How to throw a REALLY cheap baby shower - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So I just got off the phone with a friend who asked me "when are we getting together to plan (a third friends) shower!"

WHAT!! I barely see this girl, she never even showed up at my baby showers(yes multiple lol), now Im throwing her a shower...

to make things worst were trying to buy a new house right now, so were actually living with dp parents and when I asked friend(lives in an apt) "where are we having it?" She replied well if you and Brock havent bought a house by then cant we have it in you inlaws backyard! WHAT!

and when I asked well how many she replied alot! BOTH family sides and all friends!!!!

Im a little stressed, i dont mind doing it BUT i cant afford to so PLEASE PLEASE help!

Any cheap punch recipes, decorating ideas, food ideas???? Any ideas would help

ps the friend throwing it with me doesnt have much money either!

mommy daddy son daughter = our family
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#2 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:26 PM
 
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Hmmm...my mom and aunts are pros at throwing showers. Let me email them and I'll post later what they say. My friend has a punch recipe that uses Jello as a base, I will get that, too.

As for decorations, I went to a shower for one of the wives of a guy in DH's squadron, and they had made big flowers out of tissue paper that were so cute, I remember doing that in grade school. Also, balloons are a cheap way to decorate. Once at my church, we threw a shower for a lady that was having boy, and me and my best friend brought lots of "boy" toys (trucks, trains, tractors, and the like) and set them around for decoration. Definitely try to use stuff you already have.

I don't know if you're using paper goods, but stuff like that (plates, napkins) can be had at dollar stores for cheap.

As far as snacks, I would stay basic. You can have cake squares (sheet cakes cut into squares, decorated if you like), nuts, mints, cheese and crackers. We live in the South, and have always done floating showers, so nobody expects a big meal, just snacks.

I will post more when I get in touch with my mom. I hope some of this may help!
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#3 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:31 PM
 
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Practice this word with me
NO

Say it again
NO

Now say it to your friend.
You are under no obligation to throw anyone a baby shower. Especially someone who you aren't even close to.
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#4 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:31 PM
 
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Oh, yeah, I just thought of this. Instead of buying expensive invitations, print up a flyer-type invite on your computer and use some baby-ish clip art and make copies of that and use regular business envelopes to mail.
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#5 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:35 PM
 
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Could you add to the invitations for everyone to bring a favorite snack/appetizer dish? Then maybe you would only have to provide drinks and plates/napkins etc.

-Pam
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#6 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:37 PM
 
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I am going to go with the "Just say NO" too and SHAME on your friend for "bulldozing" you into it! Does she know things are tight for you and that the third friend has not shown up at yours? What friend in their right mind would do that to another friend????


Seriously... my first thought would be to say no. Let the other friend do it.






If you decide to go ahead, make that other friend find a place or pay for things. WHo says you have to?






On the last note if none of this does anything for you.... I held a baby shower at a library once for a $10 rental fee. And then I made snacks myself and bought paper supplies at the Dollar Store.





But seriously.... why are you letting this friend do this and why did you say yes?????







.

Resistance is futile Matey
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#7 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:38 PM
 
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First, I'd like to suggest gently backing out. Maybe a statement like "Unfortunately, with our housing circumstances, I am not able to committ to planning the party (friend's name) deserves." -
If this is not an option...I wonder if this would work:

We've been doing "celebrations" or "blessingway's" for the momma's in our AP group. The details are POTLUCK, Bring a Frozen Meal for the mom, and bring a bead for the birth necklace. For example, If I were invited , I could make a Huge batch of Mac and Cheese, some for the potluck and some for a frozen meal.

Your friend gets a freezer full of meals for postpartum, you get Food help.

Odds and Ends:
1. We get a flower bouquet. (Grocery stores have nice ones)
2. We provide the drinks (usually a nice punch, some water, lemonade, iced tea- all inexpensive)
3. No decorations other than the flowers.

oops...gotta go - little ones are having issues over legos LOL.

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#8 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:41 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boysrus View Post
Practice this word with me
NO

Say it again
NO

Now say it to your friend.
You are under no obligation to throw anyone a baby shower. Especially someone who you aren't even close to.
:
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#9 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 04:44 PM
 
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Quote:
The details are POTLUCK, Bring a Frozen Meal for the mom, and bring a bead for the birth necklace. For example, If I were invited , I could make a Huge batch of Mac and Cheese, some for the potluck and some for a frozen meal.

Your friend gets a freezer full of meals for postpartum, you get Food help.

Odds and Ends:
1. We get a flower bouquet. (Grocery stores have nice ones)
2. We provide the drinks (usually a nice punch, some water, lemonade, iced tea- all inexpensive)
3. No decorations other than the flowers.


That sounds like a perfect shower to me. My friends want to throw me a shower for #2 but I've been resisting for a number of reasons. But the above, that sounds absolutely lovely.
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#10 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:08 PM
 
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Dollar store for invitations and paper goods.

As for all those people she wants you to invite- well have them all bring food!!! Figure out how many are coming and decide - say you have 20 people coming (always assume some will not be able to cook or whatever...) but ask 5 for salads, 5 for finger sandwiches, 5 for desserts, 3 for drinks and 2 for appetizers- or some such thng- what ever YOU decide, but this way no one person is carrying too much of the load! Get some Dollar store ballones and with ALL the paper goods, balloons and invites you and the other friend should be able to get by on $20, that is $10 each, maybe SPLURGE on some $2.99 Aldi flowers (? but really not neccisary) then get her a $10 gift and you should be all set, for $20 (each of you) .... Also save on invites- find out who is on e-mail and one of you handle the e-mail invites and the other one handle the real invites....
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#11 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:08 PM
 
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I wouldn't throw a party for someone who didn't even show up for mine.

I never see the point of baby showers anyway, since I wouldn't be able to get my friends to give me CD's or AP friendly stuff. AH but that is not the point.

THIS is actually what I wanted to say :
Quote:
I am going to go with the "Just say NO" too and SHAME on your friend for "bulldozing" you into it! Does she know things are tight for you and that the third friend has not shown up at yours? What friend in their right mind would do that to another friend????
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#12 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:09 PM
 
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I would call back and tell you can't do it. And practice saying no. As Eleanor Roosevelt said "No one can take advantage of you without your consent."
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#13 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:25 PM
 
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Just say "no".

Call her back and tell her that now is not a good time for you to be throwing any kind of party.

If she is rude and keeps pressing you to have the shower I would be blunt. Just say I am not really good friends with XYZ, I don't have the money to throw a shower and I am not forcing my parents to host a party for a bunch of people that they don't know!!!!

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#14 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:31 PM
 
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I was downright SHOCKED to get to the end of your post! I was totally expecting a "how do I say NO" thing, rather than "how do I throw a cheap shower"!



Really... I would be pretty miffed being bulldozed like that.
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#15 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 05:48 PM
 
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Moving is almost as stressful as losing a parent (so I read somewhere, and I believe it). Add on living with ILs. :

Say NO. Practice. Of course a PP had a graceful way of doing it.

Amy at Stone Fence Farm
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#16 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 06:26 PM
 
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If you really, really can't say no, then I'd do a frugal shower.

Seriously, I threw a baby shower for an acquaintance of mine because I knew she and her DH were strapped for cash and the baby was an unexpected second child.

I hostessed in my house and didn't decorate at all. We had healthy snacks (fruit juice, water, whole wheat muffins with fruit, bean dip, and crackers) and I suggested to guests that gifts be something to ease the mother's first few weeks. I suggested gifts of frozen meals, grocery gift cards, baskets of healthy easy-to-prepare foods, restaurant gift certificates/cards to be used to buy take-out orders, gift certificates for maid or laundry service, etc.

Most of the invitations were sent via e-mail and I used inexpensive generic invitations that I already had on hand for those I couldn't e-mail.

We used my regular dishes so I didn't buy any paper products.

We played a few simple games that I found on the Internet.

I think I might have spent a total of 1 hour planning the shower and about an hour cleaning and setting up. The total cost for the shower (not including my gift) was about $10.00.

The guests and the mom seemed to have a great time and her upcoming birth was celebrated and she received useful gifts.
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#17 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 06:28 PM
 
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I wouldn't throw a party for someone who didn't even show up for mine.
Sing it, sister. No way, no how.

DD1 = 8 yrs *** DD2 = 6 yrs
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#18 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 06:56 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by boysrus View Post
Practice this word with me
NO

Say it again
NO

Now say it to your friend.
You are under no obligation to throw anyone a baby shower. Especially someone who you aren't even close to.
:

especially in your inlaws backyard!!
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#19 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 07:09 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zach'smom View Post
Just say "no".

Call her back and tell her that now is not a good time for you to be throwing any kind of party.

If she is rude and keeps pressing you to have the shower I would be blunt. Just say I am not really good friends with XYZ, I don't have the money to throw a shower and I am not forcing my parents to host a party for a bunch of people that they don't know!!!!
: I would just explain to the friend that you just don't have the time/money now and that you can't do it. If she tries to talk you into it simply tell her you're sorry buy you can't, then say bye and hang up. You are not obligated to throw a shower for someone you don't even talk to that often, esp. if you don't have the funds to do so (let me add that every single shower I've had at my place the majority of the burden fell on me, ppl promised to help and then flaked, leaving me to cover it by myself), and it's not fair for the "friend" who asked you to help to expect that you will have it at your new house or at your inlaws. That's just not right.
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#20 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 07:14 PM
 
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Holy crap.

Absolutely not. Call this woman up and tell her that you're unable to handle this commitment at this time. If she doesn't understand, is she *really* your friend? I mean, honestly!

Liz

Wife, and mother to a small fairy, a demolition expert, a special new someone this fall and a small dachshund.
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#21 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 07:22 PM
 
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You don't know the girl that well, she didn't come to your showers, you don't particularly want to do this, and you can't really afford it?

Quote:
Originally Posted by caiesmommy View Post
PLEASE PLEASE help!
It's too late for "No." But it's not too late for "You know, I've thought about this baby shower, and I'm really not the right person to throw the shower for her. I can't afford it, and I don't even know her that well or feel that close to her. I'll gladly help you with anything that I can realistically help you with, but I don't want to be one of the people throwing the shower. I can still [offer some specific, limited help], though!" ...or some variation thereof.
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#22 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 08:31 PM
 
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Any cheap punch recipes, decorating ideas, food ideas???? Any ideas would help
I'm not sure how cheap this is for punch, but cran-raspberry juice from Costco mixed with ice and 7-Up (or Sprite or Sierra Mist) is yummy. Had that at my wedding. Virgin margaritas are fun, but only if you've got most of the ingredients on hand (and a blender available).

Decorating... Balloons and cute diaper pins? Maybe hit a consignment shop and get a bunch of tiny onesies for $5 to attach on chairs or the walls or something? Streamers are like $.50 each, too. Don't forget you'll have to clean it all up, too, so less is more.

Food... Don't feed them a meal. Do a cake or cupcakes and be done with it. Most people are fine with that.

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#23 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 08:38 PM
 
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Finger foods. No reason for a meal at a baby shower!

I personally would be trying to back out. It sounds like you were roped in, which would upset me for a number of reasons (all have been listed already though).
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#24 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 09:38 PM
 
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If you decide to go with it:

How about a potluck of salads. Fruits salads, green salads, grain salads. Dollar tree is a great place for decor and stuff (I got my wedding plates there!) It does not have to be elaborate to be nice. Plus you are doing a big favor by hosting!!!

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#25 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 09:42 PM
 
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I'd tell her that you couldn't do it. Sorry, you just can't.

Or you could do what the sleazy lady at my old job did and collect money from everyone for gifts and then keep it yourself.

Mom of a 7 yr old, 4 yr old, and 1 yr old. Wow. How did that happen?
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#26 of 39 Old 05-22-2007, 10:33 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'd tell her that you couldn't do it. Sorry, you just can't.

Or you could do what the sleazy lady at my old job did and collect money from everyone for gifts and then keep it yourself.
Thats sooo funny! Sounds like a great idea!

I talked to dp and hes also saying that w can do stuff for it but there will be a strict budget on our end...

were in a bad situation, dp use to live with the daddy-2-b and was in a band with the mommy-2-b as well as teaches the mommy-2-b's younger brother bass lessons.....so there is history with him and the couuple BUT

i wont mention that the daddy-2-b still owes dp a grand in back rent from living together lol

Im just going to do it with as much as i can afford if the families dont like it they can you know what!

mommy daddy son daughter = our family
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#27 of 39 Old 05-23-2007, 09:07 AM
 
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If they owe you money, and you can't afford this, why are you rewarding their bad behavior with a party? :

I'm sorry, but I would truly back out and *maybe* bring a small gift. Or ONLY provide punch/paper items and force the families to do the potluck for food and deserts and who gives a rat's hiney if the families only bring crappy food.

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#28 of 39 Old 05-23-2007, 09:28 AM
 
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I like the idea of potluck, especially with all the other background in this situation.

But, if you really want to do it yourself, just keep it really simple. One of the best showers I ever threw was when we had the least money. I used my real plates, real forks, real napkins (I did actually iron the napkins and tablecloth, as a drastic break from reality ), a $5 bunch of flowers from the grocery store lovingly arranged int he center of the table. We didn't play any games, but the diaper pin/safety pin game is a cheap one (every time someone says "baby", they loose their pin to whoever catches them; the one with the most pins wins), with a cheap prize that is intended to go to the guest of honor (a package of wipes, a package of baby washcloths from the dollar store, baby spoons from the dollar store, etc).

Serve stuff that is cheap for you to serve--cupcakes if you already have liners; cake if you don't. And nothing fancy--just a cheap butter cake with regular old buttercream or cream cheese icing. If heavy cream is cheap where you are, cream puffs filled with whipped cream is a really impressive, cheap dessert. Depending on your crowd, you can sometimes get away with offering coffee, tea, and water. Make the water a pitcher and float a lemon sliced up in with the water. Make a pitcher of iced tea and throw in a bunch of mint (this is if you have a good mint supply in your yard only). Coffee with cream or milk or whatever you use.

Around here, a cake and coffee party would be acceptable.

If you want more stuff, then think cheap, which is usually simple. Quiche, either in slices or mini, is a good, cheap entree for a "lady" style party. As is chicken salad (use the whole chicken instead of just breasts; it's cheaper) Deviled eggs are pretty cheap and always a hit. Tea sandwiches (just regular ones, cut into 4 slices or "fingers") I like cream cheese iwth pineapple on white bread, cucumber, egg salad, that chicken salad, even peanut butter and honey. I'm in hte south, so we also frequently have pimento cheese, either as sandwiches or as a dip, and cheese straws (similar to shortbread cookies, but savory). Add in some of those cream cheese/sugar mints, and you have a huge spread, for not terribly expensive.
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#29 of 39 Old 05-23-2007, 10:13 AM
 
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i wont mention that the daddy-2-b still owes dp a grand in back rent from living together lol
Um, I soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo would not do a shower for those people.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
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#30 of 39 Old 05-23-2007, 10:14 AM
 
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I was a participant in a shower once - not one of the "throwers", but one who volunteered to help out if needed. For the decorations, a lot of us brought out newborn/baby clothes (which we already had) and the hostess, who had strung clothesline around her living room, clothespinned all the baby clothes up. It was really cute! (And no-cost!)

I also brought a fruitplate.

About asking guests to bring food, meh....I don't know if I personally would want to go to a shower where the invite said, "bring a dish to pass", when I already had to shell out for a gift. If it was a very very very good friend, of course I would, but say, just an acquaintance or a friend of DH's or some such, I wouldn't.

I wonder if you'd be able to get the grandmother-to-be to help out at all with food and decorations!
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