I'm in a huge mess,what are my options?How to talk to landlord? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Please don't flame me or judge me,b/c I really can NOT take it right now. I'm super frustrated and at my breaking point,but can't break down since there is no one to pick me up if I do. I'm also feeling sick...again! It seems that all I have is a 20 minute window in the morning when I first awake that I'm not nauseated.

I have no rent. I thought I did,but spent most of my check on overdue bills so they would not be cut,then got some groceries that I needed. Normally I pay rent first,then bills,but I'd counted on other money coming to me and things suddenly changed. I'm on welfare and NO,they will not give me anything else at all,even though I'm pregnant.

I have no one at all to ask for money from. No friends and no family who can help me with money or a place to stay. No,I can not ask the father of the baby for anything at all. No,I can not go to borrow money from any "loan" place either. It will make it all worse for me. Maybe,someone can help me move though to a new place. Maybe. The options that I'm saying NO to have all ready been looked into and they are all a no.

What I need from you is advice on what to say to the landlord
or $520!

What I need to do when landlord comes over,later tonight I think is talk to him about a deal I can make for March rent,when I can pay it etc... and also talk about breaking the lease early. Normally you must give 3 months notice to move out and moving day is July 1st. I need to avoid this as moving day since it will be much more $$$ to move and since everyone moves that day good,cheap,clean places will be hard to find and I'm probably going to be very fat then.

I'm still holding some hope of finding a last minute roommate for March to get some of the rent covered. I'm hoping this next roommate will be happy to take over the lease when I move. That way LL will be happy with me and not so angry that he has to wait for his full March rent.

I now know that I need to move for various reasons (he's raising the rent in July,I found a mouse,I'm sick of the ants,and of course unreliable roommates who threaten and steal from me all in this past week). I have no money saved for a move either.

Any ideas on how to approach the landlord?
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#2 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:33 PM
 
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I would just be honest with him (you can't afford the rent anymore and can't pay the current month). You don't have anything to lose. I mean I guess he could evict you. That is always a possibility. You can't pay him.

I feel for you. We were in a similar situation last summer. We had to walk away from the place we were renting.

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#3 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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I'd just be honest with the landlord, tell him the situation and tell him when you'll have the money, and hope that he'll take pity on you! My landlord has always been incredibly easy to work with; we've had to pay our rent as late as the end of the month on more than one occasion.

Another thing to try is calling churches in the area. I don't know about where you're at, but here food pantries, United Way, Salvation Army are all good places to look for help that aren't directly connected to government welfare. Even thrift stores might have some phone numbers for you.
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#4 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:37 PM - Thread Starter
 
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The thing is,is that I don't know when I can pay him anything. I have $80 right now that I'd really like to hang on to for as long as I can. I can use the food banks for food and maybe even some maternity clothes soon,since I'm really going to need something else to wear. I don't know if they can hep with money though.
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#5 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'm trying to avoid eviction by explaining why I can't pay now and making a payment plan that will work for me. I need to have his permission to break the lease early otherwise I'm going to have to pay the rest of the rent of $510 x 3 months if I break it and leave early. Sure it will cost him a lot in time and paperwork,but he may go that route. I'm hoping he's understanding with me and allows me to break it early.
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#6 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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I'm trying to avoid eviction by explaining why I can't pay now and making a payment plan that will work for me. I need to have his permission to break the lease early otherwise I'm going to have to pay the rest of the rent of $510 x 3 months if I break it and leave early. Sure it will cost him a lot in time and paperwork,but he may go that route. I'm hoping he's understanding with me and allows me to break it early.
Making payment arrangements is probably your best bet.

If he decides to evict you, know that you're going to have at least 2-3 months before you need to be out of your apartment. He can't even go to the regie to evict you before the 21st of March. It will then take 1-2 months to get a date there. You will then have 3-4 weeks after the date at the regie before he is able to evict you. Not a great thing to have on record, but know that he can't force you to be out by next week or anything like that.
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#7 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 02:38 PM
 
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No ideas for you mama but

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#8 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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Would one of those "crisis pregnancy" places help you out with rent?
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#9 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hmmm....I don't know about a crisis center for help with rent. I could check into that though. They may at least be able to offer some maternity clothes or baby items that I'll be needing later on. Thanks.
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#10 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 03:20 PM
 
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If your LL won't work with you, call your welfare workers office, they should be able to give you information on other places in your community that can help. A few examples are: Lutheran Social Services, Salvation Army, Bridges of Hope. No religious affiliation required. Also if you are a member of a church, most have a Social Concerns budget to help out parishioners in a time of need. If you have questions, let me know, I've had some experience with these agencies and can offer some guidance.

Keep your chin up!

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#11 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 03:53 PM
 
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Hmmm....I don't know about a crisis center for help with rent. I could check into that though. They may at least be able to offer some maternity clothes or baby items that I'll be needing later on. Thanks.
Sure they can! Have you checked with Montreal's St. Vincent dePaul society?
http://www.ssvp-mtl.org/aidez.php

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#12 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 03:59 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for the link. I sent them a message just now.
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#13 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 04:36 PM
 
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Be honest with your landlord and ask for a payment arrangement with him.

We are LL's and we didn't like getting late payments (that's our only income right now!) but we let our tenants go about three months before we handed the houses over to a management company to either pursue the money owed or find paying tenants. These two tenants were having a tough time and we try hard to work with them.

The one I appreciated most was the one who called me and was totally honest about her situation, the mistake she made resulting in not having rent money, and her consistent efforts to pay, even if it was split up over the course of a few months. She's still in the house, and may stay there as long as she's making an effort.

I second the crisis pregnancy center idea. Call around. They may not have funds themselves but they may be able to connect you with someone who can help you out.
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#14 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 04:40 PM
 
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Resistance is futile Matey
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#15 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 05:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you for all the support and advice. I called one church and explained a little what my situation was,but they don't really offer that type of help. I will have my first prenatal class Thursday at the local health clinic and they have social workers I can talk to there. They may have info about low income housing etc... I sent an e-mail to the Salvation Army to get a number to call and find out what help they can offer me as well.

In a couple hours a girl in need of a room said she'd call me,so I may still be able to get some money for rent if she moves in this week,though I'd have to adjust the rent since it's the 8th now. It's better then nothing though.

With the LL I think he'll be understanding and I know he's having a hard time also b/c the place downstairs is empty cuz he was doing renovations and his taxes just went up. He'll probably let me go early with no penalty since he'll be able to raise my rent for a new tenant to whatever he wants to and not the $10 he can only raise it to for me if I stayed another year. He can raise it sooner then July when my lease ends I mean if he lets me out early. I'd offer to find a good tenant for him as well.
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#16 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 05:45 PM
 
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You might post in your tribal area for maternity clothes and to see if anyone is looking for a room mate or KNOWS anyone looking for a room mate.

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#17 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 05:47 PM
 
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Unfortunately alot of charities are hurting for funds. At least here in the US. We looked at several charities back last summer. They would only help us if we were already homeless. They had no funds to prevent you from becoming homeless.

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#18 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 06:01 PM
 
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That sounds like a difficult situation, and PPs have had some good suggestions. In addition, are there things you could do to earn some money to help cover expenses? What kinds of jobs have you done before? I know getting a job while pg can be difficult, but if you need money, that's always a good place to start.
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#19 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 06:05 PM
 
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I was going to ask if some kind of barter with your LL might be an option? Cleaning? Cleaning the common areas? Any work on the vacant apartment downstairs? Being on-hand to show the apartment?

Third generation WOHM. I work by choice.
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#20 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 06:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I was working as a nanny until the family got daycare then was doing housecleaning until I got sick. Well pregnant,but I thought I was just super,super sick. I've placed ads for other childcare jobs and answered a few with no luck so far. I'm not I can handle working now though. I'm still really barfy feeling most of the day.

I have nothing to sell or barter with. There are no common areas to clean here really,it's a 6 plex and not a building. I could offer to show the place,but I think he prefers to do it,though I can offer.

I've asked around on CL and kijiji if anyone wants my place or wants to be my roommate and take the lease over when I move etc... but only since yesterday. I'll keep asking around.

There are a couple of different guys interested in a place,but to be honest I'm now scared to have any roommate,especially a man. The last two messed me over financially. One threatened me and one stole from me,makes me fear that the next one will do even worse to me. If he's a man he's much stronger and can cause more harm to me. Probably not going to happen,but that fear is still there and I'm going with it.
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#21 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 07:58 PM
 
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I have nothing to sell or barter with. There are no common areas to clean here really,it's a 6 plex and not a building. I could offer to show the place,but I think he prefers to do it,though I can offer.
I would still let your LL know that you are willing to do some work. YOU never know what he might need. He might have other units that need cleaning, he might have children who need care, he might need some kind of manager for the 6-plex. And since you aren't working, you are pretty available. Or, he might know someone else who needs those things.

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#22 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 08:07 PM
 
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Also a lot of landlords paint between leases, so that could be a do-able chore for you. He may have other properties or another tenant leaving now.

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#23 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 10:23 PM
 
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I am a landlord. If the rent was going to be late I would be thrilled if my tennants came to me and said "can I work out a payment plan. evictions are expensive. being without a tennant is expensive. Tell him wat charities you are looking into., Ask him what kind of help he accepts from charities (I accept some but not all because I have to qualify too) and if he has any suggestions. let him know you would like to stay until the end of your lease but that you don't think you can afford the rent any more. Clean your p0lace very well and let him know it is show ready at the drop of a hat. If he can get renters in before you move out it will minimize the impact it will have on him. i have the same set up with my lease (they agree to pay all 12 months regardless of if they live there.) as you have. So long as I don't have a gap I rteally don't care if a tennant fulfills their lease. So long as they leave it clean and ready for the next renter to move in and we have a next renter. but I have to ba able to show it without much warning for that to happen (I have a duplex so there is no model unit).

in the mean time try i would give your landlord some of the money you have. even if it is $25. I don't what kind of place you are renting but if my tennants don't pay my kids don't eat, my electricity gets cut off etc so having them pay me any amount is helpful. It also shows me they are taking action.

some options for finding rent - talk to yuor welfare social worker. she may have some suggestions. I know the city here does some sort of emergancy rent relief (one month of rent - they called me once but I declined to accept. i had already filed an eviction notice after 9 months of late/no rent. it would have just prolonged the inevitable and I suggested they use the money to help her find a place within her budget. She quit her job to stay home with her kids which is all well and good but you cannot afford a $600 house when you are only getting $300 a month in income, anyway.) Do you have a job? will you be getting one? If I know I was just holding on for the next paycheck I would be more than willing to wait. Get a note from your employer stating when your next/first paycheck will be arriving. what are you options for moving out? can you find a place? It pains me to say this but really if you do just up and leave what is the worst that can happen. you are borke., your rent is late. you have no money and things are not going to clear up in the morning. is it going to wreck your credit? chances are that ship has sailed. are they going to sue you? for what? I have several tennants I could have sued for thousands of dollars in damages and back rent but for reals, all I would have had was a bunch of legal fees and a peice of paper saying I win. They did not have money to pay me, a pay check to garnish, a tax return to garnsh, a trust fund to cash in. : really it was to my benifit to just let it go. I was just glad to be riud of them. SO really I wouldn't stress the whole lease agreement, breaking it or even back rent. if you have a place to go I would just go. but be sure the place is spotless when you leave. if it can be cleaned clean it. every nook and cranny. if you are going to stiff your landlord for rent and remainder of the lease you owe him that much. you will still lose your deposit but whatever. don't worry about it. honestly if my tennants cant pay the rent (and sometimes things happen and you are just no longer able to pay) I would rather they looked honestly at their situation and said "I am sorry. I just can't. I am going to go so you can rent to someone who can pay you" than drag it out because of their lease. But you have to have a place to go.

I hope you can find a way to work this out. But first and foremost I would be honest, and would talk to him as soon as possible. if you stay keep him updated daily/weekly with where you are at. I have forgiven hundreds of dollars in late fees and stuff just because my tennants we honest and let me know what was going on quickly. or because they made an honest effort to make payments and keep me informed.

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#24 of 30 Old 03-08-2010, 10:38 PM
 
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I was working as a nanny until the family got daycare then was doing housecleaning until I got sick. Well pregnant,but I thought I was just super,super sick. I've placed ads for other childcare jobs and answered a few with no luck so far. I'm not I can handle working now though. I'm still really barfy feeling most of the day.

I have nothing to sell or barter with. There are no common areas to clean here really,it's a 6 plex and not a building. I could offer to show the place,but I think he prefers to do it,though I can offer.

I've asked around on CL and kijiji if anyone wants my place or wants to be my roommate and take the lease over when I move etc... but only since yesterday. I'll keep asking around.

There are a couple of different guys interested in a place,but to be honest I'm now scared to have any roommate,especially a man. The last two messed me over financially. One threatened me and one stole from me,makes me fear that the next one will do even worse to me. If he's a man he's much stronger and can cause more harm to me. Probably not going to happen,but that fear is still there and I'm going with it.
I think you got some great advice on where to go for help.

I'm going to be blunt here and suggest you speak with your practitioner about getting something for the nausea/sickness. Not accepting work when you are unable to pay the bills and have no ER funds is not a good idea.

(FWIW, I think it's wise to avoid a male roommate in your situation.)
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#25 of 30 Old 03-09-2010, 01:26 AM
 
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Mulvah, i think she was saying the place let her go for being off sick (she didn't go in because she thought she had the flu and not she was pregnant).
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#26 of 30 Old 03-09-2010, 12:15 PM
 
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What a frustrating situation! I know (oh, believe me, I KNOW - 4 times over) how awful "morning" sickness can be (I had hyperemesis with my first two, where I was so sick and dehydrated from being sickt hat I needed IV fluids). it's debilitating. With my last two pregnancies, I was able to find some relief from vit b + unisom, enough that Iwas able to keep very small meals down and just be nauseous all the time. I think that you've got to find a way to work through the sickness though - you need a roof over your head and your baby's head! Somehow (I still don't know how - just sheer determination) I was able to go to school full time and work part time with my first pregnancy (even with the hospitalizations for IV fluids!) I'd suggest being frank with your landlord and telling him that you're unable to pay right now but want to set up a repayment plan. Then, I'd do everything in your power to find a job.
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#27 of 30 Old 03-09-2010, 01:35 PM
 
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Mulvah, i think she was saying the place let her go for being off sick (she didn't go in because she thought she had the flu and not she was pregnant).
I believe Mulvah was replying to her comment that she isn't working now because she feels barfy during the day:

Quote:
I'm not I can handle working now though. I'm still really barfy feeling most of the day.
In you current financial position I would have to agree with Mulvah. You need to see if there is something that will help with your morning sickness as you really need to have some income coming in right now to pay your rent and other bills.
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#28 of 30 Old 03-10-2010, 06:45 AM
 
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oh, gotcha, I must have overlooked that sentance somehow!
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#29 of 30 Old 03-10-2010, 11:11 AM
 
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Are the cleaning chemicals bothering you?

Can you use better chemicals? Seventh Generation, perhaps, or even your own concoctions?

Or is it really nothing to do with the job per se but just plain feeling to barfy to work at anything at all?

Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.

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#30 of 30 Old 03-10-2010, 11:24 AM
 
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For whatever reasons she is not able to post on this thread any more but was able to get a pm to me and told me it was ok to share.

She did talk to her landlord and he is being reasonable and giving her some breathing space.

the cleaning job she had befopre was for a guy into drugs and other illegal activity. Since her cleaning involved cleaning up after his parties and handeling the drugs (including cocain) she did not want to do that any more to protect the baby. I think that was a swell choice.

she is on anti nausea meds. they are starting to work in the morning but not so much the evening.

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