my first thought is to spend it on my kids or something for my home. I save for things I really want for it and love most of the furniture and things in it. Also my dh and I can not handle a messy home, we get tense and stressed by it. Also keep in mind that usually when you go to homes that are not cluttered and seem stress free it means they usually tidy up right before you get there
rachelagain's Avatar rachelagain 07:22 PM 12-13-2007
I follow Flylady.net too-- Basically you set up routines for yourself and so after you get "into" it- the house seems to clean itself, since you don't notice when you do it.
I have the meals down-- we always eat at the same time and it's 95% of the time a homecooked meal. (I do monthly menus and start dinner every day at 4pm--)
For me, it's all about schedule and routines-- my kids are on a schedule, I am, etc. It's just my personality. I have to accomplish ______ before having "my" time on the computer. Or if I have alot to do, I will work 15 min on and then 15 break-- read, sit, computer, whatever; and do that all day.
When we homeschooled- I had that scheduled too.
It's a matter of self discipline. Really.
It does help to get fully dressed and hair fixed/makeup done each morning and also get up at least 20 min before everyone else. Everything seems to flow better that way.

I don't know what you/your house is like now-- but don't expect it to change overnight. Get into some habits, and just focus on doing them each day--- if you are decluttering on top of it all- take it slow. That's why Flylady works-- because it doesn't allow you to crash and burn while your trying to learn to keep everything together.
And don't get mad if you don't get your whole list done- start each day fresh w/o dwelling on what you didn't get done yesterday.

Don't be a perfectionist. (My problem!!)
Anyway-- hope that helps.
girlmama28's Avatar girlmama28 07:52 PM 12-13-2007
I have been a homemaker for 12 years--some years have been better than others. The keys to saving my sanity, and raising healthy children have been: virtually no TV, take one task at a time, kids have chores, simplifly--the less stuff you have, the less stuff to clutter, the more peaceful you will be. No one can do it all and still be happy, choose your battles, enjoy your children, love your spouse. That will give you all you need.
ekortering's Avatar ekortering 08:53 PM 12-13-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlmama28 View Post
I have been a homemaker for 12 years--some years have been better than others. The keys to saving my sanity, and raising healthy children have been: virtually no TV, take one task at a time, kids have chores, simplifly--the less stuff you have, the less stuff to clutter, the more peaceful you will be. No one can do it all and still be happy, choose your battles, enjoy your children, love your spouse. That will give you all you need.
That is so, so, so true! And add less computer/internet time ...
MommyErin's Avatar MommyErin 10:10 PM 12-13-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by girlmama28 View Post
I have been a homemaker for 12 years--some years have been better than others. The keys to saving my sanity, and raising healthy children have been: virtually no TV, take one task at a time, kids have chores, simplifly--the less stuff you have, the less stuff to clutter, the more peaceful you will be. No one can do it all and still be happy, choose your battles, enjoy your children, love your spouse. That will give you all you need.
Wow. Well said.
phathui5's Avatar phathui5 05:26 PM 12-28-2007
OK, I've got a basic morning chores routine in place:

- Tend to laundry
- Do a load of dishes
- Straighten up living room
- Wipe out bathroom sink

That's helping a lot. Any other advice?
nascarbebe's Avatar nascarbebe 05:51 PM 12-28-2007
I've been a SAHM for 2 1/2 yrs (that's how old DS is) and I just treat it like it's my job (but more fun). I get up every morning, shower, get dressed, put on makeup and somewhat do my hair. This takes me about 15-20 min. If I don't do this part I don't feel ready for the day. After we have breakfast, change DS, yoga, I put on my apron (a MUST for every homemaker ) and my cleaning part of the day begins. In the afternoon I craft (I do this for my home and for profit) and we do errands. Later I fix dinner, clean then relax. Before going to bed we pick up so we don't wake up to such a big mess.

I used to get really stressed out about the house being such a mess but once I developed a routine it helped me be more optimistic and not get overwhelmed. I want to be a good exaple to my children and enjoy my life instead of thinking about what kind of job OTH I could/should be doing.
MommyErin's Avatar MommyErin 10:26 PM 12-28-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by nascarbebe View Post
I've been a SAHM for 2 1/2 yrs (that's how old DS is) and I just treat it like it's my job (but more fun). I get up every morning, shower, get dressed, put on makeup and somewhat do my hair. This takes me about 15-20 min. If I don't do this part I don't feel ready for the day.
It IS your job, Mama, and it sounds like you do a fantastic job!

I do work PT outside the home but only in the evenings. My days are all about being mommy. I have found that getting dressed right away and wearing jeans or the like instead of windpants or sweatpants makes a big difference in my productivity. I want to be comfortable and appropriately dressed but I don't want to be too sloppy either, or my productivity goes down the hill.

I think I need some aprons ...
tresleo's Avatar tresleo 11:24 PM 12-28-2007
I can't wear jeans - ever. And I don't wear shoes either. Maybe that's my problem.

I do better when I'm ready for the day though - showered and dressed before the kids get up. Which is hard, because the baby has radar so as soon as I get out of bed, she wakes up.
Manonash's Avatar Manonash 12:30 AM 12-29-2007
Quote:
I put on my apron (a MUST for every homemaker
I'm beginning to think this too. I just mentioned to my GM that I was going to make some or get some, and she gave several of her old ones. I LOVE them, but haven't put them on yet. I'd love to see being a homemaker as my job, but so far I just haven't done it. This should be part of my New Year's goals!

:
Satori's Avatar Satori 01:52 AM 12-29-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by phathui5 View Post
Well, it's after 5pm and I'm chilling out a little bit. After a "work day" of not hanging out on MDC, my floors are clear, ds' schoolwork is mostly done, the diapers are washed, I did two loads of dishes, the table is wiped down for dinner. Less time on the computer may be the key for me.

I'm going to check out a couple books, set up a schedule and jot down a to-do list before bed for the next day. Then for the the rest of December I'm going to be offline 9-5.
lol, I vote that MDC closes it boards every day from 9-5 I stayed off today too and got my entire kitchen cleaned and organized and half the living room done which was a lot of work. Hoping to get the other half of the living room done tomorrow. Staying off the computer is key for me as well.
llamalluv's Avatar llamalluv 02:20 AM 12-29-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by sarah_bella1050 View Post
Also keep in mind that usually when you go to homes that are not cluttered and seem stress free it means they usually tidy up right before you get there
No kidding. I recently found out from a homeschool mama at church that the last time she asked her daughter to vacuum the living room, her little girl said, "Why? Who's coming over?"


nathansmum's Avatar nathansmum 04:54 AM 12-29-2007
I love your OP and that's what I want too.

What works here is to have a relaxed morning routine that includes tidying the kitchen, laundry put on, kids and myself dressed usually all by 9am. On our home days (two mornings we go out to playcentre) we are pretty relaxed - tend to the garden, hang outside (in summer atm), come in for a morning snack around 10-10.30, maybe read some stories together or play together. Organise lunch and after tidying up from that sort out dinner (even if it's just deciding what to make - in winter I always cook the dinner early and reheat later, but summer meals are more likely cooked later on) so there is no end of day rush.

If the kids want to go out we think about that in the morning and work out the best time to do that (dd is no longer napping during the day which makes it easier for spontaneous outtings).

I try to minimise my computer time to quick "breaks" - so morning, snack times and after lunch. If I see the kids edging towards the TV coz they are looking bored or see me sitting down at the computer I suggest a craft, making playdough, baking etc - they usually only go for the TV if my butt is already camped out here! Days when I am busy doing "homemaker" type stuff they are usually really busy doing their own thing and just request help as they want it - these types of days feel the best!

We don't keep a tidy house all day, we tidy at the end of the day or if we're expecting visitors. So the house starts off tidy everyday but we don't stress about tidy up times randomly during the day unless every toy has been pulled out and it's starting to do my head in or someone is getting hurt by standing or falling on stuff.

I would love a mandatory computer off time during the day - I just find it SO hard to be disciplined about it...
aiccerb's Avatar aiccerb 06:01 AM 12-29-2007
Wow great ideas mamas...totally feeling inspired now
beansricerevolt's Avatar beansricerevolt 02:21 PM 12-29-2007
Quote:
Originally Posted by strathconamama View Post
Wow great ideas mamas...totally feeling inspired now
:
AidynElyMama's Avatar AidynElyMama 01:08 PM 01-02-2008
Subbing!
AngelBee's Avatar AngelBee 06:58 PM 01-06-2008
How is it going?
CariOfOz's Avatar CariOfOz 09:18 PM 01-06-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satori View Post
lol, I vote that MDC closes it boards every day from 9-5 I stayed off today too and got my entire kitchen cleaned and organized and half the living room done which was a lot of work. Hoping to get the other half of the living room done tomorrow. Staying off the computer is key for me as well.
LOL but WHOSE 9-5???? I'm not starting housework at midnight down here in oz

I TOTALLY agree that I have much smoother days when I get my bum off this computer though! I allow myself a while in the early morning to read email & check mdc while I have my coffee. But if I don't boot myself off after about 45mins it's all over *sigh* Today on the other hand I've done dishes, started some laundry, had a shower AND gotten dressed (and in a pretty skirt even so I feel all put together hehehe) and have a chocolate cake in the oven for when friends come over this afternooN!
mumkenna&lucas's Avatar mumkenna&lucas 04:02 AM 01-07-2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyErin View Post

I think I need some aprons ...
I want an apron now too!!
rachelagain's Avatar rachelagain 02:14 PM 01-10-2008
Thanks for the inspiration, ladies-- I needed it!!
abharrington's Avatar abharrington 02:31 AM 01-19-2008
great post mamas...lots for me to learn. one thing that works for us is Motivated Moms. she gives you a chore list that you do every day (same chores) and then a task list that changes every day. it is scheduled so some things happen once a week, month, every few months, etc. i love that i just have to do the few things on the list and by the end of the week or 2 or 4, everything is clean. i have adapeted some of the items to fit our house better. i keep the notebook out and dh crosses off what he does too.

and i totally agree that the computer time drains my day...so why do i love it so??
Rhiannon Feimorgan's Avatar Rhiannon Feimorgan 03:29 AM 01-19-2008
I've started setting a timmer for my computer time just like i do for ds. I like to go on with my cup of coffee after dh leaves for work for about an hour. Sometimes an hour can turn into 3 though. The timer helps a lot. Then if I can get all my morning chores done I can take another computer break before lunch
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