a really tough queston from a humbled momma - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

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#91 of 107 Old 12-03-2006, 08:33 AM
 
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Originally Posted by *MAMACITA* View Post
thank you all for your advise..... i am am trying to apply on-line to Tx assitance program.. in the mean time our WIC is no avaible and that wil help.....im still tryin gto find some food banks in our area....and we might have a person who is willing ot take over payments of the truck.. just as long as they are appoved through our loan company... thank you all again for your thoughts and advise....
You probably will not be able to apply online, they like to see people in person, but please don't let that stop you! I'm crossing my fingers, toes and anything else that can be crossed, for the person to be able to take over payments! Good luck with that, I know it will be a huge load off your shoulders

Food banks: Here, we have the Salvation Army and one run by a social services agency, try looking in the phone book for Social Services, and I know some areas have food banks run by the Catholic church that is available for everyone.


Amy ~ Web Designing Single Mom to 4: DD14, DS12, DS5, DS3
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#92 of 107 Old 12-03-2006, 11:11 AM
 
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I know that life can get very complicated and choices we make when things are going good, can turn around and bite you in the end.

Payday was the 1st, is that correct? I would have bought food and paid the little bills and not the car. You should have been able to call the loan company and asked them to delay the payments for a month or two. Most companies will do this and you pay a small fee. During times of hardship.

If you have toxemia, please rest and stay rested, do not attempt to get a job. You can seriously hurt yourself and the baby. I'm surprised you aren't on bedrest.

Delay going back to CA by going and getting a note from your doctor that you shouldn't be traveling now. With Toxemia, you shouldn't traveling and no doctor is going to say different.

Research the car rules for food stamps. They did change not that long ago and most states raised the allowed value of a car. However, I'm not sure this will work for you, since your housing allowance is considered unearned income.
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#93 of 107 Old 12-03-2006, 07:06 PM
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no this is my third..Dh's first.. we need a SUV to fit all of us....e have 5 ppl and i know my car is too small to fit all of us....i would love to have a garage sale.. thats a great idea.. i would have to do it next weekend.... there is no way i have enough time to pull that off.. this weekend.. well maybe ..Dh has a half day today.... maybe....
Well, you don't NEED an SUV. You can get an older van (like one that is from the early-mid 90's) for around $3000 or less. A lot cheaper than an SUV - and just as big (not as cool, though,lol!)
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#94 of 107 Old 12-03-2006, 08:44 PM
 
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Well, you don't NEED an SUV. You can get an older van (like one that is from the early-mid 90's) for around $3000 or less. A lot cheaper than an SUV - and just as big (not as cool, though,lol!)
I want to add that an older minivan would fit my family of five much better than our SUV. I so wish we'd bought the used van instead of the used SUV. It was cleaner and cheaper and would have been more comfortable for all of us. Even if it wasn't cool, boxy and green.

It seems like things might be improving a little. I hope they continue to move in the right direction for you.
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#95 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 12:22 AM
 
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I agree with the idea of giving the car back to the finance company, if Mamacita and her DH don't find someone suitable (according to the finance co.) that can take over payments.

A ruined credit history is nothing compared with not being able to feed your family.

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#96 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 12:58 AM
 
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since we got married after DHwas stationed here.. they wouldn't help with our move.. it was almost 2500$ to move.......

two things:

1) you posted this on pay day. You don't have any money left from his pay?

2) I don't understand why they wouldn't help you with your move. I am a military wife. DH was stationed somewhere else, we got married and I moved. They paid for my move: mileage, gas, lodging, rental truck. Your DH needs to check again with his commander.

Your Dh can also go to his commander and get a letter for an advance on his pay. They will then take it back out of his pay over a period of time to help you get things worked out. Trust me, I know. Handling this sort of thing is part of my DH's job.
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#97 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 03:14 AM
 
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Sometimes you can get a good deal on a car from a car rental place. Thats where we got our last car. They stay on the lot of 2 years and then they sell them ( at least at the place where we got ours) Plus they are well cared for. We paid cash for ours and have had no problems. This was 2 years ago.
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#98 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 01:41 PM
 
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Originally Posted by shelf View Post
two things:

1) you posted this on pay day. You don't have any money left from his pay?

2) I don't understand why they wouldn't help you with your move. I am a military wife. DH was stationed somewhere else, we got married and I moved. They paid for my move: mileage, gas, lodging, rental truck. Your DH needs to check again with his commander.

Your Dh can also go to his commander and get a letter for an advance on his pay. They will then take it back out of his pay over a period of time to help you get things worked out. Trust me, I know. Handling this sort of thing is part of my DH's job.
You can take up to two months of pay as an advancement whenever you move, and it gets taken out of his check for the next year or two. We have done this when we did military moves. Even though the military does pay for your move, it still seems to end up costing you too.

student/sahm to three awesome girls who are always on the go!
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#99 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 03:33 PM
 
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Sell your truck, get a small car, and 3 Sunshine Radian car seats. They harness from 5-65 pounds and are made to fit 3 across.
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#100 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 08:33 PM
 
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2) I don't understand why they wouldn't help you with your move. I am a military wife. DH was stationed somewhere else, we got married and I moved. They paid for my move: mileage, gas, lodging, rental truck. Your DH needs to check again with his commander.
When I married DH, it made a difference if it was before or after his official orders came. I'm not exactly sure all the differences, but it was important that we were married prior.
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#101 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 09:02 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by shelf View Post
two things:

1) you posted this on pay day. You don't have any money left from his pay?






i know when we got paid.. yes i posted this on payday.. just cuz its payday.. doesn;t i have money.....yes we got paid....but truck payment came out and insurance and we had 10$ left.. If you HAD to know...

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#102 of 107 Old 12-05-2006, 09:48 PM
 
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i know when we got paid.. yes i posted this on payday.. just cuz its payday.. doesn;t i have money.....yes we got paid....but truck payment came out and insurance and we had 10$ left.. If you HAD to know...

you're the one that put it out there, I was just wondering why one would pay out all the money they had without saving some for basic necessities (like food) if you need the money, I'd have let some bills slide til the mid month pay. but hey, that's just me.
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#103 of 107 Old 12-06-2006, 11:45 AM
 
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If you aren't going to get rid of the truck, I think you should at least try to refinance it at a lower rate if possible, and maybe look for cheaper insurance.

I was in the military and I know what an E-5 gets paid. There's no reason a car payment and insurance should cost that much.

Also, if your DH hasn't already done so, he should fill out a new W-4 and change his exemptions, so he can get his money in his paychecks instead of as a tax refund.

I also agree with shelf that food comes before car payments if there isn't enough money for both.
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#104 of 107 Old 12-06-2006, 02:33 PM
 
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If the entire paycheck was gone in one day...aside from the phenomenally huge truck payment there may be some other areas of your budget that need a second look.

There are some mamas on here that are great with budgets. If you feel comfortable posting a general amount that comes in each month and what the expenses are, I have seen them help several mamas figure out where they could save more.

I hope you can get things sorted out
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#105 of 107 Old 12-06-2006, 03:30 PM
 
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mamacita, if youre interested in doing fcc (home daycare) pm me. i did it for a while, and you make good money. the parents pay you the same fees they would pay the centers, plus (at least in europe anyway) you get subsidies to help pay for food and things, although those take a while to come in (ex- you file novembers subsidies at the end of the month, but you dont get them til around the end of dec) if you feel up to it, you could also see about getting your name put on the red cross babysitters list, and do some sitting when your dh is home to watch the kiddos. i know you need at least first aid/cpr for that, not sure about what other classes.

*~*Ashley*~* newly single mama to Tristan 10/01/2007
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#106 of 107 Old 12-06-2006, 04:53 PM
 
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A family of four living on an E-5 salary will not qualify for food stamps. The military has a program for large lower enlisted families that covers the gap that allows them to qualify for food stamps so that the money comes from the military instead of the state.

http://usmilitary.about.com/cs/money...foodstamps.htm

You do, of course, qualify for WIC. I couldn't get from your other posts whether or not you get WIC.

It sounds like a pay advance would be a bad idea. If you can't afford to live on what you have now, it doesn't seem like a good idea to reduce that paycheck even more.

It seems that there are other problems, aside from the truck. I'm not judging, Maude knows that I've been in similar tight places for one reason or another, but you and your husband need help figuring this out. I'm not sure what the name of the Army's relief agency is, but in the Air Force we call the Family Support Center and set up an appointment with a counselor and they try to help you figure things out. They can get interest rates lowered, Military Star payments lowered, point you in the direction of other emergency relief agencies, and help you figure out a way to live on what you have. Anything you do right now is going to be a temporary fix, which is necessary, but I disagree that you don't need to think long term because that is the only way to prevent this from happening again.

Please rethink your vehicle needs. When we were in Texas in '04, we only had one car because we were en route to Hawaii from Monterey. It was only four months, but I got every morning and took my husband to the base across town with my 6yo, 2yo, and very tiny baby. It sucked, but I had to do it because I also had to take my 6yo to school. (There was no bus and no sidewalk on the very busy route to the school. It was truly insane.) But we did it. Also, I've gotten all three of my kids in the backseat of a '90 Honda Accord on a regular basis. Until recently, our primary car was a Hyundai Elantra, not exactly roomy. It was tight, but we did it and everyone was just fine. You don't "need" an SUV or even a minivan with three kids, I promise. If the truck is still in good shape, it is possible to just turn it in. We had to do that with my dad's truck when he had a stroke. We couldn't get what he owed on it, so my mom just called the dealership and explained and they took it back. It went on her credit record, but she just needed to get rid of that payment.

Ebay and Craigslist are good ways to make quick cash. Your husband can also deliver pizzas-- I've known more than one soldier that did that in the evenings to make ends meet. It doesn't sound like it would be a good idea for you to work with toxemia, but your husband could also get a little extra work on the weekends in retail. He has to get permission from his command, but it's possible.
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#107 of 107 Old 12-08-2006, 08:04 PM
 
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Other posters have made great suggestions, but I wanted to add a quick one. I'm sure getting a new phone line won't be the OP's highest priority, but once all the pressing needs are met, it may come up. Just wanted to point out there's a service in TX (and I think in other areas, too) called LifeLine that may be worth checking out. Here's a link: http://www.lifelinesupport.org/li/lo...felinesupport/
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