"Lower Income Moms" October 2007 Support - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-03-2007, 05:55 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by mrskennedy View Post
We definitely live within our means and have no debt, etc. But we have nothing left over either. Yes, ATM we get social security. But I'm training to work from home as a medical transcriptionist, b/c I'm not proud of being on so much assistance and I also know it won't last forever.
Ya I get that...it sucks having nothing left over.

Heidi
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Old 10-03-2007, 09:27 PM
 
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Finally have a few minutes to post...

s to everyone who's been struggling the past few weeks.

We are doing OK. I did alright on my September goals. I did get enrolled with Career Step. Now I'm just waiting for my pedal & books to arrive so I can really get started with my training. I got 2 of our 3 junkers sold & was able to set aside the $$ for a little emergency fund. I didn't get stuff listed on the TP/DS/TBW/eBay. That's now my priority for October. We did better with eating out. Not as good as we should be doing (which is basically not at ALL) but WAY less than we'd been doing over the summer when DH's was working more hours. That transition from summer pay to fall/school pay always gets me for the first few weeks...:

DH got a paid Research Assistant position on campus, which was awesome for the grad school resume, but stinks for the pay. It meant taking a few hours each week from his real job as an IT manager & making less than 1/2 the hourly pay. BUT in the long run this should really help getting into grad school & he really, really, really needs the experience since he's changing fields from computers to ecology.

My Breastfeeding Peer Counselor training starts today. Training is 2 hrs/wk for the next 8 wks & we found out today we don't get paid until the end since they want to make sure we complete the whole training before paying us. The upside is I should get a good check around December/Jan to help with the holidays. The down side is I now need to tweak our budget to replace the $80-$100/mo I'd been figuring into our income.

Have our interview for Food Stamps on Oct 15. Almost have all the documentation together. DH is having a hard time with the idea of us applying for Food Stamps. He's fine with WIC, and HEAP doesn't seem to bother him too much, the state health ins (girls on Medicaid, us on the HMO plan) kind of bugs him but he deals with it. Food Stamps though really makes him feel bad. I think it's because if he was working FT instead of going to school we actually wouldn't NEED any of those subsidies. He makes pretty good pay, but he's miserable in his jobs & after he gets his MS he should be making significantly better pay in a field that really fufills him. I really look at it as (1) He works & we do pay taxes, so it's not like we're not "paying" for it. (2) The system was put into place to help people who are trying to better themselves. (3) In the long run, the govt will benefit from DH's schooling as he earns more money & pays higher taxes, has more purchasing power, etc. Anyway, I'm hoping he'll change the way he feels because I'd feel bad getting food stamps if it made him feel bad. At the same time money is *so* tight, it will just give us a little breathing room you know? Cross your fingers & say a prayer!

OK...sheesh...this got a lot longer than I expected! Have a good night everyone!
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Old 10-03-2007, 10:17 PM
 
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Prayer on the way, janerose!
Ask your DH if he wants to eat. If he says yes--and why wouldn't he?--then tell him food stamps will give you food. If that doesn't work, remind him it won't be forever. And/or tell him you're doing it for the kids. Pride tastes bad, but he needs to swallow it.
Good luck!
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:15 PM
 
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In working at the organic grocery store, it shows us how much food stamp balance is available on the card. Anyways, today I had a customer who had $1500, just out of curiousity, do food stamps roll over every month?
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:39 PM
 
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In working at the organic grocery store, it shows us how much food stamp balance is available on the card. Anyways, today I had a customer who had $1500, just out of curiousity, do food stamps roll over every month?
Yes, they roll over.
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:40 PM
 
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In working at the organic grocery store, it shows us how much food stamp balance is available on the card. Anyways, today I had a customer who had $1500, just out of curiousity, do food stamps roll over every month?
OMG! If they have that much... I can't help but wonder if they really need them! My gut says no... But I could be wrong. How in tarnation could you have that much though??? :
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:43 PM
 
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OMG! If they have that much... I can't help but wonder if they really need them! My gut says no... But I could be wrong. How in tarnation could you have that much though??? :
Large family? Just got their benefits after waiting for an initial appt.

Why would you wonder if the family needed them?
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Old 10-03-2007, 11:49 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Well maybe they screwed up like what happen with Krystal in July. I think she said she got almost $900. Of course she had a couple of months where she could hardly feed her family or maybe the family was a great shopper.

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Old 10-04-2007, 12:45 AM
 
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Large family? Just got their benefits after waiting for an initial appt.

Why would you wonder if the family needed them?
Sorry. That was the wrong thing to say. I meant you'd think they would have used them... And I know living in PA in general isn't cheap, although certain areas have a lower cost of living than others. But who knows? It's not my family, is it, so I have no idea, and I don't pretend to. The key word in my post is "wonder."
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Old 10-04-2007, 12:57 AM
 
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Just checking in - we had some good things happen today. DH did someone a favor and got $60 cash slipped to him in an envelope as thanks. I found out we were approved for a scholarship for DS2 for preschool - saving us $55/month.

I have send in a few more applications for part-time jobs and hope to find something that will work out soon. My latest is for a bank teller position.

In the meantime, I am still babysitting before/after school - and next week is an in-service day, so I'll get a little more $$$ because I'll have the girl all day on Monday. I also still have my Saturday job - and a paycheck is due to arrive Friday from that! Hooray.

We're still debt more than we'd like to be ($1500 on Discover, $800 on Mastercard, $300 on Kohl's) and are starting to worry about the holidays. But we're hanging in there.
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Old 10-04-2007, 01:06 AM
 
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Is it 3T stuff you're looking to get rid of? If so PM me Trust me I know how it goes with trying to find money to cover everything.....

No just pretty much 0-18mo.
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Old 10-04-2007, 01:21 PM
 
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BUT in the long run this should really help getting into grad school & he really, really, really needs the experience since he's changing fields from computers to ecology.
If you didn't already know this, ecologists use stats up the wazoo because you can't control for hardly ANYTHING in ecology, so they have to use all these really complicated models (that, IMO, don't actually tell you a whole lot because you need to make all these assumptions, but whatever) so having experience with computers will really come in handy.

Is he planning on becoming an eco prof? Because otherwise, an IT person is going to make a heck of a lot more than an ecologist (and actually, depending on where you get hired, an IT person will often make more than a prof).
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Old 10-04-2007, 01:31 PM
 
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Been awhile since I checked in!

We are doing better this month. Mostly due to our credit card limit going up. I know, bad. But we need it. I can actually buy baby stuff before the baby is actually here! I am not even going to go into how insanely high our rate or limit are...I hate credit cards but gosh their useful right now!

My landlords came and cleaned the carpets and fixed our water heater. Yay! We also found out we were lucky it hadn't exploded yet b/c it was pretty bad. We have been telling them for months...then we get a letter in the mail from insurance that they had apparently forgotten to switch over our renter's policy, so we weren't insured this whole time and we have been paying for somewhere we haven't lived since May!!! And our insurance premium that's due in 2 weeks is $170 more than it's ever been before for some insane non-sensical reason. We have no tickets or anything...I don't understand.

I also found a bunch of sales and cut my xmas list in half with dh's full support and finding a bunch of sales. Hooray! Plus MIL bought dd's cake and some party supplies for her party. THat's such a relief but it really makes me feel a little incompetent.

AP Mom to 5 knit.gifhomeschool.giftoddler.gif
 
  

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Old 10-04-2007, 01:35 PM
 
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to anyone who needs it... I'll be away from the thread for a while--don't know if I'll be back at all--but each of you and your families is in my thoughts!
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Old 10-04-2007, 02:36 PM
 
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to anyone who needs it... I'll be away from the thread for a while--don't know if I'll be back at all--but each of you and your families is in my thoughts!
Is everything okay? Do you just need a break?

PM me if you need to! (I have had to take breaks from MDC, too, and I'm a relative newbie!)
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Old 10-04-2007, 05:46 PM
 
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If you didn't already know this, ecologists use stats up the wazoo because you can't control for hardly ANYTHING in ecology, so they have to use all these really complicated models (that, IMO, don't actually tell you a whole lot because you need to make all these assumptions, but whatever) so having experience with computers will really come in handy.

Is he planning on becoming an eco prof? Because otherwise, an IT person is going to make a heck of a lot more than an ecologist (and actually, depending on where you get hired, an IT person will often make more than a prof).
Yes, his computer experience will come in *very* handy in marketing himself. It was already how he got the Research Asst position. They needed someone who could help with processing their data collection.

We live in a pretty rural area, so his IT work doesn't actually make as much as many people in the field do. If we were willing to relocate to somewhere urban or somewhere where comp jobs are in demand (certain areas of CA or NC for instance) ITA about the pay. But we're not planning to move since our family is here. For our area he should make *at least* as much as a prof as he will in computers. Plus, most of the colleges around us are state so they have rockin' benefits & really good retirement plans. Not to mention that his job satisfaction will be MUCH higher, which you can't really put a price on!

In the meantime he'll stay on as IT Manager at his current job. They pay isn't spectacular, but it's enough for us to get by on, they *totally* let him set his own schedule, and the owner & coworkers are super nice. Too bad the job is brain numbingly boring for him....
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Old 10-04-2007, 06:38 PM
 
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Yes, his computer experience will come in *very* handy in marketing himself. It was already how he got the Research Asst position. They needed someone who could help with processing their data collection.

We live in a pretty rural area, so his IT work doesn't actually make as much as many people in the field do. If we were willing to relocate to somewhere urban or somewhere where comp jobs are in demand (certain areas of CA or NC for instance) ITA about the pay. But we're not planning to move since our family is here. For our area he should make *at least* as much as a prof as he will in computers. Plus, most of the colleges around us are state so they have rockin' benefits & really good retirement plans. Not to mention that his job satisfaction will be MUCH higher, which you can't really put a price on!

In the meantime he'll stay on as IT Manager at his current job. They pay isn't spectacular, but it's enough for us to get by on, they *totally* let him set his own schedule, and the owner & coworkers are super nice. Too bad the job is brain numbingly boring for him....
This might be a totally dumb q, but isn't IT a field in which you can telecommute....as in, could he help people that are in California (I have no idea where you are, I'm trying to go with someplace you are NOT)?

Or, at the very least, he could be a consultant.

I'm trying to learn R and I think I may offer my services as an independent consultant if I ever get good at it!

ETA: I understand it isn't that interesting to him, but perhaps there are ways for him to make more money at it while he has to do it.
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Wow, this thread is hard to keep up with when you don't have internet access for a while. I *finally* got "connected" today and my bill is going to be painful because I got high-speed, but it's really necessary for online classes that I will be taking in a couple of weeks. I'm glad to read that some people have improved their situations so much. Unfortunately, I see a lot of people are still struggling. Personally, lately, I feel like my situation changes daily. One day I feel like things are coming together and I'm making it and then I have a day like today where DD's father lets me know that he's not going to be able to pay off the child support arrears that he owes as quickly as he promised me that he would. And then has the nerve to hang up on me when I dared to get upset. I met a girl this week who, because her child's father is completely MIA and not on the birth certificate, gets child care assistance which means she pays $25 a week (I was paying $140 until I stopped taking DD), she gets TANF (Welfare), food stamps, income from the job that she can afford to have because of her low day care bill, and Medicaid. I like her a lot and feel bad but hearing how much assistance she gets compared to my every-so-often child support of $245 and inability to qualify for anything besides food stamps and Medicaid because of the measly CS really made me mad. BUT.....I am managing with what I do have (for now...) and I know that one day I will not be in this situation anymore and won't have to be jealous of people who recieve more public assistance than me. (Ugh....how horrible.) Anyway, I will be around more now until I can't afford the bill for internet anymore. And I have a paper that I need to start working on ASAP about Social Welfare Policy. Any ideas for a topic? I was thinking child care assistance because it is something that I think is really messed up and I would like to look more into it. Oh!! DD's potty training, actively. She has gone on her little potty twice and keeps trying. I think it will just be another week or two and goodbye expensive, gross diapers!!

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 10-06-2007, 01:36 AM
 
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I just got the papers to fill in for foodstamps and medicaid but I haven't even taken them out of the envelope yet because I can't imagine how the conversation with dp will go. I'm pretty sure he will object, and then I will have a hard time talking reasonably about it without screaming something about him getting out and finding a job. He's been out of work since Feb and has turned work down! because the hours were too long, or it was too far away from the family. In the meantime I've taken on two extra childcare jobs at home, which is really stressing out my dd who has just started school and when she comes home the other kids are here. So I'm feeling a lot of suppressed anger at dp, especially as his choice to only make minimum cc payments for three years helped us into this mess. I feel a ranty vent coming on so I'm going to stop now!
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Old 10-06-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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I feel so bad for those of you that have to deal with resistance from your dh/dp when it comes to being frugal or just trying to get by. How completely infuriating!

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 10-06-2007, 12:35 PM
 
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I'm trying to find something good to say about Sept, but all I can think of is the month is done. We are about half done with filing out paperwork to requalify for food stamps. Since dh wasn't working most of the summer it will be interesting to see what happens with that. The paper work was supposed to be getting me set up for maternity medicaid at the same time, but based on what the letter asking for some verification things said I'm not sure if it is. On the good side of things I'm not stuck in bed with no energy to get up and falling over if I do. A friend was also able to talk a doctor in to a phone consult for me. After going over my nasty sinus infection and antibiotics I can't have he called in something I can handle to Publix and the meds were free! He had also checked a short list of antibiotics that Publix will fill for free and one of them would work for me. I was really worried how much they were going to cost, but couldn't wait any longer so that was a huge help!

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 10-06-2007, 01:45 PM
 
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Ok, finally a moment to update. Good things for September:
No asthma attacks for DS1, No hopspitalizations for DS2, the child development center my younger 2 attend at my university is amazing!, my cousin (who is more like a sister to me) and her best friend (my friend's little sister) survived a HORRIBLE head-on collision they were in and will both fully recover!

I am trying not to depend on my boyfriend for help financially, because I want to know that I can get by on my own if I need to. Things have been more than rocky lately and I am uncertain what is going to happen I am trying to get a budget increase from financial aid, but they say I should be able to live off of the same amount as a single student with no dependents. I am in the process of applying for a few scholarships. I am changing my major so I hope it doesn't affect my financial aid too much next semester.

I *think* I may have found a part-time job to help make ends meet, but I don't have childcare after 5 pm so that makes it tricky. My ex was laid off so I am no longer getting any child support, but I can't go back on cash aid or when he IS working they will *keep* all of the back c/s (say I recieved $400/month cashaid, they would still keep the full $2000/month in back c/s) and that just isn't going to help. I do get foodstamps for the time being, but need to reapply, b/c they are including income from my old job (they put me on-call when I took DS2 for eye-surgery) and it lowers the amount by quite a bit. Winter hit us quite suddenly here! Anyone else?

I am really struggling here lately, even more emotionally than financially (which is pretty bad). I don't have much of a support system IRL, but the head teacher in DD's class has been really greeat. She always takes the time to talk to me and has been in similar situations with her relationship, so she really understands. She always tells me how she is impressed when she sees me interact with my kids, that I am a great mom, how great it is that DD still breastfeeds, that she knows I am doing the best I can for my kids~ and I can tell she means it...it makes me feel so much better, because even though I know I am doing the best I can right now, it doesn't ever feel like good enough. It's good to know that other people notice how hard I am trying. I feel so very alone sometimes. I just keep telling myself, it will get better.

Sorry, this turned into a very long post.

.

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Old 10-06-2007, 04:31 PM
 
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Oh, I am SO frustrated right now (well, not so much right now, but slightly earlier. )

My dh has been out of work for 2 weeks. Which isn't a long time, except that we don't have much in the way of savings, and we have a lot of expenses. And he hasn't started looking for a new job yet.

Yesterday, I was at a high school all day doing observations (and can I tell you that I was SO much more tired at the end of the day than I am after my normal job....teaching is going to be exhausting!) and I got home before we needed to get ds from d/c. Well, dh doesn't have school on Friday. So, a perfect day to job hunt, right? No, he played with ds till about noon, got a pizza (urgh!!!) for lunch (which ended up being dinner and lunch for today, but that is SO not the point), and went home and played computer games. Computer games. O.M.G.

When I got home he tried to initiate a little something, but needless to say, I was SO not in the mood. Apparently, it doesn't dawn on him that responsibility is attractive to women. Or at least it is to me. I recognize that men use sex as a means of emotional connection and blahdy blah blah, but I can't suppress my feelings that he is sabotaging my life (because I am also on the mortgage, car notes, and I have cc's that might not get paid in order to pay something else, as well as the fact that ds is also MY son, so if we can't afford to get him winter clothes, that affects me) by sticking his head in the sand.

I left to get ds from d/c and I apologized to him, saying that I am sorry that I am not very loving, but I am really stressed out about him not having a job and I'm really worried about money. He said, "Yeah, me too." Ummmm, well, that's really great, but only YOU can get yourself a job.

So, he tried to go to the computer lab at school last night to look online for jobs (even though we have a computer here, with dial-up (his argument was that the computers in the lab are faster) and I have been emailing him possible part time jobs off Craigslist that only require him to send an email which doesn't really require high speed internet) but they were closed.

So, he went today (except that I am certain that he is actually trying to find a book for a report he has to do). Don't get me wrong, I think school is very important but if we can't eat, he isn't going to be able to afford the gas to go to school or for us to take ds to daycare, which means he'll have to stop going, seeing as I make money and can't really stop working.

I still don't know if he has actually applied for any jobs, but he applied for school loans. Which, I suppose, is better than nothing, but when you have as much debt as we do, all I think when there is a possibility of getting MORE debt is that I will literally be paying off this debt when I die, and when I do, my ds won't have anything because the house will have to be sold to pay it off. And that makes me pretty PO'd.

I don't know. Hopefully he's actually going to get off his lazy a$$ and get out there. I'm just so irritated because I *knew* that he would be fired from this job eventually (I just had woman's intuition about it....he had gotten in trouble before when they couldn't find a small wastebasket and other stupid things along those lines) and I had tried for months to get him to look for a different job, since it's easier to find a job when you don't reek of desperation.

Sometimes I ask myself which scenario is better: having a dp who is an a$$ and doesn't help with kids and household stuff but pays the bills to a degree where working would be optional for me (I have a friend in this situation) or having a dp who is really great with the kids and is a very nice person, but doesn't take on his responsibilities. Sometimes I wish he were an a$$, because combined with his ostrich tendencies, it would be easy for me to leave. :
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Old 10-06-2007, 06:08 PM
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Sometimes I ask myself which scenario is better: having a dp who is an a$$ and doesn't help with kids and household stuff but pays the bills to a degree where working would be optional for me (I have a friend in this situation) or having a dp who is really great with the kids and is a very nice person, but doesn't take on his responsibilities. Sometimes I wish he were an a$$, because combined with his ostrich tendencies, it would be easy for me to leave.
I know exactly what you mean. DH has a job but it's at freaking TACO BELL and he won't even try to find a better job. He only makes $7.15/hour and we have 3 kids--now tell me, how is that supposed to work? He's been there for a year and it was only supposed to be temporary until he could find a better job It would be so much easier to walk out if he wasn't so good with the kids.
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Old 10-06-2007, 06:13 PM
 
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I'm beyond irked with Bank of America again. Last weekend they held dh's check over night and cleared it mid day on Saturday. This weekend there is still a hold on it and we don't have a clue if it will clear before Tuesday since Monday is stupid Columbus day. Food stamps will clear through on Monday morning, but after buying things like toliet paper last night we weren't sure how we were going to get food for the kids for tomorrow. Amazingly I got a $15 check for taking a survey that I don't remember taking so food is cared for. I am still way beyond irked with BoA though this is crazy. Why are they suddenly messing with dh's account?!?

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 10-06-2007, 07:05 PM
 
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I know exactly what you mean. DH has a job but it's at freaking TACO BELL and he won't even try to find a better job. He only makes $7.15/hour and we have 3 kids--now tell me, how is that supposed to work? He's been there for a year and it was only supposed to be temporary until he could find a better job It would be so much easier to walk out if he wasn't so good with the kids.
Coming out of lurking mode; this sounds like DH only it has been 8 years : and he is a cashier at a grocery store. How does he expect for us to get ahead in life when we're barely making ends meet and he won't get a decent job? He just doesn't get it but it's not him who has make every cent stretch out.
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Old 10-06-2007, 10:38 PM
 
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So the newest development in my oh-so-crappy October so far... my boyfriend told me a couple days ago that I either had to get an abortion or he was gone... needless to say I told him to get the hell out and never come back, that I didn't need him and me and my child DEFINITELY don't need someone in our lives saying that said child is, in his words, "the mistake that ruined my life". Anyway, I will be fine... I have a degree in business and am working on the extra classes and stuff for my cpa (should take about 2 years) but seriously?!?! I am livid. I will be better of though, no more worrying about HIS past due debts (all mine are current, I am anal about it), no more worrying about his horrid spending, and I will be moving to my mom's so my bills will be around 500 a month which means I will be fine working part time (bringing in 800-1000 a month) and going to school. But yeah.... that got a little long, oops!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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Old 10-06-2007, 11:58 PM
 
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I'm beyond irked with Bank of America again. Last weekend they held dh's check over night and cleared it mid day on Saturday. This weekend there is still a hold on it and we don't have a clue if it will clear before Tuesday since Monday is stupid Columbus day. Food stamps will clear through on Monday morning, but after buying things like toliet paper last night we weren't sure how we were going to get food for the kids for tomorrow. Amazingly I got a $15 check for taking a survey that I don't remember taking so food is cared for. I am still way beyond irked with BoA though this is crazy. Why are they suddenly messing with dh's account?!?
Could you join a credit union? I know with our credit union when you deposit a check, cash etc, its an automatic deposit.
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Old 10-07-2007, 10:46 AM
 
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UGH Rachel, that sucks . What a jerk. I am glad to hear you have someplace to go so you can continue to go to school though.

The Tabbie Family; DH , DS , DD , a few :, a couple : and me.
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Old 10-07-2007, 04:01 PM
 
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It sounds like you will be much better off without him, Rachel. Actually it sounds like you have a lot of good things planned and will do great on your own!

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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