November Low Income Mummas Support Thread - Mothering Forums

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Old 10-30-2007, 02:54 PM - Thread Starter
 
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I know it's a bit early, but I thought I would start this thread. (Mostly because if I don't force myself to start the thread, I won't post at all, and I really need the support...)

On a previous support thread, someone called life below the poverty line "bone-grindingly hard". That phrase is so perfect. I feel like I'm already doing all I can in the 24 hours I have every day, and it's still. not. enough. I work 40+ hours per week in an office. You'd think I'd make enough money to live on, but just trying to keep my 4 children fed, clothed, healthy, sheltered and warm takes just about everything I make, and then when you add school supplies, birthdays, Christmas, et cetera, and I just want to give up and cry.

This year, it's even worse. Nearly all of our quilts and blankets are finally giving their last gasp (they're all really old and get regular use), and winter in Montana is long and cold.

I'm so tired of not being able to provide my children with the life I want them to have. (I know they don't need ipods, mobile phones and 150 television channels, but is a warm bed too much to ask? )

Thanks for listening to me whinge.

Visit www.evolutiontosimplicity.blogspot.com to follow my epic saga of single mummahood....

 

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Old 10-30-2007, 03:11 PM
 
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bone grindingly hard is perfect!

I just got a call from my mother - the tire blew out on our van, and they are stuck 20 miles from here. Argh - if only I'd gone with them this morning instead of staying home with DD to clean - they wouldn't have gotten lost & probably wouldn't have blown the tire out!:

So there goes who knows how much out the door {we will get reimbursed for the towing, but now we need a new tire} to fix the van up.

and now I have to take the bus over to DD's pedi to pick up her formula perscription for WIC {she gets a supplement due to my thyroid issues} which is a 1.5 bus ride each way. Not fun. I'm going to see if my parent's caregiver can run me over there in her car - it'd be so much faster.

and my ebay auction hasn't move at all price-wise in over 24 hours. It's got just under 23 hours to go, and I really really hope it jumps in price because otherwise I'm practically giving a brand new digitial camera away.
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Old 10-30-2007, 05:01 PM
 
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((hugs )) ladies.
Last week we had a little ray of hope at our house, I was giddy at the thought of being able to give my kids gifts this year at Christmas.
This morning DH headed into class only to have the tranny go out on the highway. The same van we spent 1400 on in Aug. Loooks like its gonna cost 1,800.

Oh yeah and DH leaves for work on Fri and thats 300 miles away.

gotta wonder why I bother some days.
I was wrong Nov isnt gonna be different
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Old 10-30-2007, 05:10 PM
 
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mamas!

I want to give up too--all the time! But that's simply not an option... So I just keep going, keep looking at stuff piling up--sh***t as always, not good stuff--and keep training and trying to bring something in besides. I dread the mail each day... It hasn't brought good news since May--and it's pretty bad when you remember when the last GOOD letter came!

again! Thinking of all of you! I know just what you're going through!
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Old 10-30-2007, 05:37 PM
 
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s everyone! The only reason we are doing ok right now is because of my parents and the fact that we are staying with them rent free, and they aren't asking us to pay for food... We are going to have move eventually, we can't keep spending 700-800 a month on gas, but we aren't moving till we know where DP will be working... then we will move as close to that as possible... everything will be ok in the end mamas!!!!!

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Old 10-30-2007, 10:25 PM
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Ya know, we're pretty far below the poverty line for a family of 5 and I don't think it's "bone grindingly hard". I mean sure, some things really blow but you have to look past those and see all the good things in life.

I work 2 difficult jobs (nursing assistant and waitress) and have 3 small children. Sometimes, like today when I was helping with the post mortem care of a 500lb woman, I want to run away. Then I got home and my baby hugged me--that made everything okay. We're also going through bankruptcy, but at least all of our debt except for our mortgage and student loans are gone

Try not to dwell on the bad. There will always be crappy situations that we have to deal with.
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Old 10-30-2007, 10:45 PM
 
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bone grindingly hard is perfect!

I just got a call from my mother - the tire blew out on our van, and they are stuck 20 miles from here. Argh - if only I'd gone with them this morning instead of staying home with DD to clean - they wouldn't have gotten lost & probably wouldn't have blown the tire out!:

So there goes who knows how much out the door {we will get reimbursed for the towing, but now we need a new tire} to fix the van up.

and now I have to take the bus over to DD's pedi to pick up her formula perscription for WIC {she gets a supplement due to my thyroid issues} which is a 1.5 bus ride each way. Not fun. I'm going to see if my parent's caregiver can run me over there in her car - it'd be so much faster.

and my ebay auction hasn't move at all price-wise in over 24 hours. It's got just under 23 hours to go, and I really really hope it jumps in price because otherwise I'm practically giving a brand new digitial camera away.

First off . I just happened to see this thread and started reading it. I dont know what youre going through but I wanted to let you know that just incase you dont get what you want for the camera, you can pull the auction right before it ends. Or another option is to get a friend to bid on it and win it that way you arent out either. I know it sounds shady, but I had a friend do it who was going to get only half of what her cell phone was worth. But on a side note, all my auctions go up by nearly 100% in the last 24 hours.

7/09 at 7 weeks - love you peanut
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Old 10-30-2007, 10:46 PM
 
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when it rains it pours - seriously.

We headed off to air up the front tire on our van {spare got put on back opp. side} and it blew up less than halfway there.

We're now out a total of $712 for new tires, and 2 towing trips. on a good note though we will get back $80 of the towing and around $125 of the tires back as rebates.

and now we have put the kiss of death on our van - new tires. I've yet to have one not die within 2 weeks of putting even 1 new tire on it.
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Old 10-30-2007, 11:04 PM
 
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s
I'm right there with you, mama. It seems like once you get ahead, something sets you back. We knew things were going to be rough this month because we make settlement on our house November 15th and all of the closing costs and everything are going to eat our entire savings. But we had the home inspection yesterday and now there's another $3K worth of stuff that needs to be done in the next few months and I have no idea where that money is going to come from - that would be my entire salary, forget about the mortgage, bills, and food.

But we will have a roof over our heads and a house full of love during this cold winter, and that's more than I can say for some people. So I can't complain too much.

Lauren
Mama to one awesome little girl and her adorable baby brother.
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Old 11-01-2007, 03:28 AM
 
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BUMP



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Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 11-01-2007, 03:55 AM
 
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today has gone so-so.

Pedi finally faxed the script to WIC - we went over right away since they could squeeze us in. Then we had to wait 3 hours for someone from state to okay it: and we can't use the vouchers until the 14th. So now I'm stuck with no formula to supplement with because I can't afford the $40 OOP for it. The gal from WIC is looking into getting me some sample formula from other clinics though. On a good note though - DD gained 3lbs and nearly and inch in height in about 6 weeks - she's been on the formula for about a month now so we definately know what helped her weight gain.

My camera auction ended at $530 - but then was voided by ebay because the guy that won was using a stolen acct. So now I have to relist and start over again. So it'll be another week before I get those funds. Hopefully it'll bring more the next time around.

I've got a huge stack of stuff to list on CL though, and we're getting ready for a yardsale a week from saturday, so we should be getting some funds in.

we took DD TOT tonight - she had a blast! It was the 1st time she went, and it took her a few houses to get the hang of it but she ended up loving it!

Saturday we're going to a free baby shower event at one of the local hospitals. It's normally catered by a local BBQ place that is wonderful, and we're hoping it's being catered by them again so we can get free lunch! Plus it's within a block of the main library, so we can hit their wonderful used book store while we are there {I pick up books for .10-.50 there!}
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Old 11-01-2007, 06:30 AM
 
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will be back later....
midterms are eating my brain.........
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Old 11-01-2007, 09:55 AM
 
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me too aura kitten.

Visit the Holiday Helper thread and join in on the giving and fun! Loving and working with the plants. I have a store! or two!
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:17 AM
 
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:20 AM
 
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Hey guys, can I join????? I posted once or twice last month but got overwhelmed with the thread and just read. I hear you about getting scared with the impending winter. I'm trying to get on the heating assistance list(I believe it starts today Nov 1st) to have help because we have gas heat and it was $90 per month last year to FREEZE. This year we won't make it through I think. AND I have a babe due in Feb and we can't freeze with a baby in the house. PLUS I have to save for maternity leave and I'm scared that I wont' be able to. It just breaks my heart to go back to work at 6 weeks pp and leave her with her dad and a bottle when I know he'll make her cio and wont' change her bum frequently enough. : I"m just having a sad, overwhelmed day. He is filing today for divorce, so I'm having trouble with it.

But the good thing is, Halloween last night was fun. My girls really got into it. They were fairies and they ran from house to house getting candy and probably ate MAYBE 3 pieces when they were done. And when we drove back home(went to my husband's aunt's house and neighborhood for a bonfire and trick or treating), they lasted about 3 minutes literally before they were asleep.

Anyone else really enjoy halloween???

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Old 11-01-2007, 11:26 AM
 
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I am joining. I called today to get information on eligibility for social assistance because my financial situation isn't good. They told me the most you can get is $1008 per month - any income that you receive. That means the most I could receive would be $650 - income from my job (since I already receive child support and tax/child care benefits). I do have a job that I have just started and it is with the local school board as a casual admin/finance.

The problem is that I started on October 17th and I haven't worked a day yet. I am also advertising for babysitting and tutoring. I suspect that I will make more than $650 each month so social assistance isn't going to work for me. I had better!

I thinking about applying for seasonal jobs but child care can be an issue. I applied for housing help in the summer and I am on a waiting list. I recently applied for child care help but they are still deciding on that - it is confusing with the on call part of the job.

Ahhh! I went from having a good job with benefits, a good place to live with a car to being a very low income single mother in less than one year. It is stressful.
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:31 AM
 
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Ahhh! I went from having a good job with benefits, a good place to live with a car to being a very low income single mother in less than one year. It is stressful.

I hear ya. I've gone from being a sahm with ENOUGH money to do fun things wiht the kids if I was frugal to being a single mama to two with another on the way scraping just to put food on the table and waitressing tables while pregnant. It's HARD WORK!

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Old 11-01-2007, 11:36 AM
 
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Wow...October went really fast, huh?

We had an OK night going TOT. Went next door to Mom's then down into town to my grandparent's house. I say it was "OK" because we were planning to meet up with my cousin & his little girl to to TOT around my grandparent's neighborhood. For some reason though my cousin pulled up to their house, saw our car in the drive, then went & took his little girl around without us. We bumped into them as we were coming out of the house to go TOT ourselves (having sat around waiting for them for like an hour...) Well, needless to say 3 yo DD was REALLY looking forward to TOT with her cousin & when she realized she wasn't coming with us after all she LOST IT. Poor kid was standing on the sidewalk crying her heart out. She got over it & we had an OK time, but she was wiped after like 2 blocks. We ended up being home & in bed by 8. Needless to say I'm : with my cousin.
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:46 AM
 
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<grrrrr>

I just had to toss 1 1/2 lbs of burger because one of our cats got into the sink where it was thawing, grabbed the baggie, dragged it out of the sink, chewed a hole through it & started eating the burger.

Now my *other* bag is sitting in the sink covered with a big pot to protect it from the burger thief. *sigh* I'm just not digging our cats lately....I'm not even going to go into how much I resent the $$$ each month for litter & cat food. We can't find homes for them though. We've tried & NOBODY wants an adult cat and the humane society has a wait list 1000 miles long....

Oh, and we have 6 cats from our pre-kid days (5 years TTC DD1...can you say surrogate kids??? ) so the bill for them over a year is pretty hefty.
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:50 AM
 
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Oh crap. I forgot about heating. I guess we need to start the arduous process of filling out the paperwork so we can get some help, too.

In other news, the affordable housing lottery that we thought we won, then thought we lost, is back in our hands. The people in line ahead of us backed out for one reason or another. So the good news is now we can start the process of trying to get a mortgage. We still don't know if we will be able to afford it though. We are waiting to find out what the monthly condo fee will be. Insurance may hurt us, too. Also, the laundry situation is coin-op, so we have to figure out how much that would cost us. I'm feeling really conflicted about it all. Part of me wants to do everything possible to make it happen b/c this really probably is our only chance to own something. We're pretty fed up w/ crappy landlords and the annual move. But at the same time, if we had our choice about buying, we would NEVER choose the condo they are offering. Mostly, I do feel grateful that we have this opportunity, but it just reminds me of how much harder things are when you're low income.
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Old 11-01-2007, 11:55 AM
 
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Wow...October went really fast, huh?

We had an OK night going TOT. Went next door to Mom's then down into town to my grandparent's house. I say it was "OK" because we were planning to meet up with my cousin & his little girl to to TOT around my grandparent's neighborhood. For some reason though my cousin pulled up to their house, saw our car in the drive, then went & took his little girl around without us. We bumped into them as we were coming out of the house to go TOT ourselves (having sat around waiting for them for like an hour...) Well, needless to say 3 yo DD was REALLY looking forward to TOT with her cousin & when she realized she wasn't coming with us after all she LOST IT. Poor kid was standing on the sidewalk crying her heart out. She got over it & we had an OK time, but she was wiped after like 2 blocks. We ended up being home & in bed by 8. Needless to say I'm : with my cousin.
October went soooo fast!!

That is so sad about your poor DD. How terrible of your cousin. I certainly hope there is a reasonable explanation.

"If we are peaceful, if we are happy, we can smile and blossom like a flower, and everyone in our family, our entire society, will benefit from our peace." ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
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Old 11-01-2007, 12:18 PM
 
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Oh yeah, thank you for the heating assist reminder! Hopefully the program here starts today so I can ask for them to mail me an app. I have to call them anyways to reschedule the FS recert - I just love how they set the time and date FOR ME :and mail me the notice and it was just totally not doable last week.

I still have to walk down to the WIC office and pick up my new ID before my checks go to waste : I really should do that today.

I found out the other day that we're being taken to court over unpaid medical bills. : I'd already called the attn's office and I'm being mailed a fin. aid application so that I can make payment arrangements. We were planning on paying that plus other back debt w/ next years taxes. Con: There's another bill/more money to pay now that I wasn't anticipating. Pro: It will be less for us to owe next year I guess. Sigh.

I'm glad that I have the oppt to catch up somewhat, and grateful I can pay Nov rent in full today. I guess I'm just fustrated that it seems like I've been throwing money at everything coming my way and it all just keeps piling up even more. After rent and bills, I haven't even tried to figure out how I'm going to figure in Dh wanting a cell phone (trying to talk him out of that one) for AIT, fixing our car, paying the tow fee and get-it-on-the-road fees, plus mo. insurance and resuming our car payments (to the tune of 280 a mo - I WISH DH NEVER BOUGHT THAT DAMN CAR!), and giving money to our old LL we still owe as I promised I would, they are willing to cut us a deal so long as I'm willing to give them something.

Oh yeah and Dh will be needing a chunk of change for a plane ticket for Thanksgiving in two weeks. So there is a whole paycheck I can't really touch, well I don't plan to, we've already had to shine on getting to see him today and tomorrow (no wonder I'm gloomy today) by golly he will be getting on a plane to come home and see us!

And some people (IRL) don't understand while I'm still trying to keep in w/ SS programs.

No wonder I want to go stick my head in the sand.
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Old 11-01-2007, 12:19 PM
 
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October went soooo fast!!

That is so sad about your poor DD. How terrible of your cousin. I certainly hope there is a reasonable explanation.
Yeah, I pretty much know the reason. He's an alcoholic & was in a "mood". I imagine his girlfriend made them rush through everything to get him home before he did something he regretted. I feel bad for his DD & GF, but that doesn't make me less sad for DD you know?

Honestly, I suppose it's partly my fault too. I didn't call to confirm we were meeting with them. It's just something our family has DONE for years & years. Our mom's did it when he & I were the kids! I didn't tell DD that we'd definitly go TOT with them, but she *remembers* TOT with them from last year.
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Old 11-01-2007, 12:54 PM
 
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I'm in!

I'm Laura, with a 14yo, 4yo, 2yo. On the one hand we're very lucky because we have a caretaking situation and don't have to pay rent or utilities -have to work for it but that's okay On the other hand though my dp has been out of work since Feb, we've gone through our savings and are struggling with a large cc debt from our transatlantic move three years ago. The only income we have is the $100 -150 that I make doing in home childcare but it's so unreliable, no kids = no $$.

Seeing it written down depresses me so much. :

I'm dreading Christmas, especially for the teen, we can wing it with the littler ones by recycling out some old toys or something. I'm also keeping my fingers crossed about our van, it had two problems last month that we just put on the cc and it needs a new headlight now.

Oh well, I'm off to put on some upbeat music, clean and bake a pumpkin pie while dp is out with dd's school trip.
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Old 11-01-2007, 01:36 PM
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Tis NOT the season for car trouble!! Breaking down away from home is one of my biggest fears. I think I'll ask my mom to get me AAA for xmas. I need to do so much to my van. I desperately need tires and an alignment. I need to put power streering fluid in, but I don't have the cash for that till prolly Saturday.

janerose, I think your cousin is at fault there with the TOT situation. I'm sorry your DD was so upset over it. I'd be mad at your cat too

Earthgirl, I think it is great that you are back in the running for that affordable housing. I think it's kind of sucky that they aren't putting in washer and dryer hookups in each condo. Would you be happy there, knowing you are paying a mortgage and still have to go to a laundromat?

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Old 11-01-2007, 01:47 PM
 
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I swear, I can't win. Our car window fell off the track yesterday - my dad tried to fix and wound up making the problem worse, so it's in the shop. So money needs to be spent for transportation, not to mention I'm awaiting the bill expecting the worst.

I might need to start looking for a second job.

Lauren
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Old 11-01-2007, 02:10 PM
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I had a window go off it's track before. Not good especially if you live somewhere cold and it's stuck open.

I think I'll go smudge my van...

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Old 11-01-2007, 02:21 PM
 
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November, huh.

I am so sorry to read everyones struggles. It is so difficult! To top t all off today I think I caught a flu bug. I am too woozy to wait for the bus in the cold to go sit in class and spread the wooze. If I could just drive I might consider infecting others, but its too daunting....I'll keep my sickness to myself.

I, for one, am jacked that October is a thing of the past! Could we all do the three things we are grateful for thing?

1. all the wool socks stuffed in my drawer just waiting to take their turn to warm my toes
2. armour (all the thyroid mamas will know what that means....or should)
3. freecycle.....just picked up a bag of totally wearable clothes! my dd is so big, we wear the same size, so we can divvy them up.

i gotta throw my poochies into my gratitude list. They are so understanding when I feel pooey. warm snoozing poochies are good for the flu

oh, i'm also pretty darn grateful for this thread, and the forum in general. It got me through October

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 11-01-2007, 04:34 PM
 
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3 things I'm grateful for:

1.diaperswappers.com: one of the ladies there just PM'ed me about a flat rate box of 6-9months clothing that she'll send me ffs(free for shipping) for little big bird. And a few weeks back another mama sent me two boxes of 3-6months stuff for 2 boxes of 24months stuff that my toddler has outgrown. So once I secure some 0-3months stuff, this kid is set. Between the ffs stuff and our hand-me-downs starting at 12months, she will be good to go. Then I just need to come up with stuff for the oldest girl.

2. my mil. she's a constant support ssytem for me. even though dh and I are getting divorced, I try to keep her involved and friendly with me by giving her pics of the girls frequently or updating her on the midwife appts, or by asking her to come to babies r us with me to make a registry for the baby. she's picking up the kids today after work for me so I can head to work a little early and make some money and whenever dh has drill(air guard), she keeps them for the weekends so I can work. And when I had a small mental breakdown 2 weeks ago and started crying when dh yelled at me, she was there all the way comforting me, chastising him for stressing me out, etc. I LOVE her!

3. my cat. he may be a giant pain in my rear and he may chase yarn balls all over the house while I sleep and wake up the kids in the morning before I want them up and cost me money in food and litter but he's such a great comfort too. When it's all dark and lonely at night and I'm sitting on the couch knitting and watching tv, he climbs up into my lap to snuggle. And he's not a snuggler. he doesn't like to be picked up and he won't come up to be pet but he will climb into my lap each night for some snuggling(as long as I dont' pet him!) when I am feelign the most alone and the most sad. it's like he knows.

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Old 11-01-2007, 05:07 PM
 
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Quickly the 3 things I'm grateful for today:

1) The weather was nice enough for us to take a nice walk down to the mailbox, playing in the dirt, checking out rocks & generally enjoying being outside before winter sets in.

2) That after 50 min on the phone with Sallie Mae it looks like we qualify for an economic hardship deferment on our school loans. Now if they'd just e-mail me the link for the forms I need to fill out I could get those faxed to them and we'd be all set...

3) Payday is tomorrow & I was able to mail out all our due bills while still having enough left over for groceries & gas for the next 2 weeks. No extra really, but at least we can cover the basics!
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