November Low Income Mummas Support Thread - Page 23 - Mothering Forums

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#661 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:24 PM
 
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I never officially asked, but is it okay for me to post in this thread? I am not a Mom, and I usually do not live paycheck to paycheck- but I used to. I just sort of started talking without really introducing myself or anything :

Well my name is Jaime I have been married for two years. DH and I have a ton of medical bills thanks to me having surgery without insurance a few years ago. We just sort of plug along and pay as much as we can each month to those bills and try to live as frugally as possible. I manage a domestic violence shelter, and I work nights and weekends, but I can sleep at work as long as nothing is going on, which makes it really nice because then I can get lots of things done during the day.

This job pays me overtime once I hit 40 hours, and I average 70 hours a week, and I am allowed to eat dinner at the shelter every night I work there, which is why I am finally able to breathe a little bit easier as far as bills are concerned. I remember a few years ago when times were so tough that I was panicing about how I could afford to buy groceries. Then, out of the blue, a friend I met online sent me a $75 gift card in the mail. So now I try to pay it forward whenever I can, because someone helped me, now I want to help other people if I can.

We have no kids, just cats. Adorable cats though

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#662 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:26 PM
 
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i'm the new girl around here...but i have no issue with you posting whatsoever.

i think it's nice to just be surrounded by friendly people.
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#663 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:50 PM
 
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well, back from the soccer thing. gaggles of girls are so much fun

jaime--we are looking for solidarity, you have more than shown us that! I, for one, am so glad that you are not living in poverty but have chosen to come here and bless us with your kind words. I hope you receive the same:

it looks like today was a keeper for so many of us.

i'm going to have a hard time sleeping with all the anticipation of positive updates

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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#664 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:53 PM
 
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Jaime, we love you! No need to explain/apologize for posting here. We're an open group--we just don't like being talked down to, which fortunately doesn't happen *that often*.

BTW my DS is 8MO and loves my sister's kitty! Wants to pull his tail though... :
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#665 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:57 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
mamas, you are not going to believe this! my craigslist post for "philanthropic automotive repairs' got an answer. Someone is going to fix my car for the price of parts!

gotta go.................................
: So happy for you, mama!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And the other poster too--sorry forgot who--- the one with the Amazon GC!
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#666 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:57 PM
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I am going to do an intro

I have been reading these threads for months and I feel like I know all of you -- where do I start geez.... we are finally thank God, getting slowly out of poverty. We are a family of three, me, dh and our amazing 2.5 year old daughter and have been blessed so incredibly in the past few months by close friends and family who have helped us financially -- without them we literally would have been homeless. My husband is a very hard working man in a field that typically doesn't pay a lot (private music instructor) unless you have a plethora of students -- Some weeks we did okay, tried to save -- then something would come up that would drain it -- car repairs, a higher-than-expected electric bill (for instance) and things of that nature. We are thankful for our many blessings but at the same time, the daily struggle of keeping our heads above water has taken it's toll on us.

The worst of it was a couple of months ago when his students seemed to keep dwindling -- this one is moving, that one is choosing another instrument, this one's parents don't want to pay for lessons anymore, that one is going off to college ... boom boom boom and we were left scrambling to even pay the rent or buy food. Dh has been applying and interviewing for jobs like crazy and FINALLY THANK GOD got a job working for the county we live in. The pay is not super, but it is enough to get by and even *gasp* maybe save a tiny something or not have to constantly haggle with companies to not turn things off. Even so, we were so stressing about rent this month because we had nothing.... literally... nothing until his first pay check and but for the grace of God and FIL being kind financially (it PAINS dh emotionally to ask for money), our rent is paid.

Reading through all of your stories, struggles, successes I feel as though I am looking into parts of my own life -- some of the situations may be different but the feelings are certainly the same.

Man, I don't know why I didn't post before. You know why? Because smart people aren't supposed to be poor. Well spoken people aren't living on the brink of homelessness! Why, someone who left the army with an honorable discharge after working in military intelligence (dh) is supposed to be okay! There is no reason someone with a genius level IQ (both dh and I) should be close to homelessness unless they are lazy and unmotivated! People "our age" *should* have a house "like everyone else" and shouldn't have to borrow money from the parents.

All that crap, that's why. Because we aren't "poor people". We aren't like "them".

Of course I don't feel that way because I am poor people. Yes, you can be wonderful, talented, educated, intelligent, well spoken, and a GOOD PARENT and still be poor.

I wonder sometimes who gets treated worse, the stereotypical "poor" people, or people like us because people rationalize that they can't help it, but we can so we must be REALLY lazy moochers who just don't wanna work. Sorry this is becoming ranty...

Anyway, I am here, and I am thankful. Gratitude is a huge, huge part of my life and I believe that all the thankful lists in the last few days was a big motivator to get up the courage to post. So here is my list:

1. so grateful for my loving husband and healthy daughter and that I am for all intents and purposes, healthy and in good spirits most of the time.

2. for my husband getting the new job. It is secure, he will be treated well, the pay is decent, and the benefits are INCREDIBLE (we have not had insurance for years)

3. Our little apartment which I have tried to make a cozy, happy, warm place despite the occasional roach (EW). I have never felt unsafe here even though it isn't in the best part of town, it isn't in the worst either.

4. Our family and friends -- especially my best friend who has helped me so much emotionally (and even financially) -- she has never, ever tried to make me feel any less than wonderful and that is such a gift

5. Our computer that my sister who is also wonderful and amazing, put on her Dell acct for us when ours died and we couldn't afford another one (we make the payments but they are low thank God)


6. MDC - it has been such a wealth of support and understanding and even though I am guilty of the occasional snarkiness, I hope I have helped and supported way more people than have debated with.

7. Food in our cupboards -- we go to a scratch and dent type place, it is technically a food bank I suppose but you pay for the items -- they get huge organic and hfs donations so we are able to eat a whole lot of organics and such for very low prices

8. My strong faith. I am a Christian but your mileage may vary This isn't about the actual belief system --- I am just so thankful I have faith to sustain me. It is so very important and without it I would be way worse off emotionally and spiritually imo.

9. The fact that even though we are below the poverty level in the US, we are SO much better off than so many people -- we have running water, hot water for instance.

10. That my daughter doesn't have a clue what is going on -- she just knows she is happy, healthy, fed, clothed -- that we have not been so bad off that it has affected her -- just us stress-wise.

Oh, and I have had to take from dd's piggy bank too -- it is a terrible feeling but at least it was for ya know, food or laundry or something and not drugs or something ya know?

Thanks for letting me get it out mamas.
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#667 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 10:58 PM
 
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Hi, I'm back again. It's been a heck of a week already (and it's only Monday!):
My car died on the way home from work today. (luckily in FRONT of my house) I don't know what it is, I think it's something electrical, because for some weird reason my radio died a whole bunch of times before the car finally died.
Anyways, now I have to borrow my ex's car until I can figure out what's wrong with mine. I just hope that it's not TOO expensive.
Wish me luck!

mama to dd1 17yo, ds1 16yo, ds2 13 yo, and dd2 6yo
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#668 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:06 PM
 
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Alright... I'm going to do it this time. I am GOING to post an intro. I've tried several other times but obviously never submitted it. Partly because I just don't know what to say, partly because I guess we don't *technically* qualify as low-income (at least not in the eyes of Colorado), and partly because of the conditioning to just sit down, shut up, and be happy things aren't worse. Right?
Wrong! Just b/c the state doesn't think you qualify, doesn't mean you can make it on what you have! I think we all know that very well... to you and DH and DDs! Glad you posted here! If there's anything you need, let us know!
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#669 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:08 PM
 
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Yay, for selling stuff on the TP, mrskennedy!! Maybe we are having a lucky streak......just in time for Thanksgiving?
: Let's all cross our fingers that it continues!
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#670 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:10 PM
 
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Hi, I'm back again. It's been a heck of a week already (and it's only Monday!):
My car died on the way home from work today. (luckily in FRONT of my house) I don't know what it is, I think it's something electrical, because for some weird reason my radio died a whole bunch of times before the car finally died.
Anyways, now I have to borrow my ex's car until I can figure out what's wrong with mine. I just hope that it's not TOO expensive.
Wish me luck!
Thinking of you too!
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#671 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:13 PM
 
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['

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#672 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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Aura~ Where in CA are you, if you don't mind saying (a general area)?

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#673 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:14 PM
 
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to you and your family, captain crunchy!!!
I know what you mean about high IQs... Mine is 143, and look where I am... : Dropped out of college b/c I had no other choice, am taking medical transcription now, on SSI, FS, etc. Feels like ! But there ya go...
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#674 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:36 PM
 
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OMGOMGOMGOMG I just got THE call from the supervisor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I CAN"T BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!I AM SO EXCITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I'M IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!IF MY SHOULDER DIDN"T HURT I WOULD DO CARTWHEELS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I"M IN I"M IN
OH YAY! I'm SO very excited for you!

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1. All of you here and the fact that my boys are going to have warm coats this winter.
I'm also so glad that your boys will be warm, and that you don't have to worry anymore. We were freaking out about my DS too... we couldn't find anything used in his size, and couldn't afford anything new. The idea of little kids without warm coats for the winter makes me cry every time I think about it -- okay, partly because I'm pregnant and a big ole mess of hormonal nuts-ness... but also because I'm from Minnesota originally and I remember winters so cold that we couldn't go to school because the cold was literally life threatening, even with warm jackets. It makes me mad that we live in a society where any mama should have to worry about keeping her babies warm in the winter.

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Also ~~ Does anyone here know the official, legal, CA rules about how long is officially excused from work / work-related activities in regards to surgery - ??? I need to have surgery again and I have no idea how much time is officially covered... I'm terrified they are going to make me go out immediately after massive abdominal surgery and after starting intense medication to find work. : Please someone tell me I have some leeway here....
I've done some work with California Disability, and holycrap is there nothing going on at work this week (seriously... it's like we're all in Sleeping Beauty's castle or something... it's creepy!), so if you want to send me a PM about what kind of surgery you're having I'd be happy to see what I can find.

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mamas, you are not going to believe this! my craigslist post for "philanthropic automotive repairs' got an answer. Someone is going to fix my car for the price of parts!

gotta go.................................
Oh. My. God. That's WONDERFUL! How completely awesome for you!

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Then I checked my email - we've been adopted on singlerose.com's angel assistance program!!!!! :::: :::: So we'll be getting an amazon.com gift cert I believe {and I'm already thinking of things to get DD with it!}. NEW BOOKS!!!!!! And I WILL NOT use this for textbooks - I refuse to.
Okay, all of these good day posts are making me tear up. I'm so happy to hear about good things happening for all you mamas! This is totally making my day too... and all I have to be excited about is a sleeping (FINALLY) Toddler and the news that Costco might, possibly, replace our freezer without making us bring the current broken one and it's toxic contents all the way to the Twin Cities. I'd still have to get a letter from the health department AND a letter from an electrician saying that it's fried, but it's better than having to clean it and schlep it across state lines.

Any good wishes or white light is appreciated -- I know it's trivial, but we really rely on the freezer and this beef deal is literally too good to be true, and I don't want to miss out on it.

Spending all of my money and time on this wild, wild life.
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#675 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:42 PM
 
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Belleweather~ I am sending you lots of good vibes!

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#676 of 1296 Old 11-19-2007, 11:54 PM
 
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Belleweather~ I am sending you lots of good vibes!
: belleweather!!!
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#677 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 12:47 AM
 
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Ewww!!!! The toilet in my kids' bathroom started to overflow (with yuckiness in it). Luckily I got the water valve turned off in time, but I just realized that I don't have a plunger! What do I do mamas? I am tired & don't feel good & I don't wanna deal with this yuckiness!

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#678 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 01:07 AM
 
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Ewww!!!! The toilet in my kids' bathroom started to overflow (with yuckiness in it). Luckily I got the water valve turned off in time, but I just realized that I don't have a plunger! What do I do mamas? I am tired & don't feel good & I don't wanna deal with this yuckiness!
a frisbee will work as a plunger I'm told - just incase you have one laying around.
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#679 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 01:12 AM
 
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A frisbee? Really? I don't think I have one, but I'm curious if it really works?

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#680 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 01:18 AM
 
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WOW, what a great day for lots of us. Congrats to all!!

Welcome to the newbies!! You have shown such kindness with your words.

We've had a day here. Its about 1.5 weeks until my oldest turns 10 and I had to have "the talk" with her about not knowing what or when a birhtday present will appear. All she said was, thats okay Mom, I have everything htat I need I have my family". She melted my heart and broke it all at the same time.

What are everyone's plans for Turkey day?

Oh and to the Mama who needs flannel jammies this winter. JCPenney's will have them CHEAP on Friday and Aldi also has some on sale next week I believe.

My 5 year old has been getting up a few times a night for about a month now and I"m SOO EXHAUSTED. I"ll see you all in the morning!!!

: :Mama to 4 girls and Michael is here 9/11/09 We love :::
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#681 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:06 AM
 
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ediesmom ~~ MAJOR congrats on the car!!!

CaliMommie ~~ I once used an old 2 liter soda bottle. YES it works. It just makes a mess.


captain crunchy ~~ (( welcome! )) And... that was something I had to get past, too.... in addition to all my other personal and socio-economic Issues... I had the hang-up of being "clinically smart" ~ IQ = 180 ~ but having all these other problems that made me feel like such a "failure." Finally I realized... Success and Failure ~ these things are defined by our actions within the world, not by numbers on a page, be they IQ stats or grade percentages or salary figures. And sometimes, we can't pull the six-figure salary or the hundred percent in a class, because other issues hold us back... and it's how we get past those problems, how we deal with our challenges and if we rise to meet them or if we wilt beneath them, that really defines who we are ~~ and that's what really matters.

:
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#682 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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We've had a day here. Its about 1.5 weeks until my oldest turns 10 and I had to have "the talk" with her about not knowing what or when a birhtday present will appear. All she said was, thats okay Mom, I have everything htat I need I have my family". She melted my heart and broke it all at the same time.
What does your DD like/want/need? Maybe we can help? What a sweet girl you've got there!
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#683 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:10 AM
 
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Wow! I'm learning lots of new ways to deal with clogged toilets!

Aura~ I like how you worded your thoughts about success & failure.

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#684 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:11 AM
 
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What does your DD like/want/need? Maybe we can help? What a sweet girl you've got there!
: :

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#685 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:12 AM
 
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You're right, Aura_Kitten. Thanks for that post. It means a lot right now, and I'm sure it will to others here too!
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#686 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:13 AM
 
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I will work until 8:30 AM on Thanksgiving. Then I'll go home and DH and I will go to his parent's house for dinner. Then at 4 PM I will go back to work and probably have another yummy meal there. A local church is offering to cook dinner for my clients. It is bound to be super good

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#687 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:15 AM
 
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What does your DD like/want/need? Maybe we can help? What a sweet girl you've got there!

ribbonpurple.gif  "And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more than the risk it took to blossom." Anais Nin
   
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#688 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:16 AM
 
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Does anyone here want a professional, chromatic, 10-hole harmonica in C? I have one and will ship to anyone here who could use it! It's been played, but is in excellent condition and will be thoroughly sterilized before shipping. Disinfectant spray included too, if you want it. PM me if interested.
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#689 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:20 AM
 
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Ever have those poverty moments where you just want to scream at someone for their stupidity????? Or their callousness??????


So today I pull up in my car at the bus stop to wait for my older daughter. The toddler is in her carseat and we are moments from heading out to run errands. Another child's dad walks up to say hello(it's a VERY casual friendship since we only chat at the bus stop and never see them otherwise and they live 2 streets over) and notices the giant circular crack in my window. He asks about it. I tell him that it's about a year old and it's not all the way through the double pane and that my warranty was up when it happened(it's above my vent and I was defrosting and defogging the window taking dd to school on a snowy day and it just busted all of a sudden from the temp differences I think) and I wasn't replacing it with christmas and a birthday and an unpaid maternity leave coming up. So what does he say to me??? " But you WILL replace it next year because it's illegal to drive with it like that. I'm sure you know that." I just looked at him with my jaw on my ever-disappearing lap. Ummmmmmmm, yeah I know that. But guess what poopiehead????????? It's gonna cost me $200 that I don't have PLUS more money for new inspection stickers that I DON"T HAVE! So forgive me if I can't afford to fix it. I'd rather feed my children first.: Must be nice to live in his big gorgeous house with a wife who can stay at home and voluteer at their church even though both their children are school age. Must be nice to afford brand new cars every few years and brand new clothing constantly for the kids and LLBean backpacks. : What irritates me is that he knows I"m a single parent. He knows I work hard for a living but I'm a waitress and don't make much. He knows we have another baby on the way. He judged me before when he found out that my husband moved out since his version of very very very religious sentiment states that divorce is wrong. He judged me and told me that we needed to talk to someone in his church about the marriage and get some counseling and that too many people give up on marriage these days. But ya know what????? He doesn't know what goes on behind closed doors and doens't know the reason for the break-up of the marriage and he doesn't know my financial situation. So why would he feel justified in judging me when he knows nothing of the inner details of the situation. It wasn't like he was being helpful and cautioning me against waiting to fix it because it is illegal. He was getting in my face and telling me that I WILL fix the window because it's illegal and I'm doing something wrong. Maybe he'd like to pay to fix my illegal windshield????? Does he think I enjoy risking a fine???? Does he think I LIKE trying to see around a giant circular crack that takes up a good 1/3 of my window??? Not on your LIFE buddy!:

treehugger.gifjog.gifgreenthumb.gifknit.gifnamaste.gif

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#690 of 1296 Old 11-20-2007, 02:21 AM
 
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What does your DD like/want/need? Maybe we can help? What a sweet girl you've got there!


My offer still stands too.

Resistance is futile Matey
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