To make a homemade gift, or to not make a homemade gift, that is the question.. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:16 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Okay so if anyone has followed any of my threads lately, I am broke. As a joke. Not even funny. : Okay, so it's a little funny, but a girl's gotta keep her sense of humor, right?

A coworker is pregnant. She is nice enough, but we don't get along. No real reason, I think we are just both super moody But I like her enough and have known her for quite a while now.

I am invited to her baby shower. Another coworker asked if I would go in on a gift, but really, I just don't have the money right now. I already bought some yarn to make her blanket- back when I had money - and seriously, it is the greatest yarn ever, totally fits in with her personality. I think she will really like it. But my coworker was shocked that I would make a blanket instead of going in on a gift that I can't afford

She said that no one needs an extra blanket and she wont like it.

Well, I don't know how to make anything else. And coughing up the money means money I have to take away from a medical bill. I am not close to this girl, but I would like to do something for her.

What do you Mamas think? I am conflicted!

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#2 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:21 AM
 
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I think a homemade blanket is a nice idea. I don't think you should feel obligated to contribute to a group gift. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. You could always skip the baby shower and then you don't have to deal with it, especially since you aren't good friends.
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#3 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:30 AM
 
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Make the blanket; it's a lovely thing to do.

And what kind of uncivilized jerk tells someone else that someone won't like their gift? Seriously, who raised that girl? Seems she's feeling worried that her group gift won't gather enough money if everyone has talent like you do and the ability to give something more personal.
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#4 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:33 AM
 
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Make the blanket! It will be used and I'm sure it will be greatly appreciated!

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#5 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:36 AM
 
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DEFINITELY make her the blanket. We got a homemade comforter throw for DS when he was born that we used for everything, and my mom made DD an afghan that was super nice and the perfect weight for when I was nip. DS loved it so much (2 yrs older) that she had to make one for him. Don't listen to your co-worker on this one, I think she's way off on it!
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#6 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:36 AM
 
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Make the blanket!

I had a baby shower for #3 that was ALL hand knit gifts (I am a knitter and it was at the yarn shop....) and I loved it! I get requests for hand-knits all the time.

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#7 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:39 AM
 
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Make the blanket! I had a handmade blanket that was a gift from my mother's great aunt when I was a baby. How I LOVED that blanket...and that she had bothered to make it.
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#8 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:49 AM
 
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When I was pregnant with DD someone I didn't even know made me a super cute baby quilt. My BFF from high school, her new step-mom is a quilter and had a baby blanket in the works when I told BFF that I was pregnant. And I thought it was super sweet to receive a handmade gift from someone I've never even met.

So make the blanket, I bet your gift will be one of her favorites even if you two aren't each others favorites. And I also agree, the co-worker putting down your gift..... how crude.
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#9 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:56 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Before I had the carpal tunnel surgeries, I was working on sending a baby blanket to a baby in need (either financial or illness) in every state. I got a lot of them too! But then someone made me feel bad about it. Saying "Oh babies get everything, you should make blankets for older people instead."

So I stopped

And it is not that I don't also make things for other people. I do. I make shawls for my church to give out. But I never felt good about my Blanket America project again after that. I don't have children myself, and may never have them. God knows that I saw enough people when I worked at the shelter who could have cared less about the blankets I made for their children But I will tell you one thing, not one single child came in to that shelter while I worked there left without getting a homemade blanket from me. I worked hard on that, and sure, some did not appreciate it. But I know some did, and that is enough for me

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#10 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:09 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes View Post
Before I had the carpal tunnel surgeries, I was working on sending a baby blanket to a baby in need (either financial or illness) in every state. I got a lot of them too! But then someone made me feel bad about it. Saying "Oh babies get everything, you should make blankets for older people instead."

So I stopped

And it is not that I don't also make things for other people. I do. I make shawls for my church to give out. But I never felt good about my Blanket America project again after that. I don't have children myself, and may never have them. God knows that I saw enough people when I worked at the shelter who could have cared less about the blankets I made for their children But I will tell you one thing, not one single child came in to that shelter while I worked there left without getting a homemade blanket from me. I worked hard on that, and sure, some did not appreciate it. But I know some did, and that is enough for me
Wow. That is so sweet. TBH, I think you are listening to some of the wrong people. Plenty of babies don't get everything they need. Do you ever wonder how many of those blankets you made and gave out later became a child's "blanky", the one they had to have to fall asleep? A treasured item just because it was for them. Maybe years later they will still keep it and it will become a symbol to them that someone out there who didn't even know them cared enough to make them something. A symbol of selflessness, compassion and unconditional love.

This is something you enjoy doing. Why let someone with their random "they don't need it, they don't want it, they don't like it" type thoughts take away something from you that you obviously get so much enjoyment out of? They don't know everything, and you probably made them a bit insecure about their own abilities to be so giving and selfless.
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#11 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:14 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe I will dig out my old map and start working on my states again. I even sent out a few to people MDC Mamas knew of. And I had branched in to Canada

I will never forget one night I was at work (I slept at the shelter half of the week) and I was crocheting. I had this beautiful cream colored yarn, but I ran out of it. The blanket I made was so small that I figured I would put it in the toy room for the kids to use for the dolls. Then I got a text message from a friend in IL asking me to pray for her friend's baby, who was born weighing only 1 lb and was in critical condition in the NICU.

So I knew right away that that baby needed that blanket. They did not expect the baby to survive So the next day I overnighted it to IL.

Six months later they sent me two pictures of that baby. One of her still in the NICU with my blanket, so very tiny. And one present day of her, with the blanket not hardly fitting her, because she was thriving That made me so happy!!

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#12 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:20 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes View Post
Maybe I will dig out my old map and start working on my states again. I even sent out a few to people MDC Mamas knew of. And I had branched in to Canada

I will never forget one night I was at work (I slept at the shelter half of the week) and I was crocheting. I had this beautiful cream colored yarn, but I ran out of it. The blanket I made was so small that I figured I would put it in the toy room for the kids to use for the dolls. Then I got a text message from a friend in IL asking me to pray for her friend's baby, who was born weighing only 1 lb and was in critical condition in the NICU.

So I knew right away that that baby needed that blanket. They did not expect the baby to survive So the next day I overnighted it to IL.

Six months later they sent me two pictures of that baby. One of her still in the NICU with my blanket, so very tiny. And one present day of her, with the blanket not hardly fitting her, because she was thriving That made me so happy!!
How cool! Life can work so mysteriously sometimes. Keep doing what makes you happy because you are making many other people happy, even when you don't know it.
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#13 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:22 AM
 
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make the hand made blanket. my home ec teacher stressed hand made not home made if you include your love and best wishes to the reciever it cant be wrong
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#14 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:42 AM
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Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
Make the blanket; it's a lovely thing to do.

And what kind of uncivilized jerk tells someone else that someone won't like their gift? Seriously, who raised that girl?

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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#15 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 03:02 AM
 
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Make the blanket. I would have loved one. I was not sure of my skills until this year so my mom has made many a hand made item for the babies in my life and they have all been appreciated.
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#16 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 03:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes View Post
Maybe I will dig out my old map and start working on my states again. I even sent out a few to people MDC Mamas knew of. And I had branched in to Canada

I will never forget one night I was at work (I slept at the shelter half of the week) and I was crocheting. I had this beautiful cream colored yarn, but I ran out of it. The blanket I made was so small that I figured I would put it in the toy room for the kids to use for the dolls. Then I got a text message from a friend in IL asking me to pray for her friend's baby, who was born weighing only 1 lb and was in critical condition in the NICU.

So I knew right away that that baby needed that blanket. They did not expect the baby to survive So the next day I overnighted it to IL.

Six months later they sent me two pictures of that baby. One of her still in the NICU with my blanket, so very tiny. And one present day of her, with the blanket not hardly fitting her, because she was thriving That made me so happy!!
you have me nearly balling. What an AWESOME thing to do!!!

MAKE THE BLANKET! You can't beat that.

I have to admit that I had to pair down my blankets (a couple even hand made by my mother ), I seemed to get showered with them when I had my first, but I gave them to my local shelter and hoped they would get some good loving somewhere.

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#17 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 07:39 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Bunnyflakes View Post
So I knew right away that that baby needed that blanket. They did not expect the baby to survive So the next day I overnighted it to IL.

Six months later they sent me two pictures of that baby. One of her still in the NICU with my blanket, so very tiny. And one present day of her, with the blanket not hardly fitting her, because she was thriving That made me so happy!!
That is amazing. You are amazing. Make the blanket. Phooey on the money-focused coworker.

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#18 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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Make the blanket!

With my first, my coworkers (midwives...who tend to always have a crafty lap project going) gave me 2 baby quilts and 2 crocheted blankets. I LOVE them! I'm still using them, now on baby #3. They make me smile.
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#19 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 10:26 AM
 
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Make the blanket! I'm in the UK where babyshowers don't exist, but i would FAR rather a handmade blanket (i knit for babies too, and i make my own little card labels which say "Becmade, love in every stitch" on one side and the washing instructions on the other) than some expensive gift someone ELSE decided i "needed" for a baby - i cannot tell you the amount of stuff i got when DD was born that i would NEVER use or want! Blankets cross all boundaries - however you birth, feed, sleep, transport and parent your kids a blanket will be handy. I certainly didn't need the bottles, cot-bumpers, pram toys or bably-walkers other people thought would be "essential" for parenting when i had DD, but i recently mended her old shawl and washed it ready for #2 to be wrapped in.

A blanket is like a hug - who the heck doesn't want a gift like that for their kid!?
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#20 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 12:47 PM
 
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I would (and will, for a pregnant friend) make a ring sling. Everyone gets a lot of blankets, as special as they are I'd rather receive and sling if I were the recipient.
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#21 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:12 PM
 
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I say make it! I really loved the home made things I had when I had my DS...he is 7 and I still have most of them...they are the things I treasure
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#22 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 01:14 PM
 
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Originally Posted by LaLaLaLa View Post
Make the blanket; it's a lovely thing to do.

And what kind of uncivilized jerk tells someone else that someone won't like their gift? Seriously, who raised that girl? Seems she's feeling worried that her group gift won't gather enough money if everyone has talent like you do and the ability to give something more personal.
This!!

All I would want to do is tell that UAV that I am sorry she is a product of our rotten, consumerist, materialistic shallow society but that I will not sponsor her project!

God I hate people!

Mother to R- 2/09, & C- 5/11

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#23 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 02:23 PM
 
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definitely make the blanket! your coworker who said people don't need "extra" baby blankets doesn't know what she's talking about. the hand-made blankets are the best. even though i wore my babies all the time, if they fell asleep in the car seat, i would keep them in it, and i loved crocheted blankets for draping/tenting over them while they slept, so people wouldn't touch.

even now (toddler & preschooler), they still love the special blankets people made for them - baby blankets are just the right size to add a little color at the foot of a twin size bed! they also get played with in the dolly cradle, and we even have one that someone crocheted for me when i was a baby. it's a really precious gift.
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#24 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 03:18 PM
 
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Just another one to say make the blanket.
I have recieved hand made blankets when my first 2 were born and I love them.

Mommy to Petunia 11/04 Bug 10/06 Button 11/09 and  Sweetie pea 12/11 DW to J :

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#25 of 25 Old 01-20-2010, 03:43 PM
 
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Make the blanket! I know exactly how you feel, I've got 5(at least) babies being born amungst the family this year! That's a lot of gifts! We have no spare money to buy all these gifts but I do have yarn so they are getting something homemade. And I LOVE and treasure every homemade sweater/blanket my kids got. we still use them all!

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