Music Lessons! - Ugh! - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 06:36 AM - Thread Starter
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So I am in a pretty solid place, no debt, savings...etc.


My youngest son will be turning 6 next month. he's been enchanted with guitar since he was really little. I have vids of him strumming a guitar with a "binky" sticking out of his mouth when he was under 2. hehehe....

After taking him to a local store he decided he is even more in love with bass...but I told him he needed to learn on a regular "little" guitar before we bought him a bass ;)


My youngest has always been really independent and does his own thing and will sit and entertain himself for hours even as a baby. My older son (9 in jan) however has always needed reassurance, constant praise...etc. Since putting him on ADD meds his schoolwork has gone from "barely passing" to "top of the class" and he's gone from talking about what a stupid head he is to actually feeling some pride in work.


He still goes bonkers whenever anyone praises his brother and demands praise for himself. Lil guy you could praise his brother for an hour and he wouldn't notice. hehhee....


So of COURSE if I sign up my younger son for lessons, the older one NEEDS them too. Honestly I'd rather try and get him into karate as it seems like something that would really help with his ADD.

The store we were in however require 4 lessons per month (seems standard) and weekends work best for us because really there isn't much time between picking up the kids, homework, dinner and bedtime already....but alas the ex has them half the weekends.

They said "oh, you can just do 2 lessons on the weekends" but thats pushing it with 2 little kids I think, and will end up costing me 240/mth.

I technically HAVE the money, but it would seriously cut into my savings and put me behind on my 3yr plan :(


But I wanted guitar lessons from the time *I* was about 5 until I gave up asking as a teenager...where my sister got piano, guitar, and oboe....all of which she gave up. Sadly I am the audiophile and she really isn't into music all that much.

So I really want to encourage them to learn music if they are interested...



ARRGGGHH....what to do!!


I did email a local guitar teacher, my older wanted drums but also really liked playing guitar. I asked if he wouldn't be willing to do them both together for an hour, or seperate for 30, only 2x a month. his prices are already hopefully I can make that workout. 100-120 a month for both is a heck of a lot more reasonable than 240...esp when I suspect it'll be money wasted when it comes to my older son (I hate to say it, and I hope i'm wrong!)

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#2 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 06:40 AM - Thread Starter
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Tell me this isn't the cutest thing EVER (he still insists that he needs a little bass guitar. hahhaa)



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#3 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 10:24 AM
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Very cute picture...hes a natural!


Typical music lessons are once a week. 4 seems overkill, but we have never done guitar so maybe that is different. Personally, I think once a week is good. More then that, makes it difficult to get to . If they practice 4 times a week and one lesson a week. Every two weeks, I know my child would get behind if we only went bi weekly (too many days would go by without practicing) What if the older son picks a different instrument for lessons - piano, violin, horn? Learning to read music is suppose to be very good for a kids brain/development.


If you want some comparison numbers, I pay 20$ / lesson for 30 mins. Violin. She says once she gets her masters, she will up the price to 25 (25 - 35 is what I lot of other violin instructors are charging in the area)

Sara - Mum to C (10/02) ; m/c 10/07; 7/08; 3/09; Lucy Olive Feb 28, 2010 !
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#4 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 10:35 AM - Thread Starter
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Err....4x a month. sorry...I was multitasking as usual ;)

Right now with me picking them up around 530, going home and getting dinner/homework/etc done and in bed by 8 is difficult. so I can't see doing a M-F lesson. Ex has them 2 weekends a month, so I can do sat or sun, but only twice a month.


I figure if he sticks with it, and is learning, then more frequent lessons when he's older will be in the plan, but at 5/6? hes playing and learning building blocks. I'd LOVE to do them every sat or sun, but no way in heck ex will agree to even bringing them (I've fought that battle before. he refused to take son to "meet the teacher" night last year because he had them. he offered to let me drive an hour down, then back to school, and back i'd have to drive 4hrs just for him to meet his teacher for 10 min. thanks dude)


Older son wanted to do drums, but also liked playing with guitar. I don't see him sticking with music at all tho, but Quinn has always been REALLY into music, esp guitar. Plus that kid has more focus than a roomful of nasa geeks.


I'd like to push older son into karate...but he's very ambivolent/wishy washy about everything. music included. but he'll be in an uproar if his brother got lessons and was praised and he wasn't.

Quinn lost his first tooth last week and had sharkteeth going on. baby tooth wouldn't rock backwards so I wrenched it forward and took some serious oompf to break it's roots. *I* was flinching. I praised him saying what a tough guy he was, and elder immediately jumped in and said "what about me momma? I was brave too! I lost 8 teeth now! mom! mom! I was brave too right?"

when I said yes he was, but this was about quinn and he'd lost his first tooth and I was proud of him just like I was proud of Corran when he lost his first tooth....

He slumped back and pouted for the next 5 min until I dropped them off.


this happens EVERYTIME.

I could shoot off rockets and skywrite and have a marching band for the eldest, but if I say "good job quinn!" all the sudden its like i've killed his kitty cat or something. Poor kid. I feel like I must be doing something wrong, but I think it's just how he is. I just have to be careful and not neglect praising his brother just because it seems to bother Corran....he deserves praise too!

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#5 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 04:53 PM
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Why don't you let your older son decide for himself? If he *thinks* he just has to do music because that is what little bro is doing, then go for it and see what happens. Maybe he will hate it and decide to go for karate instead. Maybe he will flourish and it will be the best thing for him. Maybe it will segway into another instrument, like the keyboard. Then they can start a band hehe smile.gif Have you looked around for other music teachers? Sometimes you can find independent teachers who will do it for cheaper or with less commitment requirements. If you don't let him at least try, if he says he wants to, and you put him in something else instead, then he may grow to resent whatever he is in and/or resent his brother's musical achievements (thinking "I could have been that good too if they had let me!"). That is my thought at least, based on how you described his "jealousy" of his little brother when being praised.

Proud Mama to Abigail Noelle and Brady Phoenix (August 29, 2009) and Claire Zoe (October 26, 2010)  love.gif
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#6 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 06:39 PM
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I personally think it would be WAY better for you to convince older son to do something NOT music related to take any possible element of competition out of it.  Too bad it's not the other way around and you could just tell younger one he's not old enough yet ;) (that's what I'm doing with mine!)  For another comparison price, my DD takes violin once a week for $30/half hour lesson.  She takes from a private teacher who is a friend of mine.  I am super lucky to have my parents paying for it, though, as there's NO way I could afford it.  They say they'll also pay for my DS to take music lessons when he wants to (I'm sure he'll pick drums when given the chance), but I just can't logistically figure that out right now, so I'm using the age thing as an excuse for now ;)

Single mama to DD 10/18/03 and DS 9/15/05 

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#7 of 7 Old 11-12-2012, 07:05 PM
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Just FYI- karate lessons are not cheap and it's usually a one hour 2-3 times a week commitment. A private studio in my area runs $80-120/mo for lessons. If your lucky your community center will have a decent affordable program. My son is naturally talented in karate and has been training for 2 years. My daughter decided she also wanted to do karate but she only stuck with it for a few months. Now she's on to dance lessons. Its okay with me because she's a kid and she has plenty of time to find her nitch or maybe she just likes trying a lot of different things. If I were you I would keep looking a teacher willing to work with your schedule and I'd let my oldest child decide for himself what he wants to do. Maybe he'll like it or maybe not but at least he gets to find out for himself. You might want to try posting or calling a university in your area with a music program. I bet you could find a student willing to work with you.

Kate~ Mama to two.
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