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#61 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 04:59 AM
 
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Originally Posted by romans_mum
i actually looked into these, and found that they were a waste of money, once you make the intitial purchase, the filters cost just about as much as the whole starter system.

me and dh decided since most tap water in the US is high quality, especially in our area (acccording to surveys), that we would just fill the 3 gallon container we put in our frdige for cold water with boiled water once its cooled. They tell you to boil it when the water system has a problem, so if theres anything they didnt catch,its killed.
OT... We have relatively high-quality tap water too, but if I drink it for 24hrs even my throat gets sore. (This never happpened when I drank it most of the time--only after I started drinking filtered water) I think chemicals and chemical byproducts are more of a concern than bacteria, and boiling really only addresses bacteria. When I considered getting a sink filter, I was pretty dissatisfied with the thoroughness of the filters.

We buy filtered water from a machine with a better filtration system at our health food store, refilling large jugs. The benefits of this water on our health are as important and substantial as the benefits of a generally healthy diet. I compromise on food quality before water quality. I consider this water an excellent use of our money.

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#62 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 09:45 AM
 
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One of the most un-frugal things I see are disposable sippy cups. I actually really like them but I reuse them ... a friend of mine buys all new ones every week.

A splurge of mine is getting a pedicure every few months ... makes me feel good and its relaxing.
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#63 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 01:52 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
I have to agree w the statement about daycare by both posts. I see how daycare sucks up most on one of the incomes, but in many cases, that income also carries the familie's benefits, etc. I would never be able to work at night in my old career since most of the business was done during regular business hours.
i think daycare if your working is a needed expense..........but IMO sahm's who use full time daycare are wasting money.
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#64 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 03:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by romans_mum
i think daycare if your working is a needed expense..........but IMO sahm's who use full time daycare are wasting money.
I agree w that to a point but us sahm do a lot more than just "stay home" During the summer months and school vacation time I have hired my sitter during the day a few mornings a week, so I get to do things whether its cleaning the house, running errands w/o dd, go attend to errands that might not be fun for a child, and she enjoys it so it works out great. Or going to an appt w my younger child who before I had to go to the hospital to see.
My dd1's preschool has a parents day out program one day a week from 9:30-2pm. You sign up at the beginning of the year for the year. Most moms who use it have more than one kid and use the time to go to appts for Dr for themselves or another child, work in their older child's classroom or do things she would have to hire a sitter for which is impossible for some during the weekday hours. I plan on using it too in a few years. Cant always rely on another parent, dh's work, or grandparents. I dont usually use the time to spa

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#65 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 04:03 PM
 
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My take on the daycare thing: Dh and I are both full-time teachers with great benefits and hours, and I actually consider our dd's daycare to be something I'm happy to splurge on. No way would I scrimp on her care. Currently, we pay more than the going rate in our area, but she's in such a wonderful place -- it's a Montessori AP-oriented family-based daycare/preschool, so she'll be able to stay there until she's ready for Kindergarten, and she LOVES it. We do have to pay through vacation times and the summer months even though we don't send her full-time, but like I said, this is one area where I'm happy to splurge, and I daresay she has learned and grown more from going there more than she would have at home. I love that she's essentially getting the benfits of growing up in a big family but all the perks of mom and dad's undivided attention at home, too.

Oh, and switching careers so that one of us could work nights just isn't an option. We both love our jobs, and would be profoundly unhappy if we had to do something else. Plus, daycare costs us less than $1K per month, and we both make more than $2k each, so having only one working parent wouldna't make sense either.
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#66 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 06:14 PM
 
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i have no problem with part time daycare or sitters. i think sometimes, especially in summer with multpile children it can be a godsend.....its the full time ones that annoy me.

even though i plan to homeschool ds andany other kids, i plan to enrol them in some sort of playgroup/daycare thing for one or two days a week, and when they are older, some after school programs and summer ones. they can be good social things for kids and breaks for mums sanity
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#67 of 92 Old 07-09-2006, 07:44 PM
 
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I cannot believe a parent would put their kids in full time daycare and stay home-yikes! But each their own, I doubt they visit here :

Another unfrugal thing that I could be guilty of once in awhile. Now w gas prices high its really important:

Running all over town to do whatever and wasting gas in the process. Because of the high cost of gas, the last few years I have learned to combine errands, wait a day to go to the store, or stock pile so I do not have to make multiple trips. Its also forced me to have a price book in my head to know who has what and for what price. So instead of getting a few things at Target and then a few things somewhere else, I find out who has the best of everything and go to that. I either pay a few cents more for the more expensive items and not waste the gas and time, or wait until I have a big enough need to visit that place.

Also, I stay out of the Targets of the world. For me, I go in for toothpaste and end up w 5 or more other items I "really needed"

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#68 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 12:12 AM
 
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Originally Posted by romans_mum
i actually looked into these, and found that they were a waste of money, once you make the intitial purchase, the filters cost just about as much as the whole starter system.
That's probably true. I guess I was thinking more of wastefulness than being frugal. :
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#69 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 12:38 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
Also, I stay out of the Targets of the world. For me, I go in for toothpaste and end up w 5 or more other items I "really needed"
me too......although, speaking of target and frugal, they have a great deal on 30 double rolls of charmin ultra tp..........we got it yesterday to stock up. If we run out before the end of the month im sending my FIL to the dr lol.
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#70 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 01:10 PM
 
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DH tells me I shouldn't take a cart when I go in to Target. That way I can only buy what I can carry .

MIL is a weird contradiction. She saves cooked ramen leftovers but buys a new dish drying rack when hers gets the least bit grungy.

This might make people on MDC mad but here goes...the latest Hyena diapers. Fun, sure, but frugal, hell fricking no. There are some single diapers that go for more than I spent on the entire diapering system I use for my kids. They cost more than a week at summer camp. Than gasoline for a road trip. I just don't get it.

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#71 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 03:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by nikirj
This might make people on MDC mad but here goes...the latest Hyena diapers. Fun, sure, but frugal, hell fricking no. There are some single diapers that go for more than I spent on the entire diapering system I use for my kids. They cost more than a week at summer camp. Than gasoline for a road trip. I just don't get it.
I was waiting for someone to say that. I'm not the only one thinking that.
Some of the wool alone is way to expensive and a lot of time its used!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#72 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 05:31 PM
 
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My Mom & her fiance live in a large 4 bedroom (really the master bedroom is more of a suite), 3 bath house, dining room, 2 living rooms, office, finished cellar, attached 2 car garage, large screened porch, inground pool they never use, on a couple acres. They have her fiance's 2 kids (15 & 12 yo) 4-8 days a month. They are seriously talking about putting an addition onto the garage & possibly onto the family room as well. "We'd really love a fireplace...french doors going out onto the deck..." Oh, and they have a huge fifth wheel camper & the pick-up to tow it with that they never use and are now having an awful hard time selling. Plus a motorcycle, van & car (all purchased new).

This would all be fine if my Mom did not LITERALLY spend every minute of the day complaining about how much she wants to retire, how she'll never be able to retire, how she wishes she could retire like her fiance (who is disabled)....

I want to rip my hair out every time I have that conversation with her. :

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#73 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 07:18 PM
 
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Holly- does she live next door to my brother- sounds like his house

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#74 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 07:47 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
Holly- does she live next door to my brother- sounds like his house
No, she lives next to me and my micro-tiny barely 800 sq ft house.

We live in the home my parents originally built on their property (about 5 acres total). When my DB was born they decided they needed a bigger place & instead of just adding a room or two they built a whole new house about 300 ft closer to the road. When I was 12'ish they took that modest 3 bedroom ranch house, finshed the basement, added a huge addition, plus a pool. It was actually a pretty decent size house for a family of 4. Still on the large size, but DB, my Dad & I used the pool every day and of course you know how much room kids can take up!

Well, my DB & I havn't lived at home in years and my Dad passed away 6 years ago. Now it's just my Mom and her fiance banging around this huge house. They insist that they can't sell it because they "need the space for when her fiance's kids come to visit". Yeah. Whatever.

What's really funny is that my Mom is now all over my case about us putting an addition on our house because it's too small for a family of 4. She's right, it is awfully small for 2 kids, and we may do a *modest* addition a few years down the road. But she KNOWS DH still has to finish his degree & possibly his Master's before that's even an option.

Plus, I like having a smaller house. Less stuff to clean & it forces me to not be a junk collector and a clutter bug.

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#75 of 92 Old 07-10-2006, 10:41 PM
 
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Okay so I haven't read all of the posts but had to add.

This winter we arrived at the IL's in Tuscan Arizona. They just got a new gas fireplace. And because it was 75degrees out side they turned on the AC to cool the house down enough so that they could enjoy the new fireplace. I couldn't believe it!

I really could go on and on about their wasteful behaviors.
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#76 of 92 Old 07-11-2006, 01:27 AM
 
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Okay so I haven't read all of the posts but had to add.

This winter we arrived at the IL's in Tuscan Arizona. They just got a new gas fireplace. And because it was 75degrees out side they turned on the AC to cool the house down enough so that they could enjoy the new fireplace. I couldn't believe it!

I really could go on and on about their wasteful behaviors.
I think that wins hands down!

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#77 of 92 Old 07-15-2006, 04:18 AM
 
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MY MOTHER
I kid you not, my mom is the most un-frugal person I've ever met...sometimes she the heck out of me. She'll buy stuff just to buy stuff because it's pretty : Don't get me wrong I totally appreciate her generosity, but DH, DD and I have a list of things about a mile long that we really NEED instead of a pretty glass plate to put "on a plate stand"!
For example: We are temporarily living in my parents basement "apartment" (we have our own bath/kitchen/private entrance, I know we're lucky to have this option right now) and we CD but my mom INSISTS on using DISPOSABLES : She REFUSES to use cloth! We even use FB pockets! . Whatever makes her happy I guess. I'm much more like my DAD (grew up on a farm with a VERY frugal mother/father!)
My parents still have the house I grew up in AND they just bought a cabin which they converted into a LAKE HOME...talk about your parents making you feel totally inadequate.

Summer: crafty mama to 2 little girls and wife to Bob
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#78 of 92 Old 07-15-2006, 04:28 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Amys1st
Moving into the mortgage arguement. As a ten year home owner of a property that has more than doubled in value, it would cost me double what my monthly payment is to rent the house down the street. Yes our interest has gone down for a tax deduction since we own a lot more of our home but now we are looking to pay it off sooner than later. Worth investing if you plan on staying put.
Yes I agree. We have been in ours for about 8 years and our mortgage on it is smaller than what we could rent an apt for down the street. We are paying just over $1000 month. We have a 3br with 2 baths. I have us in 2 bedrooms with the third closed off and not in use and not being a/c'd right now. Our house has doubled in value since we bought it. I don't like the maintance side of things, it does cost money, but I love seeing our kids play outdoors in our yard where they are safe, and painting the walls any color I choose. Sometimes home ownership is about more than the money.

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#79 of 92 Old 07-20-2006, 06:30 AM
 
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Ok, I married a millionaire, so I can see extreme wastefulness from him and his brother's family. Here's an important lesson I've observed:

EVERY ASSET HAS IT'S BURDEN

My former husband must have "owned" over $700,000 worth of cars in the garage. I had to share in helping him drop them off all the time to be detailed (at $500 a pop!!), constantly dealing with the DMV for licensing new vehicles, oil changes for a garage FULL of cars, I can't imagine what the insurance costed.

When I dated him, I watched him struggle with jet skis, needing a trailer, storage, winterizing, moving them from place to place...

How about the hassles of cleaning out and maintaining an RV? (Although I guess this saves money for big families who travel alot- no plane tickets, no hotel rooms).

A neighbor's wife has a minature horse. I asked him what she does with it, he replied, "uh, feed it."

How about limo service? Sending flowers- I can't stand the mess they make and watching them die, I know how much these cost... I can't stand to receive flowers anymore. Once I received 1000 red roses at work. The following Valentines Day I received 500. These roses cost $3 each! Flying first class or needing the "BEST" hotel suite or ship cabin.

Ok, I love receiving diamonds, but went into Harry Winston's with my former MIL and she almost bought a pearl necklace for over $100,000!! She asked me if I thought she should get it. I tried to be diplomatic, reminding her how hard it must have been raising 3 kids, but also reminded her that she could buy a HOUSE for the amount of money that necklace cost!

How about spending $10,000 on Laser Hair Removal Treatments that never worked?

I never understood people paying for both a housekeeper and gym membership. If they'd clean their own house, they wouldn't need a gym membership, and if they didn't go the the gym, they'd have time to clean their houe.

Oh, and being a former stripper, I saw men spending thousands of dollars night after night on strippers that will forget all about them when the well runs dry...

While married to him, I never bought kids' or babies' clothes- hand me downs are easy to get! I never used a babysitter or childcare. I thought cribs and stollers and fancy nurseries were a huge waste of money, so never had them. I have never bought kids' or babies' toys or books, they still seem to multiply! Long-term breastfeeding and delaying solids saved formula costs, baby food was never bought, didn't buy tampons because my period was delayed for 8 years! Playgroups and parks were free entertainment. The schools have a summer feeding program and give all children aged 1-18 free lunch (some places breakfast, too!) regardless of income. Kids will always have a great time at a birthday party no matter how simple it is. I really didn't buy my own clothes much at all, but anything I did buy was always from the thrift store. I always ask the Dr. for samples of meds we might need.

So, back to the millionaire husband... Turns out he's a wife beater... runs through a huge pile of this former stripper's savings... leaves her with HUGE bills before claiming bankrupcy himself. So, here's more that I've learned...

Why would you pay for a mail box when you can get it at your house for free?
TV isn't good for kids, why would I buy channels?
Cloth diapers and wipes save tons of money!
A used, practical, dependable car isn't what you really want to show up for a date in, but who cares?
Bearing the heat and not turning on the AC in a huge house saves money and also makes your appetite disappear! No gym memberships necessary!
I don't have time to read a newspaper, why would I buy a subscription? (Yes, I live in a bubble with no TV or newspaper)
Lots of companies will give free restaurant meals in exchange for a customer service review.
Avoiding the grocery store and trying to eat from the pantry and freezer for a month can save lots of $$.
The library has free old magazines (even Mothering!)

Now the housekeeper issue: I've found that I'm turning down work (I'm on-call) because I need to get the house clean (Ok, I'm a perfectionist when it comes to a clean house!) I feel it's such a waste to hire a someone to clean the house, but it would be less money than I'm turning down. Also, I don't want my kids to remember me always cleaning the house and never having time for fun.
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#80 of 92 Old 07-20-2006, 08:38 PM
 
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J Also, in many cases, full-time daycare, especially w/ very young children. I know, necessary in some cases, but in most (w/ 2 parents), you can make more money for your time if 1 parent works at night.
I think the health of the partnership/marriage is important too. Sure you can have more take home pay if you work opposite shifts, but what about times with the whole family and couple time? Also in my personal case neither dh or I have a job that anyone does any time other than first shift. From a finacial standpoint it make much sense for me to use my education to keep going at my current career than it would be to try and start doing something else for less money.

I am not complaining about my situation or daycare costs. I have a good life.
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#81 of 92 Old 07-20-2006, 08:48 PM
 
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Originally Posted by SleeplessMommy
Two more wastes of money:

a) the diamond engagemnt ring "two months salary". A huge waste of money and not an "investment in the future"

b) expensive weddings!
No kidding! I think my ring cost dh more like two hours salary. : . I like it just fine, but I am so not a jewlery person.

My B and SIL were married in April of 2005 and their wedding just seemed like a way to spend as much money as possible. My mom bless her heart paid for my ds ringbears tux, I think because she didn't want to listen to me complain about how expensive is was for the next 10 years.
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#82 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 12:35 AM
 
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Throwing out money... literally. I know a lady who throws out pennies.
I'll take them.

 "Now bid me run, and I will strive with things impossible." (William Shakespeare -- Julius Caesar)

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#83 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 12:51 AM
 
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what is considered expensive for a wedding? our wedding 10 years ago was about 17K. Paid for by my parents. Great fun, its really a big party for the parents since a lot of their friends were there. I thought that was a average for our area. I have been to weddings that cost as low as 5K and as high as 75K. I might add though, it seems the crazier, more outlandish the wedding, the quicker the divorce comes.


Besides more people spend more time on their wedding than their marriage and thats where the issue is whether frugal or not.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#84 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 01:01 AM
 
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ours cost $300
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#85 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 09:18 AM
 
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When my younger sister got married 3 years ago, she told the bridesmaids to wear a black dress and we could pick it. I had already bought one for BIL's wedding in 2001 and it was hanging in my closet. Worked great and wore it for this wedding too. My sister in law thought it was wrong to not buy yet another black dress for the bridesmaid dress. I would have bought the exact same dress no doubt.

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#86 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 09:21 AM
 
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I'll take them.
That's what I told her. She never took me up on it. I was serious though.
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#87 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 09:42 AM
 
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Our wedding was the cost of the marriage license. We got married at the courthouse and spent our money on a two-week trip to Malta!
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#88 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 09:48 AM
 
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Seriously, I think that the most unfrugal things are buying lots of designer clothes and shoes and buying more vehicle or home than you need. For example, SUVs and large trucks for families that neither deliver/haul things nor have a large family. I think the most ridiculous things I have ever seen are these "luxury" trucks. I just LMAO when I see these. Like they are saying, "I haul only CLEAN, EXPENSIVE dirt!" Basically, I think that buying things as status symbols instead of being practical about them is a waste. Who cares what other people think!
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#89 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 10:21 AM
 
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I love pennies and we save them and then use them...

There is a charity at our church that has you "fill the jars" w pennies, etc. So whenever it comes up, we collect the jars and sit dd down for a 1/2 and she fills them w the change.

Or my favorite:
Several years ago I received an unfair parking ticket in my town. The fine was $15. I brought it right away over to the police station to say- hey this is wrong!! The guy behind the counter was a jerk and said rules are rules blah blah blah. To fight it, I would have to go to court. That would be taking a day off work etc, the choice is better to pay it- I guess that was the scam of these tickets back then. I could also pay the ticket at that counter on the spot or by a certain date. So I went home, counted out $15 in pennies and put them in a bag. I called the next day and asked if they accept cash for the fine. They said yes as long as its exact amount. I said no problem!!
I went in right before closing and the same jerk was there. He said w a smirk- HEre to pay your fine? I said yes, you take cash right? He smiled and said YUP! I handed over a huge ziplock of pennies. He said he could not accept it. I said why- its legal tender and you just said you accept cash. He said can you come back with bills- I said, its closing and I will be out of town so you have to accept it RULES ARE RULEs I said w the same smirk. HE took it w his face flaming.

Irony- got another BS ticket a week later. Brought it in, same guy was working. Is said, I need to protest this or I will be back w more pennies. He said I could not do that and he got in trouble for taking it. I said pennies are legel tender no matter how inconvenient and to have his boss call me regarding the pennies and the ticket. I got a message the next day saying the ticket was cleared and it was a mistake. Never had an issue again...

"The true joy of life is the trip. The station is only a dream. It constantly out distances us."
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#90 of 92 Old 07-21-2006, 01:32 PM
 
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Amy! That story is so funny!

Uggh the huge expensive weddings are soooo silly! It drives DH and I up the wall. I guess it's the bride and groom's choice, but come on, it's not necessary.

Our friends took out a loan to pay for much of their $30K wedding at the country club. They bought a home a few months later and within a year they thought they might have to give up the house because they couldn't afford both the home and wedding loan payments. I really feel sorry for them.

Our wedding cost $10 (the cost of a license ), we then could spend our money for our 10-day long trip to the Netherlands. Even with that honeymoon we still got out of the wedding for less than 10% of what our friends paid, no debt and loads of happy memories.

I blog traditional foods and Weston A Price at Nourished Kitchen. See my healthy recipes.
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