AHA depression. i am familiar with that.
all that work will definitely be therapy for you. having to take care of one more person that is your job will be good for your mental health.
and having had my then 4-5 year old take care of dying gpa and gma and seeing the impact it left on her life i would encourage any child to get into helping with elderly people.
Wow, that sounds like my dream job, but then again I am a nurse's aide, unemployed right now but it is really rewarding work. The first few times you provide total care it might be a little uncomfortable but it gets easier. The most difficult thing however is using proper body mechanics when you transfer someone from bed to chair, if the gentleman is large make sure to have someone else there so you do not hurt yourself. Perhaps you could read a book or two on care for assisted living or long term care and decide if it's something you want to do. Or spend a day or two with the aide observing and asking questions so you will know how to do what you need to do if the need arises. Best of luck to you!
ETA: I didn't know you were expecting when I wrote that. I don't think it would be a good idea to do this type of work until at least a month pp. If your DH would be willing to take over for that period of time then go for it!
be good family...
honestly it sounds like a lot of work for very little pay. If you have to buy cooking/heating fuel that can be really really expensive. Also extra gas money and you mentioned internet was considerably more and you are going to want that if you are house bound.
And yes you have cared for your grandma but you did not do it with two babies under foot.
What kind of overnight care does he require? Are you going to be up during the night as a rule?
If you are working 4 until 7 every day plus all day Sunday that is 15 hours a day for six days and 24 for one. That is 0ver 100 hours a week. even if your rent equivelent is $250 a week that is only about $2.50 an hour.
The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it. We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.
Good luck with your decision -
You have lots of good advice in both directions, so I'll just add my thoughts.
You are telling yourself to look at it as a job - cleaning, cooking, etc. But it's not, not really. It's your home - and you will be on call 24 hours a day. What happens when you are sick and you just feed your kids hotdogs and canned peas (or whatever other crappy meal you can throw together while you throw up?!)? You HAVE to get him something. And dealing with respite (while wonderful!) is not easy - you have to schedule in advance - what happens when you tell your husband to plan respite and it slips his mind (or yours) and suddenly you HAVE to go to something (school, get together, dance class - whatever).
And what happens to vacation? It's having to arrange a baby sitter for a grown person! It's hard. Taking care of our elders is an amazing thing, but it is hard for one person to do. As you say you deal with depression (I do also, to a very low extent - mainly just a lot of stress - and that's hard enough as it is) I would be thinking about the times when I'm unable to move after work or too tired to even do anything.
On the flip side - You can always batch cook ahead so you can have meals in the freezer to pull out (even in his freezer with paper taped to them with microwave instructions) so you don't HAVE to cook (this is what I do during the school year).
mama to E (01-2007) and wife to C
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