Join Date: Jun 2008
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dreadlock mom to Israel 01/23/07 & Titus 07/10/09
I would worry that they might stop giving the money every month for whatever reason, b/c then you will be in a lease you can't get out of. If you are sure you could find a way to make up for the difference, then I guess I could see taking them up on the offer. Of, if they were able to give the the $ for say, an entire year upfront, that would make me feel more comfortable in that situation (from a financial aspect, at least, the mixing money with friends things can be tricky).
Jenn<>< crunchy conservative mama to 6
and my way through my stash.
Apparently doing it rong and ruining it for everyone, but I don't give a crap anymore.
I’m sorry you are in the situation you are in, but this really sounds like a recipe for disaster. Even if you were family, I’d say that it’s not a good idea, let alone just friends.
How long are they going to be willing to fork over the money every month? Indefinitely? (Probably not, so what is your long-range plan?) At what point do they finally say, “Enough” and cut you off? What if you have a disagreement? What if they just send the money late because they forgot? As a pp mentioned, what happens if they run into financial difficulty… you will be the very first “bill” that they cut out of their budget.
This is a really bad idea on a financial level and also on a personal relationship level. This “gift” is going to cause so many stresses, that I can almost guarantee that the relationship will suffer. I think that it’s a wonderful and generous offer. I would appreciate it as such and count her as a true friend that you care enough about to NOT take her up on her offer.
As a side note, if your dd has severe allergies and you are at home on disability, is homeschooling an option at all? That would solve all the problems.
Having been on the giving side of a few situations like this, I genuinely love to help people. My husband and I have often chosen to give annonymously, either through our church or by literally sneaking around at night to drop off much needed clothes or food on a friend's porch. We've always been concerned that the giving would change our relationship.
The rental market is really difficult right now for landlords too. Rents are down and there are lots of vacant apartments. You might be able to find a good deal on a new place or perhaps find a landlord willing to reduce rent $100-200 a month in exchange for some work. For example, we're looking for a new renter for an apartment and we're willing to consider up to $300 a month in trade (housecleaning, yardwork or childcare).
I don't know that I would say no to the gift, but I think it would be best for it to be a temporary situation. For example, if your friends could help for one year, could you find a way to make more money by next year?
Could you increase your income by learning new skills or starting a small business? Do you need financial counseling to help get out of debt or learn how to manage your money?
I am guessing your friends would rather help you become self-sufficient than keep writing a check. This has been true for us, anyway, when we've felt like it was right to support a family for a season. We're always looking to see if there is something we can do that is a "hand up" instead of a "hand out"...