My mom doesn't think that they will listen to any alternatives. I spent about an hour last night and found that the city bus comes within 1/2 mile of where my nephew is working. He could EASILY take the bus then walk that last 1/2 mile. Millions of people use public transportation every day! But I don't know if they would even listen to that option. He could do the Bike and Ride with the bus and that last 1/2 mile would be nothing.
Re: mom being our dependent. What I talked about above was what our accountant told us when we decided to start claiming her on our taxes. I'll have to put a call into him and ask again.
I'd suggest working it out will enhance his image as a problem solver.
I have helped out a lot of family in the past but I've learned that sometimes helping just sets up bad patterns, and it seems like you're kind of in the role of 'family fixer.' It can be hard to step away from that but it might be healthy to let other people sort it out while you just say no, this time.
Jenna ~ mommy to Sophia Elise (1/06), Oliver Matthew (7/07) and Avery Michael (3/10)
Wading slowly and nervously into this homeschooling thing.
Homeschooling mama to 6 year old DD.
I doubt that the bank would take her as a co-signee if her credit is bad.
Yes, and then your mom can honestly say that it is not up to her, that you have power of attorney.
Is this a local bank? Or a dealership?
I worked in banking and it was not an uncommon occurance for a spouse or family member to come to the bank and say "my son is pressuring my wife to co-sign, please don't do this loan with her name on it because we can't afford it or she isn't able to make the decision for herself, etc"
Now, I am sure this type of thing broke some sort of banking rule but it often worked.
I saw lots and lots of co-signed loans go bad. In fact, it was sort of a given and therefore, the bank was super-particular about the co-signer.
I think in general, co-signing should be something done rarely. My parents generously co-signed with us on a house, under the following conditions: they could afford to make the payments if we defaulted, we had a *huge* downpayment from savings, they knew that barring death and destruction we wouldn't default, and although I was a sahm and we had a very low income they had seen dh and I live frugally and knew that he'd work his rear off in order to pay the mortgage.
In other words, they cosigned not to "save" us from our stupid financial mistakes, but to give us a boost in the direction we were already going. We couldn't get the loan on our own because my age, and his newness to the country meant that neither of us had any credit history.
However, if I could go back for a do-over, I'd rather rent for a few years and do the house thing on our own. There were no financial problems, but there was relational tension because of the loan. Even though dh agreed to it, it still felt to him "intrusive", and I think my parents were totally well meaning but felt that the financial partnership gave them an opening into our personal lives that was uncomfortable for all of us.
If you co-sign to rescue someone who is currently in deep financial doo-doo because of poor choices, or who has a history of poor financial choices, that's pretty much saying "Problems, start knocking at my door!!"
Texmati-- Knitter, Hindu, vegetarian, WOHM. Wife to superdad and mom to DS 24 months, and DD 8 months! .
Oh, and mom said something about helping him to buy a moped or something and she just said, "No way! Not with winter coming on." Yeah, right. She was OK with him getting a crotch rocket this same time last year (because he looked COOL on it) and didn't care that his only transportation would be a motorcycle.
If sis cuts us out of her lives because we are not a personal bank for them, then I say good riddance. I'm not going to lose sleep over this and I hope my mom won't either.
Thanks again for all of the support.
|My mom doesn't think that they will listen to any alternatives.|
Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds 11yo dd 9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds
I know, but she is 50+ years old. I think that ship has sailed.
FWIW, I agree with what you and your mom are doing by refusing to co-sign in this case.
I am very grateful my grandfather took a chance with me and my then-husband when we were very young (18-19) and had a very short credit history (good, but only one store card for a year or two). He co-signed on our first car loan when no one else would. He really helped us out by doing that. We made all the payments on-time and honored his request of letting him know when it was paid off. Obviously very different circumstances. I just want to point out that sometimes co-signing can be a beneficial situation for all involved.
"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." - Mother Teresa