Getting out of debt -GOOD- feb thread - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 94 Old 02-08-2005, 12:28 PM
 
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kerc- CONGRATS!!

Part of my work will be when dh is home. Part will be in the office after hours. Then the kids can be there and not hassle anyone. Dh works late 3 nights a week so we can tke turns with the kids. Plus, I"ll do some before they wake. THey usually get up aroun 9 and I try to get up at 7...maybe earlier if I need to. Plus, we have a basement that is totally playroom adn computer. So, the entire area is kid proof.

We get our return today!!! We're splitting it between bills but keeping out part for the downpayment on our house :LOL

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#62 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 12:57 AM
 
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I have some good news! I was worried about Nitara's formula that she's going to have to need very soon. It has more calories in it than baby formula/breastmilk so it can sustain her for years if necessary, as long as she's tube-fed. She can't take dairy proteins/lactose so Pediasure which is about $8/day to feed her, is out. The only alternative was a special formula that is hypoallergenic called Peptamen Jr. and it's $19/day to use that. It's used a lot for kids who have irritable bowel syndrome and other major health problems.

I tried blenderized diet and she vomited most of it back up again, so scrap that idea. I was so stressed about that since insurance may not cover it and we don't qualify for public aid at this point in time and I was not sure how we could pay out $600/month to feed our daughter. Well I just learned that Wal-Mart (which I normally boycott) has a new generic formula, Bright Beginnings pediatric drink, that is like Pediasure but it's soy-based. It's less than Pediasure. It would still be expensive to feed Nitara (about $7/day) but we could manage it if insurance won't pay for it.

Whew! What a huge relief!!!

Also dh works p/t at Target and was able to use that to pay more off the card this month. We are not in a huge amt. of dept but sometimes we don't have the extra cushion to pay off the debt.

There's a lot of stress on this thread so I wanted to share something positive.

Darshani

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#63 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 04:35 PM
 
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Hi I am going to join this thread after many months of avioding it and denying I have to get this all under control!

I am wondering...

I just paid all my monthly bills and I paid my visa bill so that I owe only 200 more dollars on it. Should I use our savings to pay it off now so we can start fresh? I have about 800 dollars in savings. at 2.5% interest whereas the Visa is 28.8 percent interest. Also I owe the furnature store $618 but it is 0 percent for 1 year if I make equal payments. Should I pay it all off or just do the equal payments?

I am confused. I just want to get these debts out of the way so we can start concentrating on saving and living and paying off our big debts (our car!)

thanks in advance!
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#64 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 04:44 PM
 
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Well finances hit the fan in our marriage this week. My DH is not very responsible when it comes to paying the bills or knowing where his paycheck is going if he is in control. About a year ago, he started giving me his paycheck and I became responsible for the bills. In November I requested that he sit down with me and look over the budget I had come up with and at least *know* and support where the money was going each month. We had some squabbles about money- but nothing major. I knew if he knew what was going on that he would hopefully be more at peace and supportive. I don't mind doing the bills and figuring out a budget. It is fun to me and I enjoy the feeling of paying towards a debt, knowing that we are not incurring any more debt in the meantime and hopefully ever! BUT... our talk about the budget never happened. I did ask him at least 3-4 times since AGAIN to sit down with me, it was very important to me, etc... Nicely, not nagging. In January I revamped the budget to the Dave Ramsey method of snowballing- and I was STOKED! Our bill to his exwife was getting paid off at a rapid pace, we had a $1000 emergency fund, something we have never had before, everything was paid in full on time, and we still had money left over for other wants and to pay off debt. I dove head first 100% into this system, requested that he sit down with me AGAIN to learn what was going on, and you can guess what happened. The talk never happened, but Boy oh boy did the mega fight break out- in the middle of Walmart- no less! Long story short, he was questioning me in a very MEAN way about where did his bonus go this month, why should he get excited about the DVD player I showed him since we don't have money in our budget, blah blah blah. Now all of these were valid points and questions- but the way he approached it and the fact that I have been practically begging him to sit down and look at the budget WITH me and go over it so he KNOWS what is going on- well it torked me off BIG TIME. I left for 3 days, came back home and he is working out of state and will be home tonight. He and I talked on the phone, lovingly, gave apologizes, etc... and agreed that this SUNDAY is our day to talk about the budget and hash this out so we both can agree on something. Phew, deep breath. I am pretty nervous about this talk- I want so badly to present my ideas and what I have been doing in a way that he will get as excited as me about seeing the light of NO DEBT in 3 years including our mortgage! Yes, we can't do the spontaneous go blow the extra paycheck in town like we used to do- but not doing that for a few years in order to do what we WANT later- is awesome to me. Has anyone else had to present a plan or been in a similar situation that might have some tips for me? I don't think he wants to "control" the money, I really just hope that him knowing and having the floor to suggest his feelings and ideas will give him peace of mind and then he will butt out again. LOL I think I am just nervous about him disagreeing with my ideas and what I have been paying extra on etc... and having this budget all uprooted and then who knows what.....


Wow, sorry I didn't mean to write a novel! LOL
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#65 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 05:00 PM
 
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westernskies- I just had 'the talk' with Dh about our finances as I am re-taking control of it. (you can see my thread in the forum somewhere)

He even agreed to turn off TV, the thing that had him really stoked was not paying off the debt, but that I budgeted a 20 dollar allowence that he didn't have to accout for at all every week. Even though he had been blowing probably more than that on random stuff, the fact that I could ask him about it made it as though it wasn't his money. SO I would strongly suggest this. I budgeted an equal amount for myself too..

I am no expert by any means but thats what got my DH excited lol

btw- thats awesome that you will have everything paid off in 3 years, you must be so excited. I tried a snowball calculator thing too.. but I don't really *get* it. I am going to do some more research!

good luck with 'the talk'.. just remember to smile! (always helps to sell a new idea!)
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#66 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 05:18 PM
 
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Bikruca - If I were you, I would pay off the credit card, and not use it again. That interest rate is soooo high! I would then save $1k in an emergency fund, and then pay off the furniture bills.

Western - That is so hard with your dh. Like you, I wanted my DH to be more involved with our journey toward debt-free-dom. But he's just not interested, while I am fascinated by financial issues, by the problem-solving part of getting out of debt. At least he's handed the financial responsibilities over to me, and I don't mind handling it. Once in a while, he'll sit down with me and do bills, so he can see where the $$ goes. Even if your DH is not 100% on board with your ideas, you can still pursue them. It took my DH a while to get on board, but now he's really impressed with how far we've come. They DO come around, they really do. I've heard it suggested that when you have a couples' money summit, to do it over something fun like dinner (sounds counterintuitive to savings $$$, I know), on neutral ground. Whether he joins you or not, don't let him "unstoke" on digging out of debt. It's a totally valiant goal, even if he's not ready to join you.

Money is such an explosive, taboo issue - I always stare in wonder at how open people are about things like sex, while money makes everyone clam up. Could you imagine this country if people were more open about money issues? There would be no more "keeping up with the Joneses" because everyone could see that the Joneses were mortgaged to the hilt and in debt up to their eyeballs.
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#67 of 94 Old 02-11-2005, 06:01 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bamboogrrrl
Bikruca - If I were you, I would pay off the credit card, and not use it again. That interest rate is soooo high! I would then save $1k in an emergency fund, and then pay off the furniture bills.
That is what I would do too!

:Patty :fireman Catholic, intactalactivist, co-sleeping, GDing, HSing, no-vax Mama to .........................:..........hale:
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#68 of 94 Old 02-12-2005, 11:22 AM - Thread Starter
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peppermint
That is what I would do too!
me three!



on meeting with the hubby re: finances. several ideas:
1. after the first big meeting meet more regularly for checkups. say weekly over coffee or something. that way it isn't a big hurdle and if something happens to you (sickness or whatever) you can say "hey honey. here's the checkbook write a check to x this month."

2. print your plan out onto paper. Some people (like me) really like to have something to look at every day....put it up on the fridge.

3. I'd institute a "wish list" policy. We have a wish list printed on the fridge most of the time. Every now and again it doesn't help to devote a little extra $$ to one of the wish list items -- for instance for christmas we received 200 bucks. I was all for spending 100 and putting 100 to debt. But dh has really wanted a bigger tv for about, oh, 5 years. So he agreed to put some birthday money (50 bucks) into the investment and we now have a bigger tv. we had to put in something like 20 bucks from common $$ to pay the sales tax. DH really likes to watch sports and occasionally to get together with his friends to watch sports. My wish list items are generally smaller, but it helps every now and again to give in to an item that's been on the list for a looong time.

4. I'd also suggest a 24 hr wait rule -- it eliminates the discussion in the middle of walmart. Any purchase over x dollars you have to wait a specified period of time....24 hrs, 48 hrs...whatever. It slows down the process and makes it less stress for both of you while actually in the store.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#69 of 94 Old 02-12-2005, 01:41 PM
 
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THANK YOU for the great suggestions! I am feeling a little better about our upcoming "talk..." I am going to print out the budget I have been doing and present it to him, and also suggest a slight tweak to the amount of personal money we are both getting=increasing it. In June after our new baby is born- we will have an additional $600 to put towards something too- which will help out. Right now that is the amount I am saving for our midwife, baby stuff, and travel to midwife appts. each month. I can see his viewpoint of, "Where is all the money going?" but I guess it really hurt me because all the money has been going to bills. I don't blow it on stuff or activities. I consider myself to be fairly frugal! I feed our family of 4 1/2 on $55 a week! And I give him credit- he does compliment me on my frugality at times, so hopefully if we can just stay on track and put the hurt aside- this meeting will be a turning point.

Thanks for letting me blabber in here! I feel better and I hope to have a positive post come Sunday evening
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#70 of 94 Old 02-12-2005, 09:01 PM
 
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westernskies... you have really made some great progress! start your talk with the positive. show him what you have done and where you are headed before you even bust out the budget. if he's impressed, then he'll want to see how you got there and be more on board. always coat the medicine with honey, right? so the positive things first will reel him in.

mamas, i need some help with money tracking. i have tried so many different ways and i really want just one whole month where we really track every penny. the notebook thing doesn't work. we've tried putting reciepts in an envelope, but its hard to get receipts for everything. i'm thinking about a chart on the fridge with space for each day... anyone have any brilliant suggestions? (or, not so brilliant, but useful!)

thanks...

I am a homeopath, offering acute and constitutional consultations for children, babies, and parents. Long-distance treatment is easy, either phone or skype! I also am certified to offer Homeoprophylaxis, a vaccine-alternative program. Message me for more details. www.concentrichealing.com
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#71 of 94 Old 02-13-2005, 12:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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suggestions: how about printing a paper calendar onto which you can write each transaction? We do quicken, but we don't track cash that way. I need a paper visual reminder so I write everything out onto a printed calendar I printed from ms word or something. I wrote out first the budgeted bills in pencil and change them as the $ amt slightly changes. I subtotal at the bottom --- food, mortgage, child care, care related, etc.

Quote:
"Where is all the money going?" but I guess it really hurt me because all the money has been going to bills
This is where I think having some kinda weekly check in makes it all less painful for everyone. Knowing how much $$ is coming and going can really make a difference. I mean dh would have been po'ed if I had sent all the tax return to something and he had no idea where i had spent it.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#72 of 94 Old 02-13-2005, 07:09 PM
 
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So, kerc, you just have a blank calendar up and then write in each day what was spent? do you then write next to it what it was for, like food, bills, etc...? that could work for us maybe.... it would be interesting to see what our daily totals are.

well, dh just called me on an impulse purchase. I was about to get dd a hanna andersson snowsuit onsale for the rest of this year and next. but, he's right. we dont' know how big she'll be next year, and tho we may get a lot more snow still this year, she isnt' out in it much and we have some great fleece patagonia bibs (that i bought resale for $10!) that are working fine. Instead, I satisfied my itch by getting her something she actually needs: new diapers. I bought some new, and 2 used and a new nighttime cover that will hopefully get us off the nighttime disposable use. ugh. sometimes its easy (to resist) and sometimes its hard....

I am a homeopath, offering acute and constitutional consultations for children, babies, and parents. Long-distance treatment is easy, either phone or skype! I also am certified to offer Homeoprophylaxis, a vaccine-alternative program. Message me for more details. www.concentrichealing.com
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#73 of 94 Old 02-13-2005, 11:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by newmainer
So, kerc, you just have a blank calendar up and then write in each day what was spent? do you then write next to it what it was for, like food, bills, etc...? that could work for us maybe.... it would be interesting to see what our daily totals are.

yeah. but I only total it weekly (and so I basically use the whole week to write stuff down). I write the store ("mt royal fine foods" (MRFF) is our grocery. I could that as 100% food. I buy stuff like cleaners at target so that's household. It is not a perfect system, but the computer and/or notebook systems didn't work for me. I also find that except for buying food at work I generally only spend money 1-2 days per week. Bills obviously I pay as they are due, but I only make purchases at stores 1-2 days per week.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#74 of 94 Old 02-14-2005, 02:50 PM
 
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Well I survived the big talk... It got a bit hairy in spots, but we managed to bring it back to topic and talk about the future, rather than what happened in the past. We have added some new categories to the budget, erased some, increased personal spending money, and allotted percentages to where extra money and bonus's go each month. He was pretty antisnowball at first (paying all extra money to 1 debt, then rolling that payment into the next debt) but I told him a story his mom had told me about when she and his dad were married and had to both dig out of their baggage 1st marriage debt. I didn't tell him that to make him change his mind, I actually suggested maybe he ask his parents what they did for advice to help us, but he told me it is the one thing that opened him up to the idea! (Thank you MIL!) We will try this new and improved budget for a few months and see how it works.
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#75 of 94 Old 02-14-2005, 04:41 PM
 
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Westernskies: You go grrrl! It can take a while for spendy dhs to come around, but yours will, especially when he sees the fruits of this labor. Congrats!
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#76 of 94 Old 02-14-2005, 10:39 PM
 
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Just have to say, we have been in the red for a few months, getting behind on everything...we just sold my car, that eliminates a $240/ month payment, eliminates $70/month insurance too. We are using the money from that to get caught up, and then our tax refund will be our "buffer". Not having a buffer is what got us in trouble in the 1st place.
So...I love that car and will miss it terribly...but HOORAY~!!
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#77 of 94 Old 02-15-2005, 03:42 PM
 
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Hi Everyone,
I have a question that y'all may be able to help me with.

Dh and I have a bit of debt, mostly incurred while he was at school this past four years. He is done now and making a decent income, I am a WAHM, and my business is only 1 year old.

So, we want to purchase about 5 acres of land in the area we will move to in the next 24 months.

Do you think the bank will mortgage the land and add on the debt we owe?

The land won't be much of a mortgage...less than 40,000.

We rent here is the city.

Is anyone familiar with this?
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#78 of 94 Old 02-15-2005, 04:41 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by boingo82
Just have to say, we have been in the red for a few months, getting behind on everything...we just sold my car, that eliminates a $240/ month payment, eliminates $70/month insurance too. We are using the money from that to get caught up, and then our tax refund will be our "buffer". Not having a buffer is what got us in trouble in the 1st place.
So...I love that car and will miss it terribly...but HOORAY~!!
the key is....will you really miss it $310 + gas and repairs each month?

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#79 of 94 Old 02-15-2005, 04:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mountain mom

Do you think the bank will mortgage the land and add on the debt we owe?
it is possible, depends on the bank and your credit. You could also chat with the lender about refinancing some of the debt...our lender was willing to refinance our car if he needed to for the numbers to work. We didn't end up doing that but at the time it was a real possibility.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#80 of 94 Old 02-15-2005, 10:31 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kerc
the key is....will you really miss it $310 + gas and repairs each month?
No I won't. However it took a LONG time to get to the point where the money looked better than the car...see, it would've been paid off in April, and my brothers had built me these custom LED taillights, they were *so* awesome. It was just a good little car...the Infiniti motto, "Own one, you'll understand." I had a whole online community of people with the same car, we shared tips and info and whatnot...I was the first one to figure out how to put custom cupholders in and everyone copied mine, we compared gas mileage and had meetups, etc.

At the same time, as much as I love that car, it did not fit into our lifestyle right now. I found it a good home with a young man who has lots of time and money (still lives with his parents) to do all the things (tint, wheels, etc.) that I never had the money to. I know he'll take good care of it.
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#81 of 94 Old 02-16-2005, 12:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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awww. I can understand. I totalled my dh's Honda CRX last year. He was in mourning for months -- he didn't really customize it but the same kind of thing: message boards, etc.

Kristin -- mom of Erin (11/5/02) and Leah (9/29/05)
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#82 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 12:00 PM
 
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Alright,s o I am posting this a bit late, but figured it might help give a bit of light at the end of the tunnel for those deep in debt:

After 4 years of marriage, my husband left when I was 9 months pregnant with our son. Emotionally, that was so incredibly painful and unexpected.
Financially, it was devastating.
For most of our marriage, he'd been underemployed or unemployed and we supported our household on my income (about $24/annually) since after his child support came out, he was lucky to bring hom $600/month. Approximately 9 months before he left, he started working as a recruiter and making twice as much as I was, after child support, bringing home about as much as I did.
Instead of paying off the mountain of credit card debt we'd incurred (in my name) over the four years of marriage, he first wanted to buy a van - so we sunk all of our savings, plus an additional $5k from a credit card (in my name) into buying a conversion van.
When he left, he took the van and left me with all the debt.
There was approximately $10,000 in credit card debt - all in my name. Plus I had a mortgage (in my name only) and all the regular daily living bills and I was 3 weeks away from delivering, driving a car with 180K miles on it and still only making about $24K a year.
It is now two years, 2 months later and...
The entire 10K cc debt is paid off.
I have a "newer" car (only 95K miles on it and many to go) - PAID off.
And I still only make about 25K a year.
How did I do it? Honestly, it is pretty simple - I paid as MUCH as possible on the highest interest card first - paying only minimum on the rest until the highest interest one is paid off, then move to the next highest interest card/loan. I put 95% of my tax refunds toward the highest interest debt (this year, since I had none, I paid off my car instead). And don't put *anything* else on the cc's while paying them off.
I have to admit, I did splurge and buy myself a new computer - putting it on my one credit card, but I have set up a payment plan with myself - all the $$ that was going to my car payments is now going to that cc PLUS the regular amount I would have paid on it anyway, so I should have it paid off in 2-3 months. I also have very low interest rates (excellent credit and asking the companies for lower rates), so I won't pay much in interest anyway.
So, basically, all I have are daily living expenses and mortgage, which I will start paying off once the divorce goes through.
Not bad for a single mom!
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#83 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 12:06 PM
 
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Wow Chris, that is truly inspiring! You have so much to be proud of! You go mama!

I am awaiting our taxes, we should find out next Monday wether it is a refund year, or a paying year, I expect refund, but don't want to get my hopes up.

Still plugging along at paying down debt, and trying to find ways to make money from home, I am doing my first craft fair in April with a friend. And I plan to do another in June.

How is everybody else coming along?

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#84 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 12:16 PM
 
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I too just wanted to say good job Chris. Paying the cc of in two years really made me want to redo my cc paying off.
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#85 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 12:39 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boingo82
So...I love that car and will miss it terribly...but HOORAY~!!
I totally understand this. We had a 1983 Buick Regal LImited. This car was HOT! We were turning it into a Grand National clone. Anyway, we had to sell it in order to buy groceries while dh was unemployed. That was 3 years ago and we STILL mourn the loss

BUt we do what we have to even if it sucks.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#86 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 12:47 PM
 
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I also forgot to add that despite my stbx's best efforts, it looks like he will have to pay me about 75% of the marital debt (minus $2K that I put on HIS cc).
So, I'm figuring on him having to pay me about $5,000 and hopefully, my atty bill won't come to more then $1,000 (most likely it won't), so I will have $4,000 trickle in over the next few years.
It feels good to know that I don't NEED his portion of the debt, but when/if I get it, it will be a windfall to use how I WANT, instead of *need*.
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#87 of 94 Old 02-22-2005, 06:50 PM
 
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Yeah Raynbow! Those are the kinds of stories that keep me inspired. I love to read success stories.


I busted into our $1000 emergency fund today for the first time. I have had the flu for the last 2 weeks. I thought I was at the end of it and getting better, but yesterday I woke up with pain in my teeth and I figured it was a sinus infection. It takes ALOT to get me to go to a dr, but I couldn't stand it and knew I needed antibiotics, so off we went this morning. $200 later- I have drugs and hopefully will be kicking this crud soon.

I didn't like spending the money, but it was a great feeling not to have to worry about what bill wouldn't get paid this week, or did we even HAVE the money to go to the dr. I will replace the $200 with money that is rolling towards our snowball debt next week and all is well. (Including me, hopefully! :LOL )
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#88 of 94 Old 02-23-2005, 06:01 PM
 
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Wow Chris that story was amazing.
I don't check in here too often, did a while back though. I love hearing everyones ideas, and putting some to use.
Currently we have about 3900 in cc debt and 2900 in my dh's student loan, I just took over the bill paying a few months ago, so I'm finally getting a hold on things. I've started using the envolope budgeting system, and its been working great. Also I'm using the idea of paying yourself first and then your creditors, and this makes so much sense to me, because everytime we ran out of money it would go on a cc. Now we pay for everything cash and put some in savings before we pay bills. I "froze" all our credit cards, literally in a baggy of water in the freezer, nothing has been charged for a few months. Well our cc debt is all on three cc's one has a lot of debt, like 2900 and the other two are smaller with low limits (but about maxed) and lower intrest. I know it makes sense to pay the higher interest first. We are getting some tax refund money, and I plan on putting half of it into cc, and the other half to pay cash for a "new" cheap, good mileage car for dh, his truck is falling apart and its not worth keeping, let alone the gas it sucks.
Anyways, heres where I'm having trouble figuring out the credit stuff, like I said, I know it makes sense to pay the higher interest first, but I am really tempted to pour the tax refund into the smaller ones, since it would cover them completly and I wouldn't have these extra "sucker" bills every month, that way it would be easier to focus on the bigger bill, and get rid of it. I am planning on focusing on the student loan last since the interest is so low. Would I be kicking myself if I got rid of those smaller credit cards in one fell swoop, while still paying inerest on the bigger card?

hearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gifhearts.gif A house full of girls, but for dad and one brother bikenew.gif
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#89 of 94 Old 02-23-2005, 06:37 PM
 
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This is jsut my opinion...

Yes, it makes sense to get rid of the higher card first. BUt how much of a dent will it make in it? I personally would get rid of little ones if it covers 2 or more. WHy? Because I think it squahses your budgeting steam to pay a chunk toward a big bill but still writing 8 checks a month for debt instead of say 5. Plus, if you get rid of the small one first you can pay extra on the principle of the larger ones that should make a good dent in it. Now that I think of it we were told to go small to big.

Single Mom to 2 amazing little men. T(7) and B(5)
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#90 of 94 Old 02-23-2005, 11:20 PM
 
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Quote:
Anyways, heres where I'm having trouble figuring out the credit stuff, like I said, I know it makes sense to pay the higher interest first, but I am really tempted to pour the tax refund into the smaller ones, since it would cover them completly and I wouldn't have these extra "sucker" bills every month, that way it would be easier to focus on the bigger bill, and get rid of it. I am planning on focusing on the student loan last since the interest is so low. Would I be kicking myself if I got rid of those smaller credit cards in one fell swoop, while still paying inerest on the bigger card?
Financially, you should pay off the highest interest rate one first.

Emotionally, you may be better off paying the lower balance one first.

For me, I would stick with higher interest rate. BUT, you probably will feel a lot better, a lot more motivated, etc... if you just kick a couple of the smaller ones to the curb so that is a pretty good idea (what's it called--- the "snowball method")

 

 

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