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How Messsy is Too Messy?

8K views 127 replies 66 participants last post by  Max'sMama 
#1 ·
When you go to visit someone, what level of mess are you comfortable seeing? What would cause you to think, "Okay, that's too dirty." What bothers you? What doesn't at all?

I'm assuming that no one goes to visit anyone with the intent to judge, it's not about that... but when you see a home, what causes you to feel that it's past "Comfortably Untidy?" Dishes in the sink? Dirty bathroom? Weird smell? Mantelpiece doesn't pass the white-glove dust test?


I'm asking because my house is chronically messy!!
 
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#52 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post


You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me
! Good for your DH
at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!
Wow, totally uncalled for, and to be honest it is bordering on being a UAV. Please try to be respectful even if you don't agree with something that is said/done. If cleaning or reusing acontainer that has had mold in it makes her feel physically ill, that's not an attitude, it's an uncontrollable gut reaction, likely a very real one to her. All the snark in the world won't settle her stomach.
 
#54 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by beccalou79 View Post
Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.
:

For instance, how about something like:
"Since your dh isn't bothered by that stuff, could you redistribute the chores in your family so you generate less waste?"

Really, if you're getting sick from doing a chore, it shouldn't be yours to do.
 
#55 ·
I had a friend a long time ago that would never clean anything.

One time I went over after church. Before church, her 4-5 yr old had gotten up early, taken off a poopy pull-up, and sat on the carpet to watch tv. She did not clean it up before going to church. At all. When I came over, I watched the dog lick it up.

She also had a mama cat in the basement who kept moving the newborn kittens from the warm pile of blankets onto the cold cement floor. The kittens died. She left them. For weeks.

These are just TWO of the nasty things I saw at her house. She had 4 kids at the time, and now has 5.

THAT is BEYOND disgusting to me. So I kind of use her as a rating. If your house is cleaner than hers, it's fine!
 
#56 ·
When I'm in someone else's home I don't mind clutter as long as it's not in my way. If they have a dog or cat I expect that their house will smell like it and that I will leave with pet hair on me. I don't like seeing a litterbox unless it's clean and there isn't litter on the floor. I was once at someone's house who asked me to take off my shoes and I had to walk on cat litter to use the bathroom. That was pretty icky.
I don't care if their bathroom is moldy or their sink has gross old dishes in it as long as I'm not taking a shower or doing something in that sink.
As long as I can sit in a chair, eat at the table and not have anything gross on my feet when I leave I'm ok.
There's a difference between messy and dirty. Dirty is gross, messy is life.
 
#57 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by beccalou79 View Post
Helpful hint: If you're trying to convert someone to your way of thinking, insulting them is not the way to go. Your post doesn't exactly inspire someone to hug trees, you know? You can be informative without being aggressive.
I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!
 
#58 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post


You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me
! Good for your DH
at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!
Yeah, I'm sure you really converted her with that little gem.
:

I recycle like crazy, even behind people at work. And you know what? I'm totally guilty of throwing away a nasty storage container before. It was GROSS and making me sick, and it went in the trash. If something makes you ill, you can't help that. Give her a break.

OP, I can stand a little mess (like clean laundry or toys out) but everything must be deep down clean. I can tolerate more at other people's homes as long as they dont stink .. but at mine, floors and all surfaces must be fresh and clean, smell good (I love to burn soy tarts and candles), dishes clean and put away (I have a thing about dirty dishes, even in the sink) bathroom must be sparkling clean with a fresh smell. No dust, dirty windows, etc. I'll admit, I'm a bit anal about how clean my house is.

But the one area where I fail MISERABLY? My room. I'm nuts about having fresh, clean sheets on the bed, and I do laundry daily. But I'm awful about putting it away.
You will find piles of clean laundry all over my room. I just can't keep it all put away like I should.
 
#59 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!
If it's an issue that's truly important to you then you should realize it will take more than your individual desire to make a difference. Nobody has ever changed the world (in a positive way, that is) by alienating others. You can recycle all you want, and boycott plastic water bottles all the livelong day, but your efforts will be wasted if your attitude turns others off of environmentalism altogether. To tell you the truth, the snarky way you've worded your signature line is probably making someone twist off the cap of a 20 oz. Aquafina right now, just out of spite.
 
#60 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
I'm not trying to convert her. I'm just giving my opinion on an issue that is very important to me. Someday she will know that I was right. Feel free to report me if you wish.

And reading her post did and still does make me want to throw up!
And you are totally entitled to your opinion, and to be honest the point is not whether you are right or wrong, the point is that there was no reason to be disrepectful, and that if you care about the earth and want to improve things, a little friendly teaching will go so much further than snark.
 
#61 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by beccalou79 View Post
If it's an issue that's truly important to you then you should realize it will take more than your individual desire to do so. Nobody has ever changed the world (in a positive way, that is) by alienating others. You can recycle all you want, and boycott plastic water bottles all the livelong day, but your efforts will be wasted if your attitude turns others off of environmentalism altogether. To tell you the truth, your signature line is probably making someone twist off the cap of a 20 oz. Aquafina right now, just out of spite.

Funny! I'm driving them to drink out of plastic. How pathetic that is, if it is indeed true. I won't sugar coat the truth so I don't offend someone. I'm not into fairy tales.
 
#64 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!
I do this on occasion, too.
 
#65 ·
Quote:
Wow, I would be afraid to have some of you over, ever
Me too. Unmade bed? No hand towel? OH, the horror! (lol)

It takes a lot for me to be grossed out. I don't care if your house is messy or even a little "dirty", as long as there is no human or pet waste, pet hair, mold, over-flowing trash, or funky smells I'll be fine. Bascially as long as it doesn't harm me, I really won't care how you keep your house.

I try not to judge that much, most of my friends have young children. I expect stained carpets, toys scattered, possible cookies/snacks hidden in random places (i can't have the only 14 month old who hides her snacks lol)
 
#66 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post


You might want to rethink that attitude. We are actually having a problem with global warming and way too much garbage and pollution in this world! I go way out my way everyday to do good things for the environment and people like you just don't give a s**t. People like you make me
! Good for your DH
at least someone is thinking in your household!

P.S. Reading your post makes me want to throw up!
How about I be polite and respond to you with a little dignity.

I'm well aware of the horrible state our planet is in. This is why I use all safe, biodegradeable cleaning products. This is why I do EC and cloth diapers. This is why I use reuseable menstrual products. This is why I use cloth towels instead of paper towels. This is why we buy organic. This is why we recycle. This is why we buy used things whenever possible.

I think my once weekly toilet scrubber puts me extremely low on my consumption and trash output compared to most other people.

But, really you'd reuse a container that had mold stains that wouldn't come out? (ETA: dh does the cleaning. I leave the room so I won't gag. Even if its stained he doesn't want to get rid of it though. He's the type to hold onto shirts that haven't fit him since 8th grade whereas I'd rather take them to the shelter or remake them into something else [I made a bunch of great baby lap Ts from his old shirts!]) I'd rather recycle it and let it be completely sanitized and used again. Good thing I keep my yogurt containers and glass jars so I have lots of reuseable containers and that I buy from companies that make their containers with reuse and recycling in mind.

Be careful with your assumptions and stone throwing.

I prefer to assume the best of people rather than jump to the worst possible conclusion.

I know lots of people that think cloth diapers are gross. I don't judge them, they handle what they can handle. Instead I focus my energy explaining where they can find non-toxic and biodegradeable disposable diapers. And helping them find where they can buy them in bulk to save money. That seems a lot better than calling them names or berating them so that not only is my cloth diaper message lost but so is my message of organics, reusing, recycling, and more.

We are all here on Mothering.com which is a website geared towards natural family living and attachment parenting. No one here is the perfect earth mother (you included I'm sure) but we do the best that we can and for each of us that is a different level.

Every good thing we do for our bodies and earth counts! Celebrate the good and encourage each other to do more.
 
#67 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
dh does the cleaning. I leave the room so I won't gag. Even if its stained he doesn't want to get rid of it though.
If it stayed stained after cleaning, that would ick me out and I'd totally have to have a separate place for the stained ones, but I've found that sitting out in the bright sun for a few hours does wonders. (Also good with tomato stains!)
 
#68 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
I'd still throw up. I nearly throw up using my long handled disposable toilet cleaners.

I might be able to do that but I'd have to throw it away afterwards.

Our toilets don't actually have all the time rings. We do have hard water though and they require cleaning every 4 days or so which seems excessive for other places I've lived in which the bowl got cleaned 2 twice a month while the seat got wiped down more often. I know its just the water though as we have issues with our diapers too. Perhaps I should put calgon in the bowl


I also throw away any storage containers that get moldy. It happens rarely but in the deep recesses sometimes you forget something. Into the trash it goes. Dh tries to catch it before I notice though, he doesn't like it when I throw them away. I'm sure as heck not cleaning them though!
Sounded to me like you were proud of throwing them out. You didn't even say you recycled them. Single use disposable products (like your toilet bowl cleaner)are horrible for the environment. I'm sorry but that is a fact. It makes me mad they even sell things like that. It makes me angry that people can't see the environmental damage they cause when they buy and use things like that.
 
#69 ·
I recycle like crazy, and even better, reduce my consumption. I don't use paper towels, kleenex, paper plates, plastic water bottles, plastic food storage, cleaning products etc.

But I will throw out moldy food containers in a heartbeat. Maybe once a year when some leftovers get missed in the back of the fridge.

I also use disposable toilet cleaning wands.

Nobody's perfect. I personally think that you can't reuse EVERYTHING.
 
#70 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by fioner View Post

Regarding the pink stuff around the bathtub, I don't know why that happens, but when I lived in Georgia, my bathtub always turned pink, almost immediately after cleaning it. Anywhere water pooled at all would turn pink.
: I wonder if it has something to do with something like iron in the water? My grandparents had water with a lot of iron in it, and everything turned orange/red ... not pink though.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
Funny! I'm driving them to drink out of plastic. How pathetic that is, if it is indeed true. I won't sugar coat the truth so I don't offend someone. I'm not into fairy tales.
It's entirely possible to be polite AND honest. Perhaps in a few years you'll embrace that, and your message will be accepted by more people.


Quote:

Originally Posted by ~Megan~ View Post
Every good thing we do for our bodies and earth counts! Celebrate the good and encourage each other to do more.
:
 
#71 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
Sounded to me like you were proud of throwing them out. You didn't even say you recycled them. Single use disposable products (like your toilet bowl cleaner)are horrible for the environment. I'm sorry but that is a fact. It makes me mad they even sell things like that. It makes me angry that people can't see the environmental damage they cause when they buy and use things like that.

Mind if I ask where you bought your horse? Mine seems to be on the short side and I'm sure having a higher one would make being hagish easier.

The not so lovely quailty of forum posting is the ability of others to infer/assume certain meanings. We recycle. I often say "throw it out". I say that because everyone in my house knows what I mean. I, by default, would assume the same of anyone reading a post worded like that. Sadly though, readers can assume too. You have shown brillantly how that's done. If you had read one of megan's earlier posts you would have seen her use of reuseabe items was mostly in the bathroom with the occassional tupperware toss.

Hopefully when you're ready to get off your high horse someone will have a step stool ready for an easy dismount. Otherwise I hope when you're knocked off by someone else megan's reuseable toilet brushes break your fall.

ETA: In regards to your siggy...i'm guessing you live somewhere with excellent water. Lucky you.

This post brought to you by the honest fact that you're bugging me and I'm ornry. Have a nice day.
 
#72 ·
So I didn't want to kill the thread....

I can handle most mess and dirt. I cannot handle dirty washer/dryer areas. The weird greyish gunk that builds up around them drives me crazy! Even if you don't have pets or lots of hair it seems to attract it. It's like a washers equivalent to super glue!

I also notice spots on mirrors. I can handle that if the rest of the bathroom is clean though.

Oh! And overflowing bathroom trashcans. I had a friend growing up and they were horrible about taking it out. 4 women in the house and once a month the bathrooms were atrocious since thy let the pads fill up and overflow. :puke:
 
#73 ·
I just want you all to know that this thread made me get up and clean my house. Seriously. Thanks... and CURSE YOU... hahaha!
But my house is now like 5000 times cleaner. Woot!

My brothers house is completely disgusting. It smells bad, there is tons of dust everywhere, big sticky cobwebs, etc. Even when it is neatened up, it still smells bad and just *feels* dirty. I don't even know how to explain that. I don't know; but I have a dog and a baby and my house doesn't smell!

You know I do my best to recycle, reduce, reuse... but when I can't, I can't, and I find myself pondering the landfill near my home which has recently been converted into a golf course and neighborhood. I think if things are *properly disposed*, it's more important than being perfect with recycling.
 
#74 ·
I found this thread really helpful today!

My sil was stopping by and I knew in advance. I'm 8 months pregnant and was really tired. I only scrubbed the toilet, emptied the sink, and vacuumed the floor (because she has an 8 month old). The rest I just left.
When she came in I told her, "I was too tired to clean up for you." She said she understood and she only has one child!
 
#75 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
i'm guessing you live somewhere with excellent water.
I highly recommend getting a sink filter to anyone in an area with bad-tasting water. I don't know that they're any good against contaminated water, but for flavor related problems, they make all the difference.
 
#76 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by Amylcd View Post
Me too. Unmade bed? No hand towel? OH, the horror! (lol)
Doesn't have to be a hand towel. Just something clean and dry to dry my hands off on when I use your restroom. I'm only 99.999% of the time wearing something I'm willing to dry my hands on.
But yeah, if it's a choice between something icky and nothing, choose nothing.
 
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