buyers remorse for our HOUSE!!! - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 11:42 AM
 
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Originally Posted by organicmidwestmama View Post
for sure, it wouldnt be possible for you as a teacher to buy a 500k house probably anywhere, sadly teachers in our country are not paid what their servieces are worth, imho.

you make a choice to live in a wealthy community, there are lots of great, not wealthy cities to livwe in too
Wellll, people end up living where they do for a whole host of reasons. I *chose* to come to grad school in this area 25 years ago, that's true. COL was very different then. Then I got a great job, met a guy, who had a job that can only be done here and we got marrried ...

So, choice is isn't maybe the exact right term. Sometimes we find ourselves in an area that is just ridiculously expensive and have to deal with that -- so that housing and all other items are sky high.

I can't choose to move now -- divorce forces me to stay near my kids' dad; also our ties to the community here after 25 years run deep. And I wouldn't choose to move 1 1/2 hours from my job in order to find that $350,000 house (what they would be, even in this market, that far out from our urban center :-)).

The original point I was making was that "cheap" is a relative term. There was a time, in this area, when 1/2 mil was an impressive price to pay for a house. Sadly, no more.

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#62 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 01:53 PM
 
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I would try to get out now. We knew right away that we went wrong with our home, but stayed because it felt more practical to suck it up and stay for a few years. Now we are 200k underwater and our home is worth one third what we paid. In retrospect walking away out 50k in the first few months would have left us far better off then we are today (stuck indefinitely in wrong place). Hope that perspective helps a little.

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#63 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 04:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by organicmidwestmama View Post
um, for MOST americans 1.4 mil for a home would never be an option. according to the us govt. 75,000/year income is upper class for a family. the minimum wage is still less then 7$ in most areas of the country, so you, my lucky mama freind, are very very blessed to be thinking a 500k home is cheap.
I think you'll find that in the areas where the property is more expensive, the average income is also higher. That's why property is cheap in places like Alabama, and expensive in places like Boston and New York. I certainly couldn't afford a Boston house on an Alabama income.
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#64 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 06:04 PM
 
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Originally Posted by organicmidwestmama View Post
um, for MOST americans 1.4 mil for a home would never be an option. according to the us govt. 75,000/year income is upper class for a family. the minimum wage is still less then 7$ in most areas of the country, so you, my lucky mama freind, are very very blessed to be thinking a 500k home is cheap.
Lucky? Blessed? Those words do not mean what you think they mean. For most people, never being able to consider owning their own home because they're prohibitively expensive isn't a good thing.
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#65 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 06:48 PM
 
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I think it's a good idea to get out. We bought a fixer upper opportunity and it made our lives a living hell for 14 years. It was a classic money pit -- fix the sheetrock would require tearing out a wall, only to find the wood behind it was rotted, only to realize the electrical was a fire hazard, only to find lead paint on the floorboards -- the nightmare went on.

Our current home is only four years old. It is a long commute but the repairs are tiny and fun, like "gee, what color should we paint my sewing room?" or "now that the kids have finally moved out of the parent bedroom, let's put a lock on the door!"

Our entire lives would have been different. I weep for the years the locusts have eaten that we wasted when our babies were young, stressing about lead and mold and neighbors who were angry at the state of delapidation. We put ourselves under so much financial and emotional stress living in a house that the new buyers tore down!

I thank God every day that we sold it.

I think you are lucky to figure this out early.

To the poster who thinks OP made a commitment and so forth -- puhleez! Give this mama a break! She should not live through a renovation in a house that old, with lead and asbestos issues at a minimum. She is wise to enjoy her life and her children and does not need any further punishment.

I think OP's realization is a great sign of emotional health.
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#66 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 07:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by jtbuko View Post
I would try to get out now. We knew right away that we went wrong with our home, but stayed because it felt more practical to suck it up and stay for a few years. Now we are 200k underwater and our home is worth one third what we paid. In retrospect walking away out 50k in the first few months would have left us far better off then we are today (stuck indefinitely in wrong place). Hope that perspective helps a little.
It does help, thank you ... and here's a little something for you: ... Your situation sounds tough! I really appreciate the BTDT aspect of your story.

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#67 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 07:32 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you to everyone who chimed in with their well wishes and good luck blessings ... I'll return the favour whenever I can! You mamas rock!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#68 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 07:36 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by Crunchy*VT*Mom View Post
Good luck to you, Mama!

Don't let this stress over your housing spoil this year with your new baby.

The house stuff will work itself out -- either you will sell it or you will end up staying and paying things off gradually -- try not to worry so much about this and enjoy your precious baby.

This is the goal, for sure! We've been in homelife upheaval since she was born! Here's to some stability ...

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#69 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 07:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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[QUOTE=Treasuremapper;14123816]I think it's a good idea to get out. We bought a fixer upper opportunity and it made our lives a living hell for 14 years. It was a classic money pit -- fix the sheetrock would require tearing out a wall, only to find the wood behind it was rotted, only to realize the electrical was a fire hazard, only to find lead paint on the floorboards -- the nightmare went on. /QUOTE]

This is my fear, exactly. Thank you for articulating your experience so clearly. It helps a lot to hear it from someone who has gone through it and come out the other side! So glad that you're in a better place now!

dust.gifFour-eyed tattooed fairy godmother queer, mama to my lucky star (5) and little bird (2.5). Resident storyteller at www.thestoryforest.com. Enchanting audiostories for curious kids. Come play in the forest!
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#70 of 74 Old 07-22-2009, 10:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SoCaliMommy View Post


Sorry but if you could afford to by a house for $531,000 you should just stick it out and slowly do renovations not try and think you can sell it fast just because you think you made a mistake. you should have planned better before buying the house.


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Originally Posted by D_McG View Post
Can you explain the logic of this? If she bought the house in error and can now sell it. Why shouldn't she? It's not like she bought a dog or something. A house is an inanimate object. Why the 'you made your bed' attitude?

She's not the first person to make a mistake in real estate and she won't be the last.
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Originally Posted by crunchy_mama View Post
I don't get it either. It is not like she is just trying to run away from it or something. If she wants to sell and can, why not? To the OP I wish you good luck. I think we all have made financial mistakes we regret, sometimes big, sometimes small. Every one of those makes us a bit more cautious for the next time. Good Luck!
I agree! It's a house, NOT a puppy--different standards; if she and her dh want to sell (not walk away from) their house because they realize it was a mistake, what does it matter?

: Good Luck on selling the house! Please keep us updated.

Dh and I didn't buy a fixer upper we were looking at (trashed foreclosure), and later realized it would have been a BIG mistake. With his new job, going to school 3/4 time, and me nauseous 24hrs a day for 16 weeks with second babe and a toddler, we barely held it together in a new construction home.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#71 of 74 Old 07-23-2009, 12:27 PM
 
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Lucky? Blessed? Those words do not mean what you think they mean. For most people, never being able to consider owning their own home because they're prohibitively expensive isn't a good thing.
huh? i think perhaps you misunderstood my point. what i was saying is that if someone can afford a 500k house they are probably doing well financially. i wasnt saying that people who cant buy a home are lucky. ?
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#72 of 74 Old 07-23-2009, 12:30 PM
 
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I think you'll find that in the areas where the property is more expensive, the average income is also higher. That's why property is cheap in places like Alabama, and expensive in places like Boston and New York. I certainly couldn't afford a Boston house on an Alabama income.
i dont agree that this is usually the case. many people living in super pricey, high col areas still make minimum wage. my hubby and are ARE blessed. he makes good money, we own our home and can afford its cost in a safe, nice area. however we met a man recently, an immigrant who rents a home a few blocks from us and he and his wife work a total of 3 jobs simply to afford rent, him working overtime making 8$ an hour. he wants to live in a safe neighborhood and they need to put food on the table. they live in a high col area but dont make enough money to afford it.
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#73 of 74 Old 07-23-2009, 02:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by organicmidwestmama View Post
i dont agree that this is usually the case. many people living in super pricey, high col areas still make minimum wage. my hubby and are ARE blessed. he makes good money, we own our home and can afford its cost in a safe, nice area. however we met a man recently, an immigrant who rents a home a few blocks from us and he and his wife work a total of 3 jobs simply to afford rent, him working overtime making 8$ an hour. he wants to live in a safe neighborhood and they need to put food on the table. they live in a high col area but dont make enough money to afford it.
I think "income" is the wrong word; "salary" would be a better one.

One reason my area is a good one to live in is that salaries are high despite the relatively low cost of living. In some low COL areas, salaries are also low.

A minimum wage job probably isn't a "good income" anywhere.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#74 of 74 Old 07-23-2009, 03:17 PM
 
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I want to know what 1.4 mil buys you. Everyone has different standards. The "norm" or "average" for some people is not the same for others. For example, for a long time we couldn't afford a home, so to speak. Then we made more and got a nice little ranch. But the reality is, we could have always bought a small trailer if we really wanted to and so technically we could afford a home, just not the kind we were looking for. Maybe in the 1.4 mil area there are homes for 300,000 but just not the kind they want.

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