Watch Us Commit Financial Suicide... - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
 
Thread Tools
Old 12-31-2008, 04:46 PM
 
shayinme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: land of lobster and lighthouses
Posts: 5,089
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have been in a similiar situation with family where plans were made, money was spent and we backed out at the last minute for reasons similiar to yours. If I could do it all over again, I would have gone because the rift it created was really bad, and 4 years later its still an issue. Initially when I read your post I was going to say just don't go. On the other hand based off your additional post, I agree with the poster who stated you just kinda need to do it, see where you can reduce costs and try to enjoy yourself.

Its easy to say just talk to them, but I can see a situation where years down the road you backing out would create drama. Sorry you are in this situation.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
shayinme is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
Old 12-31-2008, 05:26 PM
 
honeybunmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,750
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Well, I haven't read all of the posts and I was kinda in your position last year. I was at my mom's for Christmas just in time to see the photo album (professionally done book) my SIL put together to commemorate the first annual family vacation that we missed. I just could not bring myself to do it. And our lodging was being paid for. It just did not fit into our budget and I declined our family attending. And, we're still loved! We may be talked about behind our backs, but, I don't care. They're not paying our bills and I know from my brother that they're barely paying their own. SIL's entire side of the family lives in CA and the vacation was there and we were having to fly from Chicago. Fares were ridiculous and we're in a rehab. My mom is retired and flush with cash, so, it was no problem for her.

And yes, they rented 2 condos in anticipation of our coming. Well, that wasn't my idea, so, I didn't feel horrible saying no. Thanks for trying to include me and my family, but, we're not in the financial position to attend.

Since I've already said no, I can whole heartedly recommend saying no, that you're not going.

ETA: I just went back and read your update - are you my twin? My dh is a SAHD, my bonus is paid like clockwork, but I think *he* rather than his family thinks I'm his mealticket (subject for another post). It is a hard situation since his family has already paid for this vacation. In my case, it was my family and I long ago got comfortable with doing what was right for me even though they may disagree with it. Not going will surely make an already bad situation worse. If you think that in the long run, it will not damage the grandparent/grandchild relationship, I'd still advocate backing out. Not pretty, but totally practical. In doing so, I would reques that dh take the lead in explaining this to his parents. The reality is they have a completely different financial view than you do. I totally get this as I, too, am fiscally conservative. The sad thing is that knowing how it is to be that way, you won't totally enjoy the vacation yourself. If, however, you can see how much it would mean to your kiddos and dh, that might give you some emotional satisfaction that will take the sting out of the financial hit you're taking. I didn't catch how old your kids are, but, if they wouldn't remember the trip at this point, that'd be another reason to not go in my book.

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
honeybunmom is offline  
Old 12-31-2008, 06:38 PM
 
angelcollector1's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 437
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by transformed View Post
Dont know the ages but one more idea:

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2068

That is about an hour from Orlando. Maybe less from the Disney area.

This is closed for the winter.
angelcollector1 is offline  
Old 12-31-2008, 07:01 PM
 
EviesMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Earth.
Posts: 3,466
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by honeybunmom View Post
Well, I haven't read all of the posts and I was kinda in your position last year. I was at my mom's for Christmas just in time to see the photo album (professionally done book) my SIL put together to commemorate the first annual family vacation that we missed. I just could not bring myself to do it. And our lodging was being paid for. It just did not fit into our budget and I declined our family attending.

Yes, but it sounds like you said no when it was initially proposed and before they booked anything? Or maybe I'm reading you wrong and they booked things without clearing them with you first? In either of those situations, your response is totally reasonable and great. I think the OP is a different situation.
If you (general you) say yes when it is booked, then just weeks before the event you can't responsibly and politely decide not to go.

Happy with my DH, 2 kids, dog, fish, and frogs
EviesMom is offline  
Old 12-31-2008, 07:10 PM
 
amynbebes's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 403
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Imo, Sea World is definitely a one day kind of park. Maybe 1 day tickets rather than week passes would help a bit.

Amy - mom to Anna-Rebekah 14, Logan 13, Christian 8, Ethan 7 and Adan 07/15/08
amynbebes is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 01:59 PM
 
mammastar2's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Posts: 2,690
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Given the situation with the in-laws and the fact that they've already gone to this expense using their timeshare for the holiday, I'd go, but consider it a learning experience.

Maybe give the Seaworld thing a miss and focus on free activities. Your kids are really young, and they may be crazy about animals, but if there's a free/cheap zoo or petting zoo, some parks, and hanging out with the grandparents, that feels like a vacation when you're 3 and 1 respectively. Heck, my kid still talks about having come across a cat to pat while we were out walking on our last vacation! And you said there's swimming at the timeshare, right?

The food budget probably isn't toooo far off what you would budget at home, is it?

And perhaps check out renting a van, as you mentioned.

As vacations go, that's pretty darn thrifty, and your finances sound like they will sort out in not too long. Closer to the wire than you (or I) would be comfortable with, but you live, you learn.
mammastar2 is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 07:28 PM
 
traceface's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: into the woods
Posts: 1,303
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Another who has changed her mind based on your 2nd post, and thinks you should go.

I think you should look into driving though, that would limit expenses the most. You and your husband would just have to wear yourselves out keeping your kids entertained - but you could each rest in turns, when you finally get there.
traceface is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
Belleweather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The Heart of the Heartland
Posts: 3,197
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ugh. Now the whole thing is completely up in the air and we are --><-- THIS CLOSE to considering divorce/separation over it. Anything having to do with my ILs seems to drive us right to the brink, but I think I may have been pushed over this time.

(Big old rant ahead, feel free to skip)

So, we were down to $50 before my paycheck, which doesn't come in until 1/9. I did a bunch of math, and figuring that we only paid essential bills (ie. rent, food, utilities, car and gas) that we could come up with the bare minimum in order to pull together this trip.

Then this afternoon we come home from New Year's Eve to discover that our phone and internet have been cut off. DH is responsible for managing the finances, and holds the only access to online banking (despite numerous attempts on our part and our bank's part to get me signed up to access our accounts online we haven't managed it) He swears blue in the face that he mailed the check earlier in the month and signed us up for auto-billing. But he never checked to assure that the check cleared, and didn't monitor to make sure auto-billing was happening.

So. We have no internet, which I am 100% REQUIRED to have for work. We need to come up with at least $150 + $17 for a reconnect fee, plus possibly a deposit to get it turned back on again. Not having internet could cause me to lose my job, and I'm the only one working. DH's response is "Well, I don't see how we're going to pay that, so no phone or internet until Thursday." My response to his response is "You will get me the damned money. Sell plasma or give blowjobs, but you will get the internet turned back on." His response to that was to wake up the baby to use as a human shield and pitch a fit about how we're not going on vacation -- which he was going to inform his parents of by e-mail (we're presently borrowing a neighbor's wireless) -- and ignore the phone bill issue entirely.

(As an aside: DH has horrific Adult ADHD. His meds haven't been working on full thrusters for probably about a year, but it's been an unbelievable nightmare getting him to a shrink to get them monitored and adjusted. So, while I'm still about ready to tell him to get the heck out, I'm trying to forbear hoping that things will be better once he sees a shrink in February. The fact that our house is a complete dump, the toilet is plugged and nearly overflowed on my feet and he took the kids overnight to my mothers with no diapers is really making me feel like I'm at my absolute wits end with my marriage right now, though. I could really use some hugs and support)

If there is a deposit on the internet, we can't afford the vacation -- flat, balls-out cannot afford it and do not have the cash to pay for it. Even if there ISN'T, we still have December bills that need to be paid in Janurary, which throws my calculations off and probably means we can't afford it. Moreover, at this point I have ZERO trust in DH's money management and feel like we can't go because we'd be down to the wire financially and I'm scared there may be more lurking alligators like this out there, you know?

I'm heartsick at having to let down my little boy, who is excited to go on the airplane and meet whales and see grandma and grampa. I'm heartsick and demoralized myself because I have been working my ass off for months, and have been looking forward to a well-deserved vacation AND I feel awful and like a failure that I can't provide this for my family because I earn the sort of income where these things shouldn't be an issue. I feel like I've failed them.

I'm really not looking forward to the fall-out with the inlaws, but as far as I'm concerned this is DH's responsibility to handle with them and I'm just not going to get involved. I've leveraged my (emotional and financial) resources to pull his ass out of the fire before and I'm not doing it again.

*

This is all posted in a hurry and in the heat of the moment, so I do reserve the right to change my outlook once I've calmed down a bit, FYI. I just had to talk to someone, and obviously phoning a friend is right out.

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
Belleweather is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 08:38 PM
mtm
 
mtm's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 1,467
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh Belleweather, I'm sorry you are so stressed.
mtm is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 08:54 PM
 
shelbean91's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Mesa, AZ
Posts: 9,290
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, that sucks. Anyway the ILs can loan the $ until later?

Michelle -mom to Katlyn 4/00 , Jake 3/02, and Seth 5/04
shelbean91 is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:08 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I don't understand not having access to those bills; why can't you just use his username and password to login ?

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:13 PM
 
~Boudicca~'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: New England
Posts: 3,557
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Holy crap mama. I'm so sorry you are going through this right now. That sucks.

~Boudicca~ is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:16 PM
 
KayTeeJay's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Central IL
Posts: 174
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
I don't understand not having access to those bills; why can't you just use his username and password to login and take care of it?
I was thinking the same thing. I know everyone does things differently, but we keep a sheet of legal paper in the desk with all the logins and passwords to every bill, account, etc... we have online access for. I manage the bills and money, but if DH ever wanted to poke around on there, he can knock himself out. Anyway, maybe that's a problem for another day.

I'm sorry you're so stressed out!! I hope things get better for you soon.

K + J = DS Evan 1/26/09 and happily welcoming DS Colin, our 9lb 5oz vbac.gif New Year's Day baby, 1/1/11!
KayTeeJay is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:16 PM
 
Maeve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2004
Posts: 4,156
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
I don't understand not having access to those bills; why can't you just use his username and password to login and take care of it?

Yeah, that part confused me also. I handle all the banking, but all we need is a password/username to login and see/pay everything.


I'm really sorry you are going through this right now. Your inlaws just need to understand that things happen and it's just not possible for you to go right now.
Maeve is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:24 PM
 
HarperRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 10,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by amynbebes View Post
Imo, Sea World is definitely a one day kind of park. Maybe 1 day tickets rather than week passes would help a bit.
Agreed. I live 15 min from one of the sea Worlds and you can TOTALLY spend one day looking at the animals and doing any rides and catching shows and be DONE. I went w/ a 6 wk old and 6 and 7 yr olds and things went fine.

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

HarperRose is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:27 PM
A&A
 
A&A's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 16,186
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 8 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
I don't understand not having access to those bills; why can't you just use his username and password to login ?
:

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
A&A is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:30 PM
 
HarperRose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: In my own little world
Posts: 10,475
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just read your update on the bills and stuff. I'm so sorry.



Don't go. Il's and dh can go sit on a tack! You need to have internet for your job. If dh can't see that then he has bigger problems than just no vacation.

Plan a vacation for you guys in a couple months.

 upsidedown.gif  Please see my Community Profile! energy.gif blogging.jpg about Asperger's Syndrome!

HarperRose is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:35 PM
 
Crunchy*VT*Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Home of the Screaming Pennies
Posts: 2,961
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

 

 

Crunchy*VT*Mom is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 09:39 PM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by KayTeeJay View Post
I was thinking the same thing. I know everyone does things differently, but we keep a sheet of legal paper in the desk with all the logins and passwords to every bill, account, etc... we have online access for. I manage the bills and money, but if DH ever wanted to poke around on there, he can knock himself out. Anyway, maybe that's a problem for another day.

I'm sorry you're so stressed out!! I hope things get better for you soon.
Yeah, I make sure dh has access to the usernames/passwords for the bills, but he just puts stuff on my desk to pay so as not to mess with my system.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 10:59 PM
 
lil_earthmomma's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 2,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Belleweather View Post
I'm heartsick at having to let down my little boy, who is excited to go on the airplane and meet whales and see grandma and grampa. I'm heartsick and demoralized myself because I have been working my ass off for months, and have been looking forward to a well-deserved vacation AND I feel awful and like a failure that I can't provide this for my family because I earn the sort of income where these things shouldn't be an issue. I feel like I've failed them.

I'm really not looking forward to the fall-out with the inlaws, but as far as I'm concerned this is DH's responsibility to handle with them and I'm just not going to get involved. I've leveraged my (emotional and financial) resources to pull his ass out of the fire before and I'm not doing it again.

*

This is all posted in a hurry and in the heat of the moment, so I do reserve the right to change my outlook once I've calmed down a bit, FYI. I just had to talk to someone, and obviously phoning a friend is right out.
Oh mama, you do sound like you need/deserve a holiday. I hope you get to go and have fun with your littles. I really hope you can talk the internet company into no deposit. If not, maybe tell your il's about the internet issue?

I am not crunchy enough for this forum. Everyday I get a little crunchier though! :
lil_earthmomma is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 11:19 PM
WNB
 
WNB's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,829
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Your tickets seem pretty reasonable (and competitive with the cost of driving), your rental car rate seems reasonable.

I think the Sea World budget is where you should trim. If your kids are mad for sea animals, GO TO THE OCEAN! (Or the Gulf.) It's Florida, there's lots of it around. You have the rental car, use it $180 is more than 20% of the other expenses - that is a lot of money for entertainment. I'd work on trimming that back considerably, if not completely.
WNB is offline  
Old 01-01-2009, 11:54 PM
 
mhurst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Cincinnati
Posts: 350
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just read your update and I'm sorry everything is going downhill so quickly.

If I were you I would make your DH give you the username/password and personally change the password so he doesn't have access, he has proven himself unfit.

Good luck and hugs to you.
mhurst is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 12:05 AM
 
annethcz's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: on the beautiful prairie of MN
Posts: 9,825
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
OMgoodness. What a hard, hard situation right now. The stress of it all! The new job, moving, vacation, $- no wonder you and DH are having such a tough go of it right now.

I know I've never met you IRL, but I feel like I know you, since we seem to post in all of the same places. I would love to take you out for a cup of coffee or something right now. I'm going to PM you my numbers. If you want to get out of the house and can borrow a neighbor's phone, give me a call!


New signature, same old me: Ann- mama of 2 boys and 2 girls, partnered to a fabulous man.
I'm an unintentional weasel feeder and I suck at proofreading.
annethcz is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 12:28 AM
 
Think of Winter's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: By the Shore
Posts: 2,339
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So sorry.

Sending : and : for peace in your home.
Think of Winter is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 04:44 PM
 
honeybunmom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 1,750
Mentioned: 7 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 20 Post(s)
Oh, wow, how horrible! I have totally been there with my dh as well. To the tune of a $300 depsit on our gas bill that was turned off. I so feel you on this one. Because, really, it's not 1 missed bill that gets service turned off. As you know, not getting a bill or not seeing the automatic withdrawal come out does not mean that the phone company lost your information and is suddenly giving you free service. It means you have to follow up (and here, "you", means my husband).

I'm so sorry you are going through this because I know all too well just how stressful a situation it is when you feel financially responsible and have a partner who seems to have an attitude that it is ok to put your livelihood at risk. When he has none. Definitely sending you good vibes and prayers! I've finally determined that we *must* have marital counseling over these issues as when my lips move on these issues, dh doesn't seem to hear a darn thing. Hoping the best for your marriage as well.

Mama to add 10/05; ds 3/09, and two angels
honeybunmom is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 05:59 PM
 
Ellien C's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: in the middle ages
Posts: 5,496
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm so sorry you're going through this! For what it's worth, DH says you're a very talented writer and your ranting last post was actually pretty funny. We've been where you are before - DH works, but I'm the primary breadwinner. He's also ADHD and tends to stick his head on the sand when the financial shit hit the fan. Got the same issues with getting him to a good shrink.

For the record, it seems like you are having more of a cash flow problem, especially if you expect to get your deposit back. I take it the new job did not pay for any part of the move? Credit cards, when used responsibly, can get you through these sort of cash flow situations, but I'm not sure that's totally your sit.

Hang in there. YOu are doing a GREAT job with your family and your life.

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
Ellien C is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 06:15 PM
 
texmati's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 6,760
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Oh gosh... I just read your update and I'm so, so, so sorry.

Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdadsuperhero.gif and mom to DS babyf.gif24 months, and DD boc.gif 8 months! .

texmati is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 06:25 PM
 
LionTigerBear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Northern California
Posts: 6,455
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)

♥ blogger astrologer mom to three cool kiddos, and trying to figure out this divorce thing-- Blossom and Glow ♥

LionTigerBear is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 08:05 PM
 
jeca's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Dark side of the Moon
Posts: 8,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I hadn't chimed in yet but after reading your update I just wanted to offer a .
jeca is offline  
Old 01-02-2009, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
Belleweather's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The Heart of the Heartland
Posts: 3,197
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Thanks, everyone.

DH and I have mostly pulled ourselves back from the brink, and it looks like we might be going on vacation after all!! :

DH's mom got his e-mail and pulled him into gchat to be like "You're not going on vacation over a $250 phone bill? You're stupid. I'll pay it, and you can pay me later." So my internet was turned back on this morning, and we'll send MIL a check after we're back from Florida.

Then this morning we got a check from our old landlords for our deposit, which is a HUGE chunk of change that could basically fund the vacation on it's own. Some of that should go to paying my mom back for fronting us the deposit on this place, but it creates enough wiggle room in our budget that we can afford a "frugal, but fun" vacation! I'm still planning on cutting every possible expense during the next 6 weeks (which, sadly, is kind of fun for me. I love doing the "Okay, how little money CAN we spend in a month?" thing, but DH hates it with the burning passion of a thousand firey suns. This? Serves him right!) but it looks like we're going to go.

Honestly, I think our marriage kind of needs it. Separation isn't OFF the table, but we're going to re-evaluate after he's seen a shrink, which happens in a little more than a month. But I'm sure that the fact that we never have time together away from work doesn't help.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Emmeline II View Post
I don't understand not having access to those bills; why can't you just use his username and password to login ?
I don't understand it either, but it's not just a log-in and password combination. Apparently the site needs to set some sort of cookie in your browser, which it can only set on one computer at a time. And there is some administrative badness with our dual but not hyphenated name that complicates things. It's not that my DH is being a jackass... we've spent HOURS on the phone with tech support at the bank trying to figure this out.

Luckily, this is our old bank. So next payday we will be moving to a new and improved bank that uses Quicken Online -- which we can both access and which has pie charts and spending categories and all sorts of money management things that make my little heart got pitter patter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
I'm so sorry you're going through this! For what it's worth, DH says you're a very talented writer and your ranting last post was actually pretty funny. We've been where you are before - DH works, but I'm the primary breadwinner. He's also ADHD and tends to stick his head on the sand when the financial shit hit the fan. Got the same issues with getting him to a good shrink.

For the record, it seems like you are having more of a cash flow problem, especially if you expect to get your deposit back. I take it the new job did not pay for any part of the move? Credit cards, when used responsibly, can get you through these sort of cash flow situations, but I'm not sure that's totally your sit.

Hang in there. YOu are doing a GREAT job with your family and your life.
Thanks! Please tell your DH that his comments about my writing made my day.

My job did pay for our moving expenses, but we had to front the money and submit it through their expense system. Since we didn't have much cash on hand at that point, my mom stepped up and fronted it for us. We've paid her back as the expenses cleared, but then she needed a big chunk of that money on short notice to pay my sister's tuition for college when she lost her aid package. Which depleted our savings and got us here.

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
Belleweather is offline  
 
User Tag List

Thread Tools


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off