getting out of debt (7/8) - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 07-20-2004, 07:49 PM
 
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I agree too that there is nothing wrong with focusing on saving money. If I had done that from the start I wouldnt have even been in the predicament that I was a month ago! LOL

Good idea about the vacuum.....I never thought of that, I am going to look for a place like that (my long hair kills all our vaccuums).

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Old 07-20-2004, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by LizD

Why make the trade? Because no one is taking our house- we can sell it at an enormous profit even with paying off the loan and mortgage. And it is not a loan, it is a line of credit, which makes it just as "safe" as a credit card.

But it's still a "line of credit" guaranteed with your house. If, for some unforeseen reason, you were not able to pay it off, would anything you bought with that credit card be worth your house? I'm not saying this is going to happen to you, but I'm just saying that, in general, it's not a good idea. OF COURSE no one gets a home equity loan (or line of credit) with the idea of foreclosure! But it happens.

My MIL got a home equity loan to pay off credit cards, then racked the cards back up again and had to declare bankruptcy anyway. That's a more common scenario than the one you are in.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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Old 07-20-2004, 09:45 PM
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Originally Posted by PikkuMyy
We used some of it to pay off CCs, some of it ($6,000) to pay for my BIL's gifted school tuition because his mother won't pay for it and FIL is broke, and he'd been going to the school for 2 years already and loved it so much, actually had FRIENDS for the first time in his life, etc.,

You know, Suze Orman (financial guru) states, "People first, then money, then things."

I think helping your BIL definitely fits the "people first" definition. That was nice of you.

"Our task is not to see the future, but to enable it."
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Old 07-21-2004, 12:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by A&A
You know, Suze Orman (financial guru) states, "People first, then money, then things."

I think helping your BIL definitely fits the "people first" definition. That was nice of you.

I'm glad to hear that - yes, we would do it again in an instant - it was definitely worth it. This year, we can't do it again, and FIL is still broke, but the people who run the small school love BIL so much, they're letting him go there for the half-scholarship he gets, and don't expect any more money. Yes, there are people out there like that!

Well, today we went to the used bookstore because I wanted to get Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. I found it (used hardcover - $15) and in the past wouldn't have batted an eyelash especially because we traded in several boxes of books we'd gotten at library sales for credit. But DH found a bunch of $1 books he could sell on Amazon, so I put the book back, had him use the credit for those books, and will get the book out from the library on Thursday, even though I really wanted to read it tonight. So I saved $15.

We ate our leftovers for lunch instead of going out to eat like DH wanted to do. And after the bookstore, I was thirsty and almost bought a Vitamin Water for $1.59. I thought, "No, I'm thirsty - I'll get a $.79 bottle of water.)

So keeping this stuff in mind can make a difference. In total, we saved about $36 today, plus when we went to the grocery store (no farmer's market today), we only bought exactly what we needed for tonight.

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Old 07-21-2004, 01:06 AM
 
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Good for you Pikkumyy!! Those little things really do add up quickly, don't they?

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Old 07-21-2004, 01:23 AM
 
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So I just went and sent that $36 (plus an extra 15) to the home equity loan. I gotta start adding up what I've saved each day and doing that.

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Old 07-21-2004, 10:02 AM
 
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Focusing on frugality is important to me, b/c 2 of my biggest fears are dying tomorrow, paying off debt would take a third of my life insurance , and my kids getting into debt someday b/c I am not teaching them about money.

I agree with the idea of buying quality used items whenever possible (not underwear though :LOL). I have finally learned that even if it doesn't save you much money, many things should be bought used in the spirit of reduce/reuse/recycle. Last year I bought my kids a little tykes 8-1 playground thingy. I looked on ebay first, but they were selling for almost as much as new when you factored in shipping, so I bought a new one . So now, that's one more enormous plastic toy that will be in the landfill one day . I have found that I can buy quality clothes used as well and they last.

OOO- someone mentioned getting rid of voice mail and getting a cheap answering machine- that's my goal today- off to ebay to look for an answering machine

I am glad we are all here supporting each other in getting out of debt, I love to hear about people taking the money they "saved" each day and immediately putting it toward debt .

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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Old 07-21-2004, 12:27 PM
 
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I agree with LizD to a point. Quality of life is important. But the way I see it, my mistakes (and DH's) got us into this mess, and having to give up some of the things we're used to is just part of the responsibility of paying off debt. Also, I look at it in both the short-term, and the long-term. Short-term "low quality of life" is doable, and again, I feel it is part of being responsible for our actions.

In the short term, I'm going with the cheapest stuff I can get, so we can get out of debt. We have a sucky $20 vaccuum that takes twice as long to clean our house as a really nice one. But we paid cash for it, and would have had to charge it if we'd wanted a more powerful one, so I don't regret it. It probably won't last much longer (which is fine b/c we are moving anyways) but now my mother is giving us one of hers (she had two, but is downsizing to a condo) which may be as old as I am but it is super powerful and still works just fine. So, problem solved and we didn't add to our debt.

As for the kids, I can't emphasize enough the benefits of a library. You can always have tons of books around for FREE. I used to be an avid book buyer, but now we do the library, and what's neat is that some of the books I read turn out to be ones I didn't like enough to want to own. Those I do, I add to my future wish list. At least I got to read them, and can buy them later. And for DD, she is always surrounded by books, again for FREE (and then there are garage sales, library sales - we got three shopping bags FULL of kids books for $1/bag - SCORE! and it doesn't matter if she rips up the pages, etc)...

DD turned 2 last week and we didn't buy her a birthday present (what does she know?). Instead we had a party (just me, DH, and her). We decorated our house with balloons, streamers (after she went to bed - the next morning she was delighted!), baked a cake, lit the candles, etc...All of those supplies and stuff cost us about $10 and she had the time of her life!

We have shit furniture, mostly b/c we move alot and it's just too expensive to move stuff. But we can't really afford nice, new stuff anyways. But guess what? Turned out to be the best thing ever b/c kids are hard on furniture. I"m not concerned about yogurt spilled on the sofa, and DD can eat her yogut in peace without being "confined" to the dining table (which we don't own, so it's moot, lol). DD has alot of freedom to be a kid and have accidents - things get scratched, spilled on, leaked on, etc....and we don't stress out about it AT ALL. Gawd, I tell ya that is worth it's weight in gold! When the kids are older we can enjoy getting good, quality stuff that will last. I used to obsess about having nice furniture, but that was the consumerist in me getting sucked in by all those lovely Pottery Barn catalogs, lol. I now realize that it's simply not a priority right now, and that in itself is liberating b/c I don't have to be depressed that we couldn't afford new furniture anyways, even if I wanted it.

Besides, when I first moved to Ohio (back when I was single and fresh outta grad school) I spent about $2000 (all credit cards!) to furnish my new apartment. I was so convinced that I "deserved" nice furniture, that life was too short to have ugly furniture, used stuff, etc....well, I realized two things.

First, it's just furniture, and after a while the novelty wears off..but not the credit card payments! Second, we ended up basically giving away most of it when I got married and moved to Boston, because moving is SO expensive and it simply wasn't worth the money to move it all.

Here's my big tip for the day that really helps me with big purchases:

Imagine you have the cash to buy your big purchase (in other words, imagine I had $2000 in cash when I got to Cleveland)...would I have been willing to blow it all on furniture? uh....NO!! I could immediately think of better ways to spend that money, or put it to good use. But because I financed my furniture, I somehow justified it. It didn't feel like cash being taken out of my pocket.

Not sure if that makes sense, but I just find that if I imagine someone giving me the cash value of whatever big purchase I want to make, I can usually find something else I'd rather do with the money.

Okay, that's my long babble for today!

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Old 07-21-2004, 12:31 PM
 
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Can I play the Debt Reduction Game with you?

My husband is a full time student and his stipend covers our mortgage (barely). Everything else comes from my highly sporadic income - I work freelance business information analysis and might work crazy for six weeks and then nothing for four months. So things are always up and down around here!

Other than our mortgage we have my student loans and one car payment. I've been agitating to get rid of the car payment and having my husband use our beater car for school (I'd still have a decent car for kid ferrying), but he won't hear of it. My student loans are considerable but we've just consolidated for a lower interest rate and a longer term (that we're hoping not to use). We try to pay off our cards every month but occasionally carry a couple hundred into a month or two -not often if we can help it.

Not spending is an everyday challenge for me. With two kids, one of them always needs something (although the baby is still wearing gifted things - she's 5 months - the day is coming when I'll have to buy her clothes too!) - right now my son needs PJs. We have just got an infestation of pantry moths, so there's $20 in traps and we've decided to home school for kindergarten so there's $50 in materials and books. And then there's....well, whatever, it all adds up!

I've learned a lot from you all - hopefully I'll be able to add to the discussion, as well.
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Old 07-21-2004, 12:53 PM
 
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LizD - This thread is to help us all get out of debt, and while your comments were interesting, if being debt-free is NOT your goal, I'm not sure how we can be of help to you... But if we can, let us know! Quality of life IS crucial, but having fancy new shoes or staying in an expensive hotel in Paris or buying a brand new car are not quality of life enhancers. Are we going to think about our new pair of rhinestone encrusted Manolos on our deathbeds? Part of frugality and simple living is finding out what's really important to you (family? art? literature? nature? among many, many others things), apart from the stuff that is shoved down out throats in our consumerist culture. Would you rather go sofa shopping and spend $2,000 hard earned dollars, or garden? My life is simple now to the point that shopping is no longer fun, which I consider a good thing. There are a bazillion other things I'd rather be doing...

All of us here probably have fewer life choices as a result of the debt hanging over our heads. If my mortgage was paid off, I prolly wouldn't have to keep my HSSJ (that's "horrible soul sucking job"). If the mortgage was paid off, dh could think more concretely about retiring (he's turning 50 this year). My SIL just went to Italy for nine weeks this summer, and expects to pay off the trip OVER THE NEXT FIVE YEARS. Ouch! And every day of her life she complains about her HSSJ. My parents took us to France when we were younger and could pay for it. They saved $$$ and then we went.

Regarding vacuum cleaners? My mom got us an electrolux from the 1940s at a garage sale for $15. We replaced the hose for $20 and it works great! Good quality ones are out there.

Piglet: Oh the power of cash... Many financial advisors recommend paying cash, because it feels harder to make big purchases. A friend had a great idea: all money should be in dollar bills. When you went out to buy the new Lexus, you have to count out many, many dollars, to the point that it would be super annoying. I love that.

Last night I tried to pry out of dh what his dreams in life were. We ended up having an intense, dramatic conversation last night about how he's resigned that his dreams are dead and he'll have to work forever... I have to hold all our hope for both of us right now. Paying off the mortgage and putting money away will help...
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Old 07-21-2004, 01:10 PM
 
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Originally Posted by bamboogrrrl
Last night I tried to pry out of dh what his dreams in life were. We ended up having an intense, dramatic conversation last night about how he's resigned that his dreams are dead and he'll have to work forever... I have to hold all our hope for both of us right now. Paying off the mortgage and putting money away will help...
My dh's life dreams are to be able to afford to be a stay at home dad & homeschool or go to school and be a teacher/coach. I wanna finish my degree and get a masters in Urban Ecology.

So once he is working again we will be putting a bit less than planned toward debt and pay for a couple classes a semester. For him first, then me. Do it carefully and no more student loans.

I just got a mondo raise and promotion so we will continue to scrape by til he is employed again.

It's sad, if it wasn't for our "bad" debt we could comfortably live on my income. Ahhh, the excesses of youth.

My family of 3 (plus pup) Indigo (Aimee), Rob (dp), Ryne (ds) & Phebe (dog), plus my BIL's family of 3.

 
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Old 07-21-2004, 01:22 PM
 
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Yes- if it weren't for our bad debt, I could be living the frugal lifestyle and saving $20,000 for the kid's college over the next 2 years . That is what I will be doing with the money when the debts are paid, but it would be so much better for that cash to be going in now while they are still so young.

I put a ISO on the TP for an answering machine, ebay wasn't looking good.

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Old 07-21-2004, 02:09 PM
 
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I got our answering machine from Target, and it's one of the few things I have bought new. Only b/c every used one I found was the one with the mini-cassette tape in it. We paid around $20 and got the digital one. It rocks! No tape to break It's lasted us way longer than any $5 yard sale one we ever owned. Just a thought!

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Old 07-21-2004, 05:28 PM
 
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Here's what we're trying to do. We are cancelling our phone and internet (and keeping the cell phones b/c that would cost $150/phone to cancel). I'll just use the internet at my parents' house. We've lowered our car payment and I think we're going to look into cheaper car insurance. I think I'm going to check into cheaper health insurance. So far we're saving us about $70/month. I'm also wanting us to lower grocery bills. I don't buy pre-made stuff or organic so I don't know why it's so high but I'm really going to watch it. I also think we're about to start trying to grow some of our own fruits and veggies in a container garden (we rent). We really want to buy a house soon but we're trying to fix our credit and get bills in order. I'm still debating about taking a second job. It wouldn't really give us a whole lot more a month but would help some. I really have appreciated reading everyone's comments and stories on here. I'm learning a lot. It stinks to be in this situation but it's nice to have people to share with and learn from who aren't judging us for being in this situation.
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Old 07-21-2004, 05:51 PM
 
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So frustrated! :

Earlier today I made my first post to this thread and this afternoon I got the mail and found a late notice for our mortgage! Not sure why it's late - the money should have been available so I'll have to talk to my husband about it when he gets home tonight.

I'm more inclined to worry about these things, but his attitude is "God will provide". I'm always telling him God likes to provide but He still wants us to pay our bills! So now we've got to get to the bottom of what's going on. We had another late notice last Friday but he swore it was paid and settled. And here we are again. I don't want to be mistrustful or always checking up on him but there's a limit to how much stress I can take, you know?
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Old 07-21-2004, 06:34 PM
 
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Things are going much better here. I am glad I'm figuring this stuff out. We're still going to be paycheck to paycheck for a while, but there are a lot of expenses I have been able to cut out. I shop so much differently, only buy whats on sale and use those coupons! I save at least 30 a week on groceries. I have cut the cable TV, but we still have cable internet (downgraded to the lower speed) and I'm looking into DSL because that might be cheaper yet. I'm debating on the phones now, DH and I both have cells and I just can't give them up, its the only way to get a hold of him at work. But I'm afriad to cut the land line in case we have another black out or something like last summer, the land line is the only thing that worked since the cell towers had no power.

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Old 07-21-2004, 07:21 PM
 
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Saving via selecting various types of phones over others is a really complex topic, isn't it? Right now we pay about $120 for cell service (we have a "family plan" which covers both my husband's and my phones). I'd love to cut it out, but you never know when a client or prospective client might call so it's hard to take that leap. The savings would be nice, but what would it cost us in the long run? We're in the same boat re: our DSL as well - I NEED the internet to work, as all of my clients are in other states. My husband wanted to upgrade our 8 year old fax machine (uses thermal paper!) and I said no way. As long as the one we have works that's what we're staying with!

We don't have any kind of pay television so I'm really, really focusing on getting rid of one of our three cars. It'll hurt my husband terribly since he's a real car enthusiast. He does all our maintenance and repairs, which saves a bundle but there's still the matter of licensing and insurance and that adds up fast - especially in Virginia where we pay a biannual tax on the value of our cars.
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Old 07-22-2004, 02:01 AM
 
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Look on ebay for "AT&T digital answering machine" in items and descriptions. lots for really cheap. I used to have one of these for years and loved it. My dad still uses it 4 years later.

I just bid on one for only $5 - you can easily download any missing manuals from AT&T online. I'm sure I"ll win the one I bid on, so I already did it.

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Old 07-22-2004, 03:36 AM
 
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Right now we pay about $120 for cell service (we have a "family plan" which covers both my husband's and my phones)
You might check out Verizon.......DH and I have the verizon family share plan and its only 55 a month for BOTH of us. We never even use 1/4th of our minutes either. Its like 4000 weekend and night, 1000 mobile to mobile (any verizon person), and 250 weekday or something like that. I think its a pretty good deal.

I have cable internet but I need it cause I have an online business and its something I NEED, imo. LOL I could do dial up, but I might shoot myself in the foot and that wouldnt be good either. LOL

I did do something frugal today......I needed 2 really big pictures for my walls but they are super expensive so I went and bought 2 canvases and some paint for 1/4th of the cost of what 1 big picture would be and I am going to make my own.

I have a bread machine coming from the TP too.....whole wheat organic bread here is over 3.50 a loaf! I can make my own for WAY cheaper!

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Old 07-22-2004, 09:27 AM
 
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PikkuMyy-

Thanks for the suggestion- the only cheap ones I saw when browsing ebay yesterday were "not guaranteed to work" which didn't seem so frugal to me :LOL, or high shipping. I ended up buying one from the TP for $8 shipping included, it doesn't record an outgoing message- it just says in that weirdo voice "Leave your message after the tone", hey- that works for me .

Went to the beach yesterday to meet a couple of MDC mamas, thought about heading to the dollar store first as I was taking 3 kids (infant not included) and only have one bucket, one shovel and a couple of water squirters, I was going to pick up 2 more buckets and shovels, I decided not to and the kids had a blast, they borrowed a watering can from one of the other kids for a while, but otherwise amused themselves quite well without the stuff I felt they needed.

When driving to the beacch we went past a fair/field days going on here in the city, the boy I babysit had gone the night before with his dad, he was telling my kids in the car how much fun it was, etc. As we drove I started thinking if I should ask dh about going ourselves, but fairs are expensive, the admission alone and the ride tickets and junk food. I thought it through and realized my kids would be just as happy to go to the park up the street, and after all, they hadn't said, "Can we go to that fair mommy?" My parents camp near a place that has a purpetual fair that is for little guys like mine (small rides and such) and my parents always like to take the kids there, so that will satisfy that very well. I hate feeling like they are suffering at all for this lack of money, but they enjoyed the park a bunch, and my 2 yo son would probably have been scared at the fair anyway.

So- I saved some good money yesterday- at least $2 by not going to the dollar store, and surely much more by skipping the fair.

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Old 07-22-2004, 12:22 PM
 
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way to go, Jess!

don't have much to report today. end of the month is drawing near, and so far so good. time is really flying by. I can't believe it will be August soon. Then we'll be moving, I'll be starting as SAHM...lots of big changes and a whole new budget scene!

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Old 07-22-2004, 02:16 PM - Thread Starter
 
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wtg on skipping the dollar store. BTW yogurt containers make good sand toys and you have to buy the plastic container when you buy the yogurt right? We have various sized ones and the bonus is that when they crack, float away or disappear altogether - no big deal.

the thing about the fair is -- to me that kinda thing is not terribly fun. I can get the idea of the rides, but how old are your kids? is that really more fun than the park or the little machine you might ride for a quarter outside the grocery store? I don't think you're depriving your kids of fun. Yes, if my kids asked about it, I'd consider it. But I might also say "maybe next year we'll save up our money together and go." meaning we'd put quarters together to help pay for it. Yes, I'm broke. But I'm also sick of the american idea that we can't have fun at things that don't cost money. (sorry little soapbox just because my IRL friends give me hard time cause i never want to meet anyplace that costs money).

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Old 07-23-2004, 11:56 AM
 
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I have to say that I am always gone so long that theres LOTS to read! Great Job Mommas! All of us are doing great! I have to say though it is true that you need to not focus so much on your debt that your not living today! That doesn't mean to go and finance the couch you've been lusting for but to remember that choosing a weekend to take your children to the fair or waterpark is FINE. IF its not on credit cards and you don't have nightmares and other bills aren't suffering! I remember once a year my parents would take us to Fun town. It is very expensive IMO. About twenty dollars a ticket. But you know the fun we had there was unforgettable and I remember and still look forward to every summer! (we still go! My mom doesn't pay for me anymore! LUCKY DUCK!!! :LOL ) I can't wait for my own daughter to be old enough to look forward to this annual event either! (She stays home this summer, maybe next summer! )
Now onto other topics.......My FIL bought a brand new truck and you can imagine what this does to my poor deprived husband! I have caught him several times drooling over trucks on the dodge website! I explained to him that next year he could have his truck as my car would be paid off. He got all upset and told me this is why I need to go to work..........When he does that I know that there is no use! Feb 2005 Two of the three useless debts will be GONE!!! Thats only SEVEN months away!!!! Then we just have my car left! WOOOO HOOOOO (keeping my eye on the prize!)
As far as the phone goes like I said we have Life line with verizon. Its ten dollars a month. Then we have Caller ID which is 7.50 That is obscene!!! I think I would like to go the answering machine route! Not that the seven bucks is going to go far but still why should the billion dollar phone company have it!
Well all the children are ready to play so I have to get going! : Its been fun reading all your comments though!
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Old 07-23-2004, 12:03 PM
 
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With our "missed" mortgage payment my husband swears up and down he made it and it should have been received. He spent about a half an hour on the phone with one bank or another and, in any case, I'm assured now that it's paid. I really, really, really don't want to take over the bill paying - mostly because I don't want him to think I don't trust him. I do, of course, but I think maybe we need more oversight that we're getting.

As for other spending, we're doing well. Still, we're heading out to our annual cheap beach vacation tomorrow and DH isn't going. I'm making sure that the fridge is stocked for him but I am concerned what I'll find when I return. He has a tendancy to each nothing but chips and pretzles he purchases while I'm gone.

When we return from the trip I have to face the possibility that I'll have to get a "real" job (instead of the WAH/SAH stuff I've been doing for the past three years). My husband's stipend will not be increased for the next two years and we have to face that fact. Still, I'm doing affirmations every day seeking wisdom to deal with money and family matters so we'll see what happens.
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Old 07-23-2004, 03:11 PM
 
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chalupamom- I hope you have a great trip!

Had a good day today, went to the mall to get free pics of ds #2 and I together done, did NOT buy any extra pictures either . The kids rode the carousel ($3 for the group), I brought lollipops for snack while we waited, and did not give into my impulse to buy hot pretzels or an ice cream (though we are having ice cream here at home after lunch- no one said we couldn't have ice cream, just that breyers at home is healthier and much cheaper).

My brother wants us to come down to visit him at the end of the summer, dh can't get any time off, and it's about a 7 hour drive, so I am going to have either my dad or sister go with me and the kids, we are going to take my dad's car, as my transmission is close to going, and well that would not be fun if we were 7 hours from home, so just the cost of gas, which in reality whoever goes with me will insist on paying for. My brother said there is a kids amusement park near him, and the week that we will be there they have $60 per car load special, so no cash for me to put out. This same brother is the one who held our car loan, he is now refusing to cash the checks, and says that they threw away the information on how much we owe (I know that we owed about $1500 more) but, anyway- he won't cash the checks, so I guess that $155 a month needs to go into savings for when the transmission finally gives out.

As our ebay business is getting better/more lucrative, my 6 month old ds has taken on a new personality, one where he needs to be held by me and only me, pretty much non-stop. This puts a hamper on my painting time, can't even do it when he sleeps, so---instead of worrying about how this is going to affect our getting out of debt-- I am going to just enjoy it- I may never have another baby- and I'll definitely never have THIS baby as a baby again- he needs me, and I need to be there for him, plus it gives me all kinds of time to nak and surf MDC while he sleeps in my arms. Instead of my $400 a month goal, I am going to paint when I can and let it be for a bit. The other night we went to the park, and I should've/could've stayed home painting while dh took the kids---but my life can't be all about getting out of debt- and I can feel good about going to the free park instead of the pricey fair, most importantly I took time with my family to have fun. (This is, I assume, the heart of the Your Money or Your Life book).

Ah ladies- thank you all so much again for helping me along this path, I am learning a lot here and getting so much inspiration, when I save money I think of how I can not only brag to Dh, but to come here and tell you ladies about it, oh- and the "not being judged" part, that's big too .

On the topic of judging, and I don't mean to be judgemental with this, but are any of you feeling particularly bad for people around you who haven't "gotten it" yet about debt? A few people I know are totally getting futher and further in debt every day, they don't really "see" it, I know they don't. Like one couple we know, they built a new house that they couldn't afford---ok, it's a house at least (the mom wants to be a SAHM, but says that they can't afford it and it breaks her heart), they are now spending lots of money on landscaping and just financed a new vehicle. I am not trying to be judgemental here, I am really not- I WAS there not too long ago myself, spending that way. I want to shake them, grab them by the shoulders and say "Stop now, before you get in to far! You have to stop!", But- it's not my place, they'll have to get here on their own I guess. Sadly, I know 2 couples who have filed for bankruptcy in the past and are back into debt in major ways (the aforementioned couple is one of them). I am so sad that they keep digging deeper- I care about these people and I want to see them get on track. Oh, I am rambling- it is not my place- I just wish there was some way I could tell them, help them get out of this while they still can.

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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Old 07-23-2004, 08:16 PM
 
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Originally Posted by jess7396
...instead of worrying about how this is going to affect our getting out of debt-- I am going to just enjoy it- I may never have another baby- and I'll definitely never have THIS baby as a baby again- he needs me, and I need to be there for him....
I love this!! Very, very true!! Trust me, my DD just turned 2 last week and I can't believe how fast it all goes!


Quote:
...are any of you feeling particularly bad for people around you who haven't "gotten it" yet about debt?
I think so...actually, I was just reading angel04345's post about her DH wanting a truck and feeling the very same thing! And I'm not trying to be judgemental either b/c that was me not long ago! Our car will be paid off in a couple of months and I really, really want a new one (a Mazda 6 Sport Wagon ) In my old life I would have said what angel said "when we pay off this car we can get another one"...but the fact is, I'm no longer comfortable going into debt for a car. So we'll have to wait until we have some windfall come in, start saving, and buy it when we can afford to pay cash! It's hard but...I just cannot fathom going into debt EVER AGAIN until we get a mortgage. And certainly not for a car!! (btw, angel, not picking on you...just your story rang home for me since I was all about financing new cars before).


Quote:
Like one couple we know, they built a new house that they couldn't afford---ok, it's a house at least (the mom wants to be a SAHM, but says that they can't afford it and it breaks her heart), they are now spending lots of money on landscaping and just financed a new vehicle....
Yup, when DD was born we decided to move back home for a while which meant DH giving up his very lucrative job (we were both SAHP for a while), but we were pretty much debt-free at that time and had a good savings built up so we did it. His friend was so jealous b/c he was basically tied to his job - they had financed alot of things and he was stuck with that. I felt really bad for him then, and now I do even more. Now, we did end up spending too much and got ourselves back into debt...but it needn't have been that way. So I look at debt as a big old chain around your neck, whereas being debt free gives you such freedom to do things!

It's amazing how I used to just look at "X dollars IN every month" and decide how many monthly payments I could do so I could buy a car, furniture, etc...I think so many people do this, never thinking their monthly income might change, or something might come up they didn't think of....I will never look at my montly income as something to "use up" each month, ever again!!

teapot2.GIF Homeschooling, Homesteading Mama to DD ('02) and DS ('04)  ribbonjigsaw.gif blogging.jpg homeschool.gif

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Old 07-24-2004, 11:32 AM - Thread Starter
 
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It's amazing how I used to just look at "X dollars IN every month" and decide how many monthly payments I could do so I could buy a car, furniture, etc...I think so many people do this, never thinking their monthly income might change, or something might come up they didn't think of....I will never look at my montly income as something to "use up" each month, ever again!!

me too. the thing that got me thinking was your post about how much extra money you'll have when you pay off your debt. to think -- i pay off my car and that's an EASY trip home...meaning no saving or cc payments to get there. 200 bucks in gas. done. i can see it now "helllllo grandma we're here for the free child entertaining"

i'm having a bit of a rough patch as it is time to work on winter clothes for the family. i plan on sewing up a bunch of stuff -- mostly because i *enjoy* sewing, it gives me a break from my life and I'd rather sew than head ot the mall to browse at stuff I don't particularly care for. why oh why don't they make girls clothes that are 1. reasonably priced, 2. good quality and 3. plain colored?

anyhow the rough patch is limiting myself when buying fabric to only things i can sew up before october.


umm and one big success ---> we usually borrow $$ for daycare and healthcare (recall i am a graduate student, working on a phd). this year i did my financial aid and budgeting and realized (a). we didn't borrow any $$ this summer and can still pay daycare/health care and (b). if i don't borrow that $$ then I don't have to pay it back. So...declined student loans. YAY ME!

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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Old 07-24-2004, 11:33 AM - Thread Starter
 
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and second big success -- ikea minneapolis has been open for about a month now and I have specifically stayed away. i've been telling my husband we can go and look, but i find lots of stuff i never knew i needed until i got there. so....i'm saving some $$ and when we reach 200 bucks we can go. i am hoping that my new debt reduction attitude will mean that much of that 200 bucks will still be in my pocket when we actually leave the store.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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Old 07-24-2004, 02:07 PM
 
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Its alright Piglet just pick on me! Well buying a new truck is a differant circumstance for us then others! My husband has car that books for around 11,000! It is a sports car and its paid off. Alicia can't ride in the car (her seat doesn't even safely fit, not to mention I would LOVE to have another child and rear facing isn't gonna happen!) So he may not get 11,000 for trade in value but more then the typical trade. Plus since its paid off we would solve two problems. One he would get a truck (he just wants that) that could go in the winter. Two he would be able to drive Ali somewhere! So my husband doesn't know this but we are going to have it looked at by a dealership and see what the value is that they are willing to trade on and then we will pick out a truck. We will pay the balance in cash. The reason we need to wait until my car is paid is that I can continue making my car payments to myself and then have that cash to pay that balance.
See I'm not a bone head afterall! I just have to appease him! I have been fighting a battle over me staying home with him since I started doing it nearly a year ago! Hes a consumerist BAD!!! I just squeeze as much as I can out of the family budget to appease him so he doesn't make me get a job! God help me I love him and I can appreciate his need for THINGS but I also look at my daughter and know that what I am doing is good for her and he can wait for the fancy things! (and trust me hes NOT deprived now!)
At any rate hopefully you didn't fall asleep reading this! :yawning: Plus I hope that you can now understand what I am doing a little better.......
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Old 07-24-2004, 06:11 PM
 
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hi mamas - i've been lurking around here looking for good ideas and learning a lot i just told my office that i'm cutting down to 60%, with one day from home, and i'm so excited about it. the downside is that my income is stable - dh is a student and waits tables so we have good and bad seasons with his work. we're moving into my mom's house so that we can afford everything but i really want to use some of the wisdom here to get ahead and continue getting us out of debt even with a lower monthly income. lots of thinking to do. we have two new cars (bought one when ds was born and the other when my husband crashed his a few months ago) and that's what i regret because our car payments are what are really trapping us.
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