a really tough queston from a humbled momma - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:19 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i have some questions.....We are struggling really bad finacially right now.. to the point.. we have no gas or food.. and two weeks till payday..... we have been straggleing since it took all our savings to move to TX.. we are simply stuck... I am thinking about getting a job... heres the deal.. I have to travel back to Cali on the 29 Dec for a court date(Driving with out a licence..I had NO idea, and whe i found out fixed it immediately)Im also 6 months prego with toxemia... and GD....... and i would have to put DS2 in full time daycare..would it be worth trying to find a job.. won't most emploers take one look at my belly and think im a liabity??..I don;t know what to do..... we are soo broke...we live in housing so our rent and utilities are paid for..THANK GOD....but we have no gas.. no food..NOTHING.. what is a momma to do... is there some kinds WAHM job i can do???? what should i do...

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#2 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:25 PM
 
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I don't know your history....so all I'm going on is this one post.

First of all, I don't understand why you had to use your savings to move. I get the impression this was a military move...?

Secondly, military families CAN qualify for WIC and food stamps.

Lastly, I would suggest checking out Army Emergency Relief. I'm sure Ft. Bliss has some sort of family support center with a relief office.

http://www.aerhq.org/

Getting a job today isn't going to put food on your table today.
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#3 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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since we got married after DHwas stationed here.. they wouldn't help with our move.. it was almost 2500$ to move.......

whats killing us is Dh truck payment...at the time he bought it.. he didn;t know he was gonna get married....we get WIC, but foodstamps..LOL.. they would laugh at us... our truck is an 06'.....i feel bad and so does DH.. like he said this morning .. had he known that he was gona get married . he woul s have saved more while he was in Korea last yeara dn he never would have bought the truck......

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#4 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:31 PM
 
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Is he working on getting rid of the truck? I'd say that's paramount. Even if you wind up upside down on it, it might at least ease things for you. I'm sorry you're having a hard time, we've definitely been there.
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#5 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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Can he sell the truck and downsize to a more affordable vehicle?
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#6 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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This is won't take care of today's problems...but it can help for later..

have you gone here to Modest Needs?

http://www.modestneeds.org/

also, have you seen this thread?

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=551165


Tracy

Check out New Moon on my Astrology Site

http://tracyastrosalon.blogspot.com/

 

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#7 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:32 PM
 
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Crossposted with LifeOnLivingstone.
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#8 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:35 PM
 
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I remember being in a similar situation when I was pregnant with my first son. As far as spending all of my savings to move somewhere and being too obviously pregnant to get a job!
I would suggest looking at your skills and looking for someone to trade work with.... like organising, or childcare, or meal prep or somthing in trade for groceries. I remember when I was in that situation , the pay for working a regular job would not have helped out after the cost of childcare and work related costs.

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#9 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:35 PM
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Food shelf/pantry? Local church?

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#10 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:38 PM
 
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Right now is a great time for part-time retail jobs. You could work evenings or weekends if your DH is home (can't remember if he's home now). The extra money could help get you over a rough spot, over the holidays.
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#11 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:38 PM - Thread Starter
 
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we are trying to get rid of the truck and get like a SUV.. but noone here wil take it.. or the trade in will leave us with the same payments......ARGGHHH

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#12 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:39 PM
 
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Every base is usually in need of home day care. From what I understand there are classes and such that you need to take so you couldn't start immediately but I bet you could be up and running within 2 months. I know some moms around here on our base make more than their dh's do just doing daycare. It's def something to think about.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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#13 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:46 PM
 
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To address the immediate issue of no food, I would strongly urge you to contact local churches. They often have food pantries for just this kind of situation, where your $ just won't stretch because of your bills. I take a friend in monthly to a FP run by a group of local churches. She's allowed to go once a month and they give her a box of food plus frozen meat, milk, butter (margerine), and paper products. Also, the grocery store donates tons of day-old goods from the bakery. From what I've seen, the amounts you are given are based on your family size. They ask you to fill out a paper stating your income, but I've never seen them turn anyone away. And from what I've seen, most of the people there make "too much" too qualify for food stamps, but who don't make enough to make ends meet. There are lot of people in this situation, unfortunately.
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#14 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:46 PM - Thread Starter
 
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i would love to do daycare... but is it fair to do it for a couple months and then not. onc i have this baby?

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#15 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:47 PM
 
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Oh, that sounds really tough!

Why would you get an SUV if you got rid of the truck? Do you need a huge car? What about something very affordable and small? Do you have 2 cars or one? I'm thinking *very*affordable, like a $2,000 car or something - just basics, to get you where you need to go.

Can you have a yard sale this weekend to at least get a little bit of cash to buy some basic groceries (eggs, beans, etc)?

Is this your first baby?

Gosh - good luck!
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#16 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:49 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *MAMACITA* View Post
i would love to do daycare... but is it fair to do it for a couple months and then not. onc i have this baby?
What if you promote yourself as a holiday helper? You could babysit during this holiday time, or bake for others, wrap presents, clean houses, etc - just for the next 30 days or so, if that's all you think you can do.
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#17 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:50 PM
 
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Mamacita,
if you are interested in doing in home DC, PM me. I can help you get started.
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#18 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 02:50 PM - Thread Starter
 
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no this is my third..Dh's first.. we need a SUV to fit all of us....e have 5 ppl and i know my car is too small to fit all of us....i would love to have a garage sale.. thats a great idea.. i would have to do it next weekend.... there is no way i have enough time to pull that off.. this weekend.. well maybe ..Dh has a half day today.... maybe....

We may not have it all together, but together we have it all , Loving their daddy, my hubby, our soldier
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#19 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:03 PM
 
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I just re-read the OP and saw that you are 6 months pregnant, dealing with some health stuff too.

IMO you should shelve the working idea, for your sake and your baby's. Unless you can do a low-stress WAHM thing where you can still be off your feet and rest (if there is such a thing)

In keeping with the garage sale idea, do you have anything you can sell online? Nice clothes, books?

Once I sold nearly everything we had, to get thru the winter. It was very hard but we didn't qualify for assistance and I was sick, pregnant, and low on options. Looking back I would have done the same thing again.
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#20 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:15 PM
 
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no ideas for now, but big coming your way!

my best friend's brother is recently stationed in Ft Bliss. Just got home from Iraq.
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#21 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:23 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OnTheBrink View Post
What if you promote yourself as a holiday helper? You could babysit during this holiday time, or bake for others, wrap presents, clean houses, etc - just for the next 30 days or so, if that's all you think you can do.

That's a good idea. The Y here has a program during the holidays where you can drop your kids off in the nursery for up to 4 hours while you go shopping. If it sounds like something you'd be feeling up to do, post some fliers around base like that, drop-in babysitting services for up to 4 hours and give certain times they can come.

Bubba (9) bikenew.gifLukey (5) jog.gif  Fat Baby (2) babyf.gif  Me faint.gif

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#22 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:24 PM
 
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I think the first thing I would do is contact legal aide (whomever in your area provides free legal services) and work on an extension on your court date. With a doctor's note you will more than likely not have to go right now, but you need to start working on this right away. Since it has already been taken care of and was just driving without a license, you may be able to take care of it by mail even.

After doing that, I would find the nearest food pantry. Do you belong to a church? Often times they are great resources in times like these. They may even be able to provide transportation for you to get to the food pantry. Even if you don't belong to one, you could call around to different churches. Plus, it wouldn't hurt to try food stamps. I know in Illinois they are set up to provide immediate short term help in cases like yours. I would hope Texas has a similar program.

I agree with the idea of providing part time "babysitting" (I tend to think of "Child care" as more permanant) to friends/DH's coworkers during the holidays. I bet you could make a ton of money just by watching kids overnight on New Year's Eve.

It may not seem like it to you, but it's almost fortunate that this is happening at this time of year. Although a lot of food pantries run out of food during the holiday season, many, many orginizations come forward to provide food baskets, winter coats, children's presents, etc.

I wish you luck and a healthy pregnancy.
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#23 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:26 PM
 
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You don't need an SUV for 3 kids, even if they're in carseats. We put them in the back of dh's old Sable many, many times. I had 3 two and under and we normally drove a van. Sure, a sedan isnt' ideal, but it can work if it has to.

As far as immediate food money, we have stuff like the Free Store here, that's where I would start if I were you, there's likely something similar in your area.

And as far as getting a job, I agree with the home daycare idea. OR for immediate money, could you just be a babysitter, like nights and weekends, shorter times during the day?
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#24 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:27 PM
 
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Yep there is always help in the army.He just needs to ask.Don't go hungry ask for help.He should go to his commander or the chaplain if he is unsure where to apply for help.And today is payday or do you not have anything left after the bills?
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#25 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:30 PM
 
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So you have two vehicles? Okay, try to get down to one. Are you living on base? or trade in the truck for an older used vehicle. we have two cars and we qualify for assistance. of course, ours are very old and have high mileage, so the worth is low. And, you know, apply... you can do it online in Texas. The worst thing they can say is no. You have nothing to lose and a lot to gain here.
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#26 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:34 PM
 
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I know it sucks, to get an expensive car, and then crap hits the fan.... Sure, you can sell it, but then get less than what you owe for it, and wind up making payments on something you no longer even have. (yup, we are going through it, too. We are just keeping the car.)

Can you do a paper route in the early am before dh takes the car for work? I imagine walking to do the route is out since you have toxemia and Gd... Do you have anyone to sell Avon to?
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#27 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:39 PM
 
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How bout getting a cheapo minivan that gets good gas mileage?

I had a VW Jetta that fit 3 cars seats in the back and got great milege! I have a CRV now but I looooved that Jetta. You don't need an SUV.
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#28 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:44 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by *MAMACITA* View Post
i would love to do daycare... but is it fair to do it for a couple months and then not. onc i have this baby?
Yes, it is fair. If you are taking care of an infant, just a few months of care could be a great help to a Mom starting going back to work. At a big daycare center, an infant will get all kinds of colds. In your home, fewer snuffles, which means less lost work for the Mom.

Check out craigslist.org, to find daycare options and try to sell the vehicle.

And by the way, you can refinance a vehicle. If you have a 3 year loan, you could get a 5-year. Ask your bank. If the vehicle is your only financial issue, and you would be fine without it, you can take it back to the dealer. After 7 years, your credit will be all better again, if this is the only default.
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#29 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:46 PM
 
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Yeah, sounds like an SUV will be expensive to purchase and run (gas, etc). My Camry has 3 carseats across the back, no problem.

I think when things are tight and even scary (as it sounds like it is) you have to figure out what you NEED (food, house, heat, clothes) and the rest has to wait.

How old are the kids? Are there 5 of you now, or does that include baby-to-be? When are you due?
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#30 of 107 Old 12-01-2006, 03:50 PM
 
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I can easily get 3 carseats across in my Taurus, it has a huge backseat. If you still want a bigger car I would def go for a cheaper and better gas mileage minivan than an SUV. Heck, unless you get one of those HUGE SUV's with the 3rd row they don't have any more room than many cars.

Rachel, mom to Jake (5/04) and Alexia (7/07) a surprise UC thanks to hypnobabies!
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