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#31 of 33 Old 11-11-2010, 09:50 AM
 
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I had a friend who was always talking about how broke her family was.  They had no $ for their electricity bill, or groceries, or whatever.  So we'd help out (with food), not because we were asked, but because we were worried about them.  The one time we loaned $20 we never saw it again.  They were going to the food pantry, and actually brought over their financial info so that I could help them with their budget.  I also took the time to do a "diary of a chicken" to show how one chicken could be used to feed their family for several meals.  After all the time I spent on their budget and showing them how to cook from scratch and all that, they consistently did the opposite, sinking themselves into a deeper hole.  So the wife got a job.  That should solve it, right? More $ coming in equals more bills paid, right?  Wrong.  They just started eating out all the time, buying more expensive beer, and smoking more cigarettes.  So now when they complain about not having $ I ignore them and change the subject.  Honestly, I now have very little desire to even see them, but keep some semblance of a relationship because all our kids play all the time.  Last I heard they are not sure if they are going to lose their house or not.  (basically it appears they are waiting for the bank to make their decision for them, iykwim).

 

Sounds like it's time for a new friend.


Happy Homesteading Homeschooling Homebirthing Beekeeping Dready (& a bit redneck even) Mama to 4 fab kids :  dd (23), dd (13), ds (11), dd (5)

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#32 of 33 Old 11-11-2010, 06:17 PM
 
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i find other people's finances SO confusing. there are two moms i hang out with on a regular basis. one is closer in age, we really have a lot more in common in terms of interests etc, but i honestly do not understand how they survive month to month. by all accounts, our income should be higher or pretty much the same as theirs, yet she goes shopping ALL the time, her dd always had really "cool" clothes, as do her and her husband. they go out to eat all the time, live in a pretty fancy neighbourhood, etc. i would love to have her lifestyle and i find her taste in clothes to be excellent, so i know how much she's spending on everything, because i've looked at the price tags. a few years ago, it would never have occurred to me how much of my monthly budget designer jeans, collector sneakers and new tattoos could eat up, but i do now! she doesn't complain about finances the way you describe (i couldn't stand that!) but she does comment on how much money she's spent on clothes quite frequently.

 

honestly, in the end i find it much more relaxing and fulfilling to hang out with the other mom, who is in a totally different stage of life, not that similar in interests, but who lives her life in the same frugal vein as we do. even though they have their own house, two well-established careers, they still budget similarly to us, and thus we are a lot more compatible when it comes to outings and even just hanging out.

 

anyway, i'm not being judgmental about these women's spending habits at all... they might have sources of income or expenses i know nothing about, but on a day to day basis, i find it easier to hang out with a woman whose spending is similar to my own than a person who spends very differently, even though personalities and interests would suggest otherwise. what i'm saying is that crunchiness aside, finances are a big part of lifestyle, and have a lot to do with compatibility in friendships.

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#33 of 33 Old 11-12-2010, 07:41 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilverFish View Post
what i'm saying is that crunchiness aside, finances are a big part of lifestyle, and have a lot to do with compatibility in friendships.
 
I agree.  It's unfortunate but true.  It's hard to be the one w/no $, just as it's hard to be the one w/$.  And if you are of a different mindset than your friend whengetit comes to finances, it's really hard.  A neighbor of mine and I have lots in common when it comes to our lifestyle, but if she were constantly complaining about no $ it would be hard to be as good of friends as we are.  Don't me wrong, we both occasionally complain, but who can listen to complaining all the time?  I have my kids for that, lol!

Happy Homesteading Homeschooling Homebirthing Beekeeping Dready (& a bit redneck even) Mama to 4 fab kids :  dd (23), dd (13), ds (11), dd (5)

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