"Lower Income Moms" October 2007 Support - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 10:45 AM - Thread Starter
 
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I started a new thread.

Maybe we could start out this thread with what is the best thing that happen to us in September and get a few positive vibes going.

I know for me it always helps if I can focus on one good thing in the sea of bad.

Heidi
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#2 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 11:27 AM
 
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I'm in for the month.

I'm Sara, mama to Peter (2.5 yo ds), wife to Jerry.

Dh lost his job last month, and I go through cycles of feeling like things will be fine and feeling like things will very shortly come crashing down on our heads.

I am applying for food stamps, but I'm not that hopeful, since it seems like you need to be virtually destitute to get any kind of aid these days. If we didn't have cc debt, we'd be more or less fine on my salary. Alas, we are typical Americans. Sigh

Dh is applying for student loans, which I am bummed about, since before he was fired, we were paying off our debt, and now it's going to start skyrocketing.

I'm focusing on the fact that life is continually changing and things won't be the same for long. They may not necessarily get better, but at least it'll be different! I'm also trying to enjoy this time of hardship (weird choice of words, I know) so that I can appreciate the things I have when life gets great again.

The things I am grateful for:

-My family is healthy (well, aside from dh's disability, but it's not like that's going away, so it kind of doesn't count)
-We have food, a roof, clothes
-Dh doesn't work on weekends anymore (this has been a LONG TIME coming)
-Because dh doesn't work weekends now, we were able to go to the Quaker meeting house, which was really nice.
-Dh is in school, so one day he will have a good job
-I have an education and nobody can take that from me.
-I have a secure job
-My child is happy
-The sun is still shining (always a good thing!)


Goals this month:
-Get that app for food stamps in
-Try to get student loans for myself, since I am still a student
-Support dh in getting loans and another part time job, preferably one he likes and where the people are not major UAVs (novel idea!)
-Focus on finishing the diss and getting through the teacher cert program
-love my family as best I can, regardless of my stress and fears
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#3 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 12:17 PM
 
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Just subbing for now.
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#4 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 01:07 PM
 
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awesome. thanks for starting the new thread mum4boys.

Visit the Holiday Helper thread and join in on the giving and fun! Loving and working with the plants. I have a store! or two!
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#5 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 01:41 PM
 
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Need major brainstorms mamas. We need 5,000 for court regarding my son Dom and bio dad.

How would you try and come up with the money?

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#6 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 02:08 PM
 
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the thing i am most grateful for that started in september is that i was (re) accepted into the Social Work program at the university!!!!! i won't always be poor AND uneducated (meaning without a degree, not stupid)

i am also grateful that i thought to go into this forum, and I found this thread!

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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#7 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 02:35 PM
 
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Subbing, and trying to think of something good that happened last month.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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#8 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 02:36 PM
 
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We saved almost $50 on our rent/water bill last month, and I also made extra money online that will go toward my tuition.
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#9 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 02:50 PM
 
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The thing I am thankful for from September is that df finally agreed to go stay with my parents for a couple months so we can get caught up and save some money!! This way when we move back out on our own and the new baby makes it appearance we won't be scrambling to make ends meet and we won't have any old debt (other then my school loans) just waiting to bite us in the butt!!!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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#10 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 02:54 PM
 
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Subbing - I need the support. We have $1000 left to our name right now - that's it. we've never been in this position before. We're on a spending freeze - but that is nearly impossible to do. We have 2 weddings this month and need to give gifts (how on earth do we afford that??????) plus 2 family birthdays - not to mention gearing up for xmas.

I am a bit overwhelmed these days. DH and I FIGHT all the time because of this. I have been trying to get a job. I work 2 p/t jobs already - babysitting a girl before/after school (make $50/week) and 5 hrs working at my community college's library (make $60/week) - I am not even able to get hired at a stupid old retail job because I can't work when DH works (because then we'd need a sitter - and that would cost more than what I could make) and I can't work saturdays daytime because that's when I work at the college (making way more than I would at retail - so quitting that job is not worth it). I am so frustrated.

But the good..... Um.... Everyone's healthy - including DD who up until this year had terrible asthma. We do have stable jobs, so at least we are making a steady income that is paying the big bills. And I am thankful that it looks like we'll be getting a partial scholarship for DS's preschool - which will cut that tuition to $50-75/ month.

Like I said - I need the support - I just walk around with a sick feeling in my stomach all the time now.
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#11 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 03:03 PM
 
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Two Spunky Monkeys!

This probably won't be popular, but you really don't have to give wedding gifts. (We don't.) You can volunteer time or make something, etc. Or just make a card. IME people get more than they know what to do with at weddings anyway. B/c of this DH and I actually said no gifts at our wedding, but we've always had everything we need. Point is, don't put your family in danger of not having something they *need* to live--food, shelter, etc--in order to give someone else a gift.


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#12 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 03:08 PM
 
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I've been putting off posting to this thread (stupid pride) I will be back later.....
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#13 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 03:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AngelBee View Post
Need major brainstorms mamas. We need 5,000 for court regarding my son Dom and bio dad.

How would you try and come up with the money?
-yard sale. Not just you, but ask EVERYBODY you know to contribute items. If your neighborhood isn't good for yard sales, have it in a friend's neighborhood.

-Selling plasma. You and your dp could both do it, you can do it every two days, and you can make up to $70 a week doing this.

-Rob a bank (just kidding, but want to see if you are reading )

-Sell clothes and such on tp and ebay, as clothes make nada at a yard sale

-possibly do the Get-Paid-To stuff (there's good info here at the WAHMWell) although I find this way more work than it's worth

-can you return anything you have purchased recently?

-dog walking, house sitting are all good ways to make money without a ton of effort



Quote:
Originally Posted by Two Spunky Monkeys View Post
Subbing - I need the support. We have $1000 left to our name right now - that's it. we've never been in this position before. We're on a spending freeze - but that is nearly impossible to do. We have 2 weddings this month and need to give gifts (how on earth do we afford that??????) plus 2 family birthdays - not to mention gearing up for xmas.

I am a bit overwhelmed these days. DH and I FIGHT all the time because of this. I have been trying to get a job. I work 2 p/t jobs already - babysitting a girl before/after school (make $50/week) and 5 hrs working at my community college's library (make $60/week) - I am not even able to get hired at a stupid old retail job because I can't work when DH works (because then we'd need a sitter - and that would cost more than what I could make) and I can't work saturdays daytime because that's when I work at the college (making way more than I would at retail - so quitting that job is not worth it). I am so frustrated.

But the good..... Um.... Everyone's healthy - including DD who up until this year had terrible asthma. We do have stable jobs, so at least we are making a steady income that is paying the big bills. And I am thankful that it looks like we'll be getting a partial scholarship for DS's preschool - which will cut that tuition to $50-75/ month.

Like I said - I need the support - I just walk around with a sick feeling in my stomach all the time now.
I feel you. I have that exact same feeling. Basically, after this month, we are sunk. Sigh.

As far as wedding gifts, try CostPlus. I was able to get some friends (this was a few years ago, and obviously a great score) a pasta serving dish and 4 pasta bowls for something like $5 (they were on clearance). We combined that with this string of cloth elephants that you hang up and voila! Elephants are good luck (with the trunk turned UP anyway) so we figured that we were giving them a little boost in luck at making a marriage work. I think the total for the gift was less than $10. Now, they were registered at Dillard's, but seeing as they had less money than us at the time, we were like "Whatever! Trying to score some major gifts here! "
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#14 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 03:29 PM
 
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Thank you Sara......robbing a bank sounds like a sure winner!

Mama to 9 so far:Mother of Joey (20), Dominick (13), Abigail (11), Angelo (8), Mylee (6), Delainey (3), Colton (2) and Baby 8 and Baby 9 coming sometime in July 2013.   If evolution were true, mothers would have three arms!

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#15 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 04:40 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Thank you Sara......robbing a bank sounds like a sure winner!

NO NO NO I read the average bank robber gets away with less then $3,500. I thought you needed $5,000?

Heidi
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#16 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 04:45 PM
 
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It is sooo nice to be back on MDC after about a week and a half of no internet at all! September ended on a really great note for dd and I.
-We took an impromptu vacation to visit some friends and kill time until our new apartment was available.
-We moved into our very own little apartment.
-We have come to an understanding with dd's father and his family and have been spending a lot of time with them lately, which dd loves.
-Today I got my own laptop, but still need to get internet service for it.
*I have a really good feeling about October - it's my favorite month.*
-DD and I already sort of decorated out apartment with pumpkins and window clings of kittens in witch hats.
Lots to be grateful for!!

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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#17 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 05:24 PM
 
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Subbing, and trying to think of something good that happened last month.
:

.

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#18 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 06:21 PM
 
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Need major brainstorms mamas. We need 5,000 for court regarding my son Dom and bio dad.

How would you try and come up with the money?
Did you try Catholic Charities? Sometimes they'll help with legal fees depending on the situation.
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#19 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 06:23 PM
 
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I'm in...

I'm Melonee, wife to Justin and mama to Chloe and Cooper. Dh quit his job at the begining of August (long story), so needless to say, we are tight on money!

We've made it through August and September fine by curbing spending, but now the money is gone! I have a part time job but it only brings in about $175-$200 every two weeks. We applied for food stamps and hopefully will hear back today about that. Dh started a new job today! It is a huge blessing and will be much better than his previous job, but he won't get paid for three weeks.

Things I am greatful for:

Dh's new job!
My parents offering to pay dd's preschool tuition for October
My job

Goals for October:

Become even more concious of every penny spent
Finish up selling the outgrown clothes and unused stuff around the house
Not let my stress affect my parenting or relationship with dh

Melonee, mom to Chloe 03/21/03 ribboncesarean.gif, Cooper 02/02/2007 vbac.gif, and Piper 12/27/09  vbac.gif
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#20 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 08:14 PM
 
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I am grateful for the warm weather so I could hang out the wash all last month. I am glad that the mechanic "fixed" (put in a kill switch) the car for free after we poured money into it all summer and he still could not figure out what was wrong. I am grateful that Dh got a new job, he does not dread going every day, and when he comes home he actually says "fine" when I ask how his day was.

How wonderful you got into your new place LL! I bet you are just delighted That is really good to hear after your struggles last time I read your posts.

Ah Lisa, that sucks . I am sure things will turn around soon.

I am having a bad day, and am hoping that focusing on all the good things will cheer me up. It's not really working I think I am getting depressed... the holidays are almost upon us and I have no idea how on Earth we are going to manage this heating season let alone put a gift under the tree (Thank God there are loads of trees out back! That's a good thing right there!) for each child. *sigh* I feel like a failure... last year things were going pretty well and I had such high hopes for climbing out of debt.

The Tabbie Family; DH , DS , DD , a few :, a couple : and me.
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#21 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 08:26 PM
 
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I've been putting off posting to this thread (stupid pride) I will be back later.....
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#22 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 08:32 PM
 
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LankyLizards, so glad things are going well for you and DD!!!
I love October too. Halloween is my favorite holiday--yes, even better than Christmas--and my birthday isn't half bad either, even if I do have to make my own cake. At least DH is here to clean up this time.
I hope things keep improving for you!
And I just wanted to say, if you have trouble getting internet service, you can get, I think, 10 hours/month of dial-up free with netzero. They also have a platinum package with more hours, but I'm not sure how much it is. Or if you want DSL--something I won't compromise on--check around for promos. We're getting DSL with our phone package for $14.99/month for a year.
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#23 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 08:34 PM
 
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#24 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 08:58 PM
 
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Thank you Mrskennedy back at cha.

The Tabbie Family; DH , DS , DD , a few :, a couple : and me.
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#25 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 09:38 PM
 
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Subscribing. We made $100 at a family yard sale. The windfall was totally for "us". We bought a marriage license and went out to dinner.
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#26 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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Subscribing. We made $100 at a family yard sale. The windfall was totally for "us". We bought a marriage license and went out to dinner.
Yay! Congratulations!

*

AngelBee: Do you need the money for attorney's fees, or court costs, or both? Sometimes the court will let low income people file and waive the fees, so call your clerk of court and find out if that's a possibility. Otherwise, sometimes there is assistance through your local Legal Aid or other legal group... your State Bar Association would know more about that, or United Way's First Call For Help (almost always 211 from any phone).

If you need legal help or advice, talk to your attorney about whether you could do any of what is needed for yourself... could you do some of the typing or research on your own? My mom does this a lot for things like real estate and landlord/tenant where there are a lot of forms to fill in and things, because she works for free and her attorney is $200/hr. If you're working with a law firm, could they use a paralegal or someone who bills at a lower rate to do any of the work? Or, worst case scenario, have you looked into law school clinics or other pro bono resources that could help with some of the work. I know it sucks to change horses in midstream, but it's better than going completely pro-se.

*

Um... I'm sticking around for another month, even though we probably don't 'qualify' anymore since I'm employed. But we're still at the point where we have month at the end of the money rather than money at the end of the month. And we're paying off back bills and worrying about keeping our heads above water when I'm off work with this baby, so I'm hanging around. Also, I would miss you guys way too much if I left. This thread is the best part about MDC for me.

Best thing to happen last month? MY NEW JOB! Yay!

On the other hand, my job just started their United Way Pledge Drive and I'm not contributing and it's totally conspicuous, especially since the other collegues at my level are contributing through paycheck withdrawals and buying things at the silent action and running the freakin' fundraiser and everything and I'm... not. Considering that I was calling United Way's first call for help hotline last month begging for help keeping us fed, I think they'd rather just have me off their assistance rolls than have my donation, but that's not something I can bring up at work. :

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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#27 of 384 Old 10-01-2007, 10:22 PM
 
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Congratulations on your job Belleweather! How great!! As for the UW thing, if/when I have nothing to "give", I give my time. Really, that is one of the most valuable things you can donate. And you can tell people with a clear conscience that you did donate

I am sorry I have no advice for you Angelbee, but, as usual on MDC, there are others who have excellent ideas. I hope it all works out.

And I add my congratulations to Montana Mom!! How exciting, and IMO, not a better way to spend the yardsale money.

The Tabbie Family; DH , DS , DD , a few :, a couple : and me.
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#28 of 384 Old 10-02-2007, 12:43 AM
 
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Boy am I HOPPING MAD!!! DH had a bill go to collections last month but paid $20 or so on it. Unbenounced to us, they not only kept his credit card info on file, but charged the rest of the damn bill to it today! + there's a $3.50 fee per transaction... Now we're out a bunch of money and I have tuition to pay. I sure hope I don't get a late fee, b/c that's $25 more we owe and don't have. Just for that, I should take DH's next check. After all, the bill was his fault not mine. So why should I suffer? Thanks DH! Thanks collections! Does it ever frickin end???
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#29 of 384 Old 10-02-2007, 12:46 AM
 
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Hello all!
There were several best parts of September:
I started my graduate school career.
My kids got settled in and comfortable in a new area.
I got a budget laid out (I'm still working on implementing it and I still need a cash infusion, but at least I know whats up and what I need to do).
I started riding my bike a lot.
My home-cooking has improved alot!

That seems like kind of a dumb list......but anyway. Now to get the school to increase my budget and let me take out more loans. Yeah for debt!

I hope everyone has a good month.
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#30 of 384 Old 10-02-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Subscribing. We made $100 at a family yard sale. The windfall was totally for "us". We bought a marriage license and went out to dinner.
Congratulations!
We did that too. Our license was $30, our rings were $46 for both, and dinner was $15. Now I wish I could give the DH back b/c I don't like him. Anyone looking for someone to play with their kids? He's good at that.
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