Would You Go $50,000 In Debt on Purpose?? - UPDATE IN THE OP - Page 4 - Mothering Forums

Forum Jump: 
Reply
 
Thread Tools
#91 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 03:00 PM
 
maciascl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: The Land of Confusion
Posts: 3,544
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Very intresting concept, we are almost in the same boat. I am currently a SAHM & have been for almost 4 years. DH's income has dropped DRAMATICLY rcently & I started looking for p/t work. I have an interview tomorrow that I am DREADING! : I don't want to leave my boys at all, for a number of reasons. I am also studying to do medical transcription & will be done around Aug. I have been seriously concidering skipping the job & continueing to use credit cards to suppliment our income. It is just so stressful to have such debt. Although I guess student loans are much easier to deal with than credit card debt.

So I guess to actually answer your question. YES!! I've also had jobs that I loathed & combineing everything it just isn't worth it. I say go for the student loans & enjoy your babies.

Cheryl, wife to an amazing man, homeschooling SAHM to Gavin 12/03, Rhys 09/06, and Ian Aug 11, 2010.

maciascl is offline  
Sponsored Links
Advertisement
 
#92 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 03:41 PM
 
Mpenny1001's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 577
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
You mention in your OP that you may get a second mortgage for this. If that is your intention, you need to investigate that now while you still have income. Home equity lones have gotten much more difficult to come by in just the last couple of months. The terms and interest rates are not nearly as favorable to the consumer as they were just a short time ago. If a portion of your plan hinges on this, you'll want to check that out before you do something drastic like quit your job.

To answer your original question, my answer would be no. Around here nurses are making only about $40,000 right out of school. That is actually down from what it was a couple of years ago. I don't think it's safe to assume that your DH will automatically make good money right off the bat just because he's going into nursing.
Mpenny1001 is offline  
#93 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 03:47 PM
 
becoming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 11,592
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by abac View Post
Yep, I would. But then, I'm more about peace and happiness than I am about money.
:

I'd do it, mama.
becoming is offline  
#94 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 04:18 PM
 
Empress's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2002
Posts: 336
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mpenny1001 View Post
To answer your original question, my answer would be no. Around here nurses are making only about $40,000 right out of school. That is actually down from what it was a couple of years ago. I don't think it's safe to assume that your DH will automatically make good money right off the bat just because he's going into nursing.
That's the same in our area. New grads make around $40K to start, $45Kish at most with night and/or critical care differentials. Many hospitals cap how much OT you can get, which is why many nurses take second PRN jobs at other places.

And interestingly enough, the best place to work in this area pays at least a couple dollars less an hour than most because they treat the staff better.
Empress is offline  
#95 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 04:20 PM
 
nyveronica's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 1,748
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'd do it. I did it.

We incurred about $35k of debt for me to get my nursing degree... Not all student loans, but most. In the past 6 months we've paid back $12k.

And FWIW, everyone is different (there! I said it!) and my family and I LOVE that I work nights. Next to nothing for childcare and 4 full days a week that I don't work at all...

Oh, I live about 1.5 hours north of NYC. By no means a big urban market, and not quite the middle of nowhere
nyveronica is offline  
#96 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 06:57 PM
 
Crazy Basil's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I have a bit more the $50k in student loan debt. There is not 1 single day that goes by that I don't wish with every fiber in my being that that debt wasn't there. It causes much more stress than anything else in my life. It's a huge monthly payment and an even bigger mental and emotional stress that will be there for decades.

My situation is different from yours in that I acquired my debt before having DS, but I personally would not consider it. If you're debt-free, or even just mostly debt-free now, I would work very hard to stay that way. It's a very difficult hole to get out of once you're in it and might very well cause just as much stress, if not more, than you're already experiencing. Except then you'll be stressed out *and* in debt. Just my .02... everyone has to make their own choices and I wish you the best of luck with yours.
Crazy Basil is offline  
#97 of 120 Old 10-15-2007, 07:31 PM
 
twindaze's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 1,806
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't do it. But I might quit and have a home daycare, assuming that you have the space for that.

The thing is, what sounds like big money can often turn out to feel like a lot less when you get there. My dh got about a 15K raise with the job he has now and we were certain that we were going to be on easy street now. But we're not. And I still can't figure out why. Now he doesn't have a super high income, say 6 figures, but it is a good income IMO.
twindaze is offline  
#98 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:03 PM - Thread Starter
 
karina5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I just updated my upsetting news in the OP.
karina5 is offline  
#99 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:05 PM
 
babygrant's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: BC Canada
Posts: 7,499
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry to hear about your update. Ugh!!!! That sucks.
babygrant is offline  
#100 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:13 PM
 
Crazy Basil's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: NJ
Posts: 243
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
That stinks. Sorry to hear.
Crazy Basil is offline  
#101 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:24 PM
 
alexsam's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,191
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Maybe it is a sign... an opportunity... a kick in the pants to do something else .
alexsam is offline  
#102 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:30 PM
 
***Heather***'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 1,458
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by alexsam View Post
Maybe it is a sign... an opportunity... a kick in the pants to do something else .
:
***Heather*** is offline  
#103 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:39 PM
 
MomToKandE's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 2,995
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
No advice but I couldn't read without giving a

Mom to (5) (9)
MomToKandE is offline  
#104 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:47 PM
 
Chinese Pistache's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Under a shady tree, you and me
Posts: 5,854
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I'm sorry to hear that, but I hope another job opportunity comes along and that you're able to avoid as much debt as possible. Best of luck!
Chinese Pistache is offline  
#105 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 06:54 PM
 
wednesday's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 5,421
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Can you get unemployment benefits? In my state (North Carolina) you can receive unemployment benefits after being fired unless the employer can prove you were let go for significant cause. My DH ( an attorney) has represented people in this area, being "fired" does not disqualify you from benefits. Basically the employer has to come to a hearing and have documentation to prove you were not just bad at your job, but something like "maliciously negligent". I don't know what state you're in but you should definitely at least apply at your unemployment office and see what happens.
wednesday is offline  
#106 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 07:01 PM
 
Phantaja's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: Detroit
Posts: 2,751
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Yep, unemployment. Here in MI, you can collect unemployment as long as you didn't do anything illegal to get fired (steal, fight, do drugs, etc). Mabe this is actually a good thing!

Body, I've been more than patient. Please make a baby. Please?
always loving my babies. (May 08)(April 09)(August 09)(September 09) (December 10)
Phantaja is offline  
#107 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 07:51 PM
 
MilkTrance's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: a small, old house
Posts: 5,022
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
UPDATE: I got fired this afternoon. Not a complete shock really. I don't think I can fake being content when I am clearly not. My boss was the type where if you did 99 things right and 1 wrong, the 1 is what you would hear about. Not once did was I given any positive thanks or recognition from boss. It still sucks though, and I am pretty upset.

So we may not have a choice now and may *have* to go in debt. I had already (just barely) started job hunting and I will probably have to take a pay cut but that way we may only have to go $20,000 in debt instead of $50,000. I don't know what we'll do yet since I'm not thinking very clearly.
I view things like this as signs.
MilkTrance is offline  
#108 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 08:12 PM
 
lilyka's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Posts: 17,896
Mentioned: 1 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
I read your other post and i tink this could be just the break you are looking for. You can get some unemployment. and still be home with your kid. You will also save on daycare (sorry if you have free daycare thats not such a benefit but if you are paying for it yeehaw! daycare for me would be more than my mortgage payment). You may still have to go in debt some but maybe only half as much as you were thinking. ok so $30K. people spend that much on their car. our first child cost us that much just to be born. I never ever encourage debt but in t his instance it seems like the best plan.

if unemployment doesn't pan out perhaps a lower paying part time job with hours that let you be home with your son. I stock groceries overnight. i know, its lame but I get paid almosy $10 an hour and can get almost full time working 4 nights a week, could get full benefots if I wanted them (for sure if I went to 5 nights a week) and they offer a pretty decent package for part timers. and I am home with my kids all day. The pay is not great by most standards but we have lived off less and I don't have to pay for daycare (which as I mentioned would cost us a truck load) although a mothers helper for while I am sleping would not be a bad plan.

good luck to you.

The truest answer to violence is love. The truest answer to death is life. The only prevention for violence is for the heart to have no violence within it.  We cannot prevent evil through any system devised by mankind. But we can grapple with evil and defeat it, but only with love—real love.

lilyka is offline  
#109 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 09:13 PM - Thread Starter
 
karina5's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,408
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantaja View Post
Yep, unemployment. Here in MI, you can collect unemployment as long as you didn't do anything illegal to get fired (steal, fight, do drugs, etc). Mabe this is actually a good thing!


I am in MI, too. Do you know more about how much this works? I googled but the "legalize" and overwhelming amount of information is hurting my fragile overly-sensitive brain.
karina5 is offline  
#110 of 120 Old 10-16-2007, 09:15 PM
 
earthgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 3,562
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Oh, this sucks. I know it may turn out for the best, but getting fired never feels good, no matter how much you hated your job.
earthgirl is offline  
#111 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 01:37 AM
 
2 in August's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 6,362
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Sorry you lost your job, but it sounds like it wasn't good for you anyway. Where are you at in MI? You can pm me if you don't want to post it here. Dh works in retail and I know that their store is already interviewing for holiday help. He's just a worker bee, but if you're in my area I could tell you the name of his store and you could check into it. Good luck finding something that lets you be home with your kids while still bringing in some $.
2 in August is offline  
#112 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 01:47 AM
 
theretohere's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 4,519
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
We have done it- for that reason, too.

To my husband I am wife, to my kids I am mother, but for myself I am just me.
we're : with and : and
theretohere is offline  
#113 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 02:28 AM
 
singlemomto3's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2005
Posts: 58
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Hopefully you can get some unemployment while you seach for a different plan that makes you happier.
singlemomto3 is offline  
#114 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 10:49 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2 in August View Post
Sorry you lost your job, but it sounds like it wasn't good for you anyway. Where are you at in MI? You can pm me if you don't want to post it here. Dh works in retail and I know that their store is already interviewing for holiday help.

Yes, tis the season for holiday help hiring. Some places like Costco hire permanently from their pool of holiday workers.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#115 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 10:56 AM
 
Emmeline II's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 8,558
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
I am in MI, too. Do you know more about how much this works? I googled but the "legalize" and overwhelming amount of information is hurting my fragile overly-sensitive brain.
Just go to the unemployment office and apply today, or you may be able to apply online.

"It should be a rule in all prophylactic work that no harm should ever be unnecessarily inflicted on a healthy person (Sir Graham Wilson, The Hazards of Immunization, 1967)."
Emmeline II is offline  
#116 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 11:47 AM
 
Izzy's Mom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 500
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
I wouldn't go into that much debt if at all avoidable. It could take a long time to pay back - and you might really regret that later.

I would go into as much as you have to right now obviously and hopefully if you could find a better job the stress and mommy guilt won't be as bad - doing something you aren't miserable at really will make a difference I think. Good luck.

Laurie wahm (virtual paralegal) of 3 wonderful boys (11, 9, 5). 1st by c-section for breech, 2 by VBAC (one miscarriage between child #1 and #2).

Izzy's Mom is offline  
#117 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 03:42 PM
 
SleeplessMommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 5,113
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Just saw the update - apply for unemployment ASAP. Ask for severance if the official reason was "position eliminated" or something like that. Make arrangements for cobra or other health insurance (for example though the school)

Now is a good time to look for seasonal work (for example at a mall)

Best wishes.
SleeplessMommy is offline  
#118 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 03:57 PM
 
meggles's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: SF Bay Area
Posts: 3,266
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Wow, you need both and some , it seems.

At least you can file for unemployment, if need be. And your decision was somewhat decided for you. Hope your day gets better and that you find a good job you truly enjoy!

Happily parenting our snuggly wild child since 2007 and her little brother since 2011!

meggles is offline  
#119 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 09:53 PM
 
VisionaryMom's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,736
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crazy Basil View Post
I have a bit more the $50k in student loan debt. There is not 1 single day that goes by that I don't wish with every fiber in my being that that debt wasn't there. It causes much more stress than anything else in my life.
This is my feeling, too. It's a lot of stress. With needing only $25K a year to live on, I'm guessing you have little, if any, debt right now. That's a lot to take on. If it were for school, that would be one thing, but it's not for your husband to go to school. I know you just lost your job, but there are other options - flex scheduling, pt daycare, working out of your house. I know these are very individual decisions, but I couldn't relax being at home with the kids everyday if I knew we were going into that much debt for me to do it.

I also warn from personal experience about the "we know he'll get a good job" assumption. I hate to see people make huge financial decisions based on those kinds of things. If he doesn't finish/can't get a job/loses life or limb, can you get a job that will allow you to cover the cost of those loans? If he dies, they're discharged, but otherwise you're stuck with them. Hubby and I met in college and knew by our junior year that we'd be together for life. We made some stupid, stupid financial decisions - part of which was living off student loans - assuming hubby would get a great job. The tech sector bottomed out right before we graduated, and I took on more loans for graduate school while hubby worked at a low-paying job until the market picked back up. It stressed us and almost ruined us financially. We're 3 years out from that and just now feeling like we see daylight, so please, please be careful about making these decisions based on assumptions for the future.

It's us: DH , DS ; DD ; and me . Also there's the . And the 3 . I . Oh, and .
VisionaryMom is offline  
#120 of 120 Old 10-17-2007, 11:17 PM
 
onelilguysmommy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 3,473
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
me too, im thinking you can get unemployment unless she says you were doing drugs or something..so try to be happy, definitely apply anyway.

onelilguysmommy is offline  
Reply

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page


Forum Jump: 

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off