So upset and I don't know what to do next. (long) *UPDATED* - Page 2 - Mothering Forums

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#31 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 11:37 AM
 
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The BEST part of everything??
DH worked out a deal with his brother and he is going to buy our Sentra from us by paying us $100 a week.

With his brother taking over the car it will be in his name (we have it paid off) ...so our car insurance will drop 25 a month!
Please be very, very careful with this decision. Agreeing to take payments from a friend or family member for a car (or whatever) may work out really well for both parties but once the car is in his name it is his car. My ILs recently went through this with my BILs long term live in girlfriend, they had known her for 5 years and they were completely shocked when the day after they signed the title over to her she left town with the car. They have no legal rights to the car whatsoever.
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#32 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 11:57 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Do you qualify for disability at all?
No actually I am better off now that I've had my surgery and can work whereas before my surgery I could barely get out of bed or walk around my own house! But since I posted this I have been exercising again and I have gotten back up and moving! I feel so amazing and am getting stronger as each day passes!



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Please be very, very careful with this decision. Agreeing to take payments from a friend or family member for a car (or whatever) may work out really well for both parties but once the car is in his name it is his car. My ILs recently went through this with my BILs long term live in girlfriend, they had known her for 5 years and they were completely shocked when the day after they signed the title over to her she left town with the car. They have no legal rights to the car whatsoever.

DH and his family have an amazing relationship and his brother is extremely reliable on this one. On the plus side dh's mom is behind us on this and no matter what we will get paid, plus the brother in law has NO place to go and he lives with the mil

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#33 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 02:50 PM
 
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DH and his family have an amazing relationship and his brother is extremely reliable on this one. On the plus side dh's mom is behind us on this and no matter what we will get paid, plus the brother in law has NO place to go and he lives with the mil
Maybe at least write up a contract? I have to admit I'd be really uncomfortable with this arrangement, but then again that might just be 'cause I've watched too much Judge Judy when I'm home sick. Just be careful... what if he loses his job or something & just *can't* pay you? Because it's family, it's an especially tricky situation... I'd be inclined to ask MIL or someone who at least has more cash flow to pay the whole car cost outright to you & have BIL pay her off instead... Or at least have the car in both your names until he's paid it off...

Co-sleeping is really wonderful when your child actually SLEEPS!! familybed1.gif
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#34 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 02:52 PM
 
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I hate to break everyone's bubble, but preschool is a waste of money and does nothing that one parent could not do at home in 30 minutes with their child. See if their are some local free playgroups or start your own. Preschool is really only about socialization. You have 2 other children, so your child knows how to socialize. Also preschool was created so that moms had daycare for their older child. It is just a big babysitter.

Also there are houses out there with very big bedrooms and open floor plans, so that even though you are living in a smaller place, it feels bigger, because there are not as many walls. We are moving to a smaller house. We have 5 children and were living in a house with 6 small bedrooms. Our new house only has 4. 3 of the bedrooms are large, so kids are bunking up. Besides it is good for kids to share space.

I know that everything will turn around for you soon!
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#35 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 03:07 PM
 
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I hate to break everyone's bubble, but preschool is a waste of money and does nothing that one parent could not do at home in 30 minutes with their child. See if their are some local free playgroups or start your own. Preschool is really only about socialization. You have 2 other children, so your child knows how to socialize. Also preschool was created so that moms had daycare for their older child. It is just a big babysitter.
That's a narrow-minded view.

There are children who do well with preschool for various reasons and others who don't want or need it. I don't think it's legitimate to make a blanket statement about what is or isn't acceptable or needed for every family. Besides, the OP said she's moving to a mother's morning out program, and even when those say they're "preschool-based," they're still pretty much all about playing.

The problem with "free" playgroups is that they aren't free. Someone has to volunteer. Someone has to bring snacks. Someone has to have the right location. In the end, I would imagine a mother's morning out program is more convenient, especially if, in this case, it allows the OP to work while her child attends.

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
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#36 of 37 Old 08-09-2010, 03:24 PM
 
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I suppose it's too late now (?), but a Ford Flex is an expensive car that is not necessary for 3 kids. If you still need more room in the budget, this is the obvious amputation. If you're upside-down, you might be wise to cut your losses in this case, as quickly as possible.

4 kids under 10
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#37 of 37 Old 09-11-2010, 12:52 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well things went completely SOUTH in the last 3 weeks.

We found out that our property manager STOPPED paying on our house back in the Midwest. 4 MONTHS of no payments and we finally found out (he changed the billing address and phone numbers it's a long sad horrid story). So I am having got make an emergency trip back up there to figure it out.

No word on our modification, but with the issue on that other house we could lose out on the mod, and end up with no house at all. Frightening but it's one of the long lines of things that could happen out of this mess. So I try to just NOT talk about it, and do what we can day to day on it.


GOOD thing?
Well our church opened up a new pool of workers for childcare. So I am now working as I can doing childcare at church (up to 10 hours a week) at 9/hour! On the plus side I can take all three kids with me!! This is an amazing opportunity and feel so blessed that we belong to such an amazing church!

Oh and the program I put ds4 in at church I have been asked if I'd like to teach there if they open up a baby room. I said of course! Then I'll get a discount on the tuition, and dd will only be down the hall from me, and of course there's the fact I'll be bringing in more money month! So if that pans out I'll have 3 jobs with my church that could net around 900 a month in extra income for us and I won't have to pay childcare!

Proud Momma of 2 boys R(6) L(4) & finally a GIRL (5/29/10)
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