We're a mix here. Basically I take care of all the money/budgeting and bills because DH either goes super tight or super spendy.
On payday I pay the bills out of his account that need paying, then I leave him a "beer allowance" based on how much he's making. When ends were right I gave him $20 cash a week. When times aren't tough I leave him a decent amount for two weeks in his account. I don't care what he spends it on. Whether it be food or beer or the kids or the family. I just assume it's gone like another bill. If he wants to save it he can or he can spend it all.
Then I transfer the rest of the money to a joint account. Our "bank" has no bank fees so we have multiple accounts in this one. A day to day savings where I keep our two week budget. A midterm savings when we need to buy new furniture or Christmas or such. This is also attached to a on emergency Line of Credit which is (hopefully) usually paid off. When it's paid off I can put money in there above and beyond to save. And then we have a longer term savings. This is a "high interest" account.
DH has access to these via his online account but he knows not to touch anything but the day to day savings without asking. And the Day to day is for groceries or incidentals or small gifts over the course of the two weeks.
Then I have an account that he can't access (mainly because he forgets the log in
). This has my debit account attached. As well as a savings account for our rental house and an account which I put all of the automatic withdrawal bills into.
I also keep a certain amount of emergency cash hidden around the house. It drives DH nuts because he always wants cash last minute but I won't give it to him and he can never find it
it's not that hard to drive to the drive up bank machine
Now there are times he sees the money in the account growing and wants to spend. And depending on what it is I usually give in or I say "can we think about it". A couple hundred splurge on the kids for their birthday if it was something they really needed/would use... Ok. $500 just because we had it and he wanted to spoil them? No.
I try to not "say no" to him very often. He works hard and I don't work outside the house. But we spent many years juggling bills and scraping by so I definitely don't want to go wild either. You have to find a way for both of you to compromise. Save and spend responsibly. You canmt take it with you and you have to have a little fun. But you can't blow it all now either...