November Low Income Mummas Support Thread - Page 21 - Mothering Forums

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Old 11-18-2007, 10:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
Welcome MamaJamie.



Ok the next round of boxes is going out on Tuesday or Wednesday.

You should change your username to Angel for everything I see you have done in this thread.

It is really nice to once again be "touched" by true humanity.
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:12 PM
 
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Awwwwwwwwww


I have been this way since birth. Helping makes me feel good.

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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Old 11-18-2007, 11:25 PM
 
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Most of them are springish... Cotton tops, pants. some shorts and short sleeve shirts. Onesies etc... They are in good condition, though I warn you that some of them have characters on them. (Elmo, Cookie Monster.)

If you PM me your address, I'll overstuff a flat rate box for you and ship it out on Wed when I get paid.
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:01 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mrskennedy View Post
Plus, what about those of us who can't get section 8? It's a long story..... But our landlady won't take it. And if we moved, we'd be in a place where I WILL NOT NOT NOT raise my sweet DS, or force myself or my DH to live! That, and we had to move b/c of CPS--they would have taken DS if we didn't find another place to live, away from certain people, so we didn't even have time to apply for section 8! So we pay $525 on our own.

Honestly I thought landlords had to take section 8.


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Originally Posted by MamaJamie View Post
Hi, I've never posted on this thread before. I guess the term is "lurking" for what I do. We're not exactly hurting yet, but I know how close we are and how lucky we are that my husband's job is stable.

Jamie

Welcome.


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Originally Posted by vannienicole View Post
Actually, that is exactly what I need if they are spring clothes. DS is already popping into his 6-9m clothes and gaining at an incredible weight. This from a babe who gained less than a lb in 3 months. 3 lbs in 6 weeks and going quicker. I would be willing to try and find shipping money too, but it would be difficult. If there is another mama who needs it more, or if it is out of season for me, please by all means give it to her though.

Hey I can so relate to a baby who did not gain weight and who now is. Maggie was below her birth weight at 8 weeks. She was in newborn clothes still at 4 months. We went from 4 months to 6 1/2 months from newborn clothes to size 12 months-18 months : She averages a pound a week. She is over 20 pounds.

Heidi
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:20 AM
 
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No, I guess they don't have to take Section 8. I've asked several times if she does, and she says no. I've asked if she would/will, and she still says no. So we haven't even bothered to apply. If someone knows something I don't, though, please tell! I.e. if they have to take it, where does it say so?
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:22 AM
 
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:34 AM
 
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No, I guess they don't have to take Section 8. I've asked several times if she does, and she says no. I've asked if she would/will, and she still says no. So we haven't even bothered to apply. If someone knows something I don't, though, please tell! I.e. if they have to take it, where does it say so?
sorry, I should have finished my thought. I thought landlords had too. Makes sense but after I read the rules a little bit ago I see they do not. I would apply though for section 8 since I see the wait is forever. Who knows what your position will be in two years. KWIM?

Heidi
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:36 AM
 
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Originally Posted by mrskennedy View Post
No, I guess they don't have to take Section 8. I've asked several times if she does, and she says no. I've asked if she would/will, and she still says no. So we haven't even bothered to apply. If someone knows something I don't, though, please tell! I.e. if they have to take it, where does it say so?
No, I'm pretty sure that on the HUD web site it says that only some landlords will take it. I just with my area would open up the freaking waiting list.***Ok, I just checked and, yes, they can choose not to accept section 8. I think you can still apply for it, though. It may be years before you get approved, and then you may need it.

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 11-19-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Honestly I thought landlords had to take section 8.
Landlords DO NOT have to take section 8. I talked to my landlord about it recently(I really dont' want to move but he's raising the rent quite a bit and it's unavoidable but from his position, it's unavoidable not to raise since taxes in our town went up 13% and htey are divorcing) and he told me about it and then found me the regs on it. Basically a landlord has to be approved to actually take section 8. They have to conform to all sorts of guidelines because htey recieve funding to update each year, etc. So if they are not comforming to guidelines they can lose funding and lose the certification to take section 8. He said it would be nice ot be open to a broader spectrum of renters but that the guidelines in our state would be crazy expensive right off the bat and he can't swing it and so he never got certified to take it. Our house is up to snuff through the state and town and includes all nice amenities like door and window alarms(put in by him at his cost when my husband moved out so I would feel safer at night with the kiddos), carbon monoxide detectors, smoke detectors upstairs and downstairs, and fire extinguishers upstairs and downstairs. But it's just not certified or capable of being certified for section 8. So it's up to each landlord.

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Old 11-19-2007, 12:58 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
[B]How many times have I seen friends who lost benefits because they did not have gas money to get to the 5 million mandated classes to keep their crappy TANF?

Not have money for a single stamp to mail letter out?

No money for diapers, cloth or sposie?

No money to buy toilet paper?

No money for quarters to wash their clothes (which pile up for weeks or months)?

No money for therapy or mental health services?

Having to accept whatever crappy city service for said mental health, if even offered?

No money to fix a car, washing machine, dishwasher, etc...?

No money to go the doctor or get meds for the adults (many places you cannot get state healthcare for adults)?

No money for a dentist even though they have great pain or risk deadly infection?

No money for eyeglasses so they wear the same pair for 5+ years and deal with poor visions and headaches?

Slide by luckily at xmas time thanks to donations, but can't buy anything at birthday parties?

Get excited by finding used shoes at the thrift store that don't look THAT worn?

Wear the same fricken bra for years ans years, the one barely hanging on and is stretched out all funny because they can't even buy a $10.00 one at Walmart?

Have to eat off the food banks when most food banks send out crap and some send out bad food?

Have to open up ALL their personal info just to get some assistance from the state?

Have to be made to feel like scum because they have state insurance and get turned away from over 50% of the doctors because they wont take it.


Have to SHARE rooms with other poor moms on state insurance when they give birth because only private insurance moms deserve privacy?


Having no quaters to get on the bus to travel 50 miles over 4 hours to make it to an "appointment" dragging 3 kids who don't want to go, in the snow while sick.... because if she does not show up she gets "punished" by losing her food stamps the next month?


No emergency services, no openings at shelters, 2-4 year waiting list on Section 8, NO family... to see those moms living in cheap unsafe motels or on the street.


Having to say no ALL THE FREAKIN time when your kids ask for anything... including the $1.00 menu at McDonald's.


Having your kids get good at lying to avoid embarrasment at school.


Having people think you are poor AND lazy/sloppy, because they think you CHOOSE to wear your worn out clothes and shoes.


Breaking down in your car with your kids and having NO ONE to call for help.


Breaking down in your car with kids on the way to do something with those kids that they were looking forward to for soooo long, and having no one to call to help.


Having your phone cut off because you paid the heat instead, and then having no way to call for help or take any of those 5 million messages for the workers that make you jump through hoops to kep your paltry "benefits".


Having to wait in line 2, 4, 6, 12 hours to recieve that 1-2 gifts for your child for xmas, or that turkey, diapers, coat etc... because you have no money or family to buy that.


To live in constant fear that your kids will be taken away because you can't pay for everything ALL at once.


To tell your kid no they can not do scouts, swimming, sports, etc... because you cannot afford the $15 fee to sign up.


To have your kids think that going to the food bank is the store.


To get substandard food and be expected/told to be grateful just because poor people should shut up and be happy for anything.


To not have current pics of your kids because you can't afford school pics, portraits, or film.


To wonder how you are going to get by this/next month when your period comes and you have nothing for it so you end up using washclothes or wadded up toilet paper.


When you feel ashamed of your status and try to hide it and then have someone you know see you standing in line or at a food bank.


When you can never have a vacation with your kids.... when you can never get a break for yourself, when you truly start feeling like life is not worth living because it will never get better...


When that depression fills you and you have the bad bad thoughts and the days when your kids dont even seem to keep you "here"...





Ok maybe I should go take a breather too...:
sounds excruciatingly familiar.: Very very very well spoken though mama. And here's a for you because I know all too well every single bit of that.

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Old 11-19-2007, 01:02 AM
 
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Originally Posted by DuchsLove View Post
Hi Ladies...

I have been reading this thread since October, and have started this post many times, and then deleted it. I will not delete it today. I can't take all these problems alone anymore.

This time last year, I HAD money. It was a wonderful holiday season. I was living in a great apartment in Nor Cal with my sons and my partner. We were happy, or so I thought. I had a car, and the bills/rent got paid every month. What happened? My partner became abusive, and I left. Moved to Kansas to start a new life. Oh, what a life it has been... :

I work for substandard wages at a crappy job, so I can't get any type of cash aid. I've been denied for Food Stamps. I'm two months behind on my rent and fighting an eviction because of health/maintenance issues. (We have had roaches since June that they won't get rid of, we now have mice, there is mold in the windows, our hot water heater does not work properly...etc.) If I lose this eviction case, we will most likely be out on the street because I don't see any other apartment approving me once the run my credit.

EVERYTHING is a struggle. I don't have a car, so I am forced to take the bus everywhere and public transportation here is crappy at best. Don't know what I am going to do about Xmas or the fact that we all need winter coats and i just CAN'T afford them. I can barely afford to keep enough food in the house for all of us and the lights on. None of us have health insurance, and I need to get to a doctor/therapist.

I'm tired of feeling like I am alone in all this. I don't have real-life friends, and my pseudo-boyfriend has no concept of what it is like to struggle. NONE. I feel like my relationship with him is falling apart as well.

Sorry to whine ladies..you all seem like such a wonderful group, and I was hoping that your optimism is contagious.
Nicole, I've been in a bit of a fog of pity for myself over the last few days but I read your post and saw so much of your situation that seemed familiar and wanted to welcome you as well. I know everyone else has tried to welcome you but one more can't hurt right???? I'm glad you decided not to delete your post! Welcome to the low income mama's thread and I KNOW you will find comfort in at least knowing that you aren't alone in your fight to survive. We are all right there with you!

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Old 11-19-2007, 01:03 AM
 
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Hello! Sorry I've been MIA for the past few days. DH & I have both been taken out by a nasty cold bug. I just dosed myself with NyQuil so if this post ends suddenly you'll know I passed out....

Welcome to all the new mamas! This is such a wonderful group of women.

Shay -- I get where you're coming from with the "not being sure if you belong here". We're definitly low income, but thanks to really supportive families we don't have to worry about being homeless or anything like that. I'm in awe of some of the stuff the mamas here go through & how they keep it all together for their kids!

Gotta agree that our social services system blows. It's laughable to seriously think that anyone could survive, much less thrive, on what they offer. Like I said above, we're getting along thanks to the fact that we live on my families land, have had several relatives give us old used cars, and our parents are insanely generous with gifts. Especially for the girls. We're just so TOTALLY blessed that way. Otherwise there's no way DH would be able to be doing school.

Anyone else getting really disgruntled about school loans? I'm seriously starting to wonder if college is really worth it if you have to finance it all through loans. We're dealing with this now that DH is looking into grad schools. The loan debt for his MS has the potential to be huge. It scares me & at the same time makes me really sad that my wonderful DH who works so hard may end up working the next 20 years in a field he really doesn't care for anymore (computers) just because the pay is good & it's not financially feasible to continue his education farther to change fields. You'd *think* that having an MS or PhD would get you a much better paying job considering how much $$$ it costs to get that stupid piece of paper! :

Anyway, gotta run...feel the NyQuil starting to kick in...:
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Old 11-19-2007, 01:25 AM
 
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to everyone.

our social services system does blow - I qualify for TANF, but I'd have to spend 20 hours a week volunteering for free to get my measly $173 in TANF benefits. And I'd have to put DD in daycare too {5 days a week even though they won't pay for it} - even though I'm a stay at home mom due to a disability! So we go without the TANF, and get along thanks to my parents living with us. If anything ever happens to them, we'll be up the crick without even a canoe! They aren't in the best of health either, so I try to stick cash back for this happening, but something always comes up and the money goes out the door. I do get FS thankfully, and with the help of coupons we do eat fairly well. Our pantries are full & we don't have to worry about going hungry. Because DD was born after I turned 22 {within a week}, I wasn't eligible for a lot of the local programs that would have assisted me with diapers, crib, etc.

I find that doing online surveys and ebay are the only things right now that works for me to help out with the finances, since some days I can't even get out of bed without help. Thankfully those are not seen as income in my state, so they don't count against me for benefits.

Had I known when I started college 6 years ago that this is where I'd be now - I would have just skipped college all together. It hasn't gained me one thing except costly life experiences.

anyways - hugs to all the mamas. I'm going thru old things of DD's, so if there is anything in particular someone on here needs, please let me know.
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Old 11-19-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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Originally Posted by LankyLizards View Post
No, I'm pretty sure that on the HUD web site it says that only some landlords will take it. I just with my area would open up the freaking waiting list.***Ok, I just checked and, yes, they can choose not to accept section 8. I think you can still apply for it, though. It may be years before you get approved, and then you may need it.
Thanks! And in that case, and b/c I know the waiting list is years long, we're not going to apply now. We'll be moving to CO within the next 2 years anyway (if not sooner), so applying here with such a long list wouldn't do us any good.
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Old 11-19-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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Wow I missed a lot being at work today. I got 3 extra hours of hours of overtime by coming early to work and this week is Thanksgiving so I'll be getting tons of overtime (I work at whole foods).

My DH has a job that pays well for what he does (around 45,000 a year plus benefits) but our student loan debt is killing us. Between the two of us its around $80,000 +. When we hit crisis like we are in now where I'm making $800.00 less a month since I lost my job in July, we don't qualify for Food stamps etc, because they don't take into consideration our bills.

Do you know what makes me feel really horrible though? THere have been some weeks where I"ve had to take change/money from my 3 year old "dragon" bank in order to buy groceries etc.
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Old 11-19-2007, 02:29 AM
 
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Oh yeah, I forgot to welcome the new people! Hi, Duchslove, I am really glad you decided to post. This thread is seriously amazing.

Before I go to bed, I am going to post three things I am grateful for today. It's funny. Even though I have huge financial drama looming over me like a dark cloud, I feel very light and have been having a great time with dd the past two days. So here goes:
- The weather, which means we can spend hours at the park without freezing or melting.
- This silly thing we started doing where I say "Come on dd, it's Mommy Time" and dd stops doing whatever she is doing and runs over to me and we snuggle for a little while (and she sings "mommy time, mommy time")
- Inside jokes. Wherever we are if one of us starts singing "mahna mahna, do do do do do" the other has to join in, and dd calls my brother JJ, so she will say "J" and then look around all faux-nonchalant for a while before giggling and finishing his name with "J". Really silly.

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 11-19-2007, 02:51 AM
 
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dang ediesmom, Good Morning to you! I am just starting my coffee, so that is all I have to say right now...
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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
mary, maybe your clothes haven't worn out yet, or your dc haven't gone through a growth spurt. Or maybe your vehicle hasn't lost its oomph. Maybe your family has remained healthy. Maybe no one is on a special diet, or is physically exhausted because of health issues. Maybe you have a close family that will fill in the gaps. Maybe in your area of the country assistance is enough to comprehensively meet your needs. God has blessed you. You are obviously much smarter than the rest of us, or me, anyway.

There are those of us who are much less fortunate, and even though we are taught by SOME in society to shut up and stop thinking we are owed something, we are still the face of poverty. Poverty is a social issue, not only a personal one. And I, for one, think it is time to silence the voice of prejudice against people who work their asses off and still live with the societal disease we refer to as poverty.

I do not feel I am owed anything. I work very hard. I am exhausted by the work I do. I am physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted by the work I do. I work more hours in a day than many. Yet my needs are not met.

I am not one to dog a mama, but you have a whole lot of nerve to come here and demean the other mamas here. Insinuating they are lazy and seeking something for nothing. That they should be blanket grateful for the scraps allotted them.

So, not only is the fight for freedom from poverty, but NOW there is infighting among the poverty stricken? Its like during the fight for civil rights, people fighting because of the SHADE of blackness! Solidarity, mama. Really. This is a slap.

So, mamas, Mary is suggesting that we should accept that one of us is getting evicted! Hooray! And mama who wants to not buy the cheap toy, tough! And the mama who is having a hard time with FA---tough crap, don't you know its enough? And all of you who want to CD, use your freaking shirt off your back instead. Oh, I think welfare covers the cost of disposables.

I need to apologize to all who are offended at my piss-off. I just find this is my safe place, and there is an assault on our safe place.

I came back here today to see if I could continue the discussion about banding together to make a difference for ourselves and other who struggle as we do. And I do see mamas who are ready to open the eyes of society to the realities of poverty, but it has been overshadowed by such violent negativity----from one of our own, no less.

I need to go scrub a floor or something. Maybe weatherize my home so maybe I can afford to heat it. This will be difficult for me because I am waiting to get surgery on my shoulder----but the wait is long because of my WELFARE insurance. But, if i can get the pain med just right I may be able to handle the pain.

love you guys. sorry about the very unflattering, ugly anger
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Originally Posted by CaliMommie View Post
Wow, just wow. Maybe *you* only need a little help & good for you if it's out there. Try walking a day in my shoes & maybe you'll see why we are "bitter". I was getting by financially until I left an abusive relationship, and my ex decided he didn't feel like paying child support. I stayed home with our 3 children for 4+ years, have a child with major medical issues and had NO childcare. TANF gave me $800 a month for the 4 of us plus $300 in food stamps, once I was working full-time & bringing in $600 a month they cut it to $400 in cash aid & $175 in food stamps. By working I came out with maybe $50 more than if I didn't work at all. And I was having to leave my kids in childcare for 9+ hours a day & commute 45 minutes each way. The state was paying WAY more for childcare than if they gave me a decent amount of aid. PLUS for the time that I was on aid the state is taking ALL of my back child support (assuming he ever pays it). They can't garnish his wages b/c he is self-employed. Yes, WIC & Meid-Cal help, too. But $800 a month isn't even enough for rent. The system seems designed to KEEP you in poverty, even though it claims to make you self-sufficient. I now survive off of financial aid (mostly loans) & food stamps (until I have to re-apply in 3 months). There is some assistance for utilities, most have very little funding & have strict limitations on how often you can get help. Section 8 here has a 3 year+ long waiting list. And you can only get ON the waiting list through a lottery once a year. As for grants for ALL utilities where you pay based on n income, please do tell where we can find those. Sorry if this seems harsh, but it really makes me mad when people say that I think someone owes me something when all I want is to be able to feed, clothe & shelter my kids. And yes, the gov't DOES owe me....I had a tax paying job since I was 15!! I have been paying into the system, there is NOTHING wrong with me benefitting from the system that I paid into! :
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mommy2maya and any other lurkers or newbies... PLEASE know what you are talking about and PLEASE actually read the back posts before you post on here. This thread is for support ONLY!!!

If all of the government programs were real, actually worked and were well funded... no one would be on this thread. ANYONE who has actually read this thread could easily see that.




{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}



I dream of opening a center for moms/families with REAL support... a place to live, in center childcare, cars to share, schooling, training, therapy, etc... a REAL chance to get ahead and be self sufficent. A way to fill in all those little cracks that everything falls through.




How many times have I seen friends who lost benefits because they did not have gas money to get to the 5 million mandated classes to keep their crappy TANF?

Not have money for a single stamp to mail letter out?

No money for diapers, cloth or sposie?

No money to buy toilet paper?

No money for quarters to wash their clothes (which pile up for weeks or months)?

No money for therapy or mental health services?

Having to accept whatever crappy city service for said mental health, if even offered?

No money to fix a car, washing machine, dishwasher, etc...?

No money to go the doctor or get meds for the adults (many places you cannot get state healthcare for adults)?

No money for a dentist even though they have great pain or risk deadly infection?

No money for eyeglasses so they wear the same pair for 5+ years and deal with poor visions and headaches?

Slide by luckily at xmas time thanks to donations, but can't buy anything at birthday parties?

Get excited by finding used shoes at the thrift store that don't look THAT worn?

Wear the same fricken bra for years ans years, the one barely hanging on and is stretched out all funny because they can't even buy a $10.00 one at Walmart?

Have to eat off the food banks when most food banks send out crap and some send out bad food?

Have to open up ALL their personal info just to get some assistance from the state?

Have to be made to feel like scum because they have state insurance and get turned away from over 50% of the doctors because they wont take it.


Have to SHARE rooms with other poor moms on state insurance when they give birth because only private insurance moms deserve privacy?


Having no quaters to get on the bus to travel 50 miles over 4 hours to make it to an "appointment" dragging 3 kids who don't want to go, in the snow while sick.... because if she does not show up she gets "punished" by losing her food stamps the next month?


No emergency services, no openings at shelters, 2-4 year waiting list on Section 8, NO family... to see those moms living in cheap unsafe motels or on the street.


Having to say no ALL THE FREAKIN time when your kids ask for anything... including the $1.00 menu at McDonald's.


Having your kids get good at lying to avoid embarrasment at school.


Having people think you are poor AND lazy/sloppy, because they think you CHOOSE to wear your worn out clothes and shoes.


Breaking down in your car with your kids and having NO ONE to call for help.


Breaking down in your car with kids on the way to do something with those kids that they were looking forward to for soooo long, and having no one to call to help.


Having your phone cut off because you paid the heat instead, and then having no way to call for help or take any of those 5 million messages for the workers that make you jump through hoops to kep your paltry "benefits".


Having to wait in line 2, 4, 6, 12 hours to recieve that 1-2 gifts for your child for xmas, or that turkey, diapers, coat etc... because you have no money or family to buy that.


To live in constant fear that your kids will be taken away because you can't pay for everything ALL at once.


To tell your kid no they can not do scouts, swimming, sports, etc... because you cannot afford the $15 fee to sign up.


To have your kids think that going to the food bank is the store.


To get substandard food and be expected/told to be grateful just because poor people should shut up and be happy for anything.


To not have current pics of your kids because you can't afford school pics, portraits, or film.


To wonder how you are going to get by this/next month when your period comes and you have nothing for it so you end up using washclothes or wadded up toilet paper.


When you feel ashamed of your status and try to hide it and then have someone you know see you standing in line or at a food bank.


When you can never have a vacation with your kids.... when you can never get a break for yourself, when you truly start feeling like life is not worth living because it will never get better...


When that depression fills you and you have the bad bad thoughts and the days when your kids dont even seem to keep you "here"...





Ok maybe I should go take a breather too...:


I love all of you mamas. Everyone hang in there! I am so glad this thread is here.

Single mama to Alex(13), Maddy(12), Sam(8), Violet(6), and Ruby(3). fly-by-nursing1.gif
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Old 11-19-2007, 10:17 AM
 
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ahhh, safe. I checked!

so, good morning mamas!

duchslove and mamajamie, welcome!

its monday, wow. I have classes tomorrow, but edie doesn't. I may bring her in to my afternoon womens studies class. I would LOVE that.

while we are offering things.....I have a few winter jackets and some snowboots, and shoes, for like a 9 y/o girl.....maybe older (dd is a big girl). If anyone needs them. Shipping is tough, but we'll get it done.

I am going to DHHS to try to reapply for TANF for myself. Living off $91 a month +$57 a week, and $265 in FS is slaying us. I was denied benefits a few months ago because dd's father is involved in her life, so she is not "deprived!"I had EVERYONE write letters about how he is NOT a caregiver to her. He may have her a few nights a week, but she is certainly deprived of any caregiving on his part. Wish me luck, I'm scared.

If I do get TANF, I will be eligible for a program called PaS, parents as scholars, which is an amazing program ( yup, a comprehensive program that actually meets all a student mamas needs while she is in school) Please send the absolute most positive vibes to my worker.

gotta wake the little up for school, so gratitude........,
1. dd
2. section 8, i really am so grateful, and I don't take it for granted. I am so freaking lucky to have housing
3. the opportunity to go to school

I am scared that i won't be able to keep going to school, though, if I don't get some help here.

i started bleeding last night, so i am a bit whiney (and bitchy). I hate that my confidence goes out the window for about five days a month

have a good day, ladies

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 11-19-2007, 11:35 AM
 
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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
If I do get TANF, I will be eligible for a program called PaS, parents as scholars, which is an amazing program ( yup, a comprehensive program that actually meets all a student mamas needs while she is in school) Please send the absolute most positive vibes to my worker.


PaS is a great program, a good friend of mine got her BSW while in that program, I will send you some poistive vibes and hope that you can get TANF so you can get in PaS.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 11-19-2007, 11:40 AM
 
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Originally Posted by sonrisaa29 View Post
Wow I missed a lot being at work today. I got 3 extra hours of hours of overtime by coming early to work and this week is Thanksgiving so I'll be getting tons of overtime (I work at whole foods).

My DH has a job that pays well for what he does (around 45,000 a year plus benefits) but our student loan debt is killing us. Between the two of us its around $80,000 +. When we hit crisis like we are in now where I'm making $800.00 less a month since I lost my job in July, we don't qualify for Food stamps etc, because they don't take into consideration our bills.

Do you know what makes me feel really horrible though? THere have been some weeks where I"ve had to take change/money from my 3 year old "dragon" bank in order to buy groceries etc.

Your story sounds a lot like mine except that we have 40K in back taxes plus 100K in student loans, so we were paying out $600 a month on back taxes plus all the other bills and when I lost my job in July, the glass house of our finances crashed. It didn't help that my former employer tried to contest my unemployment so there was a month delay before I got that, and that is only $840 a month which is less than half of what I used to make. Combine that with the fact dh lost 50% of his income this year and we are screwed. Like you I tried to get help but because dh still is making about 40K our income is too high but with our debt load we are crushed beyond belief financially.

I hear you about taking the babies change, we have had to do similiar stuff, when dd got her birthday checks, we needed the money for bills .

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 11-19-2007, 02:38 PM
 
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Good luck ediesmom!!!!!!


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}





My hubby has about $45,000 in student loan debt also... for a worthless school. :

I hear you all on it!

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 11-19-2007, 05:23 PM
 
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} } To everyone!

Welcome to all the new mama on this thread! I hope you find the support that I have found here.

Ediesmom~ I am sending tons of good vibes your way!

I wish we had a comprehensive programs for moms in school here. I get a small grant that covers my fees, and the rest are loans. I am lucky enough that DD & DS2 are in the CDL on campus which is AMAZING! And it is based on my income, so it is free! They give me 2 hours of study time per unit, so I can get some homework done without the littles running around.

I have been talking with some of the other student mamas that I have met this semester & am putting together a resource for parents on campus. We will do fundraisers and the money will go into a fund for student parents who are struggling (as long as they are group members). We will also have a phone-tree so that if a parent or child is sick (or without a vehicle, etc.)another member on the phone-tree can bring them soup or TP or whatever it is they need. Another thing we hope to have is a type of childcare co-op for if a parent needs emergency childcare to attend class, appointments, etc. and a resource list for low- and no-cost services for single moms, and families. It will be a lot of work to put together, but I hope to work on the proposal & logistics of it over winter break. If anyone has ideas or advice please pm me!! I've never done anything like this, but it is much needed on campus. We had originally thought of focusing on single moms, but decided to expand it to encompass all struggling parents on-campus.

My dream is to open a coffee-shop (or something) on-campus where there is a play-area for kids & a homework area for parents with computers, etc. All of the profits would go towards the struggling parent fund. One can dream, right?

I'm not feeling great, I got the terrible head cold that is going around. That and I pinched a nerve in my back last week & it is still hurting

Three thankfuls:
1. Dreams, they keep me moving forward
2. My kids, they are my reason for improving life & not giving up the struggle
3. This thread & all of you mamas. You are the support system that I have desperately needed! I love you all!

.

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Old 11-19-2007, 05:28 PM
 
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s to everyone!!! I wish I could do more to help out some of you mamas out there... if any of the mamas out there need some clothes I have some size 4/6 pants and skirts and lots of random shoes... all really good stuff if anyone needs some business casual stuff or some jeans!! I think I also have a nice pea coat...

Rachel, proud Army wife to my superhero.gif and SAHM to my crazy boys jumpers.gif... Trevor 4/08, Trenton 6/09 and Travis 10/10
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Old 11-19-2007, 05:37 PM
 
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Cali that is an AWESOME idea!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Get the media involved... free publicity!

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 11-19-2007, 05:51 PM
 
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I am too new to be able to participate in the Holiday Helper, but I have two little boy's 6-9 months sleepers that I bought that did not fit the child I bought them for. If anyone needs them, PM me and I will send them to you. I am never at the store I bought them from so I don't want to bother returning them.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 11-19-2007, 06:00 PM
 
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I also have some dressy clothes that I don't wear anymore now that I work at the shelter. And also since I have lost weight : Our dress code is casual there, so I get to dress down

I checked my supply at the shelter the other day and we already have tons of dressy clothes in my size, so mine would probably just sit there unused... so if anyone here is in need of them, I can give them to you. They are plus sized 26/28.

ETA: Grown up clothes have been spoken for. The little sleepers I still have.

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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Old 11-19-2007, 06:16 PM
 
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Just a quick note to say I'm still lurking here. I'm still trying to find the words to post my intro. Just wanted to give a few {{{hugs}}} to everyone here.
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Old 11-19-2007, 06:24 PM
 
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DuchsLove, package went out this morning. I found some snowpants and some 4t and 2t clothes that I tossed in the bag. Hope your boys enjoy them!
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