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How Messsy is Too Messy?

8K views 127 replies 66 participants last post by  Max'sMama 
#1 ·
When you go to visit someone, what level of mess are you comfortable seeing? What would cause you to think, "Okay, that's too dirty." What bothers you? What doesn't at all?

I'm assuming that no one goes to visit anyone with the intent to judge, it's not about that... but when you see a home, what causes you to feel that it's past "Comfortably Untidy?" Dishes in the sink? Dirty bathroom? Weird smell? Mantelpiece doesn't pass the white-glove dust test?


I'm asking because my house is chronically messy!!
 
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#77 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by sapphire_chan View Post
I highly recommend getting a sink filter to anyone in an area with bad-tasting water. I don't know that they're any good against contaminated water, but for flavor related problems, they make all the difference.
So true! We don't have the sink thing, but we use a Brita water pitcher that filters tap water. Our tap water tastes NASTY, but that thing makes all the difference, it tastes great!!
 
#78 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by OtherMother'n'Madre View Post
This post brought to you by the honest fact that you're bugging me and I'm ornry. Have a nice day.

Funny that's why I wrote my first post!


You have every right to your opinion just as I have every right to mine. As for our water quality here. I thought maybe I would try and save it for my children BEFORE it gets disgusting. Call me crazy I am in to preventative steps. It's not like pollution is a new phenonemon. Perhaps if everyone wasn't using all kinds of disposable products then water everywhere would be cleaner? It is possible to fix the problems. People just have to educate themselves. Ignorance is not bliss.
 
#79 ·
Newsflash ParisApril, the electricity you are using to spread hateful messages on the internet has futher reaching negative environmental impact than using a disposable toilet brush. How far are you willing to go to help the planet you love so much? Far enough to turn off the computer? Yeah, we all have our comfort levels


Megan's happens to be not reaching into a bowl where her whole family sh!ts, and I can respect that.

Yours happens to be that you love the environment a lot, but not enough to save electricity instead of insulting people on the internet


Anyway, this thread is enlightening. I don't mind a messy house but there is a line into gross (the dog licking the poopy pull up made me dry heave) that is too gross for me.
 
#80 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain crunchy View Post
Newsflash ParisApril, the electricity you are using to spread hateful messages on the internet has futher reaching negative environmental impact than using a disposable toilet brush. How far are you willing to go to help the planet you love so much? Far enough to turn off the computer? Yeah, we all have our comfort levels


Megan's happens to be not reaching into a bowl where her whole family sh!ts, and I can respect that.

Yours happens to be that you love the environment a lot, but not enough to save electricity instead of insulting people on the internet

I am actually using a used low energy laptop and I have made the effort to make sure my electricity comes from a renewable source.

Newsfash captain crunchy - Using a reuseable scrub brush to clean a toilet is not an unreasonable request. It uses less water, energy and non renewable resources.

Please stop encouraging me to keep writing.
I could go on forever about the environment.
 
#82 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by prettypixels View Post
I just want you all to know that this thread made me get up and clean my house. Seriously. Thanks... and CURSE YOU... hahaha!
But my house is now like 5000 times cleaner. Woot!


This is my reaction, too! I can't wait to get home and clean my house. No babies yet, but DH and I both work long hours at full-time jobs. By the time I get home on weeknights and cook dinner and clean up from dinner, I'm exhausted. On weekends I normally do all of the laundry and clean the house, but lately we've been using the weekends to work in our yard. Add a super shedding golden retriever mix to that situation, and my wood floors are embarrassingly furry. *sigh* There just aren't enough hours in the day and I'm starting to envy my neighbor who is a SAHM to one child and has a weekly cleaning lady.
 
#83 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by wednesday View Post
You can wear a rubber glove...like the kind made for cleaning that goes up to your elbow. I have a pair of those I break out when I have a yucky job to do. For the toilet (I had stains at the bottom of the bowl from when a rusty plumber's snake was used to clear a clog) I put on the glove, then used an empty yogurt cup to bail out all the water (poured it down the bathroom sink), then used the pumice stone to scrub the stain. Took off the glove when I was done and laid it out in the sun to dry.

Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SAHDS View Post
She also mentioned the 'pink gunk' she gets in her tub and sink. To this day, I'm still not sure what she was referring to. I'm actually kind of afraid.
We get this - it is from our hard water. Gross.
 
#84 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by beka1977 View Post
Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!
Hardware store? Cleaning aisle at Target? I can't really remember where mine came from. I know I have seen them mounted on a plastic stick tho so you can keep your distance even a bit more. I'm not squeamish about the toilet tho, I put on a glove and do what I need to do and wash my hands after
.

I get the pink/orange build-up in the bathroom as well, around the drain and a little bit in the tile grout. I used to think it was mineral buildup but I heard something on the radio that it's some kind of growth (bacteria? mildew? can't remember). Like, something in their air that settles wherever it's damp and then grows. I have sprayed it with diluted bleach and had it disappear, I don't think if it were mineral build-up the bleach would have that effect.

This page has a discussion about it, consensus seems to be it's a type of mold:

http://www.homediscussion.com/showthread.php?t=73583
 
#85 ·
Attitudes like that ParisApril, are so ineffective in making people rethink what they do. Someday you will learn this.

What you are basically telling people, is unless they can do everything, they should do nothing -- because what they *are* doing has so little value that they may as well do nothing... unless they live up to your standards. What a myopic world view, and one that has never been effective.
 
#86 ·
Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn!

I throw away yucky food containers too. Sorry great-grandchildren. We also have very limited recycling here (corrugated cardboard, newspaper and aluminum cans only). So even if I did wash it out (thereby wasting potable water that we desperately need to conserve here in the desert), I'd throw it away anyway. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to let it keep me up at night either.

As for the actual topic of this thread. I'm like most everyone else. Messy is no big deal, but dirty bothers me. And this thread has inspired me to sweep and mop my floors, LOL!

I have an amusing story about unexpected visitors and extremely messy houses. This was a couple years ago, DS1 had just turned two and DS2 was a newborn. The piece of @$%! washing machine that we had at the time had broken down yet again in the middle of the wash cycle. I was trying to fix it with ds2 in a wrap on my back. In the meantime, ds1 had poured an entire box of Cheerios on the floor and scattered them through the kitchen and living room. There were toys everywhere. The dirty dishes from dinner the night before were still in the sink.

I'm swearing at the washing machine, frustrated to the hilt, with a screwdriver in one hand, a wrench in the other and a baby on my back when I hear a polite tap-tap at the back door. I look up to see my MIL standing there. I'm sure the look on my face was priceless. Turned out she needed to use the bathroom. It was the one and only time she arrived unannounced. She politely and noncholantly tip-toed around the Cheerios and somehow dodged the toys. To her credit, she didn't say a word and probably would have stayed and helped me clean up if she hadn't been in a hurry.

In the moment I was so frustrated by the washing machine that I didn't have it in me to be too bothered. I was pretty mortified later though! My only consolation was that at least the bathroom was clean!
 
#87 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by captain crunchy View Post
Attitudes like that ParisApril, are so ineffective in making people rethink what they do. Someday you will learn this.

What you are basically telling people, is unless they can do everything, they should do nothing -- because what they *are* doing has so little value that they may as well do nothing... unless they live up to your standards. What a myopic world view, and one that has never been effective.

I believe quite the contrary. I never said all or nothing. I've only said admit that you could be doing more.
 
#89 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by anniegirl View Post
Well this thread certainly took an interesting turn!

I throw away yucky food containers too. Sorry great-grandchildren. We also have very limited recycling here (corrugated cardboard, newspaper and aluminum cans only). So even if I did wash it out (thereby wasting potable water that we desperately need to conserve here in the desert), I'd throw it away anyway. I'm not proud of it, but I'm not going to let it keep me up at night either.
This I'm afraid is where we are very different. I DO stay awake at night and worry about the future of my kids and grandchildren. Late night thinking has given me many great ideas. I try and use my energy in my real life to make positive changes to my community and country. Don't you think you could be doing something about the fact that your area doesn't recycle instead of just acceping it as fact?
:
 
#91 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by beka1977 View Post
Where do I get a pumice stone like this? Is it made especially for cleaning toilets? Does it ruin the finish? I would think it would make the pumiced areas all scratchy?!?!
You can get them anywhere - home stores, grocery stores. Just make sure you don't get the beauty type, they're coated.

It doesn't ruin the finish, no. At our old house, it would leave what looked to be scratches but they'd go away quickly. You don't need to grind it


Thankfully, the new house doesn't have this problem.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Aliviasmom
I had a friend a long time ago that would never clean anything.

One time I went over after church. Before church, her 4-5 yr old had gotten up early, taken off a poopy pull-up, and sat on the carpet to watch tv. She did not clean it up before going to church. At all. When I came over, I watched the dog lick it up.

She also had a mama cat in the basement who kept moving the newborn kittens from the warm pile of blankets onto the cold cement floor. The kittens died. She left them. For weeks.

These are just TWO of the nasty things I saw at her house. She had 4 kids at the time, and now has 5.
Oh my GOODNESS. That actually made the vomit rise in my throat a bit. Talk about disgusting and unsanitary. I feel so bad for her children - YIKES.

I'm sure DH (who is a cop) could write pages and pages about the disgusting houses he's been to *shudders*
 
#92 ·
Well, it's obvious that some people here have very charged emotions, but really this thread is about being messy not wasteful.

Anniegirl, your thread had me really laughing (I hope you don't mind), that sounds like something that would happen to me. Terrible timing. Oh man, I'm glad she was so gracious about it!


I too have heard that pink stuff is a precurser to mildew. It seems to really like caulking. If I'm not careful we get it sometimes too.

It sounds like the lady with the poop on the floor and the dead kittens had other issues going on. Most likely something emotional. I wouldn't judge to harshly, though I hope she found some help and is doing much better now. I too feel for her kids. That must have been hard on them.
 
#93 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by anniegirl View Post
In the moment I was so frustrated by the washing machine that I didn't have it in me to be too bothered. I was pretty mortified later though! My only consolation was that at least the bathroom was clean!

See, the clean bathroom makes it all better in my book. It implies all the other mess is new mess.


And, yeah, thinking of this thread made me clean the bathroom.
 
#94 ·
I'm glad it made you laugh! That's why I posted it! I'll have to remind my MIL about it next time I see her, so we can laugh about it too.

I have another unexpected visitors/messy house story. This one's not so funny though. I had forgotten about until just now and it hacked me off remembering it!

This one happened shortly after the first story. Ds2 was 3 months. My FIL had just passed away. My dh and his siblings has to move all his stuff out his apartment right away to avoid having to pay another month's rent on his apartment (FIL was broke). Since dh was the only of his siblings living in a house all his belongings that needed to be sorted through ended up at our house (FIL and MIL were divorced). It was mess.

A couple that were friends of FIL showed up unannounced (to be fair, I think they had called dh first, but he forgot to tell me). This is a wealthy couple, with an immaculate house. The husband is laid back, the wife is very well groomed, perfect hair, designer clothing etc. She reminds of Blythe Danner.

So anyway, they stop by. I'm still in my pajamas, bouncing ds2 on the exercise ball. I apologize for the mess and before I even got the chance to explain that all the boxes, stacks of artwork, and piles of junk laying around belonged to FIL she gave this snotty little sniff and said "Well, it looks lived in I suppose." She wouldn't even sit down, looking around as though she would catch something. She never even offered her condolences. Classy lady, eh?

Which reminds of a story about those disposable toilet cleaners. I cleaned FIL's bathroom after he passed. It was by far the dirtiest bathroom I've seen in my life. Before that day, I thought those disposable sponge things were a ridiculous waste. I was praising the gods for them that day though.
 
#95 ·
How Messy is Too Messy?

Things I can't stand are:

-Bad odor, esp. pet odor
-Pet mess on the floor
-Dirty (I mean REALLY dirty, not just kinda stained) toilets
-Overflowing trash cans
-Dirty dishes stacked all over countertops (not resting nicely in the sink or 1 dish on the counter, I mean lots of them)
-Food bits left out all over the kitchen
-Really sticky floors
-If I am staying for a meal, having the table with gunk on it

I'd prefer for the house to not look like a tornado hit it as far as clutter, but that doesn't really bother me like the other things.
 
#96 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by ParisApril View Post
This I'm afraid is where we are very different. I DO stay awake at night and worry about the future of my kids and grandchildren. Late night thinking has given me many great ideas. I try and use my energy in my real life to make positive changes to my community and country. Don't you think you could be doing something about the fact that your area doesn't recycle instead of just acceping it as fact?
:
ParisApril, why not take a step back from this and, instead of reacting combatively to people, reply in the spirit of MDC - with friendship and empathy. How do you know she's NOT doing something about the recycling options where she lives? Just b/c she said she wasn't losing sleep about about it doesn't mean that she's not taking action in some way. I don't lose sleep about a lot of things I work hard on all day long.

Peace.
 
#97 ·
I love this thread. It also made me wash all the dishes (well, there weren't many, I wash dishes 2-3 times a day) and go upstairs and scrub the sink and tub. Our house is pretty clean though so I feel safe with drop-in visitors (not that we ever get any!)

As for what makes me uncomfortable... definitely lots of dust bunnies, animal hair, dirty bathrooms, dirty floors. I have a high tolerance, though, as long as I'm not staying there to eat or for more than an hour or two.

I used to throw out moldy containers a few years ago. I probably only did it 4 or 5 times but my husband really hated that. Now I never do because the fridge is always clean and we almost never have leftovers. We used the fridge primarily to store tons of fresh produce. So that kind of solves the moldy container dilemma for us! I totally get the need to throw them away, especially if they are cheap plastic.
 
#98 ·
anniegirl Your post about your MIL's unannounced visit made me giggle out loud. We keep a rather tidy house (we don't have any kids yet though), but it seems like anytime someone drops by unannounced it's when the house isn't quite as tidy as usual.

Like where you live the plastic food containers aren't recycled (yet) where I live. We can recycle 1s and 2s only of the plastics. I hope that changes soon for both of us.
 
#99 ·
This post is getting me motivated to scrub bathrooms! I'm guessing my house would be gross to many of you since we probably have pet odor...I can't tell...and definitely have dog hair.

Like pp's a few things really gross me out…soggy hand towels, dirty bathrooms, yucky floors. This doesn't mean I never have those things in my house!

Prior to having the children our house was spotless - obsessively so. We never thought it was clean enough and would actually apologize about the state of the house - which I now see was ridiculous.

We've come full circle. I think if I can't keep it perfect I get overwhelmed and give up. I don't sit down all day and occasionally get things clean and in order…but the next day everything can be chaos again. I can vacuum and clean tile or wood and after one meal or two shedding dogs walk through I'm stepping on grime again!

Years ago a co-worker told me she would flip her milk cap on the floor when the carton was empty so her cat could lick the lid. I looked at her appalled! Now that I have children I think of her often when I see all the crud that ends up on my floor.
 
#101 ·
Quote:

Originally Posted by 3*is*magic View Post
ParisApril, why not take a step back from this and, instead of reacting combatively to people, reply in the spirit of MDC - with friendship and empathy. How do you know she's NOT doing something about the recycling options where she lives? Just b/c she said she wasn't losing sleep about about it doesn't mean that she's not taking action in some way. I don't lose sleep about a lot of things I work hard on all day long.

Peace.
I hope you are right. Sometimes I wonder if everyone worried just a little bit more and did just that little bit more. What kind of world would it be then? If we just don't ever stop improving. It's exciting to think about, you know?
 
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