My mom for example, is very high maintenance. She HAS to have $30 mascara from the mall and new custom made running shoes every 4 weeks. She has to go through McDonalds drive-thru twice a day for extra large caffeine free diet coke with no ice. Her definition of what she needs to survive are totally different than mine.
My sister uses a towel once and then they don't use it again. They have two kids, so that's four towels or more (probably 6) a day that they only use once. She does laundry just for towels three days a week. She spends $500 a month in groceries and it's all pre-packaged junk like fruit snacks and poptarts. They buy everything on credit and it has to be top of the line. Their computer was acting up and was really old, so they had my boyfriend (IT guy) look at it. He recommended a Dell desktop for $399 that fit all of their needs and then some. He told them it would be cheaper to have them buy that then for him to build one for them because he couldn't make it that cheap. They bought a XPS for over a grand. Why? Because there was no interest for 2 years and they were approved for enough to cover it.
I'm the one who researched coupon codes forever before I got my computer and saved $750 off of it. I use coupons, don't eat out often, spend $75 a month on groceries, use $5 mascara and buy my top of the line running shoes on sale when I can't use the ones I have anymore. I said something to my mom when she brought over chocolate milk in 6 pint size individual containers for my niece and nephew about how it was the same price to just buy mix or the gallon and she said this way was just "easier."
I understand that everyone's different, but it's amazing to me to see what others consider essential to living.
My mom and dad have a television/speaker/etc. setup that is worth almost as much as their home.
I think he both looks down on us and is envious of us because we live modestly and frugally.
But whatever, it's their life. I try not to let it affect me or my mood. If our neighbors want to have two mortgages, lease cars and not save for retirement, fine. But I don't want to hear them complaining about their predicament ten years down the road.
OP - I am curious, what kind of shoes is your mom getting that she needs new ones every month? Last year I finally threw out some old sneakers from eighth grade (so, uh, 14-15 years ago), and I wore the same pair of sporting-goods-store sneakers for 2 years since I didn't want to stretch out my new pair (when I was pregnant). Maybe I'm just in my own warped little world...
(If you're curious, 2003, 2006, 2008, 2010, and yes, it's a busy house)
but WASTEFULNESS and MINDLESS CONSUMPTION? that irks me to no end. dh's dad and his wife will order a full appetizer, salad, entree and multiple desserts per person (i'm not kidding...they'll order 3-4 desserts between the 2 of them. and they will eat a few bites of their food and that's it. when we used to go out to eat with them, smil especially would judge us that we're so low class because we would take a doggie bag home with us.: meanwhile, there would be several portions of perfectly good food that they would waste. fil told us that she does this because she grew up in abject poverty, and now she's making up for it by ordering anything and everything that her heart desires, just because she can (they are quite well off).
I hate it though when I see waste waste waste just to waste because someone can. Its sad.
What makes me sad though is how people equate things with happiness. I know way too many people like this, unfortunately. I also worry about the people who are choosing to go into debt (not things like medical, etc.) without really thinking about the ramifications. I agree with a PP who talked about wasteless and mindless consumption.
When I see her spend $90 on getting her finger and toe nails done.
When I see her spend $150 on just *HERSELF*for a fancy dinner with her boyfriend.
When my parents and sister think nothing of dropping $100 on an outfit.
When my Dh buys fancy sparkling imported water ($1.25 for 2 cups worth), instead of bulk tonic water ($1.25/2L), and $5 a box cereal that lasts all of a week.
Mama to Emma (7) and Sarah (5)
-When people buy juice by the bottle or carton. WHY? Concentrate is so.much.cheaper.
-DH and I have lots of relatives who live in extremely rural areas, where they have some acreage, well water, and pay $$$ for trash pickup. Yet they buy disposable stuff (diapers, dishcloths, etc.) like crazy and dry all of their laundry in the dryer. I don't get it.
We live in town, our trash and water come on the same bill, our trash is very reasonable, and we never put out half of what we're allowed to, because we compost and we avoid disposable stuff like the plague. Our yard is small, we have a big giant clothesline that I use whenever I can. It's not inconvienent, and it saves us a lot of money on electricity.
Our rural relatives, who have more room, pay more for trash and don't pay for water would still rather throw stuff away than wash and line dry a cloth diaper. Again, I don't get it.
-An aunt of mine, who stays home with her boys, constantly complains about being broke. (I mean, serious complaining. "Oh, I have to go to the food pantry because I have no money for dinner". "Oh, I can't go anywhere because I have no money for gas.")
She's college educated, her husband has a good job with benefits, they drive nice late model cars, both have cell phones, have sattelite, have high speed internet and a new computer, she always has new clothes, the boys have every toy known to man, they have a lovely country home on a few acres AND a vacation cottage on the lake, the house is always packed to the rafters with convinence food... and yes, she uses sposies and dries everything in the dryer. I loaned her the Tighwad Gazette, but I don't think it did any good. I want to just tell her: you are always broke because you spend money right and left!
On the other hand...
the last time I went food shopping I spent $30 on a bar of chocolate, a container of stevia and a bottle of Bragg's Liquid Aminos. :
So I have my downfalls, too.
My mother buys EVERYTHING possible in disposable products (she LOVED the idea of the one use toothbrush). For things like food and toiletries she is all about individually wrapped and travel size. Always has been even when I was living at home. You can imagine how disgusted she (not to mention my brother LOL) are that we use cloth diapers and I use mama cloth as well. Oh yes ofcourse my mother was sure to buy the disposable wash cloths for both my kids even though she knows how I feel about them.
The "have to" get their hair done at $60-80 every six weeks is one that baffles me.
I'm sure I could think of more...
It's wastefulness that I hate so much.
We need ~$1020/month for our budget, she told me it would take her and her bf over $1700 per month for just two people! They want cable AND DSL and two cell phones and two cars, etc. etc. etc. Remind you that she works only part time and he has worked more jobs in the past year than DH has worked in 5!
Yes I cringe when my mom forgets and buys two of something, or if she buys stuff "just because it's on sale" She isn't frugal but I guess she doesn't have to be (compared to me). Her house and cars are paid for, and her job is just "extra" income to them. I just hope that my parents are saving enough for retirement in a few years!
then again, i am frustrated by extreme frugality too like when i go to visit my dear sister and one of the kids has dropped the tp in the sink so instead of throwing it out she puts it in the dryer and then we are all left to try to peel the now stuck together and crunchy paper apart to wipe our heineys
Oh yeah, I see it everywhere. I am really perplexed by the four wheeler for each member of the family mentality seen around these parts.
My mom and dad have a television/speaker/etc. setup that is worth almost as much as their home.
Hey, I live in your parts, and it's actually the "live in a single wide trailer with a stick built garage for the truck that cost more than the trailer and the snow mobile that cost almost as much" mentality.
Truck payment= $500
Snowmobile and 4-wheeler payments+$350
House (trailer) payment=$300
Electronic payments= $150
But yeah, they can't afford a "real house" because those other things are "essentials"!
|OP - I am curious, what kind of shoes is your mom getting that she needs new ones every month? Last year I finally threw out some old sneakers from eighth grade (so, uh, 14-15 years ago), and I wore the same pair of sporting-goods-store sneakers for 2 years since I didn't want to stretch out my new pair (when I was pregnant). Maybe I'm just in my own warped little world..|
I will say that I DO cringe watching the spending habits of dh's family...particularly his brother's family. They live in a dilapidate mobile home, she doesn't work, he's out waiting on a workman's comp settlement, they're thousands of dollars in debt, bank account overdrawn, and when they received their tax refund, they went out and bought a TV, a PS3 & a trip to Disney World : And really, I wouldn't even care...it's their money....but BIL called DH this morning and asked if they could borrow some money. : We have worked HARD for our money and we have worked HARD to save our money! GRRRRRRRR
---Jessica---Livin' my life from A (1/05 ) to Z (4/08 ).....and z (3/11)
Saw it with my own brother. His first wife was SAHM mom. Didn't try BF *or* CD - too much work.: But then my parents would get calls when my brother was at work that they were out of formula or diapers and he had left her with no money and anyway, there wasn't money for this stuff (so she said). This happened at least twice monthly. At least my parents bought formula or diapers and didn't just give them the cash.
Hey, does she wear a 7 1/2? Does she want to hand them down to me?
I buy a new pair of walking/running shoes about once every 12-18 months and by then really need them.
I have gotten away from buying any disposable (paper) plates or plastic cups. Even with the tons of company (hey, summer on Cape Cod!) I get in the summer, we use regular, glass, kitchen plates and cloth napkins.
Waste and destruction of the environment does irk me. So yeah, single occupancy commuters in gas guzzlers peeve me, as does excessive packaging and the like. But how much someone spends on a haircut or pants is none of my business.
It is never the wrong time to do the right thing.
We would go visit some people... (ok, family members) who would complain about how they have no money. Constantly. Yet they were always buying stupid non essential things. If they were bored, they'd go shopping a spend a couple hundred each time. DH and I are sitting there wondering how we're going to pay for basic necessities, but hey if *you* feel poor, let's have a pity party.
On the other hand, I think the organic food we (and SIL) buy makes my MIL cringe. We are always laughing about it though, because she eats out almost every meal. So who do you think is spending more on food?
What bothers me is when people do this and then complain that they have no money.
Now she makes more than my DH does (almost what the two of us combined used to make), and rents a one-bedroom apartment. We're living on one income, and have a mortgage. Yet she complains that she's broke... yeah, if you'd stop spending your entire paycheck on clothes and shoes, you might not be!
Cristeen ~ Always remembering our warrior ~ Our is 3, how'd that happen?!?!
We welcomed another warrior in May 2012!!
2012 Decluttering challenge - 575/2012
In a similar vein, I know a family that thinks of us as materialistic because we buy new instead of used clothing and we like to buy quality items, yet the husband in that family spends (what I would think is) a considerable amount of money on pot! : Now *that's* money well-spent!? :