I've never stopped being frugal, getting by on less than ideal, etc. But as I sit here sipping my last mug of maple cocoa (because the maple syrup has just run out) and thinking of what might be in the pantry/freezer that I could mix with rice for dinner and call it a meal, I think it's time for me to hang out here again for a bit.
Maple cocoa is my treat to myself, just maple + cocoa powder + water, and without it I feel deprived. Too bad -- payday isn't until next Wed. One week from now.
One of my New Years resolutions is to change my language around money or lack thereof (at least around the kids, but also in my head), and change my attitude about it, and change the way I perceive my relationship with it.
I always, always, always feel like we don't have enough money. And in some ways it is true -- we run out or get very close to running out before the next check comes. I am constantly contriving bridges to get us through until the next opportunity to re-organize the priorities and pay some things (and put off paying some different things than last time, to keep everyone happy).
I know the routines. I know to set money aside each month, but I don't, because there always seems to be something pressing -- either a need, or a guilt because I have owed someone for too long. I even have two very small credit cards, which I ran up in a panic when something felt it couldn't wait, and now I'm sitting on them until I can pay them down. (Not this month, not next month, but hopefully the month after that...sound familiar to anyone?)
I wonder sometimes if I just can't keep money in the bank because of the relationship I have with it and maybe because of how I was imprinted by my parents' relationship with money. I worry that my kids will end up being like this because they learned it from me. I want to change that.
We have enough, which is a blessing and I know it's more than many people have. We can make ends meet, usually, barely, if you count the debt I carry, and the payment plans with understanding organization where the kids take classes and do activities, and the times I have to ask one person or another to hold a check until X day before they cash it, or the friends I owe where I technically need to pay them this month, but I mail it on the last day of the month so it comes out of next month's checks, or all the times I shop the day before the check is deposited knowing that my grocery payment won't clear for at least a day, or the many months I've been putting off my own routine dental work (which at this point is likely more than just routine). So that really isn't making ends meet, is it? It's not comfortable.
I hate saying no to my kids; I hate saying something will have to wait until next month; I hate saying "make do without for awhile" if it's something they actually really need. They are undemanding kids who do not have entitled expectations; they are thrilled with hand-me-downs or a new pair of shoes or gloves when needed. They don't expect much at Xmas and are as happy giving each other gifts as receiving something. They don't ask for stuff they don't need.
Anyway, I guess I just have to get this all out somewhere.
I am not going to lie to my kids, and neither am I going to keep them in the dark about the realities, but I want to stop presenting it as a negative or a regret or a crisis, and instead present it all as a positive or a blessing and totally workable.
So once again, I'm here to be reminded of all the ways I could tighten up just a tiny bit. Thanks in advance.
I spent too much at Xmas. I thought my plan was modest, but I guess I miscalculated, and then I just didn't care and spent it anyway. I mean, my kids' big gift was new water bottles. It wasn't like I bought them ipods. But still.
Normally I do a deep dive into my spending records and habits over New Years, and make a complete budget for the coming year. This year I spent that time working on college applications and financial aid forms for my son, and my own spending got pushed to the side, and time ran out.
Time to make time for that, I guess. Time is as short as money around here.
I'm glad you are all still here. It's been a long time. I look forward to being inspired by you.
Maple cocoa is my treat to myself, just maple + cocoa powder + water, and without it I feel deprived. Too bad -- payday isn't until next Wed. One week from now.
One of my New Years resolutions is to change my language around money or lack thereof (at least around the kids, but also in my head), and change my attitude about it, and change the way I perceive my relationship with it.
I always, always, always feel like we don't have enough money. And in some ways it is true -- we run out or get very close to running out before the next check comes. I am constantly contriving bridges to get us through until the next opportunity to re-organize the priorities and pay some things (and put off paying some different things than last time, to keep everyone happy).
I know the routines. I know to set money aside each month, but I don't, because there always seems to be something pressing -- either a need, or a guilt because I have owed someone for too long. I even have two very small credit cards, which I ran up in a panic when something felt it couldn't wait, and now I'm sitting on them until I can pay them down. (Not this month, not next month, but hopefully the month after that...sound familiar to anyone?)
I wonder sometimes if I just can't keep money in the bank because of the relationship I have with it and maybe because of how I was imprinted by my parents' relationship with money. I worry that my kids will end up being like this because they learned it from me. I want to change that.
We have enough, which is a blessing and I know it's more than many people have. We can make ends meet, usually, barely, if you count the debt I carry, and the payment plans with understanding organization where the kids take classes and do activities, and the times I have to ask one person or another to hold a check until X day before they cash it, or the friends I owe where I technically need to pay them this month, but I mail it on the last day of the month so it comes out of next month's checks, or all the times I shop the day before the check is deposited knowing that my grocery payment won't clear for at least a day, or the many months I've been putting off my own routine dental work (which at this point is likely more than just routine). So that really isn't making ends meet, is it? It's not comfortable.
I hate saying no to my kids; I hate saying something will have to wait until next month; I hate saying "make do without for awhile" if it's something they actually really need. They are undemanding kids who do not have entitled expectations; they are thrilled with hand-me-downs or a new pair of shoes or gloves when needed. They don't expect much at Xmas and are as happy giving each other gifts as receiving something. They don't ask for stuff they don't need.
Anyway, I guess I just have to get this all out somewhere.
I am not going to lie to my kids, and neither am I going to keep them in the dark about the realities, but I want to stop presenting it as a negative or a regret or a crisis, and instead present it all as a positive or a blessing and totally workable.
So once again, I'm here to be reminded of all the ways I could tighten up just a tiny bit. Thanks in advance.
I spent too much at Xmas. I thought my plan was modest, but I guess I miscalculated, and then I just didn't care and spent it anyway. I mean, my kids' big gift was new water bottles. It wasn't like I bought them ipods. But still.
Normally I do a deep dive into my spending records and habits over New Years, and make a complete budget for the coming year. This year I spent that time working on college applications and financial aid forms for my son, and my own spending got pushed to the side, and time ran out.
Time to make time for that, I guess. Time is as short as money around here.
I'm glad you are all still here. It's been a long time. I look forward to being inspired by you.