I'm scared we messed up financially. - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 19 Old 01-24-2012, 08:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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We had to put our house on the market because we got behind on our payments and could no longer afford it due to my husband's overtime hours being cut. We have a buyer but it's a short sale so we have no money coming back to us. Closing date is at the end of February. We are going back to renting. We found a very nice duplex in the area we want to be in which is very close to our current house. It's expensive ($1,500/mo.), but we went for it because it will be cheaper than our house and we will only have to pay for lights They take care of everything else including lawn work. We based what we could afford on my husband getting a promotion at his job. His boss already told him last month that he is getting this but they are having to fire the guy that is in the position right now. We thought for sure my husband would be in this position by now, but it keeps taking longer because of all the "red tape" that goes into firing someone. Now we find out that they may have to go through the motions of interviewing people even though they already know they are giving the position to my husband. Who knows how long this will take. We are supposed to be moving into this place in two weeks. Based on my husband's salary right now, I just don't see how we will afford it. And to be completely honest, after the promotion it's not like we will be living large. We can afford the monthly rent but won't have a whole lot to put towards savings and debt. We went for it, though, because we wanted to stay in this area and not have to move out to the suburbs. I stay at home with our 7 year old and I homeschool. Public school is totally not an option where we live. The school district is close to losing their school accreditation because they are so bad. We have gotten rid of everything we possibly can, including home phone and netflix. I currently am enrolled in school to be a health coach, but that is costing $200 a month so I am going to have to drop out of that. We live in a semi-suburbia neighborhood that is very close the city, and that is also where this new duplex will be. This is where our life is, including friends, family, hubby's work and where we shop for local and organic food (which is just not in the suburbs around here. No Trader Joe's or Whole Foods out there.) I just don't know if we should call up the landlord and confess that we don't think we can afford this place, even though we gave a $1,400 deposit and signed a lease. I would feel so bad for them. They are super cool people that actually live a few houses down from the duplex. We have already "connected" with them.

 

We just found out today that my friend's house (out in the burbs) is for rent for only $900 a month. It's 3 bed 2 bath, which is more than enough for me and my hubby and daughter, but it is in the suburbs in a very boring (and a bit run down) neighborhood. Her house is nice but not updated and completely not my style.

 

I'm desperate for opinions. I think we may be too far into this duplex to even contemplate doing anything different, but I'm so stressed out and anxious and needing advice. My husband feels stressed too and is not sure what to do.

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#2 of 19 Old 01-24-2012, 09:03 PM
 
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If it were me, I would seriously consider trying to get out of the lease on the duplex.  I know that it's in the area you prefer, but there are too many if's attached to it... if the man at your DH's work is fired, if they actually give your DH the promotion, if you can afford the $1500/mth rent even with the promotion.  If things are tight now, and you suspect they'll continue to be tight if you rent the duplex, even with the promotion, then you are asking for trouble.  All it would take is one unexpected emergency, like a car breaking down, etc. to push you over the financial edge.  Talk to the landlord of the duplex and explain the situation.  Let them know that you want to avoid putting them or you in a difficult situation by taking on more than you can afford.  If I were a landlord, I would be far more lenient w/ someone who helped me avoid future hassles than w/ someone who misled me into believing they could afford the rent and then were forced to move out before the lease was up.

 

Homeschooling gives you flexibility.  You aren't choosing the duplex because of the schools, but rather because of the friends, shopping, etc.  So how about if you move somewhere less expensive, but plan to go back to the old neighborhood once a week for shopping and catching up w/ friends?

 

As far as the house not being updated or your style... it's not like you're buying the house.  Make it homey, perhaps paint or do other easy improvements.  Then save up every cent you can and set a goal of getting back into your dream neighborhood/home.

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#3 of 19 Old 01-24-2012, 10:51 PM
 
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I would investigate this other house that is for rent. The $900 house.  Do you need to pay utilities on that house?  What is electric, water, garbage, is there a HOA?  You need to compare apples to apples.   The $600 savings can add up really fast.  

 

What about the townhouse.  What would the rent be if YOU paid the utilities?  What does the landlord foresee the electric, gas, water etc being every  month?

 

I never make decision on what income 'might be' or what 'could happen'.  I make them on what is right now.  You DH has a job that pays X per month.  You need to budget based on that amount.


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#4 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 05:59 AM - Thread Starter
 
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After talking to my friend about her house, she talked to her husband and the rent will be $950, not $900. The two utilities we would have to pay in this house that we wouldn't in the duplex is water and gas. So that would basically raise the rent to $1,125. So now we are talking a different of $375 between the two places. Not sure it's worth it. The cheaper house is 20 minutes away from everything we do and it is not near as big and updated. The duplex was just updated with SS appliances and a new, very large two-car garage. The house has a small one car garage with white appliances that a little older. But I also realize when money is tight $375 is a lot.

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#5 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 08:14 AM
 
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I agree, you need to budget with real money not possible money. If you move into the lower cost home, the soon to be promotion and that extra money can go towards saving for a move another year - even if that sucks.  $375 is worth the consideration, but its still a lot when things are tight.

 

What other factors can be considered? Gas for commuting - where is the 950$ place in relation the daily drive to work versus the 1500 place. Setting up a new home always costs a bit of money; deposits to the heating company, set up fees for phone, etc. How is the renting market in your area?  Maybe the landlord of the 1500 can lower the price for a bit? Its stressful living with a tight budget, since you are selling your house due to late payments, moving to the 950 house will offer less financial stress, you know. HOw about a part-time job for yourself, to cover the 400 / mth?

 

Depending where your husband works, it could take a long time to fire someone - employees sometimes have more rights then the employer and therefor cannot be fired (even if they show up late to work, under achieve, etc). Some large companies dont fire, they move people around. And a promotion, same thing. Sounds like they have to make the position public, regardless of whether they already know who they want to fill the position.  All this makes it hard to know when the promotion will happen and when the extra money will roll in.

 

Good luck with your final decision.

 

 

 


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#6 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 12:55 PM
 
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Ditto, work with real money not possible money. You may not like it but you should make at least 2.5 times the rent (3x better), anything above that is just out of your price range. You make not like where you can afford to live but unless you want to put your son in school and get a job then you have to accept the lifestyle to which you can afford which sounds like it doesn't include the stuff you have now.


Seriously?
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#7 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 01:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Satori, actually if we did that formula than we could afford the duplex. We bring home almost 3 times the cost of the rent, but we have a $350/mo car payment and a $500/mo child support payment on top of the other bills. The good thing is that the child support payments will be done in 9 months.

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#8 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 01:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamagrigsby View Post

Satori, actually if we did that formula than we could afford the duplex. We bring home almost 3 times the cost of the rent, but we have a $350/mo car payment and a $500/mo child support payment on top of the other bills. The good thing is that the child support payments will be done in 9 months.



ok let me rephrase that since thats not something we deal with I didn't think about it. Minus the c/s and the car payment then calculate it.


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#9 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 03:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Just got off the phone with my friend with more details of the house. They have their house on the market but can't sell it so have decided to rent it out, but they are still keeping it on the market. They said something about still trying to sell it while we are in the house and that is where she lost me. I didn't really understand what the heck she was talking about, but she said something about it would just be new owners if they sold and we would work something out with the new owners. huh? My husband said no way, and I agree. I don't want to get in there and then for some reason have to move. It just didn't sound like a sound thing to me. They need someone to either buy the house or do a lease to purchase. So, I guess we are moving into the duplex. I was actually just offered a part time job today, although it won't bring in much at all, but every little bit helps. We feel like after finding out more of the details on the house and being offered a part time job, those were signs to move forward with the duplex.

 

Thanks so much for the all feedback and advice. I LOVE this community of women on here.

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#10 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 04:12 PM
 
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I think if you're worried about being able to afford your bills, whether a place has white or stainless steel appliances should be moot point.

I'd live in the less convenient, less fancy, but equally SAFE cheaper place and put the money I save towards paying off my debt.

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#11 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 04:40 PM
 
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FWIW I lived in a place with SS appliances and hated them.  The SS is a b!tch to keep clean.  New or updated does not always mean better.   Also supporting a child does not end when child support ends.  I certainly hope you don't stop supporting your child on their 18th birthday/graduation date.


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#12 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 04:59 PM
 
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Originally Posted by zebra15 View Post

FWIW I lived in a place with SS appliances and hated them.  The SS is a b!tch to keep clean.  New or updated does not always mean better.   Also supporting a child does not end when child support ends.  I certainly hope you don't stop supporting your child on their 18th birthday/graduation date.



truedat.gif


Seriously?
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#13 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 06:10 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Zebra15...I realize that supporting a child does not "end" when the $500 a month stops being paid. Thank you, but I don't think that was necessary for you to throw that in. We support my husband's daughter above and beyond the monthly payment, both monetary and emotionally and in any other way you support your child.  I have a 20 year old son, so I think I know how it works!!! And we won't stop "supporting" her or any of our other children when they turns 18. We just won't have that obligated large payment each month. I certainly don't give my son who just moved out a few months that kind of money each month. He works and supports himself.

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#14 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 06:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamagrigsby View Post

Satori, actually if we did that formula than we could afford the duplex. We bring home almost 3 times the cost of the rent, but we have a $350/mo car payment and a $500/mo child support payment on top of the other bills. The good thing is that the child support payments will be done in 9 months.



That flat out says you will stop paying c/s when the child turns 18. Love or paying for sports or what ever will not put a roof over the childs head or food on the table. You might want to double check things, support usually continues as long as the child is in school and that includes college in many places.


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#15 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 06:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ladies, I'm sorry if my child support statement rubbed some of you the wrong way. My intention was to come on here and get advice about which house to move into and which was the smarter decision. This is totally going in a direction that could get "tense" and I don't want to go there.

 

Again, thanks for all your comments. I really do take it all into consideration in making decisions and find them very helpful.

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#16 of 19 Old 01-25-2012, 07:42 PM
 
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The smartest decision is the one you can afford on the salary you have right now.


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#17 of 19 Old 01-30-2012, 12:30 AM
 
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meh. sometimes you just have to go for it. my suggestion was to get a part time job (i see that you already updated and said you were offered one) to help cover the expenses. i wouldn't count on the promotion until your dh actually brings home the bigger paycheck, but that's just me. i can see easily getting burned in that situation.

 

and yeah, kinda touchy on the child support thing. i wasn't asking my parents for money at 18. shrug.gif


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#18 of 19 Old 02-03-2012, 04:37 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mamagrigsby View Post

Just got off the phone with my friend with more details of the house. They have their house on the market but can't sell it so have decided to rent it out, but they are still keeping it on the market. They said something about still trying to sell it while we are in the house and that is where she lost me. I didn't really understand what the heck she was talking about, but she said something about it would just be new owners if they sold and we would work something out with the new owners. huh? My husband said no way, and I agree. I don't want to get in there and then for some reason have to move. It just didn't sound like a sound thing to me. They need someone to either buy the house or do a lease to purchase. So, I guess we are moving into the duplex. I was actually just offered a part time job today, although it won't bring in much at all, but every little bit helps. We feel like after finding out more of the details on the house and being offered a part time job, those were signs to move forward with the duplex.

 

Thanks so much for the all feedback and advice. I LOVE this community of women on here.



I've lived in a couple situations like this, they are a great short term solution, because you don't sign a set term lease, but yeah, it sucks to have to pick up and leave when the sale goes through.  

 

And I agree with budgeting for what you have now, not what you'll most likely have in the future.


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#19 of 19 Old 02-03-2012, 08:00 PM
 
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I wouldn't just go for it. You've already lost one home due to cuts at work. I would not sign a lease for another home based on what " may" happen at the same place that cut overtime hours. Stainless steel and an interesting neighborhood will still be there when you have the actual money to afford them. 

 

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