ex husband and deed to the house - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 06-07-2010, 01:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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here's the story, i bought a house with my now ex husband in 2003 before we were married. his name is on the mortgage and deed; while my name is only on the deed.

we divorced (which i paid for after having to quit school, move back in with my parents, and lose the car which was in his name). my ex never did anything except break my heart and ruin my life as i knew it.

a few years ago when i remarried, i had a lawyer send him a letter asking for $1500 and i would sign my half over. (we had made a $3000 down payment). of course,he said he didn't have that much (total bs) and i let the issue drop.

he's now contacted me (thru facebook of course) and said he wants to have a serious discussion as to what to do to get the house in his name only.
by the way, he married the girl he was cheating on me with and they live in my house.

any advice on what to do? please? thanks !
I really want this behind me, but i would like some kind of financial compensation-i've always let him walk all over me and i would like to stand up for once.

I'm Kelly, Mom to Merryn 7/28/08 and twins Luke & Thad born 9/26/2011
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#2 of 11 Old 06-07-2010, 02:01 PM
 
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I'd tell him that the $1,500 stands and that he should start saving.

Mother of two. : 4/05 and 1/07 Wife of one. : 7/01
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#3 of 11 Old 06-07-2010, 02:05 PM
 
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I would say half of the down payment plus half of any equity in the house if you were making mortgage payments together. People do it all the time. He and his new GF can get a loan to pay you off if need be. A house is an investment and if your name is on the deed, you own half of that value.
Good luck!

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#4 of 11 Old 06-07-2010, 02:31 PM
 
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A house is an investment and if your name is on the deed, you own half of that value.
Yup. Because if the two of you were to sell the house now, half of any profit would be yours'.

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#5 of 11 Old 06-07-2010, 03:31 PM
 
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Contact a real estate agent and find out what it's worth then subtract out however much is left on the original mortgage and tell him you want half. He's going to balk because he's been in the house longer, made improvements since you moved out, the market's dropped or gone up, etc. He will make all sorts of excuses. It's time to negotiate and you hold the power right now - as others have said you own half the house.

They are probably interested in selling and can't with you on the title.

Again, you hold the power on this one. If he threatens legal action just go talk to a lawyer in your state and find out what all of your rights are.

He probably can't do much but just bluff and try to get you to give it to him for nothing.

Best wishes!!!
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#6 of 11 Old 06-08-2010, 08:30 PM
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now is the time!!!!
Looks like you are in the position to set terms.
Stand firm and good luck mama!
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#7 of 11 Old 06-09-2010, 10:24 AM - Thread Starter
 
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thanks for the support and advice! he got all huffy and said he'd see his lawyer. i told him i wasn't rolling over this time!

i'll let you know-i wouldn't be surprised if once again he didn't do anything about the house.

I'm Kelly, Mom to Merryn 7/28/08 and twins Luke & Thad born 9/26/2011
Can It Get Any Better Than This? Well, I guess it just did!joy.gif

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#8 of 11 Old 06-09-2010, 12:06 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by merryns.mom View Post
thanks for the support and advice! he got all huffy and said he'd see his lawyer. i told him i wasn't rolling over this time!

i'll let you know-i wouldn't be surprised if once again he didn't do anything about the house.
I think that here, maybe YOU should contact a lawyer and find out what your rights are in this situation. As someone said above, if your name is on the deed, you could possibly have a pretty substantial stake in the house. He may not even be able to refinance it without your involvement. (I'm wondering if that is what is at issue here--a lot of people are refinancing right now.)

It's also something that's going to hang over your head until it's resolved. Whether they want to sell it now or sell it years in the future, part of that property and money they make from it still belong to you.

(I'm a little surprised that this wasn't resolved as part of your divorce, though. The property should have probably been sold and any profit divided then, or its fair market value determined/fair amount your ex needed to pay you to buy you out determined. $1500 may have been nothing.)
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#9 of 11 Old 06-09-2010, 01:48 PM
 
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He wants to know "what to do to get the house in his name only" but then threatens to get a lawyer if you tell him that may involve money? Well, good, let him get a lawyer and the lawyer can tell him you're probably entitled to get a lot more than $1500. Otherwise, hold your ground - and like a PP suggested, consult with a lawyer yourself.

It's not hard to stand up for yourself if you feel any righteous indignation over being treated unfairly.
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#10 of 11 Old 06-09-2010, 08:19 PM
 
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Well, it would seem to me that you are entitled to 50% of the downpayment plus any equity that accrued while you were still married. If he has been making the mortgage payments since that time then he gets the rest of the equity.

It is unfortunate that you had an ugly separation and that this issue was not finalized at the time of the divorce.

It is a simple matter of signing a quit claim deed. You could find a good real estate lawyer and have him/her send a letter to him explaining what you want for the quit-claim. Probably best to let the lawyer deal with the communicattion. I had a similar situation with a family member and it was a HUGE relief to let the lawyer handle it and only cost me a few hundred dollars (maybe $300).
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#11 of 11 Old 06-09-2010, 08:57 PM
 
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Has the house appreciated in value? Some houses are worth less now than they were in 2003.

Carseat-checking (CPST) and WAH mama to a twelve-year-old girl.
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