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#121 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 12:34 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Selesai View Post
Potty Diva-- what kind of car do you drive? We drive Fords. My experience is the check engine light comes on only when there is an emissions problem. Mine's been on for 2 years. I won't get it fixed until I have to go do my emissions test again. This happens often to other ford owners, too. So it may not really matter. You could call your mechanic and say "my light is on, what COULD it be." Hopefully they would give you a brief rundown.
Hope that helps.

Also everyone I know has been driving around with the darned check engine light on for years. LOL.
If you have an Auto Zone type of place, you can take it in and for free they will hook up a comouter thingy that will read out a code as to whats causing it and tell you.
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#122 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 12:36 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KentuckyDoulaMama View Post
Dh's boss owes him commission on $83,000.00 worth of jobs dh has sold in the past couple of months but keeps dragging his feet about getting the check to him and gets on dh's case about it when dh does mention it (can we say control freak boss here?) and dh is tired of begging for it so dh wont ask anymore for it, even if it means we wont be eating tonight. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR......
I'd report the boss to the Kentucky Department of Labor http://labor.ky.gov/ I don't believe that he can legally withhold commissions earned.
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#123 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 12:59 PM
 
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PD- We had our check engine light go on on our focus awhile back (nearly made me have a nervous breakdown). Dh was able to go to AutoZone and borrow thier plug in checker thingy and he just plugged it into the dash right under the steering wheel and he go the to codes from it. Then he went inside and looked into a book they had and an employee helped him translate it and figured out that we only need a $30 something and that we could wait a little while to get it. I don't know if you could try to do this, but I thought I would suggest it. We caled a bodyshope before hand and they said they would have charged us $200 to do the same thing! I swear I only try to help with advice from personal experience and what not, and I really hope you don't take anything I have posted as critizism

I want to incourage everyone to check out their local freecycle. We have been helped out by such generous people there. I just find a wonderful community of low income/frugal people who can be very generous. KDM- I would post asking for some shoes for your dd and maybe you could even ask for food. I've even had my computer fixed and was offered help with my car repair (but I didn't end up needing it). You can also barter stuff there or on your local craigslist.

I also don't know if anyone else has something like this around, but in our town we have several homes for developementally disable adults. Where you can work graveyard shifts where you can either study or sleep. This has really helped our family out. I know we wouldn't be making it if dh had to work fulltime in hard labor and then handle all his hard classes on top of it.

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#124 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Ok mamas. We had a HUGE fight. When DH gets stressed he starts thinking about everything in his entire life that has ever gone wrong, and I mean everything. He keeps asking why do all these bad things happen to him.

While I was saying, wow, at least I don't have classes tomorrow. He took Kailey to school this morning in my car.

I called MIL and told her what happened and I let her scold me a little I wasn't calling for anything more than commisseration, but it looks like we will be getting a car today. Mark's aunt came over and took me to the dealership. I am crying because I am so thankful. We could be getting an Avalon or a Mercury. Both cars have low mileage and will last longer than the pieces of crap we have purchased for 12-1500 dollars.

I have called so many people about help and am making a real budget. I have canceled netflix (darn DH!) and was going to down grade cable but because we actually got a deal when we signed up we would be paying more for down grade.

I feel EMPOWERED!

DH needs to know that when things are against us is when we need to come together as a family and plow through the rough spot, but that means each of us doing our part, not just me holding everyone together.

Thanks for your ideas and input. I'm actually looking at more ways to be frugal with making our own cleaning products, dish soap, etc

Oh and a garden sounds GREAT! Kailey and I would love to work in the garden together!
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#125 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:13 PM
 
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YAY PottyDiva!

That's fantastic news!
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#126 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:23 PM
 
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Originally Posted by KentuckyDoulaMama View Post
dnw: Awww thanks. But her foot is anywhere from a 9-10 and usually a wide width, hard to fit her for shoes
Sorry. I wish I could help. They are wides. My feet are very wide.

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#127 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:50 PM
 
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I'd report the boss to the Kentucky Department of Labor http://labor.ky.gov/ I don't believe that he can legally withhold commissions earned.

Yeah...well, dh wont do that- he'd be fired for sure. Believe me I've brought it up to him many times. Heck, I'm about to do it myself, in the end though it'd be like shooting ourselves in the foot....
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#128 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:51 PM
 
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Sorry. I wish I could help. They are wides. My feet are very wide.
thanks anyhow!
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#129 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:53 PM
 
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Potty Diva-- what kind of car do you drive? We drive Fords. My experience is the check engine light comes on only when there is an emissions problem. Mine's been on for 2 years. I won't get it fixed until I have to go do my emissions test again. This happens often to other ford owners, too. So it may not really matter. You could call your mechanic and say "my light is on, what COULD it be." Hopefully they would give you a brief rundown.
Hope that helps.
Ducking out again...
Yup. They run a diagnostic test on it to check the cars computer to see what the problem is. The check engine light has nothing to do with the engine. That much I know. Its all about the emissions of the car. Our light has been on since the day we bought it.

Car update... tried to get it taken in today and the mechanic told us previously that the windshield wiper arm needed to be replaced. So I paid extra to get the part. Turns out the wiper arm was fine. Its a new motor we need. Soo... I'll have to wait a week for that. The wipers don't even turn on now. Problem is, we have no idea how to install a new wiper motor. Ugh. I hate being so daft about cars.

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#130 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 01:57 PM
 
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KDM, do you have a Payless near you? (Or a Shopko? Sometimes they have a small Payless in their store.)

LMK
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#131 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 02:44 PM
 
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soooo.....if you hear on the news about a woman in KY who plunged off of a very high bridge today......it was me.
:

This morning started off difficult. Very hard, situation looking pretty bleak, darned near impossible.

Then I checked on our bank account online again a little while ago.

Seems that the deposit we made last night was 12 mins after the cut off (which was due to getting stuck behind a traffic accident on the way to the bank) which in effect has now put the account into the hole to the tune of almost $400.00 due to many overdraft charges of 35.00 each.

I called the bank, explained, pleaded, begged, and yes, even cried.....all it got me was a "sorry ma'am, the deposit was after our cut off, nothing we can do."

So, this morning, while things looked bad, things like groceries, the electric bill and the rent might have been okay with some quick action like the big yard sale this weekend, pawning of wedding rings, ect....

Now things ARE impossible. We might have been able to overcome things before the bank account bouncing issues, but now that sets us back about $400.00 more.

Dh and I had a huge fight, actually three of them on the phone in the last hour.
I have to get a fulltime job. Finishing nursing school will have to wait for some other time in my life I guess.
Life sucks.
I have been battling a strep infection (my kids had strep) but I cant get to the doc to get an antibiotic, my antidepressant has run out, I feel like crap on top of feeling like crap.

Situation is hopeless, totally hopeless.

I quit. I cant do this anymore.

I only hope there is enough gas in my car to drive to the very high bridge....

Welcome to another day in the life of America's working poor trying to hold it together one more day, hoping and praying for a miracle.
I dont recommend the lifestyle to anyone.



BTW, just kidding about the bridge.....sort of... I guess.....maybe I'll just go take a nap, I'm afraid of heights anyhow.
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#132 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 02:53 PM
 
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Why on earth do banks charge so much money to the very people who can least afford it? Dammit, charge the RICH all these stupid fees and maybe they'll have to cancell a vacation. Charge us (who are more likely to be overdraft because we can't leave an extra $1,000 or two in the bank as a cushion) and we can't do things like eat. Or buy fuel for the car. Or pay the rent. How is it legal for banks to do this?

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18, and Jack, 12
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#133 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:05 PM
 
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KDM, do you have a Payless near you? (Or a Shopko? Sometimes they have a small Payless in their store.)

LMK
yes, payless in the city. funny, thats where I just returned them to yesterday!
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#134 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:06 PM
 
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Let's look at this situation one issue at a time.

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Originally Posted by KentuckyDoulaMama View Post
...I checked on our bank account online again a little while ago.

Seems that the deposit we made last night was 12 mins after the cut off (which was due to getting stuck behind a traffic accident on the way to the bank) which in effect has now put the account into the hole to the tune of almost $400.00 due to many overdraft charges of 35.00 each.

1. I called the bank, explained, pleaded, begged, and yes, even cried.....all it got me was a "sorry ma'am, the deposit was after our cut off, nothing we can do."

2. So, this morning, while things looked bad, things like groceries, the electric bill and the rent might have been okay with some quick action like the big yard sale this weekend, pawning of wedding rings, ect....

3. Now things ARE impossible. We might have been able to overcome things before the bank account bouncing issues, but now that sets us back about $400.00 more.

1. Did you speak to the teller, or someone with some actual authority? I have a sister who works in a bank, and the tellers have no power to do anything regarding fees, et cetera. Ask to speak to the president of the bank. (I always go straight to the top - never bother with minions. )

2. Can you still take all the fundraising steps you were planning to take this weekend, and just use the money to buy money orders (85 cents each at any post office) to pay the bills in question? When is your husband's next payday? If his paycheque is not Direct-Deposited, you can take it to the bank it's drafted on and cash it, then use that cash to purchase more money orders.

3. Just push the "pause" button on your chequing account right now. If you've spoken to the bank and told them what your situation is, and they won't budge, just let them know that you will clear up the problem at your first opportunity, but there's really nothing you can do about it right at the moment.

HTH.
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#135 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:17 PM
 
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Oh man. Huge for KDM! My ex and I had the same problem with our old bank (Wachovia). Once, we made a few smallish purchases around the area of $2-$5, maybe three of them?? Then we went and bought our mattress that cost us a few hundred... we had saved up and borrowed from my mom for the mattress. If the bank had put the purchases through in the order that we bought them, the small charges would have gone through first and the mattress would have overdrafted by about $20, and we would have had ONE overdraft fee. Instead, they put the large one in first and then the 3 little ones... So we got 3 overdraft fees instead of one. It was rediculous. I mean, yeah... my ex was bad with money and didn't balance the checkbook like he should have... but talk about the bank capitalizing on that! Geez... I still owe something like $150 to that bank because my ex overdrafted after I left. It's in both our names, but because I set up the account while he was off at work, I'm the primary person there. So they've been bothering me about the debt instead of my ex. :

Quote:
I called MIL and told her what happened and I let her scold me a little...
Dude... I haaaaaaate that. My family gets all annoyed that I don't go to them for help sometimes when I really need it. It's totally because of the whole scolding thing! Why on earth would I feel comfortable asking for help if I know I'm going to get shamed when I am doing the best I can with what I have!?!? Grrr. Hooray for Teresa on the car though!

*ETA* I want to second the money order idea for KDM. Oftentimes, you can pay your utilities at local grocery stores or whatnot and completely avoid the bank all together. I went bank-less for a while and I actually prefer it that way.
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#136 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:32 PM
 
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We don't use the bank for that very reason. Once when I was pregnant, we bought a lot of big ticket items. (when I was married before to a rich snobby boy... different life.. and I'm glad I left it.) Well.. my pregnant brain misplaced a receipt.. not a small one. One for $800. Ya. We bounced close to 100 things. It was horrible. I swore off using debit cards and checks forever.

We do have a debit card, but we don't use it as one. Rarely I'll put money in the account, simply so I can use the card online or something. We have never used it as a checking. I use it more like a savings. We deposit money in there that are for bills. We take the money out when we need it, and we get money orders at the grocery store. Utility bills are paid at a ready cash place that charges a dollar but its an instant transfer which is good for when we have disconnects to pay.

We do use the bank to cash my SSDI checks because the grocery store started charging $3 dollars per check, and thats $12 dollars that I hated seeing go to waste. So we cash those at the bank for free. If needed tho, we would go back to the grocery store.

Banks stink. Right along with mechanics.

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#137 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:39 PM
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My check engine light comes on all the time and there's nothing wrong with the engine. There is something wrong with the wiring and that makes the light come on, but it's not a big deal.
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#138 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 03:50 PM
 
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Why on earth do banks charge so much money to the very people who can least afford it? Dammit, charge the RICH all these stupid fees and maybe they'll have to cancell a vacation. Charge us (who are more likely to be overdraft because we can't leave an extra $1,000 or two in the bank as a cushion) and we can't do things like eat. Or buy fuel for the car. Or pay the rent. How is it legal for banks to do this?
: Exactly, Ruthla!

I have to get angry here for a moment. I am so aggravated that people can spend their whole lives working their off and never get anywhere because there is no livable minimum (or slightly thereabove) wage in the US, yet too many of the rich barely do anything, but they sure don't mind looking down on the poor. Like I said, my dad was wealthy. I saw how much work he didn't do, compared to those who broke their backs every day just to struggle to feed their families. It's completely infuriating and unacceptable that this is not only allowed, but continues to be "the norm". *pulls hair out*

It's doubly infuriating that I hear wives of those wealthy men say things like, "I get so upset when I see mothers working outside the home so they can afford things like cable TV. Don't they know what they're doing to their kids?"

Don't they see how patronizing that is? It's not like poor moms say, "Damn, I want cable, guess I'll go back to work!" It's often a choice of whether or not the kids get fed and the bills get paid... and sometimes there's enough left over from a second job to afford cable or another "luxury" if they so wish. I've yet to hear someone say to a perspective employer, "Well, yes, I need this job so my kids can have food and shelter, but don't make my wage so large that I can have an extra or two. JUST the basics, please." ARGH! And if a mother is going back to school to make a better life for herself, she should be applauded and supported, not told that "I see so much in your budget that is unnecessary".

If a mom can stay home with her kids in today's economy, it's a BLESSING. It shouldn't be that way, but it is. Veiled comments to the contrary are just so unnecessary and unappreciated.
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#139 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 04:44 PM
 
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Why on earth do banks charge so much money to the very people who can least afford it? Dammit, charge the RICH all these stupid fees and maybe they'll have to cancell a vacation. Charge us (who are more likely to be overdraft because we can't leave an extra $1,000 or two in the bank as a cushion) and we can't do things like eat. Or buy fuel for the car. Or pay the rent. How is it legal for banks to do this?
I have to get in on this rant. I am pretty sure that I have personally funded a few salaries on my bounced check charges ($37?). Always stupid stuff, too. Like we were in that Save the Change program. Which meant it was impossible to balance your book and then it'd take out like $.10 and a check would bounce! SO aggravating!

It's legal because they have lobbyists who buy their rights. What do the lower classes have? ........

I can't think of anyone.

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#140 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:26 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My.MIL.Just.bought.us.a.car!

I.am.shocked!


My heart is overflowing with love for her. She is in Texas and purchased it over the phone using her credit card.

1997 Toyota Avalon drop
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#141 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:28 PM
 
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Congratulations!!!! Doesn't it feel good to have a huge weight lifted?

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#142 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:31 PM
 
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My.MIL.Just.bought.us.a.car!

I.am.shocked!


My heart is overflowing with love for her. She is in Texas and purchased it over the phone using her credit card.

1997 Toyota Avalon drop
That is awesome!!
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#143 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:41 PM
 
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oh YAY!!!!!

Congratulations!!!!!


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#144 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:42 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am freaking out. I just stare at it.

She really does love us? Unbelievable.

I wish I could share this with you all. I'd chop up the car in as many bits as we would need and send each of you a piece.


Ok I'm a little wackety - woo.
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#145 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 07:45 PM - Thread Starter
 
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And it was from a used car dealer so I am freaking out in a good and bad way. Good because of MIL, bad because I am waiting for the thing to fall apart as I back out of the driveway.
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#146 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 08:21 PM
 
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Man I am soooo glad to read about other people's check engine lights. Ours has been on and I've been freaking out about it. It's the only vehicle we have and it's not even really ours. My brother is letting us buy it from him, even though we haven't paid him a dime for it in two years :.
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#147 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 08:39 PM
 
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: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#148 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Also found out about student and teacher car insurance (discounts!)

Oh and we will be getting together more often with Mark's family.

Did I mention it was his aunt (her name is Oveeter- I LOVE that name) who drove me back and forth to get the car (Mark was at work)?
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#149 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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Oh and we will be getting together more often with Mark's family.
That is great! When we first got married, we ate far better for visiting generous family for dinner. Then again, my family is also better at cooking than me so the benefits went beyond financial.

Katie, mama to one big boy (6/03) and one little boy (12/08).
It is never the wrong time to do the right thing.
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#150 of 832 Old 04-24-2007, 10:43 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh and since I have an abundance of positive energy I am sending it out into the universe for you all to catch!
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