Passing up something I REALLY want - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 17 Old 08-09-2010, 08:29 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So, I've had my heart set on going to a concert coming up this weekend for months now. When tix first went on sale, I couldn't afford them. Here we are a week before the concert, and really I still can't afford for dh and me to go. Part of me wants to just give in and spend the money we don't have and make it up in the next month or so. I'm torn here.
How have you done with giving up something you really want???? Or do you "treat" yourself once in awhile even though it sets you back??
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#2 of 17 Old 08-09-2010, 08:34 PM
 
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I used to treat myself "occasionally" and would struggle to catch up. Did this for years, until one day I sat down and wrote out my annual expenses. I found that in one year I "treated" myself to almost 10, 000 dollars worth of stuff I no longer had, no longer used, no longer wanted and had not needed!

That was the year I started paying more attention to my spending habits. I still do some things out of the blue, and a concert would be right up my alley of exceptions. It depends on how far behind you are right now, and how long you think it will take for you to catch up, IMHO.

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#3 of 17 Old 08-09-2010, 08:53 PM
 
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I think if you're putting yourself behind for the coming months in order to go, then it's not really much of a treat, is it? I mean, you'll have a good time at the concert (probably) but concern about the money might sneak into your head and then how can you enjoy it? And if the concert doesn't live up to expectations, then you'll really be unhappy that you did it.

I'd skip it this time, and work some savings into the budget so that even if you're only putting away $5 or $10 a month, by next year you'll have the money on hand for whatever else comes along that you REALLY want.
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#4 of 17 Old 08-09-2010, 09:48 PM
 
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If I were in your situation I would definitely skip it, esp seeing as it is just a one night thing, not something tangible.

In the future, I would save up some of my personal spending money (we budget this in each month) so I could go.

I think I would feel really guilty if I went but really couldn't afford it or if it would seriously put us behind on our plan. I don't think I would enjoy the evening as much.

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#5 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 03:16 AM
 
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I think you should sometimes treat yourself. I mean, for my budget plan, I'll be in the red for the next 5 years or so. Am i REALLY not supposed to do even 1 fun thing for 5 years? That's crazy.
And experiences are known to be a better way to spend your money than "things", they give more enjoymenty and satisfaction.
For me, it would depend on the amount of the expenditure, the amount of joy i would get, and what exactly the situation was..i mean, would going mean your kids don't eat? then no, of course not..if ti just means that instead of payting tyeh double payment like you usually do, you pay the minimum for one month on a credit card, then sure, I would. I would not bounce a check or pay bills late or anything, but would I cut $20 out of a reasonable food budget for 4 weeks to go? sure.

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#6 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 04:21 AM
 
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How much are we talking about here? Sorry I have no idea how much concert tickets cost. If that means DH and I don't get any "personal spending money" next month, or no new clothes for a couple months, I'd do it. If it means our food budget will be cut by 50% for the next month and I don't know how to make it stretch then we won't go.

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#7 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 09:01 AM
 
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If something costs too much, the financial stress takes away all the pleasure for me...

How about going by yourself and leaving dh at home? One ticket costs half the amount as two.

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#8 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 09:46 AM
 
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I go without things I'd really like with great regularity. Financial stability is far more important to me.
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#9 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 11:24 AM
 
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I am looking at doing this right now too!

I really wanted to go to the Southeast Women's Herbal Conference (went last year and loved it) but I missed the early registration deadline (which would have been cheaper) and am now looking at spending over $240 not including meals, gas to drive to NC and time not working. Yikes!

I do think it's important to take care of yourself by doing fun and meaningful things, so I'm going to think of something else I can do for myself in lieu of this expensive trip- like maybe reserve a few herbal healing books at the library, set aside a Saturday to do some research and give myself some herbal treatments.

I'm having some trouble keeping up with my savings goals and I've just had a large unexpected expense, so I really think this is the best option for me right now.

 Married to my sweetie and enjoying life with our fabulous dog.  Expecting #1 in August 2012!!!!

 

 
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#10 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 01:07 PM
 
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Just as an aside, it's been scientifically proven that the happiness factor of spending money is much more long-lasting for experiential things rather than impulse purchases on crap that just lays around your house.

A concert might buy you more emotional and longer-term satisfaction
(read: be more worth the money spent), if you're gonna spend the money, than say, a new sweater.

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#11 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 03:30 PM
 
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depending on how much the tickets were I'd do it. In fact I bought football tickets yesterday for a game 6hours away on Thurs night for DH & I. He's away & doesn't know yet.
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#12 of 17 Old 08-10-2010, 04:13 PM
 
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DH and I have been planning on going to RUSH for my birthday for months and months. I decided that I'd rather stay home with the kids and let DH go (he's the real uber-fan). Logistically and financially it's just too much trouble. He'll go w/DS (who'll pay his own way) and another friend who'll drive. We went from a $250 trip to maybe $100.

Now, if it was JOURNEY ...

Anyway, I asked for canning supplies for my birthday instead.

ETA - I'd go if I really wanted to. Sometimes you just have to indulge yourself. When I say indulge I mean occasionally spend $50 or $100 on something you wouldn't normally buy or do.
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#13 of 17 Old 08-11-2010, 02:17 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for all of your replies/experiences! Right now, I think I'm going to hold off. It's not like $40 or $50. It would be $100 for me to go and up to $300 for me and dh to go (we'd have to pay for childcare for the day). It would cause stress for the following week until we got paid. I'm going to try to put a little away every week, so next time, I won't be in this boat.
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#14 of 17 Old 08-11-2010, 02:35 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbeing View Post
Thanks for all of your replies/experiences! Right now, I think I'm going to hold off. It's not like $40 or $50. It would be $100 for me to go and up to $300 for me and dh to go (we'd have to pay for childcare for the day). It would cause stress for the following week until we got paid. I'm going to try to put a little away every week, so next time, I won't be in this boat.
Good job, mama!

Frugal, food growing mama to my four loves

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#15 of 17 Old 08-11-2010, 03:38 PM
 
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I do treat myself when it's something I *really* want, and yes, it tends to be experiential such as concerts. And when I say *really* want, I mean like once every three years, since there are very few things I *really* want. Fleetwood Mac came by on your a few years ago, and I reasoned myself out of going. I was disappointed for a very long time, and regretted it fully. Thankfully, they came by again a couple years later, and you darn bet I went, and I am SO glad I did! DH didn't really care, and it wasn't worth the money for him to go, so I went with a friend. I have also gone to concerts by myself, when the ticket was $150 and DH didn't care about the band (U2, whom I love).

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#16 of 17 Old 08-11-2010, 03:46 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by greenbeing View Post
Thanks for all of your replies/experiences! Right now, I think I'm going to hold off. It's not like $40 or $50. It would be $100 for me to go and up to $300 for me and dh to go (we'd have to pay for childcare for the day). It would cause stress for the following week until we got paid. I'm going to try to put a little away every week, so next time, I won't be in this boat.
That's a good plan. DH is a concert person, too, and he could really screw up our finances if he went to every show he wanted to see. Sometimes it's a bummer, but if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. Having a stash of money for concerts or other 'wants' is very smart!
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#17 of 17 Old 08-11-2010, 04:30 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Purple Sage View Post
That's a good plan. DH is a concert person, too, and he could really screw up our finances if he went to every show he wanted to see. Sometimes it's a bummer, but if you can't afford it then you can't afford it. Having a stash of money for concerts or other 'wants' is very smart!
This is us, too. I enjoy going to shows - but Dh looooooooves going. Did pre-me and always will, lol! I have said "no" to a handful of concerts - but have recently gave into *three* (Vampire Weekend, The Flaming Lips, Stars). Thankfully though, they are all in our town and my mom comes up and sits for free (thank you mom!!!).

I couldn't imagine paying $300ish for *one* show. Not even if it was Tegan and Sara (my obsession, haha). Now, if we're talking a music festival...okay...

Anyway, good job on not blowing the cash! Seriously - I had bought 3 tickets to tegan and sarah for about $160 last year and ended up having to sell them. We just didn't have the money to make the trip (not in our town) and Ds was too young to leave for hours and hours...I was BUMMED but don't regret it.

Unless it was a goodbye show - I'm sure they (whoever "they" are) will come back around!
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