*~*~*2012 Low Income Support Group*~*~* - Page 7 - Mothering Forums

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#181 of 333 Old 02-09-2012, 12:26 PM
 
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That is awesome you are having your families help!  I am so happy for you!


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#182 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 05:34 AM
 
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One more thng: poverty does not cause criminal behavior. My kids grew up poor, and none of them is a crook. Instead, all three are employed, pay taxes, and vote. My son just enlisted in the Army.



While not everyone that grows up poor or in poverty turns to crime, there are many that do. When people have nothing or almost nothing then they feel that they have nothing to lose by turning to crime to survive. Being poor can cause such mental anguish and stress that can lead people to do things that they would possibly never do if they were not struggling financially.

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#183 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 06:39 AM
 
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This is a low income support thread... thanks for saying our kids will be criminals.

 

I think my kids will grow up to appreciate what they do have- at least that's my hope.


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#184 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 07:20 AM
 
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This is a low income support thread... thanks for saying our kids will be criminals.

 

I think my kids will grow up to appreciate what they do have- at least that's my hope.


I didn't say anything about your children or specifically anyone's children being criminals. I responded to someone that said that poverty doesn't cause crime. I said that sometimes, not always, but sometimes it does. I grew up in some poor areas so I know it can. That is a fact.

 

I'm glad to hear that your children are doing well so there is no need for you to take it personal.

 

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#185 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 07:50 AM
 
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Are you living in Poverty Apples?  Just curious.


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#186 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 08:06 AM
 
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Are you living in Poverty Apples?  Just curious.

 

What is your definition of poverty?
 

 

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#187 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 01:13 PM
 
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My husband and I both have a skilled trade that helps us in times of struggle. We rely heavily on bartering. My husband is a mechanic and I am a beautician, both have allowed us to earn money in a pinch and get things we need. We needed repair to our basement, repairs my work-himself-to-death-to-feed-us hubby doesn't have the time to research how to do the job himself. We bartered with a mason who also needed car repairs he couldn't afford. My husband didn't sell him parts he didn't need, he simply fixed the broken part already in place.

 

As for me, occasionally I have to do a haircut or two with (5)naked, screaming kids in the room, but everyone's hair grows and needs cutting.

 

We couldn't believe that our two skills were struggling beccause those professions should never be unneeded, even though we pinched, they did in fact see us through. Long story short, my advice is to get yourself educated in a profession that doesn't expire, doesn't take money to do, and doesn't need a boss or anyone else to depend on to execute. Most cases women can go back to school very cheaply, and maybe even free.

 

Good luck and God bless.


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#188 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 02:26 PM
 
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Well this thread has certainly been supportive lately...
 
I think that if there is a connection between poverty and crime it's probably only coincidence.  As in parents are so busy trying to get by that they don't have time to parent.  JMO.
 
Anyway, we had a really stressful year in 2011 and through the whole year money has been such a problem that I was feeling really down on myself, turns out we only made $14,000.  The year before we made $24,000.  I now feel incredibly validated and extremely pleased with our ability to make do.
 
The other day one of my facebook friends was complaining because her smart phone has bad service at her (really really nice, in a nice area) house and about how she would just go back to a flip phone but it would be like trading her car for a horse and buggy.  I about wanted to scream.  I have Skype.  My reception sucks and people can't hear me, so it's almost like not having a phone in the first place.

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#189 of 333 Old 02-10-2012, 07:34 PM
 
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Oh my goodness, oh my goodness, oh my goodness. DH and I have been planning to move with taxes. We would adore having a house, but figured something in our price range would be in a worse end of town than where we live now.

I just found an ad for a home for rent with the option to buy. $500 down and $460 a month. AMAZING deal for a house. Drove by it, wasn't scared away, called about it and hope to get more info Monday. It has 3 BR, a finished attic, and an unfinished basement. It's within the city limits, so we wouldn't pay garbage, the only 'new' bill would be water. So, all in all, it's about $100 more expensive than where we are now, 5 minutes away, in a better neighborhood and with two more bedrooms! IF we get this it will be an epic success. Come on taxes. (ETA: 5 days)
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#190 of 333 Old 02-11-2012, 10:00 AM
 
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I want to apply to some preschool for DD in the fall. I think a part time high quality school would be good for her. I keep hearing how we might be able to get enough financial aid to send her. The problem is that it cost $50 to apply. I would need to apply to a few to see where we get the most aid. BUT we can't afford $200 for application fees. Anyone have/had this issue?

 

 

 

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#191 of 333 Old 02-12-2012, 07:16 AM
 
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No- but could you see if they could reduce or waive the fee?  Does not hurt to ask.


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#192 of 333 Old 02-12-2012, 10:17 AM
 
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Thatgirliknew ~ Excellent and GL!

 

I submitted Dh's USDA Direct mortgage app on Fri. We have completed the requirements for our IDA, so we will now have $3,000 free ($4,000 total) for a down payment. We went out with the realtor for the first time yesterday and looked at 8 houses. 1 is just about perfect. 2400 sq ft, 4 bedroom, 1.5 acres (so we could have 2 sheep!), rural and private on a dead-end street with a big cow farm at the end. It's SO great! There's even an in-ground pool with a diving board and a 4 season's room!!! I'm trying hard not to get emotionally attached, just in case there's some road-block to the mortgage. I NEVER, EVER thought we could have a house this nice. YAY USDA and a 1% interest rate! Our payments will be $600, $200 lower than our current rent!!! Plus, well water, so another $100/month savings.

 

I need fingers crossed from everyone. And I will do the same for you all, as always.

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#193 of 333 Old 02-12-2012, 12:18 PM
 
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I know right.Haven't really even wanted to write lately. We made about 10k less this year then last too and we both were working.
 

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#194 of 333 Old 02-12-2012, 01:38 PM
 
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kfilmore ... I suggest the you go to your library and borrow something about Maria Montessori. Her schools are great, but she herself thought that being at home with a mother is the ultimate education for a young child. She also had tips on how to turn that ordinary environment into an education theme park where children thrive.

 

I've read heaps and heaps of unsubstantiated claims taht children who are not put into a group environment will not develope socially. I have seen over and over that the opposite is true, so long as the parents care enough to socialize their own childern. To the sceptics I say, does a child learm math from a teacher (or parent or older sib) who knows math, or from a group of peers who don't know math? The same is true of social skills. If mom and dad model socially acceptable behavior, if they instruct the child(ren) to say things like please and thankyou, to share, etc, that will do more good than any preschool at any price.

 

If you are still worried your child will be too shy or something, put him/her in a Sunday school, Sabbath school (at a synagogue), or whatever goes along with your house of worship. Be sure to choose one where the group is small, and the teachers are genuinely concerned about children. And do not leave your child until s/he is so involved in the activity that you will not be immediately missed. Alternately, get together with relatives or even a group of your friends. Expose your child to social situations with other children while you are there to supervise! Allow your child to leave you in comfort, rather than pushing him away or abandoning (in the child's view) him or her to strangers.

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#195 of 333 Old 02-12-2012, 02:10 PM
 
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Apples makes a common mistake of reversing cause and effect. Poverty does not cause criminality. Criminals come from every social stratus, not only from the poor. There are many poor who do not grow up criminal, but we seldom hear about them -- ordinary people don't usually get noticed.

 

Often, the cause of poverty is the same as the cause of children who grow up criminal --negligent or even abusive parents, who do not care what happens to their children. There are parents who do not think it important to provide for their children, and so they won't work any harder than to suit themselves. The same people do not care if their children recieve moral instruction, education, love, a sense of belonging-ness, etc. Those children have a much harder time learning skills like respecting the other person. (Even those children are not hopelessly condemned to become criminals.)

 

Without much money, we can raise our children in a kind of wealth that does not depend on dollars. We can raise them to be rich in family, rich in books, rich in music, art or sports, etc. To be rich in music does not necessarily mean skilled in music, but can mean able to enjoy music. Experiment, try many things, and discover your child's potential, then nurture that. Or pass along a family heritage which might be drawing, playing touch football, writing limerics, or the like.  Better yet, share traditions AND make new ones. These distinctives give children identity, aspirations, self-esteem.

 

There was a sport-loving boy whose piano lessons culminated in being able to play a reasonable rendition of the Star Spangled Banner. It did only this for him -- he and his buddies were able to begin their backyard baseball games liek the pros do -- with the national anthem. His mother wisely accepted that -- his own idea -- as acchievement enough. but I doubt it was the end of the story.

 

By the way, new research says that the millionaires of the next generation are more likely to be kids who have part-time jobs than kids who go to all the best schools. Which of your little darlings will make it big?

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#196 of 333 Old 02-13-2012, 04:35 AM
 
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got my income tax check and it's $3,000!! I don't think I've ever even had that much money in my account before.  So now I have all this money for a security deposit on an apartment, but I'm hit with this 2.5 rule.  For every apartment I find they state in their terms that my income must equal 2.5 times the rental rate... and it does not.  And, that would be for a studio... if i could rent one, having DS.  I have two weeks to move out and my mother's alcoholic boyfriend has already moved in.  He makes me so nervous and tense I'm getting headaches in the back of my head again.  Sometimes the muscles in my neck go completely rigid when I know he's close.  Since he's there and he'll be paying my half of the rent.  I've made a few calls and am going to try offering them extensive security deposits.  I don't know what else to do.


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#197 of 333 Old 02-13-2012, 05:28 PM
 
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Brandi- do you have any rental location agencies in your area.  Around here we do and basically you give them your info, and THEY find you an apt.  THEY pre-screen you, you tell them what you want, what area you want to be in, what ammenties you want in an apt and they do all the leg work.

 

Person A could say : 2br, 2bath, in suite full size washer/dryer, min 900 sq ft, ground floor, covered parking, on the bus line, must be in abc123 middle school.

Person B could say 1br 1bath, laundry room, 600 sq ft min, min 2nd floor, no parking, must have a pool, must be in 1 of 3 zip codes, preferred employer discount for 'xyz321'

 

The rental agency would put that info in their data base, pull up some apts that match your criteria and your rent and see what's available when you want to move in.  Since the 'agency' has screened you, the apartment does not need to.  The apartment is contracted with the rental agency, the rental agency gets paid from the apts when you move in.


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#198 of 333 Old 02-14-2012, 01:46 AM
 
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how do i find one of these rental agencies??


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#199 of 333 Old 02-14-2012, 10:25 AM
 
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We took our older car to get fixed (check engine light) won't go off and it won't pass emissions so we can't get tags and drive it legally.We paid $975 to get it fixed got home and light came right back on.I am just sick about it we have a meeting with the tag place tomorrow who might be able to override it and give us tags since we have been trying since last August. I could use you guys good thoughts that we get good news tomorrow morning otherwise we are out a car and need to bum rides.


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#200 of 333 Old 02-14-2012, 04:28 PM
 
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Positive thoughts to you mama!

 

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We took our older car to get fixed (check engine light) won't go off and it won't pass emissions so we can't get tags and drive it legally.We paid $975 to get it fixed got home and light came right back on.I am just sick about it we have a meeting with the tag place tomorrow who might be able to override it and give us tags since we have been trying since last August. I could use you guys good thoughts that we get good news tomorrow morning otherwise we are out a car and need to bum rides.



 


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#201 of 333 Old 02-14-2012, 11:03 PM
 
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I sure hope you can solve this problem! I've been near it myself.

What I did was to take my veh8icle to an auto parts store that offered a free analysis of the problem. You can then compare that analysis to the list of services on your reciept from the repair shop. If it comes up that the things the computer say don't work properly are the same things they said they fixed for you, you can then go to the better business bureau and the local attorney general and go after the shop for fraud.

In future, get this checked BEFORE you put your vehicle in the shop, so you can be sure to get ther right stuff fixed. Some shops will fraudulently "repair" things the never did need repaired. Another way you can pretect yourself from big bills is to call several shops and ask what they charge for the repairs recommended in the free analysis.

If you are curious, I had an analysis say that I needed to replace three oxygen sensors. Hubby shopped around for them, and he replaced them himself. He unplugged a whatzit that forced the onboard computer to reset, with the repairs already done. But I had an extra little benefit, a promise from the little used-car dealership where I bought my van, that they would do a free check and possibly make a minor repair. So, I took my vehicle back and got their check-up, too. Then I got it inspected and passed. Sounds great, right? Alas, about a month later, the van was totaled. Frustrating!!! Fortunately, my son had a second car he was going to have to sell anyway.

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#202 of 333 Old 02-15-2012, 01:03 AM
 
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It was hooked up at auto zone 4 times in august, was at 4 mechanics before this and this was our last mechanic we took it to and fixed for about the 10th time.The receipt matches and we took it to the place we bought from and they say they can't find anything else wrong as did my regular mechanic,the shop who fixed it, and another shop.It is a common problem in year/type  car we have since I met a few more people with same cars and years and mileage with same problems.We still owe around 3200 on this car so we have to pay for it either way hoping the tag man can override it. Been a great car for 6 years until now.

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I sure hope you can solve this problem! I've been near it myself.

What I did was to take my veh8icle to an auto parts store that offered a free analysis of the problem. You can then compare that analysis to the list of services on your reciept from the repair shop. If it comes up that the things the computer say don't work properly are the same things they said they fixed for you, you can then go to the better business bureau and the local attorney general and go after the shop for fraud.

In future, get this checked BEFORE you put your vehicle in the shop, so you can be sure to get ther right stuff fixed. Some shops will fraudulently "repair" things the never did need repaired. Another way you can pretect yourself from big bills is to call several shops and ask what they charge for the repairs recommended in the free analysis.

If you are curious, I had an analysis say that I needed to replace three oxygen sensors. Hubby shopped around for them, and he replaced them himself. He unplugged a whatzit that forced the onboard computer to reset, with the repairs already done. But I had an extra little benefit, a promise from the little used-car dealership where I bought my van, that they would do a free check and possibly make a minor repair. So, I took my vehicle back and got their check-up, too. Then I got it inspected and passed. Sounds great, right? Alas, about a month later, the van was totaled. Frustrating!!! Fortunately, my son had a second car he was going to have to sell anyway.



 


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#203 of 333 Old 02-17-2012, 06:42 AM
 
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Hello mamas its been awhile since i've been here. redface.gif I hope I can join in.

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#204 of 333 Old 02-18-2012, 07:13 AM
 
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Welcome!!!
 

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Hello mamas its been awhile since i've been here. redface.gif I hope I can join in.


**********************************************************

good news for me. The state inspection gave us a waiver and our car is legal for another year.thank goodness.

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#205 of 333 Old 02-18-2012, 01:26 PM
 
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Welcome!!!
 



**********************************************************

good news for me. The state inspection gave us a waiver and our car is legal for another year.thank goodness.


thanks! And congrats! I know how stressful that can be.

 


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#206 of 333 Old 02-18-2012, 02:16 PM
 
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I haven't really posted an update in a while. Finally got the FS stuff situated...at least for another couple months. I did feel guilty when she double checked to make sure the amount she released was on my card and saw that we already had a large balance. I use my fs, I don't pay for my food cash, I just spend frugally and have built up a balance. I am hopeing that someday we will be off fs and that balance will help us while we adjust.

 

Other than that things are still really crummy and I am starting to freak out again. DH was told 2 weeks ago that he would start his new job next week, which was last week. But they never called back. I asked him to call them yesterday to follow up and he forgot. That really made me mad. I understand that he is still working on real estate stuff too, but to forgot to follow up on the job you are supposed to be working is unacceptable to me. I wish I could forget that we are going to be completely out of money and looking for someone to let us live with them in a couple months if he doesn't start this job, but i can't. MIL is living with SIL already and my sister is living with my parents. I have no idea where we could go at this point. My Aunt and Uncle offered their place when we lost our house, but they live about 45 min away from DH's real estate office and all of our homeschool activites/classes, and over an hour from Dh's supposed new job.

 

I am so tired of feeling like this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have this overwhelming guilt that I should get a job too but that would mean putting the kids in school and paying for child care. I haven't worked in over 8 years and have no degree or real skills so I am not real hireable beyond fast food or retail which would barely cover the cost of child care.My kids have never been in those kind of situations. They have never even been babysat by someone that wasn't friends or family and even that is rare. It would be a huge adjustment for them. I just don't know...


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#207 of 333 Old 02-18-2012, 03:01 PM
 
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I haven't really posted an update in a while. Finally got the FS stuff situated...at least for another couple months. I did feel guilty when she double checked to make sure the amount she released was on my card and saw that we already had a large balance. I use my fs, I don't pay for my food cash, I just spend frugally and have built up a balance. I am hopeing that someday we will be off fs and that balance will help us while we adjust.

 

Other than that things are still really crummy and I am starting to freak out again. DH was told 2 weeks ago that he would start his new job next week, which was last week. But they never called back. I asked him to call them yesterday to follow up and he forgot. That really made me mad. I understand that he is still working on real estate stuff too, but to forgot to follow up on the job you are supposed to be working is unacceptable to me. I wish I could forget that we are going to be completely out of money and looking for someone to let us live with them in a couple months if he doesn't start this job, but i can't. MIL is living with SIL already and my sister is living with my parents. I have no idea where we could go at this point. My Aunt and Uncle offered their place when we lost our house, but they live about 45 min away from DH's real estate office and all of our homeschool activites/classes, and over an hour from Dh's supposed new job.

 

I am so tired of feeling like this. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have this overwhelming guilt that I should get a job too but that would mean putting the kids in school and paying for child care. I haven't worked in over 8 years and have no degree or real skills so I am not real hireable beyond fast food or retail which would barely cover the cost of child care.My kids have never been in those kind of situations. They have never even been babysat by someone that wasn't friends or family and even that is rare. It would be a huge adjustment for them. I just don't know...

 

Why don't you take college classes online? You can do them at night. Maybe you don't have a college near you. I live in a city w/4-5 colleges, so I forget that some people don't. But there are colleges that do the entire degree online. Maybe beauty school, if you've got one. As a previous poster mentioned, everyone needs a haircut, and most prefer to not have a home haircut (meaning themselves or someone that doesn't know what they're doing). Night classes and financial aid. Grants cover our entire tuition, plus. Then if you have scholarships... And loans they help a LOT. Yes, you have to pay them back someday, but the premise is that you will be making enough to do so. AND, if you're not, they give you the payment you can afford (including zero). After you pay that amount for 20 years, you're done. I feel it's well worth it. Especially to better myself and my family with a skill that's at the very least barterable.
 

 


FAs, co-sleeping, babywearing, extended nursing, positive parenting, homeschooler

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#208 of 333 Old 02-24-2012, 09:36 AM
 
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DH got the offical start date, FIANLLY! He starts Friday 3/2. They will spend the 1st week setting up the new store so he was warned that he'd have alot of hours while they get it going. YAY! So relieved, but now I am worring about the long term since his income will be a little more than half of what we need each month. Plus gas prices are going crazy and he will be driving 20 miles each way.

 

I am trying to just be in the moment and be thankful. They told him that after 2 months he's be eligable for full time with benefits. I am hoping that will happen and come with a bit of a raise too. In June our rent is likely to go up but we've seen places that are similar and less than what we pay now so we'd like to move. However FIL is on our lease now since we don't qualify on our own. With a little raise we might qualify on our own (even though the actaul income still won't be enough) and it would be wonderful to lower our rent a bit.

 

Gabbyraja: I've thought about school many times but I just missed the spring semester this time around. I'd have to wait until Fall again.  Plus I worry about my being able to concentrate. I have alot of concentration and focus issues due to thyroid and CFS.


Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

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#209 of 333 Old 02-24-2012, 02:31 PM
 
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I had an interview today and have a 2nd interview on Monday.  Crossing everything for an offer on Monday.  I need this job (potential start date of 3/26). I don't care what the hours are, pay range is almost livable and its 2 miles from my house.  There is career advancement and monthly bonus checks!  I know I swore I would NEVER go back to call centers but honestly, I need the money.

 

Please wish me luck and good vibes for Monday's interview.  I know I can pass the background check.


Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

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#210 of 333 Old 02-24-2012, 07:36 PM
 
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My FS still wasn't fixed so I contacted the Ombudsman and she fixed everything that day and I got a $436 backpay on my card for all the months i've been waiting. My worker is pissed with me now so I am going to switch workers.


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