Adopt-A-Child Program through work - Wow! Expensive Gifts! - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 99 Old 11-27-2008, 01:12 AM
 
grniys's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: SoCal
Posts: 1,798
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by avengingophelia View Post
So, if these were smaller kids and they were asking for play kitchens and art stands that cost as much as those iPods do, would this be a different conversation?

I think it would be.
Nope. My perspective would stay the same. Get the gifts but they don't have to be the top of the line, name brand ones.

Play kitchen, $45 at walmart.

Art stand, what, $20 at Ikea?

SAHM to Ninja Boy (6) surf.gif and Monkey Man (4) carrot.gif.

grniys is offline  
#92 of 99 Old 11-27-2008, 01:44 AM
Banned
 
Ziggysmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: down in the underground
Posts: 1,106
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think some of you may be missing the point. The act itself of giving isn't about what you give or who you give it to. Its about giving, with no strings attached to a fellow human, to make them feel good and to also make yourself feel good.

I think debating the worthiness of the receiver or what-you-buy-yourself-and-your-kids-for-christmas is besides the point and somewhat denigrates the act of giving itself.

Just give and feel your heart fill with the joy it is to be able to be in the position to give back to your brothers and sisters.
Ziggysmama is offline  
#93 of 99 Old 11-27-2008, 01:54 AM
 
Tradd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ziggysmama View Post
I think some of you may be missing the point. The act itself of giving isn't about what you give or who you give it to. Its about giving, with no strings attached to a fellow human, to make them feel good and to also make yourself feel good.

I think debating the worthiness of the receiver or what-you-buy-yourself-and-your-kids-for-christmas is besides the point and somewhat denigrates the act of giving itself.

Just give and feel your heart fill with the joy it is to be able to be in the position to give back to your brothers and sisters.
Being financially responsible in these times is NOT missing the point. The OP might have the cash to buy what those kids had on their list, but many of us do NOT. If I'm not spending $150 on my goddaughter, it's not only that I can't see spending that kind of money, but also because it would be an irresponsible use of my financial resources. In other words, stupid spending.

Shutting off your brain and spending more than you can afford just because it's a kid in foster care? No way. Saying, "The kid wants something that costs $150, but I can only afford $25. So I spend $25" is the responsible thing to do. Putting yourself in a bad spot financially for charity is a bad idea all around. Are you trying to "guilt trip" people - you can't/won't spend that much on your own kids, but you have to do it because it's a kid in foster care?

lady.gif
Tradd is offline  
#94 of 99 Old 11-27-2008, 02:37 AM
Banned
 
Ziggysmama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: down in the underground
Posts: 1,106
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
Being financially responsible in these times is NOT missing the point. The OP might have the cash to buy what those kids had on their list, but many of us do NOT. If I'm not spending $150 on my goddaughter, it's not only that I can't see spending that kind of money, but also because it would be an irresponsible use of my financial resources. In other words, stupid spending.

Shutting off your brain and spending more than you can afford just because it's a kid in foster care? No way. Saying, "The kid wants something that costs $150, but I can only afford $25. So I spend $25" is the responsible thing to do. Putting yourself in a bad spot financially for charity is a bad idea all around. Are you trying to "guilt trip" people - you can't/won't spend that much on your own kids, but you have to do it because it's a kid in foster care?
Huh? What? Um no. All I am saying is not matter how much you are giving or what you are giving, just give, from your heart, and don't get wrapped up in too much overthinking.
I am not saying anyone should give more than they can. All I am saying is if you want to give, give, freely and without strings attached or pre-concieved notions of what 'charity' should and shouldn't be.
I personally can not spend $400 dollars in one pop this year for giving. But I am going to give what I can, to the things that present themselves to me. And I will continue giving where I can throughout the year when they universe gives me the opportunity. Whether it be for disease research or the homeless guy on the corner or a kid who wants *something* for christmas.
Ziggysmama is offline  
#95 of 99 Old 11-27-2008, 10:32 AM
 
shayinme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: land of lobster and lighthouses
Posts: 5,272
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by mrscompgeek View Post
Just wanted to share my experience with this. When I was still at home, before I was married my family "adopted a family" for christmas through our Church program. They had a bunch of items on there list and we ended up spending about $100 or more on each child. (I think there was 4 kids.) No big deal . . .
Well then when we called the family to ask directions on how to get to there house to drop off the gifts and the mom was very rude, acted like we were intruding. Then when we got to her house that evening to drop them off we walked in the house and there was 3 christmas trees (in different areas of the house) and under EVERY tree was a pile of gifts. . . . : Yeah. So Im not sure how they got into a needy family program but it was sad. We felt so aweful that here these people were NOT needy and we could have been helping someone who really needed it instead of this. So because of that we havent done that since then, guess it was a bad taste in our mouth.
Yes, that sort of thimg happens but at least in my community we are making sure that is less likely to happen by havinh all the agencies that give help working together with a master list.

Honestly, I wouldn't say they weren't needy, living on the edge makes people make unwise decisions. My guess is this family went to a bunch of different programs to get help because in many cases a program may only give a few items. I am not condoning it because it takes from others but I think the tendency to hoard when you aren't used to having doesn't seem that far fetched to me.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
shayinme is offline  
#96 of 99 Old 11-28-2008, 03:11 AM
 
MrsJez's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Midwest
Posts: 126
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Give and give freely. I challenge you to go above and beyond what these kids have asked for. Part of Christmas is giving. So do it and do it well. And with a joyful heart.

Aly - wife to Mike Step-mommy and mommy to 4 wonderful kiddos! 11, 10, 4 and 1
MrsJez is offline  
#97 of 99 Old 11-28-2008, 08:27 PM
 
pbob's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 5
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think it is commendable that your family has such charitable hearts. Of course the kids on the list want electronics. I have a teen, and yep, she wants electronics. I agree w/ other posters in that ipod is used generically for MP3 player.

Some good deals can be found thru Sat if you have a CVS Pharmacy nearby. Kodak EasyShare cameras are $89.99 get $20 toward next purchase. Craig 2G MP3 player is $24.99 get $5 toward next purchase. Luxury Spa gift set $9.99 get $3 toward next purchase (add a gift card for a facial, manicure, etc). Most are limit one per card but if you take a friend with you, he/she can make the same purchases
pbob is offline  
#98 of 99 Old 11-28-2008, 10:34 PM
 
Purple*Lotus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Location: Fluffyville
Posts: 5,680
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a couple of suggestions that I did not see yet on this thread.

One is your local domestic violence shelter. I managed one for a long time and we tried to give gifts to all of the children who had received help over the previous year. That was a lot of kids and we never had enough people provide enough gifts, especially for the older kids- teenagers mostly. At my shelter we had a list the kids filled out or their parent if they were too young. The kids in no way expected you to get everything on their list, if that makes anyone feel better. Like, one kid last year put down an IPOD but was thrilled with a standard MP3 player. The only downside to getting everything on their list- and some people did- was that the parent would often feel bad because they knew that next year there was no way they could possibly live up to that previous Christmas. Even if we provided gifts for them the following year we could not really ensure the next person would get everything. For the older kids it was not such an issue, but for younger kids who believed in Santa, it was sometimes confusing when Santa spoiled them one year and the next not so much. We toyed with the set up a few times but there was really not a way to make it all perfectly even. Which was frustrating. But I will attest to the fact that you will light up a child's world at Christmas, and that is awesome.

Another suggestion is calling a guidence counselor at a local school, which is what my Mom's work does. The school they went with this year has a very organized system where you buy one of each thing on this list. For example, the girl my Mom got this year had the following:
pants/jeans
sweater/sweatshirt
socks
baby doll

And she bought one of each item. On epair of jeans, one sweater and one pack of socks, plus a baby doll. I will tell you that it was frustrating for us to not get more, because that is the instinct, but the school was very careful and specific about it. Also we had to remove any tags and black out barcodes because I guess a lot of the parents would return the items their kids got to use the money elsewhere

So anyway, those are my thoughts.

Also I wanted to add that I have a Zen MP3 player that was $50. I love it, it allows me to pick the songs I want to hear or to shuffle. I can also random play it, play a certain artist or album. It also holds pictures and video. I got it 6 months ago so I am sure the price is probably even lower now.

Happy giving

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
Purple*Lotus is offline  
#99 of 99 Old 11-29-2008, 03:23 AM
 
hanno's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Lansing, MI
Posts: 4,446
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was a foster kid and I really don't think my foster parent's or social worker would have let that list fly. Nor do I think that would be in my (or any kid's) best interest.
hanno is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off