Hi there, if there was an etiquette section I'd put this there but since I'm considering for frugal reasons maybe you all can help!
Three years ago I got married. I received a beautiful nightgown (white and bridal)- truly gorgeous and high quality but it just didn't fit me right and I never got around to exchanging it so it has hung in my closet for 3 years. Tomorrow I'm going to a good friend' bridal shower. I'm embarrassed to say that I have not planned or shopped for her yet so I’m considering gifting her this nightgown. Here’s what I’m considering:
Pros: This friend was not at my shower, the re-gift is nicer and fancier than what I would go out and buy this evening, I’d save $$$
Cons: Some of the guests at her shower will be the same as at mine (will they remember the nightgown I got 3 years ago? I wouldn’t but you never know…), if it didn’t work for her and she returned it would they tell her it was bought years ago?
What would you do? TIA!
I would have said to re-gift it, but since there are going to be people there who might know that it is a re-gift and tell her, I wouldn't. I'd be mortified to be "caught" although I don't think there is anything wrong with re-gifting in general if you think the person will like the gift. Chances are, nobody is going to remember, but I wouldn't want to risk the embarrassment personally.
I would re-gift, removing the bar-coded price tags- leaving on the brand name tags if at all possible. There is no way to tell where someone purchased an item. Just because the tags say 'Ann Klein' doesn't mean its from Macy's, TJMAXX has Ann Klein too ya know??
As for the re-gift questions, you can always say 'no its not the exact one I have but I liked mine sooooo much I found a similar one for Jane'.
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I regifted stuff from our wedding gifts. We received a steak knives set from Chicago cutlery that was not registered for, had no tags etc. We were thinking it was a gift with purchase type thing or we received the regift. We regifted to our friend who just moved into her first apt. She was thrilled and told us so. Several weeks later, she had us for dinner and lo and behold- the steakknives!
We have gotten doubles or stuff dd is not interested in for her bday party. Those became regifts.
This reminds me of the Carson standup where he said there is a fruit cake that has been floating the globe for years. Being brought to a party, not opened. Then stuck in the freezer and brought next year to the next party....
Thanks for the ideas- I wussed out and got her a gift cert for a pedicure... But I'll keep the nightgown on hand for a bridal shower of someone in a different circle of friends. Love the idea of leaving tags but taking off the barcode!
Regifting intimate apparel would be tricky. Really, you need to assume it won't fit her. It isn't like it was socks or something. Would you be comfortable with telling her the truth if doesn't fit her, and she asks to exchange it?
I'd offer it to her, by telling her how you got it and why you never used it. But I wouldn't regift it in the usual way by just wrapping it up and giving it to someone as if you bought it for them yourself because of the type of item it is.
I would not regift that. Its clothing and very personal clothing at that. I had to exchange a lot of the gifts that I got at my personal shower because they just didn't fit right or were not my style. I would have given it to her though and just told her I thought maybe she could get some use out of it.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Created an instant family (7/89 and 5/91) in 1997. Made a baby boy 12/05 adopted a baby girl 8/08. Ask me about tandem adoptive nursing. Now living as gluten, dairy, cane sugar, and tomato free vegetarians. Homeschooling and loving it.
I also agree with this. Get her a small gift with some meaning attached, something that is her favorite thing or shows your friendship or relationship to her. Then give her the nightgown separately and write a note telling her that you want to pass this on to her and had been saving it to pass on to just the right person because it was a special wedding gift for you-- but you just were not able to use it.
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