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#61 of 133 Old 02-01-2012, 05:57 AM
 
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Mrs. S. You are in this situation because of bills?  Would you be able to file bankruptcy?  Or not?


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#62 of 133 Old 02-01-2012, 03:42 PM
 
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Well I had the phone interview.  The gal said about a  WEEK for follow ups... ugh... I can NOT wait that long... I will go insane, especially with a potential start date of 2/20.  I think I answered the questions well.   But really, how do you answer a question of 'what did you like about this job posting;?   Well... it was full time, in an industry I have 10 years experience and its close to my home.  Ive done the job before and I'm looking to get back into the industry.  I mean, really what do you say, its a bare bones job description.  She asked me that ? 2x.  ugh.

 

I need a full time job, close to home with benefits.

 

Payroll was deposited today and its more than gone already.  Next pay is spent too.. I hate living like this.  Yes its gone and I have not paid rent yet.  I can not hang on much longer.  This is totally insane.  Part of me says to put all my efforts into job hunting because this tiny paycheck isnt worth it but I need the tiny checks for the utilities and such.   The never ending battle of living on the edge.  I HATE IT.


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#63 of 133 Old 02-01-2012, 05:54 PM
 
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Mrs. S. You are in this situation because of bills?  Would you be able to file bankruptcy?  Or not?

 

Well, it started when I had to severely cut back on my work earlier in my pregnancy than I planned.  I am determined not to have my child in day care for the first couple of years, so it will be evening and weekend work or nothing.  We've been hit by a couple of medical bills that have eaten into our savings, and things are looking a little scarier than we'd expected.  Still, no, we are not close to bankruptcy.  Our only debt (other than being on an interest-free payment plan for one of the medical bills) is our mortgage, and I would take extreme measures to fit work into my post-birth schedule before I let our credit be ruined.  It could definitely be worse;  I just don't want to give up on my dream of staying home with the baby.
 

 

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#64 of 133 Old 02-01-2012, 06:17 PM
 
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Well I had the phone interview.  The gal said about a  WEEK for follow ups... ugh... I can NOT wait that long... I will go insane, especially with a potential start date of 2/20.  I think I answered the questions well.   But really, how do you answer a question of 'what did you like about this job posting;?   Well... it was full time, in an industry I have 10 years experience and its close to my home.  Ive done the job before and I'm looking to get back into the industry.  I mean, really what do you say, its a bare bones job description.  She asked me that ? 2x.  ugh.

 

I need a full time job, close to home with benefits.

 

Payroll was deposited today and its more than gone already.  Next pay is spent too.. I hate living like this.  Yes its gone and I have not paid rent yet.  I can not hang on much longer.  This is totally insane.  Part of me says to put all my efforts into job hunting because this tiny paycheck isnt worth it but I need the tiny checks for the utilities and such.   The never ending battle of living on the edge.  I HATE IT.


 

You say something like, "well i wanted a company I could grow with long-term."  Or "I wanted to settle into a job that I could enjoy and 

since I enjoy custoer-service based jobs I really felt like this position would be a wonderful fit for me."    ;)  Just BS your way in.  And then you can have the job and impress with your work ethic.

 

Crossing my fingers for you.


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#65 of 133 Old 02-02-2012, 07:06 AM
 
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And I have two sick kids so no work for me today- there is $50 down the drain.... UGH!  Thats why I do what I do tho- so I don't have to worry about losing a job unexpectedly due to their sickness- all the people I clean for know I am a single mom and good about when things come up due to the kids.


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#66 of 133 Old 02-02-2012, 09:40 AM
 
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Jess-Thanks for the clarification. I guess it sounds a like it may have hit you personally, reminding you of your friend. Instead of like me, who just saw some women standing together smiling. I can kind of see where you are coming from. Its not easy to hang out and smile when you are counting pennies from the couch to have the gas to go to your friend's home. 

 

zebra-hope you get good news on the job!

 

mom31-Sorry for the lost day but as you said, its great that you work in such a flexible job. 


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#67 of 133 Old 02-02-2012, 08:29 PM
 
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Got the rejection email... I am going to assume I'm over qualified and not take it as total rejection.


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#68 of 133 Old 02-02-2012, 09:10 PM
 
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I'm sorry about all the struggles you ladies are going through and I'm praying things get better.  I'm not sure if I'm more likely to be classified in this thread or the low income one.  Things are much better for us than they have been in the past.  When my husband and I first started out, we lived in a tent in people's back yards.  That lasted about six months, and then my hubs was accepted to the college in my home state/near my home town.  My parents loaned us the money to move home, and we've been here four and half years now.  College courses didn't pan out like they hoped though, and hubby works in a factory making less money than we need.  We rely on food stamps, the children have medical assistanceand hubby and I have no insurance (we had insurance through his job but they cut the benefits and raised the rates, paying out of pocket and using charity care if we are hospitalized makes a lot more sense).  Still, we're relatively comortable compared to others.  When my dd was a baby we lived off of about five hundred dollars a month and what little aid for utilites, etc was out there.  Then hubby got this job when she was seven months old.

 

I am a sahm but I've considered working outside the home.  It just doesnt make financial sense though.  We cannot afford daycare, and if I worked we would be making JUST enough for us to be cut off of daycare assistance and foodstamps.  So I'd work to be in the same financial position we're in currently, my children would be in daycare, and I think it would just be a stresser for everyone.  Luckily hubby is slowly getting raises, we're slowly weaning from food stamps, and we're forging ahead. 

 

People have perceptions of what you should do/look like/ have when you live below the poverty line, but it's just not cut and dried.  Nobody is living your life but you, and you seem like such lovely ladies with resolve and strength.  I have no doubt you're doing what's right for your family, and I hope you feel more secure soon. 

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#69 of 133 Old 02-03-2012, 05:27 AM
 
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Oh Zebra- shit.


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#70 of 133 Old 02-03-2012, 06:48 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Sorry Zebra, that's disappointing news


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#71 of 133 Old 02-03-2012, 06:51 AM
 
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How are you Jess? I have to head out to work. How are you doing?


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#72 of 133 Old 02-05-2012, 05:35 PM
 
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Got the rejection email... I am going to assume I'm over qualified and not take it as total rejection.



I'm sorry.  *hugs*

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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#73 of 133 Old 02-06-2012, 02:56 PM
 
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Yes! This is me. Family of 4 living on $800-1200 a month depending on how much supplemental money I can make in a month.

Dh is disabled and can perform limited work. I am disabled and can't work a 'job'.

He is a PT cook and I make my money from the peddler's mall, running errands for an elderly/disabled friend, and doing a couple hours of clerical work a week for my sister's business.

I would LOVE to be able to do the Total Money Makeover and have an emergency fund and pay off my debt, but it simply won't happen at this point.

Some weeks we don't have enough money to last the week, and it's not because we make poor choices, it's because we simply cannot make enough money.

Dh is at the end stages of disability. He has his lawyer and court is less than 6 months away. His is a pretty simple case. He's legally blind, his vision deteriorates every year. Unless/until treatment is available we know one day he will lose all sight. For the time being, he is working as much as possible.

Mine isn't as simple. My back is esentially deteriorating. I lose a disc approximately every 2 years since around age 15. My mobility decreases every year. I used to be an athlete, now I consider myself lucky to make it up a single flight of stairs. My mother was completely wheel-chair bound at age 35. It's congenital apparently. I am at the beginning stages of disability.

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#74 of 133 Old 02-06-2012, 02:58 PM
 
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welcome ! 


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#75 of 133 Old 02-06-2012, 07:40 PM
 
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I usually post on low-income threads. My family is a lower middle class family. We make just above the cut off for any type of assistance but we still have to stretch to make ends meet.  Childcare expenses kill us. We’ve had good years and bad years but I try to remember nothing is permanent. Things will change, opportunities will come and go and my kids will grow up happy and healthy no matter how much we have.

 

My aunt and uncle were incredibly poor for many years when their children were growing up. They lived in a small house and often relied on assistance and family members to pay bills.  I aunt spent 10 years putting herself through college at night when her kids were small. She went on to earn a Master’s degree and now she is the top accountant for our state. I guess when I’m feeling down I always think of her family. I think of all the families I know who made it through the worst of times.  You will make it through too.  


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#76 of 133 Old 02-07-2012, 05:15 PM
 
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We definitely belong in this thread.  I just got the shut off call from the electricity company ( trying to get assistance for that)  Food stamps turn on tomorrow thank goodnessand I am just bloody well spent and stressed.  Our income right now is equal to our rent- which as you can imagine is not working out so well.  I am hoping our tax return can move us into a cheaper place but right now is so so rough.  I have two 15 yr old girls and a 7 yr old boy and they are so wonderful about stuff- but I am feeling panicky tonight.  We always figure things out and I know it has to be OK- but yikes.  I just need to figure out how to get gas money to get everyone to school and work this week.....sigh.

We always do better as the ag/landscaping season kicks in,  just feels like so far away right now.

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#77 of 133 Old 02-09-2012, 03:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hi ladies! I just got some mixed news...

The good news is that I got approved for temp. disability/ work rehab.

The bad news is that my property manager doesn't believe i will have enough to live on and afford $795 rent (she's right, but i was going to patch it all along as long as i could, hopefully long enough to get other stuff back on track) so i may have to move, which is just NOT something I need to be dealing with now.


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#78 of 133 Old 02-09-2012, 08:15 PM
 
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I need to sub this thread, I haven't been on in a few days, but hugs to everyone.  You are all so strong even if it doesn't feel that way sometimes.  Hang in there, and zebra, so sorry for the e-mail rejection :(.  My husband got rejected (he's almost done with his degree - he's 26) for a server job at applebee's this summer, and looking at the current staff I could not believe it.  I think the over-qualification scares employers because they think you might be out to take their jobs, or just using their job as a temporary fix while you look for another.  Downright maddening.  

 

My paycheck, which is deposited in three hours, is already divvied up between where it has to go.  We have a couple of days worth of food left, but good thing we have a jar of peanut butter and a medium bag of oatmeal and eggs.  Feelin' good, if stretched beyond my limit.

 

 

Good luck everyone. 

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#79 of 133 Old 02-10-2012, 06:30 AM
 
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Jess that's great about disability!  I hope that you don't have to move- but dang- rent 795 I knew things were expensive there.... that sucks. Could you house/share with anyone?


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#80 of 133 Old 02-10-2012, 07:35 AM
 
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Jess that's great about disability!  I hope that you don't have to move- but dang- rent 795 I knew things were expensive there.... that sucks. Could you house/share with anyone?



In Hawaii that actually sounds like a 'bargain'. There are other parts of the United States where rent can easily be $1200 and that's for getting nothing special either.

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#81 of 133 Old 02-10-2012, 09:04 AM
 
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In Hawaii that actually sounds like a 'bargain'. There are other parts of the United States where rent can easily be $1200 and that's for getting nothing special either.



I agree, not that that makes it any easier to afford if you just don't have the funds though.  Here in New England my paltry $895 for rent is the cheapest I've ever paid.  And I live on the border of a not-so-nice area and paid more in another even worse area at our old house.  MOST places here are about $1000-1200 for an average apartment or condo.  We live in a side-by-side duplex in a shady section of our town and my kids go to a Title 1 school.  Our neighbor two doors down is a smack addict and the girl around the corner is a prostitute.  And you have to be careful where the kids play in the park 1 block away from our house because of all the glass working it's way up from the grass after years of broken bottles and vandalism.  :(  So that gives you an idea of how cheap my rent is considering.  


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#82 of 133 Old 02-10-2012, 09:09 AM
 
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But on the brighter side, tax money came in Wednesday.  My middle child is rockin some cute new sneakers that she desperately needed.  I found an $8 shirt at Aeropostale for my oldest daughter and she's in HEAVEN wearing it. And I'm feeling really blessed because my littlest girl is home sick right now and I'll be refilling her albuterol tonight for free with our medicaid.  I'm obviously not thrilled she's sick and wheezy and we'll be seeing the doctor this weekend but I'm feeling so blessed that the $1200 worth of meds she takes per month are not a worry on my mind about affording.  Everytime I break out the "sick" meds I feel so grateful for our medicaid.  And because our tax money came in and I was lucky enough to be able to pay off all my debt last year, I have a little extra money this year for fun stuff.  My sister's wedding is next month and I'm able to give her a generous monetary gift for her and my BIL to make their lives a little easier.  Feels really good to be able to be in that position for once.


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#83 of 133 Old 02-10-2012, 10:38 PM
 
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we are struggling my husband is a disabled vet...we get a paycheck from the VA my husband is 90% disabled from the VA but it only covers our rent and utilities and gas for the month. So while we do have the roof over our heads covered and utilities we dont have food covered for the entire month and if someone needs something else financially we struggle. My husband does have a "job" but he's severely underemployed and it helps us with food. We just barely make too much for food stamps like by dollars. My husbands job is also temporary so after that we'll be on them. We are also a family of 8 and we live well below our means. We live in an extremely small house etc. We are fortunate enough to have insurance through the military but it came with a lot of sacrifice and so did that VA check...we keep getting denied for disability from the federal government even though my husband has serious injuries/illness from serving (TBI,PTSD, Major back injuries and other illnesses) basically the gov sends the denial letters and says its because my husband has a college education right in the letter and because of his job experience he had in the military...is this a WTF moment for you reading it like it is for me? yeah I thought so too, because you are educated you couldnt possibly be disabled forget the fact that you have a TBI (traumatic brain injury) and a ton of other injuries/illness. Oh boy. I totally get the whole thing where people say they are struggling but they have a ton of CRAP. We have almost no debt, and can barely feed ourselves...most people I know are struggling because they have debt. They have good jobs,good health,etc etc. their debt on credit cards is why they are hurting because most of them that I know are busy buying material things new cars,houses,clothing they dont genuinely need ,eating out excessively etc. I can barely feed my kids some months...dont talk to me about struggling seriously. I feel seriously sad for all of you who cant even afford your rent and utilities even. I am so frustrated to not be able to provide other basic needs for me and my kids. I dont have dental anymore and I need a really bad wisdom tooth pulled and all kinds of crap. to keep military dental we needed 100$ a month now, we dont have it. I hate living this way its so hard to accept and I know some of you are worse off than even us and I cant even imagine. I wish I could change things for all of us :-(


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#84 of 133 Old 02-12-2012, 09:48 AM
 
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I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!

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#85 of 133 Old 02-12-2012, 12:43 PM
 
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I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!


I am so sorry mamahart! I have been there and it is so hard. Please find a way to calm yourself even a little. Even if it is to lock yourself in the bathroom for 5 minutes and take deep breaths or finds some awesome music and move your body to burn some anxiety. I have been to the point that I was actually having heart palpitations because of stress. It can be really serious and your can't help anyone in that condition. PLEASE find a way to take care of yourself. Take a walk if the weather is decent. Something! Big hugs and lots of love to you and your family!!!
 

 


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#86 of 133 Old 02-12-2012, 03:37 PM
 
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So boyfriend cooked a big ham for me on Sunday and now we have lots of ham- can I just throw it in a bag and freeze some of it?  He really bailed me out.  The kids love it- he has done it for us before... so sweet. Any recipes for cooked sliced ham?


We put ham in egg-bakes: Eggs, cheese, veggies, ham (if we have it), milk (if we have it) - mix, put into a glass dish and freeze until time to bake. We make two or three at a time.

Ham is also great for sandwiches. Try a ham-salad (like egg or tuna salad) to stretch it out.

We also just eat ham as a small meat with large (cheap) sides.

I love to use leftover meat for hot sandwiches: make a bit of stock with the hambone and use some of that to make ham gravy, some mashed potatoes and a few slices of bread. Throw a veggie on the side and it is a nutritious, easy, cheap and very filling meal.
 

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Originally Posted by MrsSlocombe View Post

Mom31, I think if you do a reasonable job estimating how much detergent is on the towels, it will work.  If the entire contents of the big bottle go in the wash, the load will need some extra rinses, at the very least.  That must have been so frustrating!  :-(

 

I am wondering what you guys do for socializing and fun.  My budget has been cut to near-poverty levels recently, due to income loss and medical expenses incurred.  (Our income was never actually high, but it was once lower-middle class.)  This does not mean that I am in the exact same position as each of you, but I am currently thinking below an ordinary "frugal" level.  I am genuinely worried about how the next couple of years will go, with reduced income, mortgage payments, and the baby (coming in June).  One thing I would like to do is network with parents who share our lifestyle (happens to be vegan) so that we can share information and our babies can be friends, but while in the old days, I might try to find other vegan Moms to meet at a coffee shop, that is no longer within my budget.  We sometimes entertain close friends at home, and that will continue to be an option, though we are not really set up for large groups, and our dining room furniture is uncomfortable even for us, just because it is old, unpadded, and comes from a time when people were smaller.  Replacing this furniture was once a thought;  it no longer is.  I'm a little embarrassed about it, and it keeps me from having larger groups or newer, less close friends over.

Do you have any fun ideas for socializing with either good friends or new people, on a poverty budget?

 

 


Board games. You can get some for cheap, and if each family/couple gets one different game, you can have several games to play between you all.

 

******************************
We are just barely in this stage now. We have enough to get through the month, but saving money is a joke. It seems like we get a bit ahead and something happens to trash the savings idea. I have a degree and DH is working on his. Daycare and housing costs are insane, and we live in a cheap area (we are rent-to-owning my parent's house for $400/mo, daycare is over $5k/yr). We have "treats" a few times a month - and I'm talking about ice cream or eating out for a b-day/anniversary. But eating out daily? We could NEVER do that. I know people who go to the bars all the time and I'm like, how do you afford daycare PLUS the cost of buying drinks at a BAR?!?

 

Our biggest expenses are travel for the store events, and travel for family get-togethers. Fortunately, my parents are willing to help when stuff gets to be a bit too much. I am currently paying them back for their most recent loan ($500). They are great about stuff like that because I don't ask for too much or act ungrateful for it (like my brother does).

 

My parents are also EXTREMELY generous with holiday/b-day gifts, and we get to ask for what we want. I ask for things that are practical: a gun for DH so he can go hunting (meat!!), a snow-blower, etc. They decided they didn't need their huge gas grill anymore, so I'm getting that for a late b-day gift. My other b-day gift was a refurbished snow-blower. They are used stuff, but we are talking about $500/each new, so I'm not complaining AT ALL.

 

I do NOT buy my kids toys except for one each at the holidays/b-days. My parents like to spend money on them, so they get plenty. And I pick gifts that are well-thought-out. Each year, my one little gift has been the favorite gift.

 

We are splurging with our tax returns this year and buying an electric tiller. We plan on turning the majority of the backyard into a huge garden. We have little time and not very green thumbs, but I figure we can get something out of it and involve the kids, too.


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#87 of 133 Old 02-12-2012, 07:43 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamahart View Post

I feel like we are on a crash course for disaster right now.  This morning I am almost paralyzed by anxiety about what is going to happen next.  We basically cannot even meet our daily needs- like toilet paper and toothpaste- let alone gas and rent.  My husband has been working very little and we are so behind that when he does work the money is gone immediately.  I need to clean my house and make things seem normal for my kids and I just want to scream and cry because I don't see any options right now. 

I'm scared and tired and angry and mostly just stuck.  I feel like I have exhausted all options of "help" and now we are just spiraling into potential homelessness and I don't even know how that is supposed to be ok.  It just seems like everything just costs too much and it is almost impossible to survive even living a very simple life.

I'm also afraid that I am going to have a heart attack or an aneurism or something because my stress level is off the charts. 

This has to change!!!



I agree that you need to take some time for you.  What calms you?  What do you enjoy?  Can you put the kids down to bed a few minutes early and give yourself a pedicure?  I'm ALWAYS in a better mood when my toes are colorful.  Get some exercise and move your body.  Take the kids for a walk, go for a hike.  When I get beyond stressed and angry and anxious I try to get out for a run.  Running with my ipod at full blast makes my stress melt away.  Something about an hour of just my breathing, my heartrate, my music, and a lot of sweat always makes life look better.  If you need to make life normal for the kids, why not take them outside to the park or the playground?  Play on the monkey bars.  Go down the slide(I always fall off the end.  I don't know how the kids catch themselves).  Instead of pushign them on the swings, make them push you.  Or get them going and get on your own swing.  Did you know swinging is a neurological soother?  Fact.  It's oddly calming and soothing.  Is there a place to swim near you?  Somewhere free obviously.  Swimming and being in water is calming to most people.  Even if you can't muster the energy to leave the house, maybe making a batch of cookies with the kids would help or doing a "spa party" where you all soak your feet in warm soapy water and paint toenails would be a blast.  That would accomplish some calming vibes and give the kids a bit of your time and love to normalize things for them.  Since your husband is home maybe he could play a board game with the kids or read them some books or take them outside for a little while so you can get some time to yourself to read or take a bath.  Work within your limits, do what you can.  Taking your mind off your situation even just for an hour can help relieve the intense pressure on you and maybe get you to see the situation in a better light and find a new solution you hadn't thought of.  It will give you perspective hopefully.  


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#88 of 133 Old 02-15-2012, 12:22 PM
 
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Thank you justmama.  I sort of made it through a tough moment and can breath now.  We potentially are getting taxes back soon and we actually went out for our 10th anniversary to a little local circus guild event that doesn't cost much and it felt so SO good to be in the real world with cute shoes on.

Not to mention that my husband has work EVERYDAY this week which is awesome.  I got an appt for help with my electricity bill and for right now I feel very hopeful.

Thanks for having a place I can be scared- one of the hardest parts is being "OK" for my kids as much as I can.  It's tiring.

Take care now.

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#89 of 133 Old 02-15-2012, 12:36 PM
 
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We are so stinking poor I can't take it anymore. DH hours just got cut and he's making $1500 a month net. He is also a FT student so I can't work opposite of him. (I was laid off when pregnant with DD) I'm in my 3rd trimester with number 2 now (I don't want to talk about it).

 

We can't make ends meet. We can't afford to pay all of our bills and we really are down to bare minimum. No cell phones. No cable. (we need internet for DHs school work, no library) one car (no public transportation).

 

Our foodstamps worker sucks and still hasn't accepted my pregnancy and we get $160 a month right now :( I want to rip my hair out.


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#90 of 133 Old 02-15-2012, 11:56 PM
 
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SS09- are you guys getting WIC?  You should be eligible for your DD and the pregnancy package.  Thats ALOT of food, even if you and the kids have food allergies your DH can eat the stuff.  WIC now has veggies, grains, as well as the usual dairy and beans/PB and juice.

 

You need to kick some sense into your DES case worker.  I would be calling over there every friggin day until I got someone on the phone!


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