December Lower Income and/or Struggling Mama's Support Thread - Page 3 - Mothering Forums

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#61 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 08:08 PM
 
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wow thystle. you amaze me

i believe!

so, I had to get out of my funk so i called a gf.....we're going rollerskating tonight! edie and i go sometimes, but i'm so looking forward to going out with the girls...these are the ladies who do the drag king show I went to see last weekend. it should be hilarious

little do they know i actually love to skate, and am good at it....my geekness is about to be revealed!

its hard to justify the expense but i'm gonna do it and have fun. I'll take it out of the christmas budget

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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#62 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 08:44 PM
 
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Thystle, thank you.. That was a beautiful reminder.



Quote:
Originally Posted by ~*Jaime View Post
I went through something similar last night. A friend was complaining about how poor she was, so I start offering to help her trim costs. I was willing to look at her grocery list, etc, to see what she could eliminate, etc. Well she got moody with me about it, like what? I am only trying to help, take it or leave it, you know? :

I am sorry your friend did that to you. That stinks You are a nice friend to offer to help her though!!!
I'm sorry that you have a "friend" like mine. : I wish more people could come together to talk about money problems instead of complaining about it, but then not wanting to actually LISTEN to other people. So many people have knowledge that others don't. We all can learn things from each other. Some people though... I guess they think they know it all already. :



I have a feeling sometimes people just want a sounding board, and I get that I guess.. but still, no reason to be snarky or mean ya know?


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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post

its hard to justify the expense but i'm gonna do it and have fun. I'll take it out of the christmas budget
Stop right there!! I do the same thing you're doing right now... so I know that you're beating yourself up for spending the money already, and you haven't even enjoyed it yet! Go and rollerskate! And think of me while you do it! I love to skate! Its been so long since I have though that I think I might just fall on my arse if I tried.

Seriously though.. don't feel guilty for enjoying something. We mamas don't spend enough money on ourselves. I know I don't. When you finally get to the point where you buy something or do something... don't look back! Just do it!!!!

Have a wonderful time!

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#63 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 08:46 PM
 
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Originally Posted by ediesmom View Post
wow thystle. you amaze me

i believe!

so, I had to get out of my funk so i called a gf.....we're going rollerskating tonight! edie and i go sometimes, but i'm so looking forward to going out with the girls...these are the ladies who do the drag king show I went to see last weekend. it should be hilarious

little do they know i actually love to skate, and am good at it....my geekness is about to be revealed!

its hard to justify the expense but i'm gonna do it and have fun. I'll take it out of the christmas budget
Roller skating sounds soo much fun, you must tell me where you go. Have a great time.

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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#64 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 09:37 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
All you mama's remember this:


You are NOT your surroundings.

You are NOT your clothes.

You are NOT your home.

You are NOT your current situation.

You are NOT your bank account.

And you are NOT the sum of what one single person (stranger, friend, or family) thinks or says of you.



YOU are what YOU make of yourself and ONLY YOU can give that power away to others.


You are worthy. Don't "allow" others to "take" that from you!




Thanks Thistle!
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#65 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 09:44 PM
 
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Satori!

I'm wondering... What do you do to manifest things? I know there are tons of ways... Some use rituals, some intent, some energy, etc etc..... What do you do?
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#66 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 09:55 PM
 
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Just what I needed. Really having a hard time right now. We are military and dh has a shitty second job and we are just broke. I made 45 dollars last for two weeks of groceries last week and was almost proud of that. I am making all of this babes diaps and up all night trying to learn to make soakers. Making all our few gifts this year. Look forward to getting support and advice.

Living DAIRY AND GLUTEN FREE for my SPD and Aspergers Little Man.
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#67 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 09:57 PM
 
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I fit in on multiple levels here - debt, single mama & not working, etc.

We had a yard sale yesterday and today - I'm wiped out, but we made $535! It's going straight to my student loans though - just as soon as I figure out how to pay on them while I'm still in school. I still have a big stack of things to craigslist, half.com, and secondspin - I hope they all sell!

We're tightening up the budget again, and I'm hoping it works this time. Right now we don't even have enough to make the consolidated payments on my student loans - so I need to get this worked out before I graduate.

I'm still waiting on the amazon gift cert we are supposed to be getting from being adopted over on singlerose's angels program - I hope it gets here soon so that I can get DD's christmas stuff here in time. Her new potty is here already, so at least there will be one thing under the tree for her.

I'm debating something and I'd like your opinions on it. I qualify for the food banks, etc. We get food stamps {full amount, $298} but what I need help with is diapers, wipes, paper goods etc. Up until now, I've been sharing my food stamps with my parents, and they were purchasing the paper goods. I've been debating trying some of the food pantries to see what we can get that might help with with the paper goods costs, which are really getting us. DD is on a special formula, and I've not got the time nor patience to put her back in cloth, plus I start back to school in january oncampus again. So - what would you do??? Is this a reasonable reason to ask for help??? I just feel so bad because I'm a huge coupon shopper {If I wasn't we'd definately need the help with food} and my pantries are full of food - just not the expensive paper goods.

oh and to the mama who is getting the box of baby boy clothes {can't remember your name} - it's shipping monday! I didin't make it this week with getting ready for the yard sale and all - sorry mama.
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#68 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:06 PM - Thread Starter
 
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Originally Posted by sandygirl View Post
I fit in on multiple levels here - debt, single mama & not working, etc.

We had a yard sale yesterday and today - I'm wiped out, but we made $535! It's going straight to my student loans though - just as soon as I figure out how to pay on them while I'm still in school. I still have a big stack of things to craigslist, half.com, and secondspin - I hope they all sell!

We're tightening up the budget again, and I'm hoping it works this time. Right now we don't even have enough to make the consolidated payments on my student loans - so I need to get this worked out before I graduate.

I'm still waiting on the amazon gift cert we are supposed to be getting from being adopted over on singlerose's angels program - I hope it gets here soon so that I can get DD's christmas stuff here in time. Her new potty is here already, so at least there will be one thing under the tree for her.

I'm debating something and I'd like your opinions on it. I qualify for the food banks, etc. We get food stamps {full amount, $298} but what I need help with is diapers, wipes, paper goods etc. Up until now, I've been sharing my food stamps with my parents, and they were purchasing the paper goods. I've been debating trying some of the food pantries to see what we can get that might help with with the paper goods costs, which are really getting us. DD is on a special formula, and I've not got the time nor patience to put her back in cloth, plus I start back to school in january oncampus again. So - what would you do??? Is this a reasonable reason to ask for help??? I just feel so bad because I'm a huge coupon shopper {If I wasn't we'd definately need the help with food} and my pantries are full of food - just not the expensive paper goods.

oh and to the mama who is getting the box of baby boy clothes {can't remember your name} - it's shipping monday! I didin't make it this week with getting ready for the yard sale and all - sorry mama.


Take your money and have an emergency fund. I know everyone is for paying down debt... but you can still "push it off" for a bit and you need stuff now!

The pantries are there for a need and if you need help call around and ask who has diaper programs. My friend here went to a church one and they gave her a monthly supply of sposies and let her go through the clothing bank.


{{{{{hugs}}}}}}

Resistance is futile Matey
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#69 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:07 PM - Thread Starter
 
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So MDC is going to start charging to sell things on the Trading Post? :

Resistance is futile Matey
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#70 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:13 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
So MDC is going to start charging to sell things on the Trading Post? :
I just saw that. It was never something I was very good at doing to make money.. but I know a lot of mamas did it. :

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#71 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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It's been rough lately, to put it mildly.

We are fortunate that DH has a job and we have health insurance, although that is what is currently financially killing us. I pray to God above that will resolve soon.

We have enough to make ends meet and a little left over for savings, but for weeks like this week, there's no money for groceries till Saturday. I am hopeful that DH sells a lot of policies and his father actually pays him commissions.

Both kids have colds that they are slowly getting over. I am so thankful I am mature enough and know enough now as a mama not to have dragged them to the dr for a $25 copay I didn't have.

We don't have any debt and for that I am truly grateful. We're on time for all of our bills. We're better off than some, but we're still struggling nonetheless.

Liz

Wife, and mother to a small fairy, a demolition expert, a special new someone this fall and a small dachshund.
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#72 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:25 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
Take your money and have an emergency fund. I know everyone is for paying down debt... but you can still "push it off" for a bit and you need stuff now!

The pantries are there for a need and if you need help call around and ask who has diaper programs. My friend here went to a church one and they gave her a monthly supply of sposies and let her go through the clothing bank.


{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
We have $6000 in a communal EF with my parents. Thats only about 3 months expenses though - barely. Thats as much as we can hold resource-wise and still get help though, so we are stuck with it.

If I could find some type of help with diapers, it'd be great. DD goes thru 2-3 packs a week {nurses & drinks a ton of formula but eats very little solids due to her allergies) and of course she can only tolerate certain ones {pampers crusiers, or huggies overnites} which are the most expensive. So we're spending at least $15-20 {normally more like $30} a week on diapers, which is a pretty good chunk of funds for us {$100 a month out of a $450 budget for groceries, paper goods, etc.}

I'll try calling a few places on monday and see if anywhere has help with diapers. We just need the funds freed up for making my student loan payments too badely to do otherwise.

It's hard for me to ask for help though - I've never had to do it before {and I used to vollunteer a lot with charities thru my college so I worry about it getting back to my college & professors}
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#73 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:27 PM
 
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Originally Posted by Nature View Post
I just saw that. It was never something I was very good at doing to make money.. but I know a lot of mamas did it. :
That sucks - I don't have access to the TP, but I know a lot of people sell on there!
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#74 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 10:52 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
All you mama's remember this:


You are NOT your surroundings.

You are NOT your clothes.

You are NOT your home.

You are NOT your current situation.

You are NOT your bank account.

And you are NOT the sum of what one single person (stranger, friend, or family) thinks or says of you.



YOU are what YOU make of yourself and ONLY YOU can give that power away to others.


You are worthy. Don't "allow" others to "take" that from you!




Thank you for posting that.

 Mama to my tribe
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#75 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 11:37 PM
 
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Someone smack me... I think I'm starting to want another baby.

I love being pregnant, and I have GREAT insurance. But babies are expensive, and to be honest, I don't know if I could handle another baby. Plus I love my little one SO much I can't imagine having another baby. ~sighs~ this is hard.
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#76 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 11:40 PM
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As far as bipolar goes ~~ what it seems like, from what you described, is that you were already under an enormous amount of stress, and ~ people crack under stress.
But I would hesitate to call it bipolar and treat it as a disability because if you label yourself you run the risk of forcing yourself to become the label. You are much more than a label, or a collection of medications. You are YOU: a whole woman who is in desperate need of more social support and a not-crappy life right now.
I couldn't agree more. I was diagnosed bipolar many years ago and I don't consider it a disabilty. It's just part of who I am--nothing more and nothing less. I've had periods where I couldn't leave the house, couldn't work, etc. but I got through them and so will you. Getting out of the house and finding enjoyable work is actually more beneficial for people like us because staying home makes you think more about it and then you get worse. If it helps, I'm *supposed* to be taking a combo of Wellbutrin and Depakote but I haven't been taking the Depakote because it was making me fat and tired. I've taken Seroquel in the past with fairly good results. My MIL is bipolar and takes a combo of Wellbutrin, Depakote, and Geodon. You just have to keep working with your doctor to find the right med(s) and try to keep your spirits up (but not too high up ).

Once I accepted my diagnosis and learned to manage it, my life got a whole lot easier.
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#77 of 1547 Old 12-01-2007, 11:57 PM
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I quit my craptastic second job last night I was waiting tables on Friday nights for a few hours, but last night was the last straw. It took 45 minutes for the cooks to get a medium rare steak out so of course the table took it out on me. I only ended up making $14 all night so I said screw it and left a note in the office for them not to schedule me anymore. My time is worth more than that. I turned down overtime at my regular job for that Oh well, I worked 12 hours today and probably will again tomorrow so that will definitely help.

DH's hours have been cut at work. Figures. He's starting school in January and may have to take out extra for living expenses, so that will be more to pay back. Yay. He also informed me that he wants another baby. We just had a baby 10 freaking months ago! We have 3 living children and now he wants another. I don't see how I'd manage to do my job (nursing assistant) with the God awful morning sickness I get. I'd probably have to wear a gas mask to block out the smells so I could clean people up I'll be calling the doctor on Monday to see about making payments on the copper IUD I've been wanting. Medicaid won't cover it, but they'll cover hormonal BC which I can't take. I've tried, even the Mirena, and it all ended badly.
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#78 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:07 AM
 
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Amy, barring medical conditions, babies are only as expensive as you make them. If you're AP, you can get by with a helluva lot less than most. We do and we're glad. We spend less money, have more space, and get to hold DS more.
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#79 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:09 AM
 
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Welcome to all the new moms

I'll reintroduce myself, I am a WOHM who works part time for an organic grocery store. My dh and I have a 3 year old little boy and a cat named sambuca. I have a BA in communications radio/tv and my dh has a degree in Molecular Biology and MA in Theology, and he currently works as a foreman for high end home restoration company.

Due to the degrees we have a ton of student loan debt. We also have cc debt some of which came from when our son was born and I was a SAHM for 6 months.

I have ADD as well and only in this last year have we had prescription benefits before we were paying out of pocket $85.00 a month. I cannot be without them and I hated having to choose between certain things and my medications.

What really sucks is my doctor is an 45 minute drive from my house and I have to go pick up the prescription and then take it to the pharamacy by my house since the doctors office can't call it in. I refuse to go to the pharmacy in the town where the doctor is because they pharamcist accused me of not really needing the medication I was on.
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#80 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:11 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
So MDC is going to start charging to sell things on the Trading Post? :
'Xcuse me? : I could say a lot of things here... But they'd get me banned. : But REALLY! If I had money, I'd be selling on ebay, not the blasted TP! DAMN!
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#81 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:16 AM
 
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Sandygirl (at least I think it was you--sorry...) don't even give a thought to your profs getting wind of your asking for help! It's none of their D** business! Go get the help you need with paper goods and dipes and whatever else you need.
People concern themselves WAAAY too much with what others think... And they're always the people who cant afford to, literally. Not just the ones who are "looking for a handout." : It just ticks me off to see people who are truly struggling not ask for help just to save face.
We all need to swallow our pride at some point. It will not kill any of you to ask for help.
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#82 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:19 AM
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Think positively mamas, maybe it will be like etsy and they will only charge like 20 cents to list or maybe free to list but a tiny percentage of sales ...

Hope everyone is doing well ... tomorrow is dh's birthday and of course, no money for presents --- I will bake a cake and an awesome meal and well.. luckily with partners you can pay in kind if you get my drift Good enough for Marilyn Monroe, good enough for me
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#83 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:24 AM
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Amy, barring medical conditions, babies are only as expensive as you make them. If you're AP, you can get by with a helluva lot less than most. We do and we're glad. We spend less money, have more space, and get to hold DS more.
Babies may be cheap, but they get much more expensive as they get older
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#84 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:25 AM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
All you mama's remember this:


You are NOT your surroundings.

You are NOT your clothes.

You are NOT your home.

You are NOT your current situation.

You are NOT your bank account.

And you are NOT the sum of what one single person (stranger, friend, or family) thinks or says of you.



YOU are what YOU make of yourself and ONLY YOU can give that power away to others.


You are worthy. Don't "allow" others to "take" that from you!




I just printed this off and put it on my fridge!

treehugger.gifjog.gifgreenthumb.gifknit.gifnamaste.gif

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#85 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:31 AM
 
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Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
So MDC is going to start charging to sell things on the Trading Post? :
Have you tried DiaperSwappers??? I just sold a bunch of stuff there today and there's no fees.

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#86 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:51 AM
 
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I just printed this off and put it on my fridge!
That is such a good idea! I wish I had a printer!

.... off to find my Sharpie!

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#87 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 12:53 AM
 
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ok. I'm hopping on board...

. My name is Kim and DH and I have a little E. He works full time and I work 20 hours a week on an opposite schedule.

It's not working. I could be making more plus insurance if I went to work at a local nf store (the one dh works) plus when dh needed to cut back hours for school, I'd be able to pick up the slack for insurance.

We're planning on having another dc.... sometime.... but the whole job situation and fmla is freaking me out. I took 4 months off with this little one - I don't know how I'd do it on 6 weeks.

Ok. starting to freak out again.

I hate this:

~ Kim

mama to E (01-2007) and wife to C

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#88 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 01:02 AM
 
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Amy, barring medical conditions, babies are only as expensive as you make them. If you're AP, you can get by with a helluva lot less than most. We do and we're glad. We spend less money, have more space, and get to hold DS more.
This is true, but then there is the cost of clothes, diapers, etc. Because of my thyroid condition I would likely need to supplement again (despite supplements, meds, pumping around the clock, and feeding on demand, I didn't produce more than 3oz per day when breastfeeding). Then there is time lost from work (I could get maternity leave for 6 weeks I believe but it's at a reduced rate, and 6 weeks isn't enough time... anything after that isn't paid), etc. I know, I know... I'm just making excuses :
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#89 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 01:07 AM
 
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Hello, again. Boy am I happy November is over!!!

Anyways, to reintroduce myself, I'm Cassie a single mama with 4 great kids(most of the time, anyway) I just had my minivan die on me recently, thank goodness kid's dad know's someone who can lend HIM a car so he's been letting me use his(I'm sure there's an ulterior motive in there somewhere, but I'm not one to look a gift a$$ in the mouth-or was that gift horse?) I still don't know what's wrong with it, but whatever it is, it's going to have to wait a little while because I don't have money to fix it and be "santa" KWIM?
Just wanted to pop in and say hi.

mama to dd1 17yo, ds1 16yo, ds2 13 yo, and dd2 6yo
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#90 of 1547 Old 12-02-2007, 02:03 AM
 
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Thankfuls:
Benefits aren't screwed up this month!
Mind-enhancing stuff (books, conversation etc)
Letters I'm writing to DS about his "firsts" and other things. These will be a gift someday and I'm enjoying writing them.
That I have a DS to write to!
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