The way I explained it to dh was no luxeries, which means only basics. This means you really have to think about what you think is a need. For example, today I am buying a new shower liner for one of the bathrooms. I have cleaned and cut this one for two years (it doesn't get used as often), but it now should be replaced. But I still do not consider this a need. I could wait it out longer or clean it again. See what I mean? If you ABSOLUTELY NEED it, like car repair, medical, food, bills, etc. than it's allowed.
The goal is to try and use our frugal brains as well and find another solution to the need. like realtives, friends, or freecycle. Also use frugal ways regarding groceries and prior commitments like a b-day or anniversary.
Birth Photographer mom to four blessings