Poor Family Support Tribe- NO DEBATE - Page 19 - Mothering Forums
Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#541 of 832 Old 05-20-2007, 08:11 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
What's FCM?

I first found this thread via the New Posts feature, and then I subscribed to it. I always check my subscribed threads before I check New Posts.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#542 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 12:03 AM
 
Thystle's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 2,521
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
FCM = Financially Challenged Mama's.

It's a thread over in "Finding Your Tribe" that apparently has not been moved by a mod to here.

I think a few moms are a wee tad miffed because this thread was moved here from there.

Resistance is futile Matey
Thystle is offline  
#543 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 03:05 AM
 
mamamoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Eastern WA
Posts: 12,741
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was wondering why there can't be a financially challenged mamas tribe? Seems kind of weird to me. There are tribes for everything over there.

Oh, and it was moved over here. Just a matter of time I guess. LOL


Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
mamamoo is offline  
#544 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 03:19 AM
 
UberMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,534
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Delurking to say I lurk in both tribes.. here and over in FCM. I think anyone interested in this tribe could benefit from the other and vice versa.

Keep talkin' ladies.. I've been getting helpful ideas from this thread. I should join.. maybe one day, lol.
UberMama is offline  
#545 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 08:01 AM
 
sabrinat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 1,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think this is a more appropriate location. I NEVER go into FYT, but I come to MHM forum every day. I would have never found ya'll if it hadn't been moved,

Sabrina , mom to 4 fab kids!

sabrinat is offline  
#546 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 08:21 AM
 
JesseMomme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: not here anymore
Posts: 8,278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I was someone that was a little miffed to see this thread get moved here and have already been PMing mods about it asking it to move back.

And now the other one got moved here Go figure. I guess that is probably going to be my answer when I get a PM back.

If some mamas dont' care or prefer it to be here, then I can drop the issue What say you(s)?
JesseMomme is offline  
#547 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 11:33 AM
 
Satori's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Earth, I think, kids say Cybertron
Posts: 7,901
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 2 Post(s)
I think it belongs here to be honest. I think the only threads that are supposed to stay in FYT are the ones that don't have a forum they belong in. I rarely go into FYT and if the thread where there I never would have found it.

Seriously?
Satori is offline  
#548 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 12:12 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I don't think DS will be able to go to camp this summer. I just don't see how I'll be able to swing it.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#549 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 12:29 PM
 
josybear's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 3,267
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
ruthla, could you look into one of those 'send kids to camp' things? there's got to be a way. could you contact the camp to find out?

i couldn't care less where this thread is, so long as it exists.
josybear is offline  
#550 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 12:36 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by josybear View Post
ruthla, could you look into one of those 'send kids to camp' things? there's got to be a way. could you contact the camp to find out?

i couldn't care less where this thread is, so long as it exists.
I've been in contact with 3 different Gan Israel camps (Jewish day camps.) I contacted 2 different ones, one in my county (but further from my house) and one in one county over (but closer to my house). Then the mom of one of DS' classmates said to try this other one, also in the next county but a couple towns over from the one I contacted, telling me they have more financial aide available than the first one I contacted. Also, several classmates will be going to that camp.

I just spoke to them and they don't have any financial aide at all- either they never did, or they don't have any left this late in the year. They also don't have a 3 day a week program like the other one offered, and it would be awkard for him to be the only camper not there every day.

They only go swimming twice a week, and they only offer swim instruction once a week. I might do better signing him up for the town's swimming instruction, which is an hour a day for two weeks and repeats 4X over the summer- even if it requires signing up the whole family at the pool it will still be cheaper than a few weeks of camp. Or we can just do activities with the family, go to the beach, take the kids to the park, etc, and not be tied to any artificial schedual.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#551 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 01:56 PM
 
boysrus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: In an octopus' garden in the shade
Posts: 5,145
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I think this thread belongs here. I never go to FYT either. However, i hope it can stay in supportive mode.
Ruthla, I am sorry to hear that. Does your town have Park and Rec camps? Would you be open to that? They usually have scholarship money.
boysrus is offline  
#552 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 02:09 PM
 
JesseMomme's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: not here anymore
Posts: 8,278
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I still feel the thread belongs elsewhere, but I'm going to drop my efforts to move it and just enjoy the thread
JesseMomme is offline  
#553 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 07:47 PM
 
faerierose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Washington
Posts: 737
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
KBecks, Thank you for the thoughts, I typed a reply but ds reached up and turned off the computer before it got posted (I thought it made it through but I guess not). I have decided against going down there. Mainly because of a lack of resources in the area, the nearest specialists are hours away, the nearest CA early start center is hours away. Also I have to be very careful with ds's diet, it affects him greatly. If he ate the food that they eat he would never sleep, he has ataxia as well and it is tremendously worse when he is tired. Ultimately I just don't think it's worth it.
faerierose is offline  
#554 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 09:59 PM
 
Tradd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I've read pretty much this whole thread. Just wanted to say lots of good thoughts/prayers to you all. You're doing a fantastic job with what you've got on your plates/

I was reading this thread because I've got a very close friend and her family who are in a somewhat unsteady financial situation. They're able to pay their bills, but they have to pay for their own insurance, and things are very tight. They can't really save anything.

I might as well ask, how do you feel about friends occasionally sending you a check? I've done this recently for my friend's family. It's very clear it's a gift, not a loan ("Here's something I thought would come in handy.") Her DH was so thankful. They're like family to me. I'll occasionally take a meal or two over for the freezer (#2 is on the way). We trade stuff back and forth all the time. If we're decluttering, we'll first ask the other if we need whatever it is, especially books and kitchen stuff. We've both saved a lot this way.

lady.gif
Tradd is offline  
#555 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 11:25 PM
 
KBecks's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 2,002
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Amanda, sounds like you did a great job working out your decision. Thanks for the update.
KBecks is offline  
#556 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 11:34 PM
 
1growingsprout's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 2,791
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
I've read pretty much this whole thread. Just wanted to say lots of good thoughts/prayers to you all. You're doing a fantastic job with what you've got on your plates/

I was reading this thread because I've got a very close friend and her family who are in a somewhat unsteady financial situation. They're able to pay their bills, but they have to pay for their own insurance, and things are very tight. They can't really save anything.

I might as well ask, how do you feel about friends occasionally sending you a check? I've done this recently for my friend's family. It's very clear it's a gift, not a loan ("Here's something I thought would come in handy.") Her DH was so thankful. They're like family to me. I'll occasionally take a meal or two over for the freezer (#2 is on the way). We trade stuff back and forth all the time. If we're decluttering, we'll first ask the other if we need whatever it is, especially books and kitchen stuff. We've both saved a lot this way.

WE have friends who we share and declutter with... we've been known to take a plate/dish over as well....
I dont have friends who are close enough for 'family' to send us checks but i do have one dear friend that i would send a check to
1growingsprout is offline  
#557 of 832 Old 05-21-2007, 11:49 PM
 
oneKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 3,703
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ruthla~ I would probably sign your kid up for the local swim lessons. IME they are more structured and better organized than summer camp where swimming is usually just offered for fun.

We are doing OK around here, just not eating much. Our banker is nice-enough to drive up here to meet us this week instead of us driving to meet him. Glad for the break on gas! I cleaned the whole apartment this afternoon!

We also went "window shopping" for a fridge this afternoon. Who knew that a super-de-duper fridge could cost as much as either of our cars!?! I knew they were expensive but not THAT high. The one we want cost ~$1200! Bad thing is that we missed one in the paper last week for $500. I called about it, but it was already sold! The good ones go fast!
oneKnight is offline  
#558 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 08:42 AM
 
Purplehaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We just scored a $1200 fridge at Sears for $700, they are getting rid of last years models or something... it was a good deal, it is a BIG fridge tho! Can you do anything like that? Craigs list is hard to do unless you can go and pick it up... Have you considered used appliance stores? I went searching for one but got myself really lost and we really needed one here at the new place so just went and got this.

Ruthla, sounds like the swim lessons might be the thing. Around here they do them 4 days a week, so if they have to cancel one day (weather) they can do it that last day... but I hear you on the artificial schedule. I am sooo tired now of getting the kids up and out to school, I want a break from that! But I am also trying to not go broke on buying crafts kits and ideas... I am finding it harder to keep them busy that the oldest is almost 12 and the younger one is 5 1/2, but if I don't then the 2 boys will just fight all summer and that is not fun! In the past I have had one boy in camp every other week, so that I have peace in my home.... But this year I jsut can't afford that -either the camps nor the gas... so there are only 2 weeks they are signed up for things... A friend and I are getting together 4 of the weeks- 2 she will come here and 2 I will go to her and the kids can play, so that will help some, my kids love her kids...


Summer ideas anyone? For older kids? So far I have planned out, tye dying one day (with a friend) making "godseyes", stepping stones and there is one other thing I have planned but can't remember... we will be going to the library one day a week, so that will be cool but I need to come up with some mroe ideas.. I am also trying to come upw ith a cheap alternative to buying one of those shade tents... I really think if we can shade my back deck it would be a good thing...
Purplehaze is offline  
#559 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 08:45 AM
 
Tradd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Purplehaze View Post
Summer ideas anyone? For older kids? So far I have planned out, tye dying one day (with a friend) making "godseyes", stepping stones and there is one other thing I have planned but can't remember... we will be going to the library one day a week, so that will be cool but I need to come up with some mroe ideas.. I am also trying to come upw ith a cheap alternative to buying one of those shade tents... I really think if we can shade my back deck it would be a good thing...
Purplehaze, aside from the one day/week at the library, does your library have a summer reading program the kids can take part in? I know lots of libraries have them - the kids get prizes, the more they read, and often at the end of the program there is a free party with all sorts of good stuff.

lady.gif
Tradd is offline  
#560 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 08:47 AM
 
Tradd's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 3,160
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1growingsprout View Post
WE have friends who we share and declutter with... we've been known to take a plate/dish over as well....
I dont have friends who are close enough for 'family' to send us checks but i do have one dear friend that i would send a check to
I wasn't clear in my post. How do you FEEL when you get an unexpected check? Good thing, bad thing. I'm just sending them as an "I love you and want to help some" thing. I'm glad to help, but I'm not on the receiving end, so I don't know how it is.

lady.gif
Tradd is offline  
#561 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 09:01 AM
 
Purplehaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 526
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
will include the summer reading program. But around here it is a pretty "small" program, they read a book they get a sticker or something, I think, then at the end of summer a big ice cream party... we just moved so I hope I am wrong but this is a small town. But still i can't imagione it taking more than (maybe an hour) one day a week....
Purplehaze is offline  
#562 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 09:24 AM
 
Em T's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 256
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I read an excellent book may years ago written by a SAHM (sorry I can't remember title or details but it was in the 1970s & from thel library) with 4 children. She did a structured at home program duing the summer. One day a week they went to the park & swimming, one day they baked, one day they had friends over to play or went to visit friends, one day they went to museums, zoos, & other local attractions, one day they stayed home & cleaned + went to the grocery store. She said it helped a lot because they knew what to expect, it cut down on fussing in general & having the general outline in place made her get her ducks in a row, so she'd have ingredients on baking day, knew when the pool opened to make sure they left the house at the right time, called friends to double check they could come over & had some simple ideas for play when they did, that sort of thing. It was an excellent book.
Em T is offline  
#563 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 10:36 AM
 
ColoradoMama's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: mooning TAO
Posts: 10,094
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
bumping above the spam!
ColoradoMama is offline  
#564 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 10:56 AM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
I wasn't clear in my post. How do you FEEL when you get an unexpected check? Good thing, bad thing. I'm just sending them as an "I love you and want to help some" thing. I'm glad to help, but I'm not on the receiving end, so I don't know how it is.
I've never gotten checks, but I have gotten PayPal from other MDC memberes, and once a $200 gift card to a local supermarket from an anonymous MDC mama. Every time I've received something like that I just felt so overwhelmed and grateful and loved. I hate having to rely on charity but when I get a gift like that it just makes me feel really good.

I remember when I first started getting DS into cloth dipes, a bunch of people online (I was someplace other than MDC at the time) sent me their hand-me-down diapers and covers. One of the mamas included a $20 bill with the box of diapers. I felt grateful and happy and appreciative, but when my Mom saw that she had something negative to say about it- it had never even occurred to me to be offended by a gift of cash until she made that comment. Since then, I have NOT shared my joy with her when I get a gift of cash or a GC for food.

"Borrowing" from my parents isn't the same feeling. Grateful that the help is available, yes, but there seem to be invisible strings attached, mostly of my own making.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#565 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 11:52 AM
 
mamamoo's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Eastern WA
Posts: 12,741
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ruthla View Post
I've never gotten checks, but I have gotten PayPal from other MDC memberes, and once a $200 gift card to a local supermarket from an anonymous MDC mama. Every time I've received something like that I just felt so overwhelmed and grateful and loved. I hate having to rely on charity but when I get a gift like that it just makes me feel really good.

I remember when I first started getting DS into cloth dipes, a bunch of people online (I was someplace other than MDC at the time) sent me their hand-me-down diapers and covers. One of the mamas included a $20 bill with the box of diapers. I felt grateful and happy and appreciative, but when my Mom saw that she had something negative to say about it- it had never even occurred to me to be offended by a gift of cash until she made that comment. Since then, I have NOT shared my joy with her when I get a gift of cash or a GC for food.

"Borrowing" from my parents isn't the same feeling. Grateful that the help is available, yes, but there seem to be invisible strings attached, mostly of my own making.

Exactly what she said.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
mamamoo is offline  
#566 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 12:08 PM
 
Ruthla's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 47,873
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 3 Post(s)
I'm so bummed again. Remember the bounced check to the debtors, that I thought maybe went through but with an overdraft fee from the bank, since the debt UA violations hadn't called me about it? Well, they called me today to tell me that the check dated May 2nd bounced. I really don't know what to do.

Well, at least my cordless phone is set to "talk" and is at the bottom of the bathroom hamper. I can make calls from my cell phone, and anybody important can call me on there as well. I can't deal with any more calls from him today.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
Ruthla is offline  
#567 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 01:17 PM
 
Nature's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: In Aspieville
Posts: 6,537
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Ugh debt calls suck. Bill collectors calling at 11pm stink too. : I know if anyone calls and asks for my full first name, they're bill collectors. I just take a message for her. Funny.. she never seems to be home.

treehugger.gifAutistic pagan mama with five kiddos on the spectrum, learning through living life. autismribbon.gif  computergeek2.gif

Nature is offline  
#568 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 03:53 PM
 
Gendenwitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Olympia WA
Posts: 1,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tradd View Post
I wasn't clear in my post. How do you FEEL when you get an unexpected check? Good thing, bad thing. I'm just sending them as an "I love you and want to help some" thing. I'm glad to help, but I'm not on the receiving end, so I don't know how it is.
After much talk about cultures, I think I've determined that this is something very based in my culture, but it's a combination of feeling grateful and horrible about myself if I can't give back. (My Swedish aunt has taught me well about what cultural neuances go with gift-giving and what a delicate task it is. My other aunt is African American and she just doesn't get us, she thinks we're crazy. )

Holidays and birthdays it doesn't matter so much as long as I'm giving a gift back, even if they aren't of equal value. We used to celebrate Yule with a couple who were older, kid grown, who gave fairly expensive gifts or gift cards. That felt fine because "the kids" (us 20-somethings) would give handmade crafts, or baked goods. But it went both ways.
Hand-me-downs and de-cluttering are okay too because by taking it you're doing them a favor, and the assumption is that when you're done with it, you can give it away to someone else... unlike a gift.
Gendenwitha is offline  
#569 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 03:58 PM
 
Gendenwitha's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Olympia WA
Posts: 1,449
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by LankyLizards View Post
Oh yeah, I agree. That was Oprah's conclusion, not mine. Though, being a college student, I am really hoping that my education will not be in jest.
...another college student hoping the same thing!!

My life:
: : :
Gendenwitha is offline  
#570 of 832 Old 05-22-2007, 07:33 PM
 
MamaPam's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,513
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I thought I'd say hi as I have been one of those who has been reading the thread and following along but not posting. Its nice to know we are not alone. We barely don't qualify for Foodstamps (by like $100) It would actually be easier if we made a little less. We moved back to where we are right before Christmas. Our family is 14 hours away but we are living where we are so DH can hopefuly start his masters degree in the Fall. We have debt some medical some cc from when DH was only working part time. Not being able to keep money in savings combined with the condition of our cars is our biggest problem. DH has an interview for a 2nd part time job today to hopefully help in the short term. We need the money but it will be very stressful for everyone too. This suport thread/tribe was a great idea.

-Pam
MamaPam is offline  
Reply

Quick Reply
Message:
Drag and Drop File Upload
Drag files here to attach!
Upload Progress: 0
Options

Register Now

In order to be able to post messages on the Mothering Forums forums, you must first register.
Please enter your desired user name, your email address and other required details in the form below.
User Name:
If you do not want to register, fill this field only and the name will be used as user name for your post.
Password
Please enter a password for your user account. Note that passwords are case-sensitive.
Password:
Confirm Password:
Email Address
Please enter a valid email address for yourself.
Email Address:

Log-in

Human Verification

In order to verify that you are a human and not a spam bot, please enter the answer into the following box below based on the instructions contained in the graphic.



User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may post new threads
You may post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off