Would You Go $50,000 In Debt on Purpose?? - UPDATE IN THE OP - Mothering Forums

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#1 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 09:56 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I'll try to sum this up and make it short and sweet:

DH and I have one child, and this is the only kid we're having (at least that's the plan). DH has about 2 more years of Nursing school and then he'll have his Bachelor's and become a nurse, and if you've seen the outlook for nurses, will quite easily get a well-paying job. DH is currently not working and can't due to his school schedule.

I am currently our breadwinner. I work at a job I cannot STAND. I won't go into the details but it makes me physically ill and I have lost waay to much sleep at night and cried way too many tears over this job. Plus, my boss is looking for a reason to can me as I can't ever make her happy. Ever. It does not pay a lot of money - we are scraping by - but the benefits, such as health insurance, are great, and it still pays the mortgage.

I also suffer from mommy guilt. It breaks my heart that I am working during my only child's young years, and I miss him so much. When I get home from work we are all maxed out, and I want more time with him.

So my good friend put together this "plan" where I would quit my job, just temp here and there to make a bit of cash, and for the most part become a SAHM who works on the side.

It basically entails us going into about $50k in debt for the final 2 years that DH is in school, through combination of student loans and/or second mortgage. When he gets out, DH will be making a decent living and we can start to pay off the debt.

So.....would you quit your job and do it???

(btw, I am cross-posting this in Frugality and Finances, I thought it might be an interesting topic here since it has several aspects to it).

**************************************

UPDATE: I got fired this afternoon. Not a complete shock really. I don't think I can fake being content when I am clearly not. My boss was the type where if you did 99 things right and 1 wrong, the 1 is what you would hear about. Not once did was I given any positive thanks or recognition from boss. It still sucks though, and I am pretty upset.

So we may not have a choice now and may *have* to go in debt. I had already (just barely) started job hunting and I will probably have to take a pay cut but that way we may only have to go $20,000 in debt instead of $50,000. I don't know what we'll do yet since I'm not thinking very clearly.
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#2 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:01 PM
 
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Yep, I would. But then, I'm more about peace and happiness than I am about money. As long as I can pay my bills, I don't mind being in debt, especially if it means being home more often.

Enough is abundance to the wise.
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#3 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:03 PM
 
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Personally I wouldn't go into THAT much debt on purpose.
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#4 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:05 PM
 
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I might, depending on the type of loans they were. If you qualify for something like a subsidized stafford loan and maybe perkins loans (also subsidized), then YES.

I firmly believe educational loans (WITHIN REASON!) are okay debt to have, and it sounds like it would be beneficial to all of you.

If you did this and you could be primary caretaker for your child, is there any chance your DH could accelerate his education and finish in 1 or 1.5 years instead?

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#5 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:05 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by babygrant View Post
Personally I wouldn't go into THAT much debt on purpose.


Yeah, I'm having a hard time with it, but trying to be more open to the idea.

Just out of curiosity, how much debt WOULD you go into (if you can put an estimate on it)?
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#6 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:07 PM
 
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Originally Posted by karina5 View Post
Yeah, I'm having a hard time with it, but trying to be more open to the idea.

Just out of curiosity, how much debt WOULD you go into (if you can put an estimate on it)?
Honestly, I don't know. We do have debt (much smaller than $50,000) and it SUCKS.

Maybe I would cut back the hours at work to just pay the mortgage and stuff, then pick up a paper route I could do with the kids and do some mystery shopping I could do with the kids. Minimize the hours at the job you hate. Could you start watching some kids at your house?
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#7 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:07 PM
 
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In your situation, YES.
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#8 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by crayolaab View Post

If you did this and you could be primary caretaker for your child, is there any chance your DH could accelerate his education and finish in 1 or 1.5 years instead?


Hmmmm, that's a good question. He is already taking a full load since DS is in daycare FT. I'm guessing the answer is "no" and that he is taking as much as he can. But I would have to double check w/ him.

DH is like me...he is not "thrilled" w/ the idea of that much debt, but he feels so bad at how much I hate this job and how sad I am that I'm not w/ DS more. So he's trying to look at this idea a little more objectively, too.
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#9 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:09 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Maybe I would cut back the hours at work to just pay the mortgage and stuff, then pick up a paper route I could do with the kids and do some mystery shopping I could do with the kids. ?


It is a salaried job and thus, this is not an option. Plus, I forgot to mention that I live where the economy SUCKS so there are not even very many jobs out there. I could probably find something very low paying, however.
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#10 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:09 PM
 
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We did (well almost that much)

It was 3 years ago and to start a business that will hopefully payoff on the long run. We knew it was a lot, but DH has a very good, very stable job and it will take us about 10 years to pay it off. We have a small amount of cc debt, but no housing cost, so we figured it acceptable.

So, to me it is worth it.

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#11 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:10 PM
 
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We essentially did go into about that much debt to have our babies. We are essentially at an equity of zero after we take into consideration everything. The tide turns in the second half of this year where we start paying down what we've accumulated in debt.

I think you need to look at your goals VERY carefully. You don't want to rob your children's futures to have privilege today.
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#12 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:11 PM - Thread Starter
 
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You don't want to rob your children's futures to have privilege today.


Can you elaborate on this part?
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#13 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:12 PM
 
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I would try and start looking for another job before quitting the one you have currently.


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#14 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:14 PM
 
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I think that there are solutions to the problems you list that don't involve $50K of debt. For which it may be tough to find lenders.

Bad jobs can be like abusive relationships. They suck, they hurt you and make you ill, but paradoxically, they provide security (benefits), so it's hard to leave.

You hate your job and you think your boss wants to fire you. You should look for a new job. A job you don't hate in and of itself will have a bunch of benefits. You will still be working, but you will not be expending energy to protect yourself from your evil boss, so you will have more energy. You will, we hope, cease to suffer from stress-related illness. Your new job will have to be one you like, and that will mean that searching for it may take time. That's okay. But you should start looking. You could even quit and temp while you search.

Temping offers no benefits, but it is a flexible schedule, and if you hate an assignment, you don't have to stay.
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#15 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:18 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I
You hate your job and you think your boss wants to fire you. You should look for a new job.

.


Actually, I am looking for a new job. But it took me so long to get my current job due to the economy here, so this makes me nervous. Plus I was registered at every temp agency in town when we first moved here, and I barely got anything. I have never lived somewhere where there is such a cruddy job situation. :
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#16 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:21 PM
 
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If you are paying for day care have you crunched the numbers to see how much of your paycheck is left and whether you could avoid daycare costs AND be with your child? There are ways you could earn money from home, part time, etc.

I personally would go into a pretty hefty amount of debt if it meant being with my child full time.
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#17 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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Not all nurses make a bundle. It totally depends on where you live as to the demand and how much they are willing to pay. Also depends on what area of the hospital you are willing to work. Want to work ER or OR? Want to work in a smaller town where no one else wants to work? You can make more money in those instances. Or if you want to move to a big city (Phoenix, Atlanta, etc.) you can make good money there, too because they do need nurses.

My first answer to your question, knowing what I know about nursing right now was "hell no I wouldn't do that." This is first hand information (or would it be secondhand? My mom's a nurse, stepdad's a doctor...I get info from them and their network of friends who work elsewhere in the country).

I can give you more details, PM me if you want more info. I was going to post it but I can already see where it would hijack your thread if I did that.

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#18 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:35 PM
 
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I took on much, much more to go to law school. I think for education it is very much worth it. But, of course there are risks involved, so it makes sense to be looking into other jobs. You could also consider something like babysitting/child care that might allow you to earn some money and eliminate child care expenses.
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#19 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:42 PM
 
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yes, I would do it. In fact, I basically have done it.

let me tell you something- NO job is worth that kind of stress. it is not only affecting you emotionally, but in the long run, it has a negative effect on your immune system.

I worked in a place where my boss treated me for the most part like the gum on her shoe. I was GOOD at my job, and she was simply ignorant, controlling, and never wanted to admit to making a mistake, so she'd blame everything on me (considering I was the only one in the office, it was easy!) I developed eczema for the first time in my life while working there, crying at night, living in fear every day. Finally, something happened one day that was the final straw, and I left and never looked back. She continued to call my cell phone for months, begging me to come back!!! Yeah right lady, clean up your own mess!

We do struggle so that I can be at home. But I know we have the rest of our lives to make up for it- we do have a strong 401K, and we're not going to be stupid about it, as I'm sure you won't be either. Listen to your SOUL. Maybe it will tell you to stay home, maybe it will tell you to simply get a different job- but I really doubt it will tell you to live under this type of abuse.

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#20 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:47 PM
 
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If you are paying for day care have you crunched the numbers to see how much of your paycheck is left and whether you could avoid daycare costs AND be with your child? There are ways you could earn money from home, part time, etc.

I personally would go into a pretty hefty amount of debt if it meant being with my child full time.
Also, if we are talking about the preschool years only, can Dh put off the second half of his education and become the crappy job breadwinner? Then, when ds goes off to kindergarten, you work and DH finishes school.

(I don't know what colleges allow, just trying to think outside the box.)

There must be some way to do this than going into that kind of debt.
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#21 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:50 PM
 
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Originally Posted by MeepyCat View Post
Bad jobs can be like abusive relationships. They suck, they hurt you and make you ill, but paradoxically, they provide security (benefits), so it's hard to leave.


That's so true! I'm trying to decide if I want to quit my job or not... I have to give my boss an answer next Wednesday. (It's not so much "quitting" as it's not signing up for another year)

This *really* struck a cord. I was already leaning towards it, but I think I'm officially quitting.

YAY!:

I need a moment....

Ok, to the OP. I guess I'd be willing to go $10,000 in debt if I knew I could pay it off fairly quickly. I haven't actually done it myself, but taking care of some kids in your home sounds like a win win situation.

Good luck!
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#22 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:51 PM
 
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No, personally I would not do it. 50k is alot of debt and it only takes two years to acquire but will take many more years to pay it off especially with interest. There will be alot of financial stress, which then turns into other stresses. Also have you calculated how much would you have to pay for health insurance without benefits from your job.
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#23 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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worth it.... Educational debt is worth it to me... (to the tune of $215,000.00) Yes, I'll be paying it back for the next 30 years... but my income potential is now upper 6 figures/lower 7 figures.

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#24 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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In your situation, I would do it. If you don't have a job or a very part-time job, you could qualify for wic and/or food stamps and medicaid for your baby. You might be able to COBRA your insurance so you and your dh would still have coverage. Actually some colleges have health plans that students can buy (no idea how much that would be though).

Do you have any hobbies that you could turn into a wahm thing? Could you teach community ed classes? Could you do art classes for kids or dance or something like that? What about selling on ebay or etsy?
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#25 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 11:23 PM
 
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Yes. If it's the only way, your child's early years are worth way more than 50 k. If it's your only one you'll regret not being there.
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#26 of 120 Old 10-12-2007, 11:25 PM
 
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Dude,
I would totally do it. Life is too short. Live life. enjoy. and celebrate! Enjoy your kiddo. Things will work out in your's future the way its supposed to.
Seize the moments and have fun
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#27 of 120 Old 10-13-2007, 12:03 AM
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No, in that case, I would find a different job and power through it. There is an end in sight, and 50 grand is an insane amount of money.
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#28 of 120 Old 10-13-2007, 12:10 AM - Thread Starter
 
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So many different answers! I fee so mixed about this! I am leaning towards "I can't do it, it is an insane amount of $" but I see that some posters see what I'm saying about my health and being w/ my child.

Also, someone asked about healthcare costs, but the money we are estimating includes health insurance. Catastrophic, but health insurance nonetheless. We would pay out of pocket for regular dr. visits. There are no pre-existing or serious medical conditions on the part of me, DH or DS.
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#29 of 120 Old 10-13-2007, 12:10 AM
 
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Do you have any idea what the payments would be? I had about 20,000 in loans and was paying close to 400 a month, so, I don't know. I think I would try to find other options first, before taking the loans. I woulnd't stay at a job you hate, but I also wouldn't want 50,000 in debt.
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#30 of 120 Old 10-13-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by townmouse View Post
Also, if we are talking about the preschool years only, can Dh put off the second half of his education and become the crappy job breadwinner? Then, when ds goes off to kindergarten, you work and DH finishes school.
Thats what I would recommend, too.

~Shannon~ Proud Mama of 3 girls, ages 7,4, and 2.
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