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Old 04-27-2007, 10:33 AM
 
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We've had our share of crappy caseworkers too, and even the receptionists have been crappy!

Ruthla, can you wear an old suit with a really really long shirt over it? I did that a few summers ago. If you plan to go swimming a lot though, it might make more sense to buy a new one.
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Old 04-27-2007, 01:08 PM
 
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Thing is, if I wear an old suit with a shirt over it, then what do I need the suit for?

None of my t-shirts go longer than mid-thigh length, which is the length of my old skirted suits. And then I'm back to the old problem of not wanting to go in the water in cotton clothes that will get soggy and feel gross.

I was thinking about it in the car today and I think I might take another shot at sewing my own. The last time I tried to make my own swimsuit (and failed miserably) I was trying to make a tank-style suit that had to be perfectly fitted and would be messed up if I was 1/4 inch off somewhere. Now I'm looking to make a dress with matching leggings out of bathing suit fabric- a much simpler proposition. I already have a pattern for a long sleeved t-shirt (it came with a jumper pattern that I wanted and still haven't used) and it's well within my skills to lenthen the shirt pattern into an a-line dress pattern. So I just need to get a pattern for capris and I'll be set.

I need to price it out and figure out how much the fabric, thread, and elastic will cost. I could even make a matching hat!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 04-27-2007, 03:55 PM
 
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He just paid me for 2 months + some back pay with his tax return. Now that he's working again (starting monday) he should be able to pay child support on time for the foreseeable future!

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 04-27-2007, 05:35 PM
 
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Thing is, if I wear an old suit with a shirt over it, then what do I need the suit for?

None of my t-shirts go longer than mid-thigh length, which is the length of my old skirted suits. And then I'm back to the old problem of not wanting to go in the water in cotton clothes that will get soggy and feel gross.

I was thinking about it in the car today and I think I might take another shot at sewing my own. The last time I tried to make my own swimsuit (and failed miserably) I was trying to make a tank-style suit that had to be perfectly fitted and would be messed up if I was 1/4 inch off somewhere. Now I'm looking to make a dress with matching leggings out of bathing suit fabric- a much simpler proposition. I already have a pattern for a long sleeved t-shirt (it came with a jumper pattern that I wanted and still haven't used) and it's well within my skills to lenthen the shirt pattern into an a-line dress pattern. So I just need to get a pattern for capris and I'll be set.

I need to price it out and figure out how much the fabric, thread, and elastic will cost. I could even make a matching hat!

Just wanted to say that that sounds awesome! I also like the idea of selling the other two suits to buy the one. When ever I want something that is solely for be, something that I could really use, but don't necessarily "need" I usually sell something I'm not using to fund it .

Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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Old 04-27-2007, 08:57 PM
 
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I don't think I could get more than $5 for my REALLY old, worn out suit- it's threadbare in places. The Land's End tankini top and swim mini I could probably get something decent for- but I'd like to hang onto them until the homemade one is complete so I have it for backup. I might even use the tankini top under the swim dress as "swim underwear."

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 04-28-2007, 12:46 AM
 
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There are a bunch of swimsuits in the 'not quite perfect' section of the Lands End catalog right now. One-piece starting at $13, and also little skirts to wear over your suit. (Not sure how modest you need to be.) Not quite thrift store prices, but better than $65 and will probably last you a long time.

http://www.landsend.com/cd/ov/line/0...22737867181070

Sign up for the Lands End email alerts first--they are sending out codes for free shipping until Mother's Day and maybe you will get one.

Eddie Bauer Outlet also has 'board shorts' you can wear over your suit.
http://www.eddiebaueroutlet.com/category.asp?nv=444|470
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Old 04-28-2007, 04:36 AM
 
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I saw some homeschool curriculum on the web for free. I'm not sure of the quality. (I think it was on hillbillyhousewife.) It looked religious based, but it could possibly be tweaked if that's not your thing. Maybe you could use some of it to help supplement?
Think this is just for WA state but there might be something like it in your area. It's a win-win for the schools. Because the student is considered a PS student they get funding for that student, but with almost none of the work.

Also, here at least, you can order their curriculum but if you say you're going to teach one subject or more without their stuff then you're considered a homeschooler (and no WASL standardized test).
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Old 04-28-2007, 04:32 PM
 
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Yeah, school, that seems to be the common denominator here and in most places.

We all go back to school to better ourselves and yet we can barely LIVE enough to FINISH school to BETTER ourselves and our situations

Chandi :
That's why I'm quitting. I can't LIVE like this, it's not worth killing myself for a few extra dollars.

I get $500/semester in grants, big whoop, and I have over $14,000 in student loans that I owe. Predictable income that bites back.
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Old 04-28-2007, 05:57 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I am so scared!!!
Mark took the new car today and I am so afraid he is going to wreck it.

He has distroyed EVERY car that we have owned. He punched the windshield when he was driving home from work pissed off (hedid it once he got home and was sitting in the car fuming), he keyed the upholstery of our cadillac cause he was mad, again at his work, he slashed the roof of the chevy cause e was mad, he pulled out into traffic cause he was daydreaming and totalled a car 2 years ago, he hit a pole at a gas station cause he was in too much of a hurry to wait for the guy in front of him to go, and the list goes on. He has been in 3 wrecks (before he met me) and has many, many tickets on his driving record.

And now I am petrified.

When he came home from his wreck (where he pulled into traffic) I was livid and even though he may have beenshaken up I yelled at him.

He is 32 yrs old and so thoughtless, yet I cannot leave until I finish school and get a teaching position- and I shouldn'have to uproot my daughter from her home. I am just so angry.

He refuses to get another job to make ends meet. Since I have homework each evening and *I* am the one who cleans and cooks and takes care of 90 percent of the household responsibilities I really think HE should get a part time job that he could work on the weekends. To bad he burned bridges when he left Fatz or he could have went back there (when he got his teaching job he just didn't shw up for his shift at the restaurant, and never called them although they called twice concerned about him and hoped he was ok, cause not showing up wasn't like him).

I am married to a child.

Oh and I had to NAG at him to call his mom and thank her for fronting the money for the car. And all he said when she asked if he was happy with it was, "oh yeah, thanks." And actually acted pissy about it.

I have called her nearly every day telling her about the car, blah, blah, blah.

I am so scared though right now.
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Old 04-28-2007, 06:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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he is a BAD driver. He doesn't start braking when he comes up on someone until he is 10 feet behind them (really close) and actually puts on his brakes when he coems to a GREEN light, talk about dangerous.

He is so busy daydreaming about the frickin civil war, or other historical things that he misses out on what is happening NOW.

Yes, he has depression but will not take medication. I actually had him committed 4 years ago and he went on and on how he knows depression is an illness and he needs to take care of himself and oh that lasted like a month after he was discharged. Then back to old lazy Mark.

I am tired and frustrated and one day I will leave, one day.
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Old 04-28-2007, 06:04 PM
 
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Sounds like he has a serious anger management problem.

My DH only hits the car when it won't start, at least then it's the car's "fault"

Daydreams while driving? Pulls out in front of everyone else? SO your DH is one of those people that burns up my brakes! There is no effin reason for me to have to leave 3 feet of my tires on the pavement just so your hubby and my family doesn't die in a wreck today. You honestly don't want to know all the bad things I would wish on him.
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Old 04-28-2007, 06:21 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Oh he hits the car when it's the car's fault to, as if that is going to fix it. He kicked the cadillac when we found out the air compressor needed to be replace (which is why we now have the Toyota).

The only thing he has done with us in the car is put his breaks on at green lights.

Even my mom and sister don't trust his driving. My sister came to visit and on the way home from the airport when we stopped for food she begged me to drive because she was so afraid.

My mom said pretty much the same thing when she came to visit, and it was about 4 years in between visits.

He wonders why I don't respect him when he does this crap.
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Old 04-28-2007, 06:51 PM
 
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that sounds so hard. my dh may be an apathetic idiot at times, but he generally at least tries and never does anything that dangerous and stupid. it sounds like he needs a reality check, big time. i hope something shakes him awake before it's too late.
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Old 04-28-2007, 11:49 PM
 
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There are a bunch of swimsuits in the 'not quite perfect' section of the Lands End catalog right now. One-piece starting at $13, and also little skirts to wear over your suit. (Not sure how modest you need to be.)
The suit I bought 3 years ago and is still in nearly mint condition is from Land's End- the tankini top and the swim mini were both from Land's End overstocks. A year or two ago I got a polyester t-shirt from the thrift store to wear over the suit for more coverage. I still feel half-naked going out like that, as I normally wear skirts past my elbows and skirts past my knees.

Potty Diva- how on earth does he still have a driver's liscence? I can only pray that he gets a huge ticket (even though I know you guys can't afford that) before he hurts somebody with his reckless driving.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 04-29-2007, 12:07 AM
 
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Ruthla...

Not sure how to order, and I"m not sure if this is correct, but from what I read, they have modest swimsuits (long sleeve, skirt, knee length leggings) from 45 dollars or so on closeout ... link below...

http://www.wholesomewear.com/slimmer-c.html
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Old 04-29-2007, 01:06 AM
 
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he is a BAD driver. He doesn't start braking when he comes up on someone until he is 10 feet behind them (really close) and actually puts on his brakes when he coems to a GREEN light, talk about dangerous.

He is so busy daydreaming about the frickin civil war, or other historical things that he misses out on what is happening NOW.

Yes, he has depression but will not take medication. I actually had him committed 4 years ago and he went on and on how he knows depression is an illness and he needs to take care of himself and oh that lasted like a month after he was discharged. Then back to old lazy Mark.

I am tired and frustrated and one day I will leave, one day.
I say the Toyota should be YOUR car.

Katie, mama to one big boy (6/03) and one little boy (12/08).
It is never the wrong time to do the right thing.
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Old 04-29-2007, 01:26 AM - Thread Starter
 
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We had a discussion this afternoon when he returned. Another thing is that he runs cars into the ground and doesn't listen for new sounds, etc. I noticed that the car surges ahead even when I am not excellerating and he says he didn't notice it, it is very noticeable. I don't think he is aware enough to take care of the car, ya know. At first he was really defensive and wanted to shut down immediately. He even commented that he doesn't understand why I don't trust him to take care of the car. I was dumbfounded.

Anyway, in the end he conceded that we want to keep the car in good shape that that because I drive farther each day and use more gas that I should take the car that gets better gas mileage.

The chevy is going to die soon and he will need a car of his own anyway. So we will start saving for that.

He changed his w-2 so we should be getting more money each month.
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:09 AM
 
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PD-My dh used to be a lot like that (as in driving recklessly). He didn't understand what he was putting in danger every time he drove that way. I had to explain and explain how important he was to me and our dd (only had one at the time) and that he couldn't afford to wreckless with his life and with ours. That we needed him to be around for us, and he needed to think about that before he got behind the wheel. It took lots of reminding him that he had precious cargo in that car weither we were in it with him or not. After a few months, he got a lot better, and now is a much safer driver. He does a lot better now, and doesn't drive when he's tired or angry. He was in two accident before I met him where he fell asleep at the wheel, and now I have made him very cautious about that. I think your dhs driving has a lot to do with his depression. I don't think that he cares enough about himself to be safe and cautious.


On a lighter note, is anyone else getting their EIC on thier monthly paychecks?

Sarah knit.gif married to Micah, mama to dd1 (9), dd2 (7) and ds (2). We love to homeschool.gif h20homebirth.gif goorganic.jpgchicken3.gif
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:25 AM
 
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Ruthla...

Not sure how to order, and I"m not sure if this is correct, but from what I read, they have modest swimsuits (long sleeve, skirt, knee length leggings) from 45 dollars or so on closeout ... link below...

http://www.wholesomewear.com/slimmer-c.html
Nope, the ones on sale have shorter sleeves and legs and only go up to a size Large. The "extended" style (longer sleeves and legs) in a 2X are $109

Believe me, I already checked out all the online bathing suit sources. I'm leaning towards sewing my own so I can make it exactly how I want it, in exactly the right size, for a minimum of cost.

Ruth, single mommy to Leah, 19, Hannah, 18 (commuting to college), and Jack, 13(homeschooled)
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Old 04-29-2007, 03:07 AM
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He has distroyed EVERY car that we have owned. He punched the windshield when he was driving home from work pissed off (hedid it once he got home and was sitting in the car fuming), he keyed the upholstery of our cadillac cause he was mad, again at his work, he slashed the roof of the chevy cause e was mad, he pulled out into traffic cause he was daydreaming and totalled a car 2 years ago, he hit a pole at a gas station cause he was in too much of a hurry to wait for the guy in front of him to go, and the list goes on. He has been in 3 wrecks (before he met me) and has many, many tickets on his driving record.
Wow, that's irresponsible. I don't think I'd put up with that, but you said you can't leave yet. That sucks. You don't let your kid in the car with him, do you?
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Old 04-29-2007, 12:09 PM
 
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I have to get angry here for a moment. I am so aggravated that people can spend their whole lives working their off and never get anywhere because there is no livable minimum (or slightly thereabove) wage in the US, yet too many of the rich barely do anything, but they sure don't mind looking down on the poor. Like I said, my dad was wealthy. I saw how much work he didn't do, compared to those who broke their backs every day just to struggle to feed their families. It's completely infuriating and unacceptable that this is not only allowed, but continues to be "the norm". *pulls hair out*
I've only read to page seven, but I wanted to comment on this. I feel like my family has been on both sides of this fence. We're not rich now, but we have finally made it well above the poverty line. We lived in poverty for the last several years, and I grew up very poor as well. We really didn't know where our next meal was going to come from some weeks. I had no car, no computer, no friends, a new baby, and I didn't know where to turn to get help.

My point is, that I KNOW what that is like. And now, we are on a track that will have us retiring wealthy. We are the same people that we were when we were poor. Rich people are not evil. They are not lazy. Neither are poor people. If you study America's "rich" (there is a good book out there, called The Millionaire Next Door) you will learn that most of them actually live very modestly. Most people don't even know they are wealthy. They worked hard, scrimped, and were very good with money. They come by it honestly. You mentioned a rich father who was lazy....that's just one person. I know some poor people who are lazy too. But I don't want to make generalizations about either group.
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Old 04-29-2007, 01:01 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My father was wealthy but he worked is arse off until the day he couldn't move his body (3 yrs before he died). He rebuilt (from the ground up) an entire car, working 8 hours a day when he was in his 60's. So, I'm sure many wealthy people don't lift a finger for the money they earn but just wanted to share that my dad is not one of then. My brother isn't either. He has two children (one with CP) and works his tail off. He is a business owner by day (auto repair shop, and is there 9 hours a day) and a longshoreman by night. He also travels with his oldest son to his raquetball games all across the country.

Me on the otherhand...

I don't work as hard as they do. I go to school and that is it. My husband is a teacher and that is it. We could each get weekend jobs and work in the evenings, but when would we see Kailey? When would I do homework or Mark do his planning? When would we do things as a family?
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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nak.........Teresa, my dh is also a teacher (2nd yr.) and I'm a student. For dh's first year of teaching, he was offered $21,500/yr. We had a HUGE amount of student loan debt, and we thought that this fancy new degree was going to bring in the big bucks--HA!. But He put in his time
(we were able to put our loans in hardship deferment) at that school, and they helped him get his next job which pays 10K more than that and also offers several extra stipend positions. I decided to find a part time job....I work for the YMCA, and I'm able to take my children with me....that gives us $500 extra a month, which is huge in our world! We decided that the way out of our situation was to get out of debt. If we didn't have all those payments, we might be able to actually make it!! We got on a written budget and we stuck with it. We were determined to generate more income and to live on less. We've used every extra dollar to start snowballing our debts....and a year later, we can finally breathe...we've killed off three debts, and are working on getting rid of our car loan. Debt is a killer on a small budget.....especially car loans and student loan debt. Most people can make it on a smaller budget, if they can be free of debt payments. (I said, MOST people, I know not everyone is in the same situation, so don't jump on me).

It was always frustrating how the other teachers at dh's school laughed about how ridiculously small the salaries were....they were all in dual-income households. None of them were actually supporting a family on that pitiful salary. But the pay only goes UP for teachers, so hang in there. At the least, he's building his resume so he can find something higher paying down the road.
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:30 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thanks Shirelle- AND last night I went online to get a free credit report and was able to see it online immediately.

I was amazed at how little I have on my credit! I have my student loan (new) some small bills from a hospital and 1500 for a capital one card. This really was good news and I don't feel so beat about my credit.

We can pay this off slowly but surely.

I tried to do mark's but someone it wouldn't let me? Anyway I am guessing we have a total of 6-8,000 in debt and that is it. We can work out a plan to reduce this I am sure. I feel much more confident!
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:56 PM
 
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We are the same people that we were when we were poor. Rich people are not evil. They are not lazy. Neither are poor people. If you study America's "rich" (there is a good book out there, called The Millionaire Next Door) you will learn that most of them actually live very modestly. Most people don't even know they are wealthy. They worked hard, scrimped, and were very good with money. They come by it honestly. You mentioned a rich father who was lazy....that's just one person. I know some poor people who are lazy too. But I don't want to make generalizations about either group.
Which was why I said yet too many rather than all. I do know many wealthy people who care about disadvantaged people, who do something to help them, and who work incredibly hard. Of course not all wealthy people are lazy or "evil". But there are those who are, and when you see so many of them it leaves a bad taste in your mouth. Many times I was told growing up that "poor people are poor because they want to be", meaning they choose not to work, or to have kids and sit on welfare. And it wasn't just my rich, lazy, "evil" father who said those things. That attitude is prevalent among the wealthy. Not every one of them thinks that way. But there are enough that do that it's a problem. (And I've seen it to be far worse among those who just inherit money, vs those who are self-made.)
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:58 PM
 
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Anyway I am guessing we have a total of 6-8,000 in debt and that is it. We can work out a plan to reduce this I am sure. I feel much more confident!
I've heard that lots of people like Dave Ramsey for budgeting and paying off debts. Hr has a radio show that might be broadcast in your area, or you can check out his books at the library.
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Old 04-29-2007, 03:53 PM
 
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Which was why I said yet too many rather than all. I do know many wealthy people who care about disadvantaged people, who do something to help them, and who work incredibly hard. Of course not all wealthy people are lazy or "evil". But there are those who are, and when you see so many of them it leaves a bad taste in your mouth.
Well certainly there are "bad" rich people, but why rant about them? They didn't do anything to you, and they don't have anything to do with that fact that you're poor. Their only crime is having more money than you. You have no idea how they came by that money, only that they have it, and you don't. It's not their fault that you struggle, so why lash out at that particular group of people?
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Old 04-29-2007, 03:54 PM
 
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I've heard that lots of people like Dave Ramsey for budgeting and paying off debts. Hr has a radio show that might be broadcast in your area, or you can check out his books at the library.
Yes, we are doing the Dave Ramsey plan, and it has completely changed our financial lives.
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Old 04-29-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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I have also lived on both sides. My family has money. They are not rich but all college grads making fairly good income. Me on the other hand, I'm poor. Which most of the time is ok. But I do feel looked down on by my family. I also have an AA from college but I don't work right now. I am preg. with #4 which is also out of the ordinary for my family! I think there are good people rich and poor and bad also. I just depends!

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Old 04-29-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Shirelle View Post
Well certainly there are "bad" rich people, but why rant about them? They didn't do anything to you, and they don't have anything to do with that fact that you're poor. Their only crime is having more money than you. You have no idea how they came by that money, only that they have it, and you don't. It's not their fault that you struggle, so why lash out at that particular group of people?
Because, when people like that, people who have money and flaunt it around talking about how poor people want to be poor it hurts. When you are working your butt off trying to keep your family about water people saying things like that just makes you want to vent. Which is what this thread is for, not debating. I really don't see why you are critizing someone for their choice of words when they are obviously having a hard time right now. This is a tribe thread not an advice thread for mamas who are having a though time right now.

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