do you make everyone take thier shoes off in your house. - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:17 AM - Thread Starter
 
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we have a new white carpet and the only way to keep it clean is to make the family and all visitors put slippers on when they arrive.we all love to walk around and relax in barefeet and soft comfy slippers.friends love to come to our house because we are all so chiiled out. also i leave a slection of attractive slippers by the door. as soon as visitors see us a answer the door in slippers and see the carpet they dont have a problem. we have many friends we the same policy. i wont go to house where they only make children take of their shoes. i find that very rude. when we visit friends we never go without taking our slippers and volunteer to put them. some poeple feel uncomfortable about making visitors wear slippers so by putting them on voluntarily its prevent any embarrassment and conflict. do you all aggree with me if not why not.my canadian friends say thats its considered very rude not to takes your shoes off in the house.and that its common place to see a selection of slippers by the door for everyone to put on. why do people have such a problem with wearing slippers especially in cold weather.dont poeple like to feel relaxed in the house.try to be as honest as possible.i know this suject is very contentious.why is that. do you feel that you have the right to drag the outside world into your house.why would yoy not want to put on your slippers and chill out.iv have never had a problem with it. the family all agree.its also nice to get slippers as a surprise present.my teenage daughters adore their christmas floppy slippers at gave them. do you buy your family and friends slippers as presents. lets make this a good open and honest discussion and not feel offended if people disagree.
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#2 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:29 AM
 
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I totally agree that shoes should not be worn in my house! I feel it brings in dirt, toxins, pesticides, etc. I don't make anyone wear slippers nor did I even think of offering them, but my mom and step-dad have finally started bringing their own since they prefer to have something on.
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#3 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:32 AM
 
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yes.

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#4 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:36 AM
 
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I do. My boys play on the floor ALL day long and I really don't want *who knows what* coming into my house off people's shoes. We don't do slippers though.

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#5 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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Yes. Shoes are dirty. I don't want the dirt all over my light carpeting that my kids play on.
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#6 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:41 AM
 
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Yes. Everyone in this area automatically takes their shoes off. It would be weird to NOT take your shoes off around here.
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#7 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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Oh! And Yes, I did get slippers for people! Ikea had some super cheap slippers and I had others that I keep around to offer people. They really appreciate it, and I like making people feel comfy cozy!
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#8 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:43 AM
 
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I'm from Europe, originally. So, for me, this is the norm. Shoes do not go beyond the hallway in the front door. We have a space for lots of shoes. And, I even have slippers in all sizes for guests (if they want them). I've even put up a sign right next to the shoe rack that states this is a shoeless home, grab some slippers if you like.

But, I consider it fairly normal. I still don't understand why shoes in the house are seen as OK. I mean, I sit on the floor to do stuff. And I don't want to sit on dirt. I can't imagine letting my baby crawl around a house where people wear shoes. It's like letting them crawl on the street for me! Again, obviously, it's a difference of social/cultural norms and what we're used to. I'm sure there are some people who come to my home and think I'm bizarre for making them take off their shoes.
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#9 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:51 AM
 
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Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
Yes. Everyone in this area automatically takes their shoes off. It would be weird to NOT take your shoes off around here.
: I've never had a guest that didn't automaticly take off their shoes before coming in. I've never had to ask anyone. I always take off my shoes at other peoples houses.

If I'm at a dinner party or something where I want to dress up and the shoes are part of the outfit than I usually carry them and put them on once I'm inside so the soles are clean. People often do that at my house too. It's the way I was raised. Of corse around here there's four seasons, almost winter, winter, mud and road construction so hardly anyone will wear nice shoes outside. They would get wrecked quickly.

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#10 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 01:01 AM
 
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I mostly do, if my hubby is working in the house making a mess anyway then he leaves them on, we leave them on to carry firewood in, straight shot from the door and it gets cleaned up afterwards and my 75 yr old friend who has a leg length descrpency and wears a shoe with a lift, I never ask her to take her shoes off. Thi may be weird but sometimes I will wear my shoes in the kitchen if I feel like it, I clean the floor it so I'm okay with it.

My brother has gottone PO'd about being asked, sometimes he'll perch at the door and not really come in, and a couple times his kids have tried to do the same thing but they realize our house shoeless is a whole lot more fun than perching in the doorway

My kids take their shoes off everywhere, even in homes that don't have the no shoes rule, I don't ask them they just do it.

I went to a mama meeting held in someones home once, they had wonderful white carpet, I took one look and asked if it would be okay to leave my shoes on the portch, she said oh you don't have to do that.... I looked down at my shoes and thought, yeah right, you'd be hating me once I took once step on it, I left them on the portch (I was the only adult barefoot!)
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#11 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 01:15 AM - Thread Starter
 
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cheers guys for your comments.its nice to know that so many of you feel the same way about this contentious subject. because it the debates gone on for years and will continue to go on.i just know that im doin the best for my family. also we worked hard to buy our new carpet im im not going to see in ruined by shoes.i girls friends love to come around and just chill out.im not going to insist they wear slippers, but everyone seems to wear them where i live without asking.or perhaps i just have friends with the same lifestyle as i i have. but i do insist like many of of you the visitors respect our house rules . and i dont feel thats unreasonable do you?
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#12 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 01:28 AM
 
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I usually do not wear shoes in my house, because I'm more comfortable sock footed, same with the kids, they remove their shoes by choice. DH always wears shoes in the house, he's very self conscious of his feet. He's mortified & irritated if we go to someone's house and they ask him to take his shoes off, barring its muddy outside or something.

I remove my shoes when I go to someones house if its obviously a no-shoes house, but I would not dream of asking my guests to remove their shoes.

I once had a (Canadian) guest who walked in, removed his shoes, and then told us we should remove our shoes as well. That was extremely rude.
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#13 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:01 AM
 
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Wow... we do no shoes and I get a lot of grief about it, and I'm constantly having people try to sneak in with shoes on, I kid you not! I'm really surprised to find people that view it as normal... of course it only makes sense to me, even if you don't mind the dirt and muck I've actually read studies comparing pesticide exposure to children in homes that remove shoes versus those that don't and it makes a dramatic difference. I've also had a no shoe policy and then allowed shoes to be 'more accomodating' and it blew me away what a difference in filth it made.

There was another thread elsewhere here about this and a lot of people seemed to feel very strongly that it was rude to ask guests to take off their shoes (which is what I experience a lot of... I've even had people spend way more time than it takes to remove shoes argue with me about how clean their shoes are!). Have you seen that episode of Sex in the City where the main character was asked to remove shoes? Or how 'bout the one from Curb Your Enthusiam? That seems to be more along the lines of the general attitude I run into... I feel like a big meany always asking, but I've seen what a difference it makes and I just can't go back.... plus, after reading all those studies it just pains me to think of all that poison that would be spread through my home and into my children unnecessarily.

I'll admit, I'm really much more comfortable with shoes on and I hate the constant on and off... but my concern for having as healthy home as possible for the kids trumps that (and there are so many challenges and struggles trying to accomplish that what with lead in toys and flame retardants in just about everything and this is just such an easy and simple thing it seems like a no brainer to me).
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#14 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:12 AM
 
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I haven't run into too many problems with this, but I think it's because I intimidate people. So, they would never dare to say anything to my face. They just meekly take their shoes off, lol.

I do NOT intimidate on purpose. But, I am a recluse, an introvert, and am more of the observer than participator. Apparently, this gives me some sort of "mysterious, intimidating" vibe. Every person who gets to know me better always tells me they were afraid of me at first.

I'm not complaining. It's a useful thing when I ask people to take their shoes off. I don't think it's rude. I think it's a "my house, my rules" kind of thing.
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#15 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:23 AM
 
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I'm Canadian, and I have to admit that friends and I always laugh at TV shows that show people wearing their shoes in each other's homes. The second the floor got put into our new home was the second people stopped being allowed in with shoes.

I'm not sure if it's a respect thing as much as it is a mess thing. I don't want to have to wash my floor every single day, or multiple times a day. I have an entryway for a reason.

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#16 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:46 AM
 
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I don't care if people wear shoes in my house. we take our shoes off when we come in, but if guests don't that's fine. If I go to someone's house, I either follow their lead or ask if I need to take off shoes. I really don't like being in sock feet/bare feet at other people's homes though.
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#17 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 03:05 AM
 
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we just got new carpet, as well and baby rolls and rolls all over it. we ask our friends to remove shoes and i never thought of offering slippers! what a great idea!!
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#18 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 03:30 AM
 
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I don't make anyone do it, but up here we all do it anyway.
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#19 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 03:39 AM - Thread Starter
 
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hi suzy
with a new baby you have to be really careful about dirt and dust. also walking around in socks and bare feet isnt hygenic either. and im afraid to say i lot of poeple unintentionally do have smelly feet. so wen you consider all this its really a good idea to make either bring their own slippers with them as we do when we visit. nowadays theres slippers of all styles and also disposable ones. like hotels suppy you with. and like i said my family really like to chill out in their slippers.and its really cold at present nd theres nothing more uncomfortble than cold feet. if you dont know which slippers are the best buy try this site. we get all ours from here. its got very informative verified comments from fromits customers. its also a great site for family essentials like pyjamas and bathrobes to eventually to buy your new baby.good luck. one final word of caution is i find that its not a good idea to puts signs on your door like. please take your shoes off. this does seem to be counter productive and upsets a lot of people. talking reasonably to your visitors is much more sensitive and show you care about them. signs are impersonal
heres that link suzy.beware net shopping is addictive!
http://www.buzzillions.com/
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#20 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 10:26 AM
 
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I'll be the weird one... I don't make people take their shoes off and I often wear my own shoes around the house. I don't mind taking my shoes off at other people's houses but I don't automatically think to do it.

Unless I notice a pile of shoes by the door you would probably have to ask me to remove my shoes because I wouldn't think about it otherwise.

The only time can remember feeling a bit put out by a request to take shoes off was picking dd up from a birthday party. I was wearing jeans with tall boots over lightweight knee socks. The party was on the deck behind the house. I had to sit down, remove my boots, and walk through the house. Then the party is outside. Do I go back to the front of the house, retrieve my boots, and put them back on? Do I walk around the deck and yard in my socks? I really didn't know what to do.

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#21 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 11:42 AM
 
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I don't mind taking shoes off. The only time it was a problem was when my DD had to take her shoes off at someone's house between the ages of 17 months and about 24 months. She has gross motor delays, and she slips very easily with slippers or socks. She would fall flat on her face or hit her head, and it is very painful. She needed regular shoes for the ability to grip the floor.

When I knew I would be visiting such a house, I bought her brand new shoes, never been worn (not so much just for this visit as much as TIMED for this visit) and explained to the hostess her needs and that the shoes had never been worn. But the hostess kept offering slippers despite my explanations that she falls with slippers, so I took the hint and took off her shoes (and socks, and left her with bare feet instead of socks or slippers). Fortunately she did not fall that visit but it made me pretty upset that her needs could not be respected in the house despite my having taken steps to meet the hostess's needs too.

I did not return there again with DD.

FWIW now that DD is 28 months she is a lot less likely to slip, though she still does sometimes.

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#22 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 12:34 PM
 
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This is funny, because I always thought it was an Asian thing to take off the shoes before coming in the house. And since my parents are Asian, we always did. But my husband isn't, and he seems to have taken to the custom quite happily. We don't make guests do it, but we have a painted concrete floor, so that's fairly easy to keep clean. His parent's wanted us to keep our shoes on at their house, even though they have white carpeting, but we always seem to ditch our shoes there too. And on top of that, my aunt and some cousins have started to adopt the American way and tell us to keep our shoes on, which we also ignore. One cousin even said it was bad for my dd's feet to always be running around barefooted, and dd ditches her shoes when she gets to the park!
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#23 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 01:53 PM
 
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I ask everyone to take their shoes off. Once in a while if the person is a complete stranger or will only be here for a minute I don't say anything. It grosses me out to have shoes on in the house. I don't wear slippers, nor do I provide them though.
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#24 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:30 PM
 
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I don't make ppl take their shoes off but most do. It's pretty evident when you walk in that we don't wear shoes in the house since all the shoes sit at the door (regularly worn shoes out and others in the closet). I prefer to have house shoes as my feet get tired standing much on hard floors...and my toes are always cold. So I wear crocs in the house - since they are so comfy but I'd not be caught dead in public in them
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#25 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 02:34 PM
 
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We remove our shoes at the door, and both dc do it without being asked. However, I find it awkward asking friends to do the same, since few people in my area think to remove their shoes. Also, dh's family has made it abundantly clear that they resent being asked to remove their shoes, so it makes me hesitate to ask those I actually mind offending.

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#26 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 03:22 PM
 
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Originally Posted by laohaire View Post
When I knew I would be visiting such a house, I bought her brand new shoes, never been worn (not so much just for this visit as much as TIMED for this visit) and explained to the hostess her needs and that the shoes had never been worn. But the hostess kept offering slippers despite my explanations that she falls with slippers, so I took the hint and took off her shoes (and socks, and left her with bare feet instead of socks or slippers). Fortunately she did not fall that visit but it made me pretty upset that her needs could not be respected in the house despite my having taken steps to meet the hostess's needs too.
How insensitive of her.
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#27 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 04:03 PM
 
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I have never made anyone remove their shoes in my home. If someone wants to take their shoes off then I'm fine that. If they prefer to leave their shoes on I'm fine with that. We don't have carpet. Sometimes I wear shoes in my own house.

I will offer to remove my shoes at someone's home if it is wet out. If it is the obvious custom of the house to always remove shoes then I would most likely go along with it without being asked. No one ever offers slippers. There are times when I honestly would be more comfortable leaving my shoes on though.

The only times I have ever been made to remove shoes is at homes where the host clearly values their flooring more than their guests comfort. The attitude I've experienced is not "wouldn't you be more comfortable in slippers?" but one of "don't track your disgusting filth into my house and onto my gorgeous floor." Note- I'm not saying that this is the attitude of anyone here who prefers no shoes but rather the attitude I have personally encountered with the demand to remove shoes.

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#28 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 04:11 PM
 
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I don't know anyone who wears shoes inside, and everyone I know considers it rude to leave their shoes on in someone's house.

I think this is a regional or cultural thing. I was reading about a group for American ex pats, and one thing they talked about was that it is custom to remove your shoes here.

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#29 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 04:15 PM
 
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This is why it makes more sense to me to have a hardwood floor. White carpet is really impractical, especially for someone who has a child.

Some people can't walk around in slippers or socks because they have foot or arch problems. It is painful and can lead to more problems. Picking a pair of used slippers from a basket in someone else's house is very unsanitary, and can lead to athletes foot, toenail fungus, etc.

Many people feel uncomfortable walking around barefooted or in socks in someone else's house for various reasons that many people don't seem to be able to grasp.
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#30 of 123 Old 01-21-2008, 04:17 PM
 
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I think it's a Canadian custom because of the weather here. I mean, DF can go out to start the car and come back in and his shoes are covered in gravel, salt, snow, mud (don't ask, funky weather lately) and who knows what else. Who wants that in their house?

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