2014 Low Income Support Thread - Page 42 - Mothering Forums

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#1231 of 1260 Old 11-18-2014, 03:09 PM
 
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Why are toddler shoes so expensive?!

I got the scary mommy card, but I've never used a prepaid credit card before... The fees makes me a little nervous. Do I cancel it after using the money on it...?

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#1232 of 1260 Old 11-18-2014, 03:28 PM
 
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I THINK when u are gifted a prepaid card you just use it like a gc and u wont encrue fees unless you decide to reload it. Ive never done scarymommy specifically tho.
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#1233 of 1260 Old 11-18-2014, 03:43 PM
 
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Why are toddler shoes so expensive?!

I got the scary mommy card, but I've never used a prepaid credit card before... The fees makes me a little nervous. Do I cancel it after using the money on it...?
no worries. You won't get any fees. Once you use it all just throw it away, We had one last year and didn't have any problems.
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#1234 of 1260 Old 11-18-2014, 04:54 PM
 
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Sillysapling - Yep, just use it until the balance is zero, then toss. Or I tend to stick them in my drawer to use for messy pan scrapers

Just got a disconnect for the electric bill here. Due by Friday. Nearly at a disconnect on the water bill. Going to go to the one place in town that will see me with an expired ID, and hopefully they have funding. Fingers crossed that they might help me cover a new ID too. I get paid Friday hopefully, but the $$$ is already gone for other bills that can't wait.

Gratefuls:
~Warmer weather for the next week, so hopefully no need for heat
~So incredibly blessed by a family who has adopted us for the holidays on another message board. I was in tears last night as they got me a much needed item as a gift. I'm going to try to keep from opening it until Christmas & wrap it for under the tree.
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#1235 of 1260 Old 11-18-2014, 11:50 PM
 
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I'm having a pretty emotional evening here. I took my clients to a homeless shelter tonight. A mom with two kids.There was no real alternative. It is a family shelter; mostly women with children. I have never been inside a place like that before. I don't know what to feel. So sad for all those mothers and kids. Grateful for my home and family. Angry at our society that allows this. Helpless that I can't fix it. Guilty that I can't invite my clients to my home. Even sadder that they will still probably not be stable over the holidays.

Just need some time to sort it out I guess.
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#1236 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 07:28 AM
 
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I'm having a pretty emotional evening here. I took my clients to a homeless shelter tonight. A mom with two kids.There was no real alternative. It is a family shelter; mostly women with children. I have never been inside a place like that before. I don't know what to feel. So sad for all those mothers and kids. Grateful for my home and family. Angry at our society that allows this. Helpless that I can't fix it. Guilty that I can't invite my clients to my home. Even sadder that they will still probably not be stable over the holidays.

Just need some time to sort it out I guess.
Sorry mamarhu, our society is so odd sometimes, it is so sad things like this even happen but at least there is a shelter for them to stay at vs the streets. I have been in a shelter once but never actually interacted with the people there as i was there for a conference.

SAHM to DS 8, DSD 6, DD 3 and DSD 3. Happily in love with my Superman!
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#1237 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 01:55 PM
 
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I can only imagine your mix of feelings, mamarhu.

Im having a rough day. I know a chunk of it is hormonal but that doesnt help much. Ive decided I really need to try to move for my mental health. I dont think we are quite financially ready to own but we could rent something new. The area we are in is isolating, and the apt is just falling apart. Insulation sucks, kitchen is falling apt, toilets constantly overflow, ac is always breaking and, while Ive almost won the battle, tje roaches arent completely gone. (they did a half ass bombing job and didnt do other apts around me. But borax seems to be doing the trick).
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#1238 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 01:57 PM
 
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Hit reply too soon. I dont want to seem completeky ungrateful. Im sitting in warmth, I have food for my belly and healthy kids. Temporary setbacks. I will be okay.
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#1239 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 05:17 PM
 
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I'm toast. Just lost my decent gig selling sweaters, at least for a while. Probably for good - the gal who runs that business is pregant with twins & scaling back.

I've got a bunch of cc debt from trying to get ahead on this sweater gig that I was trying to deal with, bills up the wazoo, and no other decent income. Property taxes that gotta be paid or they take the house.

What the f am I going to do?

I still have ebay, but it's not been good lately. And without funds to buy stuff to sell, it'll dry up too.
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#1240 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 06:16 PM
 
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I'm so sorry everyone is having such a rough time. I found a different job, gave my 2 weeks. My boss decided to let me go without pay a week early just to be spiteful. No pay for a whole week...sigh
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#1241 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 06:33 PM
 
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frugalmama, can you get back into section 8 and try to short sale the house? Hugs.
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#1242 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 07:11 PM
 
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frugalmama, can you get back into section 8 and try to short sale the house? Hugs.
I might could sell the house {it's paid for}, but it wouldn't gain us any big savings & it would mean tearing dd away from her 2 best friends {she doesn't make friends easily}. The lowest rent here is $50 a month on section 8, regardless of income. My taxes are about $800 a year, so about $67 a month but unlike rent I can slide them if needed. Here on section 8 if you don't pay rent by the 7th, you are automatically evicted on the 14th. Factor in the costs of moving since I don't drive, and I'm probably ahead to stay here. I might save on home upkeep, but honestly I've started to become pretty handy at fixing stuff around here lol.


I'm starting to calm down from my initial panic. I have one last sweater check coming in Friday. With it, I'll pay my credit card payments, the last of the past due property taxes, and for dd's bed {pretty sure I can sell her old one for close to the same cost}. Then I'm going to go renew my ID so I can get help with the bills from more places. I'm going to ramp back up ebay this weekend, and really hit up the rebates on checkout51, savingstar, and ibotta every week from here out. I think I can do $50 a month in rebates between those 3 sites - maybe more. After I get this years past due property taxes paid, then I just need to start worrying about next years. But it's not a super huge hurry, as long as I get the school part {about $300} paid before June, I can set the county part up on a payment plan like I did this year. Not great, but not terrible. As long as I manage to make between $150 and $280 a month, I can get everything covered. I was doing $50 to $100 on ebay - I can do higher, I just need to work harder at it & target what I'm buying to sell into things that sell higher. I'm probably going to have to do a lot of aid places for a while though on bills & non-food stamp stuff.
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#1243 of 1260 Old 11-19-2014, 10:24 PM
 
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Is there any other ways to bring income in? Babysitting? House cleaning? Selling coupons even? Anything crafty? Have you looked into phone service jobs you can do from home, or surveys? Mystery shopping?
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#1244 of 1260 Old 11-20-2014, 04:22 PM
 
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Finally got the first five pounds of pecans all cracked and sorted. Filled two mason jars for snacking, couple bags in the freezer, and the leftovers go in the brownies Im making tonight
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#1245 of 1260 Old 11-20-2014, 05:35 PM - Thread Starter
 
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might make GF brownies and frosting tonight or tomorrow. cold here (50's at night) and the oven seems to help.

still feeling unexcited about the holidays. blah

Mom to J and never-ending , 0/2014 items decluttered, 0/52 crafts crafts completed  crochetsmilie.gif homeschool.gif  reading.gif  modifiedartist.gif

Seeking zen in 2014.  Working on journaling and finding peace this year.  Spending my free time taking J to swimteam

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#1246 of 1260 Old 11-20-2014, 05:57 PM
 
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If anyone here is interested in an informal holiday helper program post your support here:

Holiday Helper 2014

If people are interested they are going to make a holiday helper forum and let an informal program self manage itself.
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#1247 of 1260 Old 11-22-2014, 11:09 AM
 
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On my lunch at work. I HATE working weekends. It's possibly the most depressing thing ever. I can't ever have a life or do anything with my kids working weekends.
Gratefuls:
-my kids and i made plans to make a big thanksgiving feast next Saturday since i work thanksgiving. We are shopping for the stuff this coming week. I'm excited to cook with them.
-heating assistance. It was 18 degrees when i left for work at 630am.
-my ex is buying our youngest her winter jacket this year. She outgrew the old one and I was worried about affording another.
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#1248 of 1260 Old 11-22-2014, 11:12 AM
 
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My stupid phone won't let me scroll down once i finish the page. I'm typing blind.
Gratefuls:
In payment for watering their plants and feeding their cat this week while they are gone, my parents didn't ask me to pay them for daycare. It's an extra $25 in my pocket!
-working thanksgiving sucks. Hard. But it's $22 an hour.
-I've got my security deposit saved already for dec15 for the move. A little worried about getting help for it but at least the finances are settled.
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#1249 of 1260 Old 11-22-2014, 11:24 AM
 
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I didnt know you were moving justmama! Oh, to move. I have to wait til tax time.

Going to a bday today for a friends kiddo. Got the present long ago, free food for kids and birthday cake, so a cheap outting. Then off to wm. and home for housecleaning. My glamourous life. This is hubbys only day off until wed. due to thanksgiving.
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#1250 of 1260 Old 11-23-2014, 09:44 AM
 
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I think i told you happyhats. It's that 3 bedroom in my complex that they offered me. Only problem is, i work the weekend i have to move. How the heck do i manage that? I hate this job.
Just got told today that I'm working tomorrow. Thought i had it off. Have no sitter for the morning. This should be interesting. No idea what I'm going to do. I've been here 3 months so i don't have any sick time or time off. Plus my youngest is sick ans wheezing. I don't know if she's going to school.
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#1251 of 1260 Old 11-23-2014, 12:43 PM
 
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Did you? Im a space cadet. That third bedroom will be nice. Moving and working around it is always so hard. I wish I lived closer, Id help ya.

Hubby had to leave almost three hours early today for work since he has to open the plant. Its gotten warmer so less need for heat but its gloomy so Im not feeling productive. The roaches seem to be returning and now mgmt doesnt want to spray again. We got traps and spray to go with the borax. Im going ti sprinkle borax in all my vents bc we are prety sure they are migrating from other apts. Fuuuuuun.
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#1252 of 1260 Old Yesterday, 05:25 PM
 
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In a really bad spot with housing still but now have a move out date for current house. Freaking out big time and can not imagine this working out as we are in such a bad place. Have to go to SS and see if there is any help there. I feel I am shutting down and that is not a good thing.
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#1253 of 1260 Old Today, 04:10 AM
 
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I'm in a really bad place right now with all this. This month has been horrifically expensive. I hate the holidays. I hate Christmas so much, I don't want to spend anything on my partner and I don't want my partner to spend anything on me. We got one thing for our toddler that I'm really happy about, I wish we could leave it at that. So sick of spending money.

Getting to the point that we need to apply for food stamps. I desperately don't want to and feel like a failure.

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#1254 of 1260 Old Today, 04:20 AM
 
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I'm in a really bad place right now with all this. This month has been horrifically expensive. I hate the holidays. I hate Christmas so much, I don't want to spend anything on my partner and I don't want my partner to spend anything on me. We got one thing for our toddler that I'm really happy about, I wish we could leave it at that. So sick of spending money.

Getting to the point that we need to apply for food stamps. I desperately don't want to and feel like a failure.
Can you just leave it like that? I know I've struggled the same way. Then I realized I was just trying to follow the standards society sets up for celebrating this holiday. Several years ago I stopped doing what was expected (somewhat ) and started to do what I wanted. My kids didn't even notice! Your LO is really little and just wants your time and attention. Can you make a new tradition that works for you family?

Also, as for food stamps. I applied September 15th and am still waiting for a decision. I'd encourage you to apply sooner than later because it seems slow and disorganized and you'll spend lots of time on the phone!

And yes, the holidays stink but know you aren't alone in that opinion. And the more of us who do what we want, not what is expected, the easier it is for others to do the same.

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#1255 of 1260 Old Today, 05:31 AM
 
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Can you just leave it like that? I know I've struggled the same way. Then I realized I was just trying to follow the standards society sets up for celebrating this holiday. Several years ago I stopped doing what was expected (somewhat ) and started to do what I wanted. My kids didn't even notice! Your LO is really little and just wants your time and attention. Can you make a new tradition that works for you family?
I would love that- so, so much. That would be ideal for me. The problem is my partner and this always turns into a giant fight. I have tried so hard- I have repeatedly pointed out that we could wait for the after-Christmas sales when all the decorations go on super clearance toget things for next year, or even have a late Christmas (I work retail so I'll likely be working Christmas anyways).

I didn't want to do anything for my birthday, but DP kept fussing. We practically fought over the fact that I didn't want anything for my birthday! What we ended up doing was really to make DP feel good for having done something for me. The gift I finally agreed to was incredibly practical that I would be spending money on anyways. And maybe it's not fair- but I really resent that I'm expected to spend money on frivolous crap for DP. They want to go to see, like, 3 movies for their birthday. That's something like $70. On top of gifts.

I haven't even gotten around to pointing out that the @$@# game DP just had to get was their birthday present, because I know that'll be another fight, but it's just not fair.

Last year was horrific, I talked about it somewhere on this forum. ILs gave us $700 to use for Christmas. DP insisted we follow this demand. Can you imagine that? Being on food stamps, welfare, having mounting debt, having to spend $2500 on car repairs, and spending $700 on crap. I was livid. I was so angry with DP for insisting we do it. I was so angry at my ILs for doing something so horrible- they're poor, it's not like they're super wealthy and think $700 is nothing. It wasn't easy for them to get the money together, and I get that they thought they were doing something "nice" and letting us "treat ourselves"- but @$#@#$#@% $700?! For things we didn't even want! We ran out of things we actually wanted and started just throwing money away on crap. I think there's only one thing I got last year that I was actually happy with.

You want to know what would've been a much nicer Christmas present? The financial security of having a few extra hundred dollars in the bank!
And, no, I didn't just let it happen- we spent the entire month fighting about it, straight up to Christmas Eve. I was very clear my stance on this, but at some point I only have so much I can do. DP had the money, not me, and DP has a credit card and access to bank accounts.

Our lives are so stressful right now that constantly fighting over Christmas and birthdays is just hell. It doesn't help that my birthday is November and DP's December so all three are clustered together in a giant cluster@#$2 of cost. And we do fight about it. A lot. Practically every time we go shopping for it it turns into a fight because I want to reign in hte spending and they wnat the perfect Martha Stewart Christmas. It's even worse now that I'm the only one making any money- it KILLS me to see my pay check disappear so quickly and I can't help but resent that I'm the one working and they're the one spending so willy-nilly.

Quote:
Also, as for food stamps. I applied September 15th and am still waiting for a decision. I'd encourage you to apply sooner than later because it seems slow and disorganized and you'll spend lots of time on the phone!
I really don't want to. I live in a state where if you have more than $2k, you don't qualify for food stamps. We tend to teeter around the line, and if we manage to scrounge enough to save some more, then we're back to square one. I know that a lot of people in this situation just keep their money in cash and, um, "stretch the truth" about how much they have in savings (not millionaires- but if you want to save up for a security deposit on a new apartemnt or just to have a safety net, then you don't qualify for food stamps). There are some social workers who off the record tell people they should do that and then apply 2 weeks later. But I'm not comfortable doing that.

The people at DSS are also very snotty and when I applied for kiddo's medicaid, I had to sit through a giant lecture. I'm not in the mood for it right now. I've applied for every freaking job I can get my hands on, so has DP. It's ridiculous.

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#1256 of 1260 Old Today, 09:31 AM
 
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Red lentils are great for cheap meals. I often made a soup from red lentils, canned tomatoes, onions, garlic, black pepper and salt when I was in college. Serve with some plain yogurt or let an egg cook with the soup in order to get something like an egg poached in the soup. You can also use the same soup as a pasta sauce if you like if you make it thicker. You can add any spice to it and get different tastes. If you have the basic soup you can add curry powder, coriander, cumin, chili or different herbs (not all at once though) and get different feels to it (Indian, French, Italian or just spicy. You can also add any root vegetable to it or potatoes and make variations in all eternity.
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#1257 of 1260 Old Today, 10:21 AM
 
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And we do fight about it. A lot.
That is what is probably the hardest part I imagine. I feel very fortunate that my spouse and I are on the same page when it comes to money. Is he happy to go into (or increase) your debt?

My MIL has been giving us money the past few years to buy the kids birthday, christmas gifts and we usually put about 1/4 of it toward a gift and the rest goes into the general budget. And the "gift" is usually an activity we would have done anyway (rock climbing, bowling, etc.)

I'm lucky to live in a state where we can have savings. We have 18-24 months of an income so low we can't pay our mortgage (only on month 3), but we knew it was coming and have about $30k set aside to help get us through (and a heloc for another $100K that I really don't want to touch). From what I've seen it looks like we are eligible for food stamps that would, in essence, increase our income by 50%!

Me.  With 1 spouse, 4 kids, 16 chickens, 74 matchbox cars, 968,562+ legos, a dishwasher waiting to be emptied, a washing machine waiting to be filled and a lost cup of tea in the house.

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#1258 of 1260 Old Today, 03:56 PM
 
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Reviewing finances and doing annual credit card checks. Hey, good news! A bank might be willing to lend me money sometime around 2020! Woot!

Check out my radio blog, Pagan Musings.
I'm a head-covering witchy mama to DS ('06) and DD ('10) with DH, Stormie, a Heathen breadwinning daddy.
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#1259 of 1260 Old Today, 06:13 PM
 
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cinnamon applesauce ornaments with the kiddos. My home smells heavenly. Texted hubby about any last minute turkey day needs. Tomorrow we are going to set up tables and cook turkey so we dont have to get up at dawn thursday.

Ive decided once and for all that Im moving this spring. Now Im just asking myself whether I should rent or buy. We would qualify for an fha loan and/or a usda loan with 0% down. We do have some debt though. Having debt makes me hesitant to take on homeownership. But anything worth renting is a good couple hundred more than a mortgage.
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#1260 of 1260 Old Today, 09:06 PM
 
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Is he happy to go into (or increase) your debt?
See, that's the thing- we won't. We've never gotten to a 0 balance in our accounts and DP's not so irresponsible as to let us. The problem is we aren't on the same page in terms of savings. To DP it's "We have the money and it'll make us happy, we've been through so much crap that we deserve a little happiness" to me it's "Momentary happiness isn't worth destroying our chances at long-term happiness".

And there are a lot of reasons that both of us agree on to want to shore up our savings, which is part of why it's so frustrating. It's not like there's something I personally want and DP is resentful that I'm refusing to let them get what they want.

There are quite a few things requiring saving that DP wants more than me, leading to a few fights ending in "If you want it so bad, get a @#$#@ job!". (which I know isn't fair- DP's been applying for months with nothing working out, and I'm not able to get a better job, but it really hurts to have someone complaining that they want to spend all the money you make AND they want to save up more money!)

Quote:
I'm lucky to live in a state where we can have savings. We have 18-24 months of an income so low we can't pay our mortgage (only on month 3), but we knew it was coming and have about $30k set aside to help get us through (and a heloc for another $100K that I really don't want to touch). From what I've seen it looks like we are eligible for food stamps that would, in essence, increase our income by 50%!
Same- food stamps would be a huge boon. It'd easily be about 50% of our income. But the savings requirement just shoots us in the foot. Food stamps would let us save up enough to have a reasonable safety net, but with the way the state works we'd basically be in a situation where, in a few months, we'd be over the saving limit and get booted off food stamps and in a few more months our savings would dwindle and we'd be back on it. Ridiculous.

*sighs* I'm facing that I'm just going to have to get over myself and apply for it, though. Part of it is that it's really hurting my pride. I was okay with being on it when we were in college because we "knew" it was temporary and as soon as we'd graduate at least one of us would get a position that paid us a living wage and we'd be able to support ourselves. Now.... it sucks. :|

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