November Low Income Mummas Support Thread - Page 11 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-09-2007, 01:59 AM
 
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Oh! I forgot to post a great thing... I found $200 I forgot I had! It was so hectic around here paying the oil bill... that I guess it slipped my mind, though I'm not one to "forget" where money is, KWIM? But anyway, I found it! So it will make paying next month's tuition pmt (my last for a while! ) easier, and maybe presents won't be so hard to buy after all.

And another good thing.. I really need a break from DH! And I might get it next weekend, if he goes to visit his friend--the guy who eats all our food!--instead of inviting him here! Keep your fingers crossed!
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Old 11-09-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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Well, I only posted in this thread once and promptly stopped. Oops! But here's my input for today.

-I recieved my first ever bounced child support cheque. They're supposed to go through the gov't but my ex refuses to do that, so they'd been garnishing his wages til he moved. The very first cheque he's ever given me, and it bounced! I called my bank in a panic to find out what the fee was and was so relieved to find out it was free. Thank goodness.

-I had to work two days as a temporary helper at my old work last month just to "technically" earn income in 2007. The new Rental Assistance Program in BC requires that you be employed, even if it's only a dollar. Weird rule, but whatever.

-Thank goodness for my dad, who is letting me "borrow" his Airmiles to fly to Alberta and visit ds's biodad's family. I get along really well with them and want ds to know them. I'm really annoyed though that as of April (ds's birthday), we'll have to pay for 2 seats on the plane!

Good vibes to everyone!
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Old 11-09-2007, 02:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
good morning mamas

well, i am grateful for the holiday helpers thread being opened, but it makes me feel so sad in a way. for the organization that i do work for I am the fundraising chair. I spend months soliciting donations for area moms......not unlike HH, but mostly cash and donations from area businesses. I am really good at meeting the needs of the community. I don't know, maybe I get a little feeling telling me that if i was working instead of volunteering I would be able to afford gifts. But then I think that the volunteer work i do is so incredibly edifying and that truly what I need, for my spirit to be edified, not spend what limited time I have at a low paying job that would barely help, and that would detract from my work for the community.

gratitude for the day

1. my strength, don't know where it comes from, but glad its there
2. warm blankets, i'm having one of those ' i need cuddly' days
3. the (relative) health of my family

have a good day mamas
Haven't forgotten about you, mama!
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Old 11-09-2007, 02:02 AM
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So, mamas who recieve child support.....do you use the Master Card? I don't want to get Direct Deposit anymore, just in case the acc. is overdrawn and I still need the CS. So, the other options are a paper check or the card. I feel like someone mentioned having the card on here recently. I was wondring if it is convenient. Any drawbacks? TIA.
I mentioned it a few days ago or so. I do get mine on a mastercard. The only draw back is that if you need to withdraw cash you get charged a fee

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Old 11-09-2007, 02:04 AM
 
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I'm so stressed out all the time. I thought we might have a small cushion so we wouldnt end up eating oatmeal and PB&J all winter and it was eaten up by my need for tires. Now I have to figure out how to pay for the tires and find extra money for food.

Why is it food is always the thing that money gets taken out of?
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Old 11-09-2007, 02:09 AM
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-I recieved my first ever bounced child support cheque. They're supposed to go through the gov't but my ex refuses to do that, so they'd been garnishing his wages til he moved. The very first cheque he's ever given me, and it bounced! I called my bank in a panic to find out what the fee was and was so relieved to find out it was free. Thank goodness.

Oh that happened to me too! It was one of hte first checks the ex ever gave me and it was for a lousy $5. What a slap in the face eh? I hope you didn't write any checks off of that money.

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Old 11-09-2007, 10:27 AM
 
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another good morning mamas!

mrskennedy.....i really know what you are feeling regarding gift giving (when we are so broke)....it seems so 'commercial' and we try so hard not to be.

its tradition to give gifts at the holidays, for many of us. I grew up in a time and place that you recognize, by gift giving, your fondness for others. I remember as a little girl my mother making hundreds of very elaborate cookies for neighbors and friends. and hand made candy canes....yum

i think i wrote yesterday the word 'edified'. well, its edifying to give gifts to those we care about. and as mamas, especially mamas in poverty, really need a bit of edification.

so, I am glad you dont think you NEED anything. But I see that the ability to have a few gifts for your dc is a NEED. the inability to give when it is traditional (personally, not socially) to give, is damaging to us personally.

so, give yourself a break. (and I will give myself one, as well). I WILL find a way to honor the people I feel I need to honor this holiday season. I will ask for help in areas where it is available, and I will be creative when I can be.

one more thing, I will not do MORE than I can do

okay....

I got my student loan check yesterday. I feel a whole lot better not having a negative balance in my account.

and fs hit the card today.

i can look for someone to fix the car. I think what i miss most is the car. my dogs are going crazy not going to the dogpark, and you really can't bum a ride to the dogpark...ever. and grocery shopping large. i can get it all (when the car is running) not just the things i can carry or fit in the trunk with whoever i went shopping with's groceries. I hope i can get it fixed a bit on the cheap

so gratitude
1. positive balance in the bank
2.solidarity (well, okay, charity too, but the solidarity feeds my soul)
3. community

ediesmom

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 11-09-2007, 11:32 AM
 
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I've got to go sort out my Student aid mess - the college keeps trying to charge me for on-campus tuition when I'm an online only student this term. : Hopefully then I can get some aid to dispurse.

I got some mystery shops {all restraunts} which means I, my dd, and my mother all get to go out and eat some this month. I don't do super great on them, but the reimbursement for the food makes it worthwhile for me.

We've got food in the house, for which I am grateful. We're going to target today to stock up on some great coupon deals, and I'm grateful to have the FS to cover the extra spending {yearly stockup deal on some things}

And I'm grateful to have had the funds to take a family friend {and the whole family} out to eat last night, and to give said friend $100 to get home on {he's a trucker and forgot his checkbook 2 states away. He's also our free shipping to my brother, so it was money well spent. }. It was really nice to be able to do that for a change, instead of having to scrimp to make the ends meet.

to all the mamas on here
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Old 11-09-2007, 11:57 AM
 
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Good morning all! So I dont' know why but I'm nesting today. I was just lurking in the Feb 2008 ddc here and I realized while looking at belly pics(and someone nursery pics in their siggy) that I've got nothing done for this little girl!!!!! Yeah, I know, I'm 26 weeks today. Not a time crunch right? But it just seems like nothing has been done. I have a carseat and clothing. I am feeling so BEHIND! I don't know. Probably just being hormonal. And that's leading to me wanting to stock up on food and bake and cook and all that. Well I can't go grocery shopping until that stupid child support check makes it here. It's SO frustrating! Stupid CSE! Just feeling hormonal and nesting and like there's no outlet for it. Anyone single/divorced? I've got a wedding on the 24th that we had already RSVP'ed to and committed to when we separated(a month ago) and we really do need to go. But it'll be so weird going with my husband. Don't get me wrong, we are amicable. But it's just that it'll be hard to play happy couple and dance and spend the evening together celebrating the marriage of our friends when our marriage is approaching it's death. Feels kinda like grieving a death to be honest even though having experience death I knwo it's not a worth comparison for most people. "sigh" I'm emotional today.

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Old 11-09-2007, 12:21 PM
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Good morning all! So I dont' know why but I'm nesting today. I was just lurking in the Feb 2008 ddc here and I realized while looking at belly pics(and someone nursery pics in their siggy) that I've got nothing done for this little girl!!!!! Yeah, I know, I'm 26 weeks today. Not a time crunch right? But it just seems like nothing has been done. I have a carseat and clothing. I am feeling so BEHIND! I don't know. Probably just being hormonal. And that's leading to me wanting to stock up on food and bake and cook and all that. Well I can't go grocery shopping until that stupid child support check makes it here. It's SO frustrating! Stupid CSE! Just feeling hormonal and nesting and like there's no outlet for it. Anyone single/divorced? I've got a wedding on the 24th that we had already RSVP'ed to and committed to when we separated(a month ago) and we really do need to go. But it'll be so weird going with my husband. Don't get me wrong, we are amicable. But it's just that it'll be hard to play happy couple and dance and spend the evening together celebrating the marriage of our friends when our marriage is approaching it's death. Feels kinda like grieving a death to be honest even though having experience death I knwo it's not a worth comparison for most people. "sigh" I'm emotional today.
I hear ya there. A friend of mine has been laughing at me because she says I'm already nesting. Really I am just purging my house of stuff we don't need. No need to wait till I am huge and have zero energy for that. Maybe that's what you can do till your CS gets there. I hate having to wait on money like that.

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Old 11-09-2007, 12:21 PM
 
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Oh! I forgot to post a great thing... I found $200 I forgot I had! It was so hectic around here paying the oil bill... that I guess it slipped my mind, though I'm not one to "forget" where money is, KWIM? But anyway, I found it! So it will make paying next month's tuition pmt (my last for a while! ) easier, and maybe presents won't be so hard to buy after all.

And another good thing.. I really need a break from DH! And I might get it next weekend, if he goes to visit his friend--the guy who eats all our food!--instead of inviting him here! Keep your fingers crossed!
That is really cool that you found $200.00. He he he I get excited when I find a dollar.

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Well, I only posted in this thread once and promptly stopped. Oops! But here's my input for today.


Good vibes to everyone!
Welcome back

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Originally Posted by DBZ View Post
I mentioned it a few days ago or so. I do get mine on a mastercard. The only draw back is that if you need to withdraw cash you get charged a fee
We use to raise my nephew so we got support for him. If you take your mastercard to a credit union ATM you are not charged a fee.

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Oh that happened to me too! It was one of the first checks the ex ever gave me and it was for a lousy $5. What a slap in the face eh? I hope you didn't write any checks off of that money.
As I said before we use to raise my nephew so we get back child support. We probably get it for the rest of my life as the deadbeat owes so much for support. First he owes my sister back support (its her kids), then my brother (my brother had one of the boys and we had the other) and then us. Well we average about 12 cents a month from the garnishment. Because we know longer have my nephew we get a hard check. I cannot get the state to stop sending the checks for 12 cents they have been as low as 7 cents and as high as $1.92 but anyway I am afraid to cash them in case the bounce. The fees alone would kill us.

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Originally Posted by justmama View Post
Good morning all! So I dont' know why but I'm nesting today. I was just lurking in the Feb 2008 ddc here and I realized while looking at belly pics(and someone nursery pics in their siggy) that I've got nothing done for this little girl!!!!! Yeah, I know, I'm 26 weeks today. Not a time crunch right? But it just seems like nothing has been done. I have a carseat and clothing. I am feeling so BEHIND! I don't know. Probably just being hormonal. And that's leading to me wanting to stock up on food and bake and cook and all that. Well I can't go grocery shopping until that stupid child support check makes it here. It's SO frustrating! Stupid CSE! Just feeling hormonal and nesting and like there's no outlet for it. Anyone single/divorced? I've got a wedding on the 24th that we had already RSVP'ed to and committed to when we separated(a month ago) and we really do need to go. But it'll be so weird going with my husband. Don't get me wrong, we are amicable. But it's just that it'll be hard to play happy couple and dance and spend the evening together celebrating the marriage of our friends when our marriage is approaching it's death. Feels kinda like grieving a death to be honest even though having experience death I knwo it's not a worth comparison for most people. "sigh" I'm emotional today.
HUGS

Heidi
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Old 11-09-2007, 12:27 PM
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As I said before we use to raise my nephew so we get back child support. We probably get it for the rest of my life as the deadbeat owes so much for support. First he owes my sister back support (its her kids), then my brother (my brother had one of the boys and we had the other) and then us. Well we average about 12 cents a month from the garnishment. Because we know longer have my nephew we get a hard check. I cannot get the state to stop sending the checks for 12 cents they have been as low as 7 cents and as high as $1.92 but anyway I am afraid to cash them in case the bounce. The fees alone would kill us.
And I thought $5 was lame! If the check is state issued, it's being drawn of the state's bank, not father's.

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Old 11-09-2007, 12:33 PM
 
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And I thought $5 was lame! If the check is state issued, it's being drawn of the state's bank, not father's.

Remember I use to work with the state (the agency I worked for was contracted from the state to provide services) ...I have seen state support checks bounce. I am not taking any chances.

Heidi
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Old 11-09-2007, 01:19 PM
 
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Good Morning Mamas,
Hugs to everyone. We all need some one to hug us at times.

I'm greatfull for my friend S. We went shopping yesterday. She helps me so much by bringing me to back and forth to work and to grocery shop. We had borrowed $40 from her last week and I was able to pay her back. I was also able to get Z 2 new shirts for school and a fleece pull-over. Now I just need to get the rest some warm clothes. I'll ask MIL to hit the thrift sores by her.

About 2-3 years ago, someone posted about making window quilts to help with keeping the house warm. I don't know who it was. She had bought some fleece from Wal-Mart and hemmed both ends, you can use fabric glue. She inserted some rods in the openings that were made. the rods are the tiny ones that are used in french doors, only adjustable. They were used at night and could be taken down to let in sunlight and warmth during the day.

Today I'm greatful for:
-being able to buy some electric heaters to knonk out the chill
-being able to parent my kids
-being able to buy food and have some F/S left over for goodies.

love and blessings
angie
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Old 11-09-2007, 01:43 PM
 
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About 2-3 years ago, someone posted about making window quilts to help with keeping the house warm. I don't know who it was. She had bought some fleece from Wal-Mart and hemmed both ends, you can use fabric glue. She inserted some rods in the openings that were made. the rods are the tiny ones that are used in french doors, only adjustable. They were used at night and could be taken down to let in sunlight and warmth during the day.
Yeah, the best thing about fleece IMHO is that it doesn't need to be sewn because the ends don't unravel. So someone with no sewing skills (ME!) and take something like fabric glue and make curtains or whatever. Heads up, Stitch Witchery (the fusable fabric stuff that replaces sewing) won't work on fleece though. Don't waste your money trying.

justmama --

mrskennedy -- about the $200. That's awesome! Also, about your post about gifts. Yes, it's hard, but I think you hit the nail on the head with the word "balance". Gifts, especially for people who are your support & help you out, are an important thing IMO. Just because you give gifts doesn't mean they have to cost a lot. As our budget allows I pick stuff up over the year at thrift stores, on sale, garage sales, etc.

Check out the $1 store for candles, but have someone check the label for you to make sure the wick is lead free. If you can't find one there, try Walmart. Their candles aren't very expensive & they all have the safe wicks. Does your DH need a special type of keyboard or will any old keyboard do? You may want to check out freecycle or craigslist. Heck, if you need just a regular one & don't mind paying shipping I probably have a spare laying around I can mail to you!

Today I'm grateful:

1) DH is getting his first check from his campus job. It's a good size one too since it's for like 2 months of work.

2) The girls & I are spending tonight & tomorrow night at my Mom's house to give DH some down time. Mom & I will get to have a nice long (uninterrupted by a 3 yo ) visit after the girls go to bed both nights.

3) I got money back & was able to bless another MDC mama with something her family really needed.
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:20 PM
 
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Thystle and whoever else mentioned finding some 3T things. At this point I don't even know where we are going to be past next week. My dh told me today that he told our current LL several days ago we will be out of here by the end of the month. At this point that means hoping we can get tickets booked far enough out to get a price we can afford for the 3 of us to head to MI to live with my parents through at least the holidays. I thought we were trying to avoid this, but it seems he has been planning all along that we would be heading up there. I've been so upset and depressed from the whole thing I've spent the day sobbing and then puking from sobbing. I'm really about at a point where I don't care anymore. I'm just going to curl up in a ball and let him deal with the entire mess.

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 11-09-2007, 06:55 PM
 
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i'm so sorry mama.

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Old 11-09-2007, 11:46 PM
 
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i'm so sorry mama.
Thanks.

It just got even better. My dad just emailed me back saying we can not stay with them. It's felt like they were dodging me for a couple weeks now while I tried to get in touch with them over all this. I guess they probably were. So now dh has told the LL we will be out before the 1st and we have no place to go. I really don't know what to do, but I've got to figure out something. I'll be calling Catholic Charities and the Salvation Army first thing on Monday, but when I've called in the past they have been no help. Our LL has always been great in the past, but according to dh he has someone else already wanting to move in here on the first of December. To be flat honest that sounds fishy as the other side of the duplex has sat empty for a couple months now and there is currently no one in it. I also know for a fact that there are a lot of small houses for rent in this price range at the moment as things are getting beyond rough around here. Attempting to get money together for a down payment and things switched over in a couple weeks isn't likely to happen though. I was hoping this would be a low stress pg even though it was such a surprise, but I can see that isn't happening.

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 11-09-2007, 11:48 PM
 
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Thystle and whoever else mentioned finding some 3T things. At this point I don't even know where we are going to be past next week. My dh told me today that he told our current LL several days ago we will be out of here by the end of the month. At this point that means hoping we can get tickets booked far enough out to get a price we can afford for the 3 of us to head to MI to live with my parents through at least the holidays. I thought we were trying to avoid this, but it seems he has been planning all along that we would be heading up there. I've been so upset and depressed from the whole thing I've spent the day sobbing and then puking from sobbing. I'm really about at a point where I don't care anymore. I'm just going to curl up in a ball and let him deal with the entire mess.
HUGS that is so stressful. Why do you have to go live with your parents?

Heidi
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Old 11-10-2007, 01:07 AM
 
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Short version of the entire depressing story. We moved to FL from Louisiana at the end of July 2005. At that point it was getting tough for dh to find construction work there and a friend in FL said he could get work with him here. As dh has previously worked for a decade in the field he is trained in, video editing, in central FL we thought it was a good idea all around. We moved here and ended up living in a hotel for over a year trying to find a place we could afford to move in to. We moved in to this duplex in January. In June construction slowed down big time and the friend dh has been working with has been having a hard time finding any work for them to do since. We actually traded dh doing a bathroom remodel here for rent for a month over the summer. After the week of Thanksgiving the job dh and friend are working on is done. They have been trying since this job started about a month ago to line up work for when it's done with nothing happening. None of the companies in the area are hiring, in fact most of them are laying off and many small companies are going under. Tomorrow morning dh has his 3rd video editing interview in the past 10 days to 2 weeks. The first one he didn't have enough recent experience for and the second one they couldn't work out passport issues quick enough. The one in the morning I know nothing about. He doesn't even know when it would start or exactly what it would entail. At the moment dh is getting a crash course in the program they use so that he can attempt to show he knows how to use it.

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 11-10-2007, 04:02 AM
 
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Short version of the entire depressing story. We moved to FL from Louisiana at the end of July 2005. At that point it was getting tough for dh to find construction work there and a friend in FL said he could get work with him here. As dh has previously worked for a decade in the field he is trained in, video editing, in central FL we thought it was a good idea all around. We moved here and ended up living in a hotel for over a year trying to find a place we could afford to move in to. We moved in to this duplex in January. In June construction slowed down big time and the friend dh has been working with has been having a hard time finding any work for them to do since. We actually traded dh doing a bathroom remodel here for rent for a month over the summer. After the week of Thanksgiving the job dh and friend are working on is done. They have been trying since this job started about a month ago to line up work for when it's done with nothing happening. None of the companies in the area are hiring, in fact most of them are laying off and many small companies are going under. Tomorrow morning dh has his 3rd video editing interview in the past 10 days to 2 weeks. The first one he didn't have enough recent experience for and the second one they couldn't work out passport issues quick enough. The one in the morning I know nothing about. He doesn't even know when it would start or exactly what it would entail. At the moment dh is getting a crash course in the program they use so that he can attempt to show he knows how to use it.

I don't know if this website will help or not, but I use it (I've got a degree in Radio/TV and work pt as a video editor) www.creativecow.com plus they've got a ton of tutorials for programs that are usually required by most production companies. They also have a job forums as well.
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Old 11-10-2007, 09:36 AM
 
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Thanks, dh posts there as well as the dvi forum. It's with the help of those and the contacts he has left here that he has been able to come up with the few leads he has gotten so far.

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:15 AM
 
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HUGS I hope the job works out for your sake.

Heidi
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Old 11-10-2007, 10:43 AM
 
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Thanks, after my freak out yesterday over having to move with them, then being told we had a deadline to be out of here and on top of that being told no we couldn't move in with them I'm attempting to see a good side to this. One of the big reasons I was so upset yesterday was just the thought of moving in with my parents. My dad is pretty much the anti AP parent. He was abusive in my younger years and there is a reason neither of my children have met him yet. Not having to worry about them being around him for that reason along with our vastly different religious and political views on life actually lift the stress some. This isn't exactly a stress free time, but that is one big stress I don't have to worry about now. No matter what happens we will also be able to keep dd in her school and working with the teachers and therapists that already know her. That alone is a huge plus. I'll probably also be able to stay with my current mw and have this baby at the same place ds was born. Also a very good thing as I know the hospital and how it works. I was very worried about needing to find a decent place to have this baby at.

Now it's just praying the money works out and our current LL continues being the very nice guy he has been so we can manage to stay here. Deep breaths, positive thinking and hopefully this job works out and starts soon. Has anyone seen my Zen spot? I think it's missing.

Kristina mom to A 1/12 J 11/05 D 4/08 and tiny dude in late April 2010
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Old 11-10-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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good morning mamas

s kristina, I am so sad reading your story this morning. Your last post was right on about staying with your parents, though. I don't think you need the stress of THAT particular impending bad place. Can YOU speak to your LL? Explain that the move fell through? Please post in RAOK here on MDC. Maybe the mamas here would be able to get you out of bad finances with your LL. Its worth a try. I don't have two dimes that are mine to rub together, but maybe someone does. And keep looking for social services in your area.

so, gratitude for the day is hard to come by, but here goes..............

1. my health (such that it is)
2. sunny day
3. dd's

didn't quite feel the gratitude, but it is written, so shall it be

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 11-10-2007, 12:53 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by s_kristina View Post
Thanks, after my freak out yesterday over having to move with them, then being told we had a deadline to be out of here and on top of that being told no we couldn't move in with them I'm attempting to see a good side to this. Now it's just praying the money works out and our current LL continues being the very nice guy he has been so we can manage to stay here. Deep breaths, positive thinking and hopefully this job works out and starts soon. Has anyone seen my Zen spot? I think it's missing.
I hope everything works out for your. Remember if you have to move out of the school district and you are "homeless" the district you were in has to provide transportation.

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good morning mamas
well, I am feeling just horrible this am. I feel totally bamboozled by a DF and her husband.
Did you give them more money then the money you owed them? I was a bit confused.

Heidi
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Old 11-10-2007, 12:54 PM
 
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oh my 3 gratitudes

1. thankful that I have work
2. that dh is home today and is taking care of the lo so I can work (okay post on MDC )
3. that we are going to spend the night with my extended family.

Heidi
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Old 11-10-2007, 02:07 PM
 
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Hi everyone! Very busy cuz we're moving this weekend! I talked to all of my teachers & it looks like missing class b/c of Dan's medical emergencies won't hurt my grades, which is a huge relief! I'm so sorry to read about all of the stresses everyone here are facing. I wish there was something I could do to help.

My 3 things:
1. We're moving!
2. Foodstamps hit the card this morning
3. I'm caught up in school

.

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Old 11-10-2007, 06:34 PM
 
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Thystle, your box came today, and I absolutely can't thank you enough for all the warm clothes for our coming little one. DH wants me to pass on his thanks as well... he was completely overwhelmed and kept saying "You mean someone you only know online sent you all of this? Just as hand-me-downs?"

The big Thanksgiving sales have started here, so we're planning and stocking up. Both the big grocery chains are offering free turkeys with random minimum purchases. This is my favorite thing about the holidays... we collect all the freebies from my mom and random friends and stick them in our freezer, which makes me feel "food secure" through the winter, even if it does mean days and days and more endless days of turkey.

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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Old 11-10-2007, 06:43 PM
 
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Thystle!! The box you sent me came today too... thank you SO much!!!!!!!! My fiance says thank you as well, we are so thankful!!! You rock!!!

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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