Morality of Frugality & Abundance... - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 03:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Hello...

I'm new here, so I am not sure how much background to share. ..

(I've decided to edit this post to delete personal info.

Thanks for your understanding.)

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#2 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 06:30 PM
 
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Is the morality issue regarding letting your friend live in your Section 8 house? I guess I'm a little confused.

 

Will your husband's family be upset if you leave their house so shortly after moving in? I understand not wanting to move again - esp. since you are just now settled, your daughter just started school, and the garden is flourishing...but...you risk losing your voucher. Something you've been waiting for for years. That would be worse than missing out on your garden (could you still go and harvest from the next town over?)  Seems awfully risky to let your friend use your voucher...esp since it probably is not transferable and esp bcs of the mj.  Seems too much to risk. I imagine you'd lose your voucher and never again be eligible for it.

 

I know it feels like you can't move again...but you can.  I moved the weekend I came home with a new baby.  We enlisted a lot of friends' help, but it can be done. And it would be worth it I think.

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#3 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 07:02 PM
 
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I agree with the pp.  Moving is a pain.  I've done it more times than I can count.  But I imagine you could be in serious trouble if you took the voucher and let your friend move in.


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#4 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 08:28 PM
 
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I would answer that is unethical to let your friend take the house just so you can accept the voucher.  Frustrating, I realize.  (I recently lost state-subsidized health insurance because of an inheritance and now I have to wait for 3-5 years to get back on.  So frustrating, especially since my income is actually down.)

 

I would ask how long this living situation is going to last.  You need to be able to plan for the future. It might take the guessing out of the situation.


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#5 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 08:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for your 2 cents guys...

I think I need to think harder about this.

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#6 of 12 Old 08-30-2012, 10:53 PM
 
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Seems to me that you should be able to use your sec 8 on the house you're in now. As long as they rent it to you for whatever rent limits you have why not? Then his folks would be getting rent for the house and you keep your sec 8. Win win!

 

edited to add that they inspect your home regularly so I wouldn't have others living there. Bad idea!


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#7 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 12:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It does seem win-win, except we are in a neighboring county, so hopefully that will still work!  I am going to call them and see if it's an option.

 

Thanks so much for your advice ladies!
 

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#8 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 01:51 AM
 
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The only thing is, our family is not planning to let us live in this house long-term.  They are going to sell the house at some point.

 

This would be the deciding factor to me. You can't count on being there long term, which means you will need the voucher.  Don't risk losing it!

 

If you take the section 8 voucher you could still wait to completely move in until after the baby comes. 


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#9 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 07:17 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sereneimago View Post

or have the voucher pay for our current house (which would be giving money to people who don't need it, my husband's family, since the rent would be going to them)

If this is indeed an option, I'd do this. The money is not going to 'people who don't need it' -- it's going to your landlord, aka your inlaws. The landlords aren't the ones the vouchers are given to, it's given to the residents. If they don't want the extra money perhaps they would be happy to gift it to you in some way, maybe save it in an account for when you move out & need a bit extra.

I would absolutely not use the voucher for your friend, unless for some strange reason the gov't is OK with that. If you lie to them about this, it may ruin your chances of ever being eligible for that kind of help again (not to mention the morality of it).

I think you need to set aside the moral issue for a moment and look at the facts, rules, and laws. And I don't believe it is moral to break rules about assistance -- that ultimately has a negative effect on everyone else who may need to rely on assistance too. To me, your only options are, accept the voucher & find a way YOU can use it to pay for YOUR housing (whether or not that includes moving), or pass on the voucher and put your name on the waiting list again.

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#10 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 11:22 AM
 
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I am also used to abundant frugal poverty, so I get where you're coming from.  And I think you're generous to want to share with your friend.  However badly I feel for her daughter though, I wouldn't end up doing so because of a) the legal part and b) the mj part.  I'm not anti-mj in theory but the whole harvesting-for-a-month thing threw me a bit and it doesn't sound smart.  Unless she needs it for a medical reason (in which case I would hope that she could get a license or move to where she could?) I don't ever agree with choosing to smoke if it compromises your child's well-being or resources...  So while I'm not going to judge her, I'm sure she has good qualities since you care about her, I would be hesitant to help out someone in such a big way if they're smoking recreationally.  (If it was just really light use like once or twice a month I doubt it would raise such huge flags for you?)

 

Anyway, yeah, I would use the voucher to get a nice space somewhere and wait to fully move in until after the baby is born, to lessen the stress on you - and finish harvesting that great garden.  Unless, of course, you can get your in-laws paid and then if they have to sell the house you could easily transfer to a new place.  Are there any difficulties transferring the voucher if that happened?

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#11 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 06:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks for the advice everyone.  I am going to have to not feel guilty about receiving help and let go of the desire to help my friend until our own family situation is fully solid...

 

Have you ever wondered if babies have their own "abundance angels" or something like that?  It seems like when babies come into your life, it's natural to be worried about money but then everything sort of comes together and comes to fruition and works out for the greater good and there is Abundance... especially for around the time the baby is born...

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#12 of 12 Old 08-31-2012, 11:51 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sereneimago View Post

 

 

Have you ever wondered if babies have their own "abundance angels" or something like that?  It seems like when babies come into your life, it's natural to be worried about money but then everything sort of comes together and comes to fruition and works out for the greater good and there is Abundance... especially for around the time the baby is born...

I've always felt that that is Gods gift for caring for his child!


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