March Low Income Mamas Support Thread - Page 9 - Mothering Forums

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Old 03-23-2008, 11:31 AM
 
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easter bunny was here to this morning - DD hasn't got up yet though

She got flashcards, 2 little packs of peeps, a cup, some stickers, 2 windup toys, and 2 washcloths {the kinds that are shaped, and when you put them in water for the 1st time they turn into full size cloths}.

I hope she likes it.
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Old 03-23-2008, 11:53 AM
 
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Those washcloths are fun.

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Old 03-23-2008, 01:19 PM
 
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Hope everyone is doing okay today!
Did the "Easter Bunny" come? Just sugar here for everyone (a chocolate bunny each, 1 Cadbury egg each, jelly beans, chocolate eggs & peeps-you know, the basics )
We dyed eggs, everyone did one, only had blue & red food coloring-SO there's 3 blue, 2 purple, and 1 red egg.
Trying to make pot roast for brunch w/mashed potatoes and LOTS of broccoli
(4yo LOVES broccoli)
ANYWAYS, HAPPY EASTER ALL, again

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Old 03-23-2008, 04:00 PM
 
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Originally Posted by sandygirl View Post
not as far as I know - but they are adjusted every year in October so perhaps?

I hope they are.
Oh God. October seems so far away....


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Originally Posted by Nature View Post
Hi mamas. I haven't been very good about checking here every day. The kids are doing well, but I've been lost in thought for a few weeks now. Dealing with getting my daughter services for her Asperger's is stressful for me. The waiting, the paperwork, etc. Meanwhile life still happens and its hard for me to shift gears to focus on other things. I get so stuck in the moment its not even funny.

We went on our 2$ easter egg hunt yesterday and boy was it freezing! I wasn't able to walk with the girls. Daddy had to do it because Odin was so cold that I had to go stand inside. They had fun, cold and all.

DHS finally added the baby to our Medicaid, food stamps and TANF. Because the hospital messed up and didn't give me the "proof of applying for a SSN" paper, it took DHS longer to add him on. Which means we totally missed getting extra money for Feb OR March. We could have used it to. Last time they back paid us for the month we missed, but I guess this time my horribly mean caseworker decided not to. She was angry that it took me a few extra days to report our address change. (sorry, I was yanno... BIRTHING!!)

So we're out $500 and another $100 in food stamps because she's mad. Whatever. We'll pay the electric some other month, and who the heck needs to eat. We're cool.

I'm glad spring is here and all.. but uh.. could the snow and cold leave too then? Its overstayed its welcome this year.

Kids screaming... gotta run!

's to everyone that is having a hard time right now
s I'm sorry you're going through that. Cool that the kids had fun though.


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It was here. But then they cut my fs off completely. grrr
Oh no!!

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good morning mamas!

nature.....i will look in the fs manual and see if what she did was even legal...sounds ridiculous. and you can appeal....not a big bad thing at all. odin should be covered from the time he was born, for goodness sakes.


the easter bunny showed his fluffy butt here.....edie got a new swim suit, beach towel, bag and flipflops and some dark chocolate squares...her favorite.

i'm having brunch with the granddaughter in a while.....i brought her a pretty easter dress. can't wait to see her in it

i need to finish baking my bread and getting ready for brunch, i'll say hi later.
Hi ediesmom have fun at the brunch! We had our Easter dinner @ my bf's parents house last night. They're such an awesome bunch of people.

His mom gave me 10 big plastic, scented Easter eggs pre-stuffed with semi-healthy stuff (like real fruit snacks without artificial dyes!) ... I hid those last night.... and a few days ago I had picked up a couple of small baskets at the drug store, with a couple of fluffy bunnies, and then some See's candy and two big fat chocolates made at the local Choclaterie... so I left out the baskets, with a note I had painted with symbols directing them to their Easter baskets and with the Easter bunny's "signature" (a white paw print!)... WELL this morning at 7 AM sharp my kids both woke up bright-eyed and very bushy tailed and my ds led my dd out to see if the Bunny had come... OMG they were so excited... they ran around for like an hour just bouncy and looking for eggs and talking and playing with each other and just overwhelmingly happy... all I could do was lay in bed and smile at how happy and thrilled they were. My bf held me and whispered that the Easter Bunny had done a great job. I seriously needed that spot of sunshine amid all the depressing crap that's been going on in our lives.


Everyone.

And

*~* HAPPY EASTER! *~*
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Old 03-23-2008, 06:18 PM
 
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Hey, the stores are closed today. I didn't realize that. Guess its box mac and cheese tonight instead of the ham the kids wanted. Whoops.

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Old 03-23-2008, 06:28 PM - Thread Starter
 
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aura, that sounds perfect

naeva was so pretty in her easter dress...she had it on for about 3 minutes before she pooped up to her neck......all but the dress and panties got pooed....so we just redid the whole thing. she can poop a ton for such a bitty thing

shelby had 2 other meals out planned, so we just did omelets, but it was nice.

i love that she just kind of lets me take care of the baby while i'm there. she likes to run around and do things she can't do holding the baby.... i was an uptight mama...nothing got done for months. she is so relaxed and calm

hope everyone was able to have a really good day....

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 03-23-2008, 06:58 PM
 
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bunny came here too. from ME the girls got 1 package of peeps each(wouldn't be easter without them!), bubbles for Lu, colored pencils and paper for chicken, headbands for both, toothbrushes for both, a truck for Lu, and littlest pet shop thing for Mady. Little Grace got ZIP from me. Dan gave her onesies and teethers(like she can use them) and little booties. Dan upstaged me on yet ANOTHER holiday by gettign them movies and toys and kites and bubbles and all this stuff. Feels like I'm some charity case when he blows $100 PER KID on an easter basket(not to mention a grand EACH for christmas) and I can't even make it out of the dollar store. I hate it. And he stayed the night to see them in the morning opening up their baskets and finding easter eggs and guess what happened that shouldn't. Don't yell at me, I'm angry enough at myself. Stupid stupid stupid stupid. And then he took all 3 girls to his grandmother's house and left me home all day long by myself AGAIN. I hate that. I think next time he wants to take them I'm just going to tell him to take me to court. I didn't want him to take the baby and he still did. She's a nursing infant for geez sakes! Ugh. Frustration and anger. I ranted. I'm done. Easter sucked. Looking forward to the 1st of the month because we are out of food stamps and healthy food and I need a fresh start. Can't pay my gas bill right now so we are : and eating chocolate and hanging out. Grace is recovering from being ripped away from mama by having a nursing marathon. I hate holidays.

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Old 03-23-2008, 07:06 PM
 
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*hugs* justmama!

nature - some stores are open. I know our local grocery was closed, but walmart was open as well as CVS & walgreens.
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Old 03-23-2008, 07:30 PM
 
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justmama, I can't believe he took the baby. : Mama I would be refusing that. Seriously.

Ya all our stores are closed. My 2 year old is running around naked because I only have one more diaper for her and I have to save it for bed. Geesh. Stupid holiday.

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Old 03-23-2008, 08:03 PM
 
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justmama, I can't believe he took the baby. : Mama I would be refusing that. Seriously.

Ya all our stores are closed. My 2 year old is running around naked because I only have one more diaper for her and I have to save it for bed. Geesh. Stupid holiday.
potty learning time????? I'm sorry mama. I know she's got some spd issues right? Is that why the sposies or just because you dont' like cloth???? If it's not the sensory issues maybe a dishtowel pinned on would help??? It would decrease puddles at least. So stressful I'm sure.

Yeah I tried refusing. I didn't have much option. Next time I'm telling him to take me to court and I'll call the cops if he comes onto my property because he's not welcome. It really stressed me out and she's completely zonked out now because I think she was so traumatized by it. Makes me feel so sad.

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Old 03-23-2008, 08:14 PM
 
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justmama, I can't believe he took the baby. : Mama I would be refusing that. Seriously.

Ya all our stores are closed. My 2 year old is running around naked because I only have one more diaper for her and I have to save it for bed. Geesh. Stupid holiday.

Yeah all the stores around here are closed, Ray's might have been open for a few hours since they are generally open on holidays but normally only until noon.

Rite Aid was supposed to be open though as far as diapers go. Watching a movie with ds, just got back from dinner, had some tasty fried clams and a scenic drive by the ocean, pleasant day. Tomorrow is dh's 40th so trying to plan a special day for him. Alll in all no complaints today.

So sorry Justmama (((Hugs)))

Shay

Mothering since 1992...its one of the many hats I wear.
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Old 03-23-2008, 08:18 PM
 
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Remind the "Easter bunny" NOOOT to buy so much chocolate at one time, when it's not warm enough to order everyone outside!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Oh well, only 3 hrs till bed (unless they crash from the sugar first)
This is Another thing NOT to tell the XBF (it would just be ammo for the next time we have a fight)

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Old 03-23-2008, 08:40 PM
 
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Oh mamas, esp. Justmama..... Justmama there has GOT to be a way to, legally, prevent that from happening again.

I'm so sorry you all are having a rough time.



Thankfully it IS warm enough here ~ so I ordered my kids outside so I could clean the house. My dd still isn't feeling well (bc of course I gave her chocolate and stuff too and now, she's tired and feeling achy and stomach-achy ) ... so I set up the giant rainbow umbrella and her favourite quilty blankie and let her read outside while her brother skated / scootered around.

I mopped our entire floor (hall, front hall area thing, kitchen, dining room, and bathroom) and am finishing picking all the Easter grass out of the carpet so I can vaccuum.

Oh I'm also doing all the laundry ~ 4 loads ~ almost done.
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Old 03-23-2008, 11:14 PM
 
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no easter bunny visit here- kids got up at 5 in the morning which was too freaking early for me(i didnt go to bed til midnight because of another late night fight with dh via phone...) would have been online sooner then now but dh decided to change my user log in so i was "grounded" from the computer. seriously i really am having a hard time finding "love" for him... we been together for almost 5 years and every year it keeps getting worse and worse. wic appointment on tuesday my dad is taking me and the kids. i am gonna try to see if my sister will baby sit later in the day and have my dad once again try to teach me how to drive. i need to get over my freaking phobia and get my license. drivers ed is out of the question cuz the "smallest" package is 500 + dollars.. and its 10 hours behind the wheel driving.... really sucks... anyways i am trying to wean alex from co sleeping and the boob because i cant take it anymore. ashlyn has gone in the potty twice today which is great. one accident thus far. umm yea two weeks til i get my teeth worked on- oh happy day! really the migraines from the jar pressure and probably cavities are doing wonders for me... anyways happy easter to u all hugs.
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Old 03-24-2008, 12:38 AM
 
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Late check-in here...we had a good Easter, although it involved me ironing three men's/boy's dress shirts and a mad hunt for collar stays and the little guy demanding to be shown how to tie his own tie when no one has time to teach him.

But we made it to church, then to Easter dinner with friends. They barbequed and all the guests brought side dishes...I made pound cake in my muffin tin (DS2 called them "personal poundcakes") and brought berries and whipped cream to top them. It was a fairly extravagant dessert, costwise, but still much cheaper than cooking Easter dinner on my own, and we had a great time. Everyone brought eggs, as well, and the "Easter Bunny" came during lunch when we sent the teenagers out to hide them.

DS and I have been having a HELL of a time...the strain of DS2's medical problems and our resulting financial situation has made all the other little problems in our relationship worse, and they're all sort of working their way to the surface. We talked today and it was HARD, we said things that were So Painful to get out there, but I think it helped. We reconnected, at least.

I don't think money issues are necessarily causing the problems...but the money issue is causing other problems that we used to be able to ignore to just grow and rise up in our faces. And of course, when you most need marriage counseling, is when you have the least amount of time/money for it. But we're trying to stay connected...a little bit every day.

Being broke is so hard because it's like that harsh flourescent light that exposes all your skin damage and makes you look so ugly. That's what it's doing to our marriage.

So...I'm 43 and pregnant with #3 - how'd that happen?  

 

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Old 03-24-2008, 12:48 AM
 
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{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} }}}



Holly did you mean you and DH are having problems or you and DS?

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:10 AM
 
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(((Thystle))) thanks for the hug! Hugs help.

My husband and I are having some problems...I don't think our marriage is doomed, but we need to work on our relationship. The stress of our son's medical problems and the expense of dealing with it has really put us on the edge.

DS2 has recently been diagnosed with pediatric bipolar disorder. He's only 11, but he'd harmed himself several times in the past and wound up trying to hang himself a couple of months ago. Part of the problem was that he was being medicated for other things (ADHD, Tourette's, OCD...possibly misdiagnosed for these conditions), and two of the medicines he was taking actually make mood disorders worse...which is what led to the mood disorder being discovered. It might not have been diagnosed until he was much older if the medications hadn't exacerbated it.

Anyway, after a very expensive inpatient treatment, we now see an out-of-network child psychiatrist once a week. It's $175 a visit, Every Week, and although Blue Cross will reimburse us at the in-network rate (none of the in-network doctors are willing/qualified to treat a suicidal 11 year old), we haven't started getting the reimbursement checks yet. It could take up to 180 days, I just found out. Oh, plus $125 a month in for his prescriptions...that's just our co-pay. So we're spending $825 a month on medical stuff, plus a lot of time off work to get him to his appointments.

My husband is applying for a 2nd job and I'm desperately trying to get a summer school position...that would pay for 3 months worth of medical stuff right there. But we can never leave him alone, so I'm trying to cobble together some summer arrangements for him. Between DH and I, his brother, his bio-dad, and friends, we should be able to get it covered.

It's just got me so exhausted...I'm tired in my bones. My 2 closest friends have been sooooo supportive, but it's not something I feel comfortable talking about with most people, so I've been feeling very alone.

So...I'm 43 and pregnant with #3 - how'd that happen?  

 

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Old 03-24-2008, 01:14 AM
 
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knockedupbuttercup - any way he'd qualify for medicaid? maybe with a katie beckett waiver? Just a thought to help out.
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:22 AM
 
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DD has run me ragged today - she is into something constantly.

But the good news is that we hopefully found another freezer on craigslist. It's only $80, but is about 20 miles from here. It's a giant 25 cubic foot one though, which is exactly what we have been looking for. We go pick it up tomorrow. Now we can go ahead and buy the cheap turkeys at the grocery that we eat all year long!

*hugs* to everyone
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Old 03-24-2008, 02:21 AM
 
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I am so glad that everyone had a nice easter. Ours was spent at the inlaws eating ham. I am surprised that the stores were closed today. I work at Whole Foods and I know that they closed early (6pm). Thankfully I'd requested this day off a while ago.

Thank goodness for my discount, at least I was able to get our son a few things for his basket. I have to say that at least working there has also saved us a ton in groceries. Where I was spending $50-60 a week, now its only $25-40 depending on what we need.

But heres what I hate, I feel the job is getting montonous. I've looked at getting a job in Philadelphia but then I'd have to pay a city wage tax, transportation and so on. I'm starting to stress out because the longer I stay out of the field I was working in the harder it is to get a job.
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Old 03-24-2008, 09:40 AM - Thread Starter
 
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good morning mamas!

busy night here

justmama... tell him she is too stressed when she gets back. and that two hour visits are now the limit. unless he has a court order he;s SOL. and i know ubout the other parent upstaging:...but its US that seem to get it just right...not them. its quality, not quantity

sonrisaa....i hate it when jobs get too routine....is there any way they can change your 'duties' at work? a discount on food would be hard to give up..maybe there is something with in the store you LIKE to do?

knockedupbuttercup...i second the trying for medicaid...or medicare? sorry you and your family are going through this.


asianyoushi...yay for the wic appt...i remember how helpful those wic checks were

aura, nature, sandygirl, thystle, cwat, and shay....

edie isn't feeling well again today. why is it she never feels well on the monday after she spends the weekend with her father?....could it be substandard care? bad parenting? i wonder? either way, she's going to school...and staying there. i really get the feeling its time to cut down the visits...or at least the length of visits.

i have the week off from school.....but not from schoolwork. i have a project due that i have been slacking on. perfect time to wrap it up.

and shelby is moving this coming weekend, so i will have the lo some. she won't take a bottle, so i'll have to stick close..but i can't think of anything i'd rather do than snuggle the bug

and i think i'm going to adopt another dog. am i crazy? tis little guy has been up for adoption for way too long and he's sweet. his name is wallace and he's a chinese crested hairless. very good...with a few issues. but nothing i'm not dealing with already with my two. and its almost summer, so we can do some outside stuff pretty consistantly. still a few days to think about it....at least i won't have to worry about grooming!

time to get edie ready for school...

proverbs 29:7 the righteous care about justice for the poor, but the wicked have no such concern.

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Old 03-24-2008, 10:21 AM
 
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Asianyoushi, your husband always sounds so much like mine. I can't find any love for mine anymore either. It's hard to stay in a crappy marriage, and it's hard to work up the courage to leave and face single parenthood. Hugs to you.

KnockedupButtercup, have you looked into SSI for your DS? I'm sure with a suicide attempt he would easily qualify. Then he would automatically get Medicaid. And it would free you guys up from having to work so much. Hugs to you, I can't imagine having a child try to take their own life. My husband has tried to kill himself several times, but only once since we met. I remember how stressful it was to get the call and pick him up from the psych ward. It's hard to deal with the mood swings too.

AK, your Easter sounded so magical! I'm glad you guys had a good time.

Justmama, don't worry if your Easter baskets cost less than his. Quite often with kids it's the simple things that mean the most. And he may have been compensating for having to leave the girls soon to go to Kuwait.

Nature, sorry your Easter sucked so bad. I would definately fight that crappy caseworker who won't backpay for your DS.

Ediesmom, hope you are not in so much pain today. Good luck with your schoolwork.

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Old 03-24-2008, 12:02 PM
 
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Asianyoushi, your husband always sounds so much like mine. I can't find any love for mine anymore either. It's hard to stay in a crappy marriage, and it's hard to work up the courage to leave and face single parenthood. Hugs to you.
well i wouldnt be a single parent. he would take the kids......
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:24 PM
 
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well i wouldnt be a single parent. he would take the kids......

Is there something we do not know about, or would he just want total control?


Unless it is something we do not know about... you have a say too. Can you talk to a free legal clinic or phoneline?


{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}










Holly.... definately look into Medicaid (even if it is a secondary policy), or any other special needs riders or insurance that your state may offer. There are more than most people know about (including the workers ). There should be something that can help pay! I too would also apply for SSDI. Kids tend to have a much easier and faster time getting approved.










I hope everyone gets a spot of happiness and joy this week... and a week with less pain! :






.

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 03-24-2008, 01:41 PM
 
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Is there something we do not know about, or would he just want total control?


Unless it is something we do not know about... you have a say too. Can you talk to a free legal clinic or phoneline?

.
he has been telling HIS ENTIRE family i am not mentally stable, that i am a gold digger, that i spend all HIS money on myself. and when his family asked how i spend the money since i dont drive and leave the home. he says i shop online and buy tons of stuff..( i have not made a single purchase on line or in real life in 6 months that was not food or disposable dipes/wipes for the kids....) i really dont know where he was coming up with these lies. he is the one spending half his check on pants and "duty gear" but he never says that to his family when he asks to borrow money. says its my fault that ashlyns not completely potty trainned and that alex is still breastfed and co sleeping. and says im neglect the kids. then calls me lazy and he then plays up "HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG ITS ALL ME..."
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Old 03-24-2008, 02:32 PM
 
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Originally Posted by asianyoushi View Post
he has been telling HIS ENTIRE family i am not mentally stable, that i am a gold digger, that i spend all HIS money on myself. and when his family asked how i spend the money since i dont drive and leave the home. he says i shop online and buy tons of stuff..( i have not made a single purchase on line or in real life in 6 months that was not food or disposable dipes/wipes for the kids....) i really dont know where he was coming up with these lies. he is the one spending half his check on pants and "duty gear" but he never says that to his family when he asks to borrow money. says its my fault that ashlyns not completely potty trainned and that alex is still breastfed and co sleeping. and says im neglect the kids. then calls me lazy and he then plays up "HE HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG ITS ALL ME..."
Ummmm, Sara is 3 months older than Ashlynn and she's not potty trained either. And if you WANT Alex to nurse and co-sleep, why can't he? Mady co-slept until 3 1/2 and Sara nursed until 22months and co-slept until about 4 months ago(and she turned 3 in Jan) and still comes in my bed most nights. I dont' see the problem. Here's the thing love, I honestly think you need to do something. I have been thinking this for a while and didn't want to p*ss you off. But come on. This guy verbally abuses you and you let him. I know what it's like. I have been every kind of abused in my life and I know it's hard to get out of that. Dang near impossible to get out when you have kids. But somethings gotta give, ya know? You really cannot be living like this much longer without losing your sanity. You say you don't really love him, you say you are unhappy, so what's stopping you? You are broke now so it can't be money. It's not love. What is it? I'm single. I KNOW how hard it is to leave. I was a sahm before this happened. For 3 years. But I"m making it. Do NOT let him tell you that you can't keep the kids. Worst case scenario he makes life difficult for you and you have to prove to cps that you are a great mom. But honestly, not potty trained at 3 or slightly under, and still nursing over a year, and still co-sleeping under 3 are NOT reasons a judge will award custody to him. Fight for your kids.

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Old 03-24-2008, 03:00 PM
 
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It may be time to call a battered womens hotline or womens shelter and talk to someone.

He does not have to hit you to be able to call them or ask for help. Abuse comes in many shapes.




Get copies of bank statements or credit card bills if you can. Even if does not "want" you to see them normally. Take the most recent ones and get xerox copies of them at a store. Hide them somewhere "safe". That way you can show you are not "spending" it all.



{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} this is not good for you or the kids!



Maybe try to see if you can start seeing a therapist or counselor... try to establish you are not "crazy" and that you are concerned about everything.

Resistance is futile Matey
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Old 03-24-2008, 03:27 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thystle View Post
It may be time to call a battered womens hotline or womens shelter and talk to someone.

He does not have to hit you to be able to call them or ask for help. Abuse comes in many shapes.




Get copies of bank statements or credit card bills if you can. Even if does not "want" you to see them normally. Take the most recent ones and get xerox copies of them at a store. Hide them somewhere "safe". That way you can show you are not "spending" it all.



{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}} this is not good for you or the kids!



Maybe try to see if you can start seeing a therapist or counselor... try to establish you are not "crazy" and that you are concerned about everything.
if your name is on any acct, you can request a copy of statements. I did this and stored it away in the months prior to my ex leaving me for the first time. Also, phone records can be accessed. got those too. your name just has to be on the acct. keep yourself safe.

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Old 03-24-2008, 05:45 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by justmama View Post
if your name is on any acct, you can request a copy of statements. I did this and stored it away in the months prior to my ex leaving me for the first time. Also, phone records can be accessed. got those too. your name just has to be on the acct. keep yourself safe.
If you live in a community state your name does not have to be on the account and they have to give you a copy of the bill.

Heidi
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Old 03-24-2008, 06:36 PM
 
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well - it's looking like we're going to be having my thyroid partially/totally taken out for the graves disease. I'm trying to gather info on it, and not looking forward to surgery but the meds I'm on aren't working well, and they were a last option. I can't do the radioactive iodine due to allergy & because you can't be around kids for 2-3 weeks, and DD and I still co-sleep - she would totally meltdown without her mama cuddles in the morning. I thought I remembered someone in our group here having the same procedure done, but can't for the life of me remember who it was.

My back is out - d*#^ guy who owes us money didn't show up yet to help with the new freezer, and so we have to go pick it up tonight. I have no idea how the heck we're going to load it as right now I can't even lift 23lb DD, and this is a 25cuft freezer.

My day is just not going well at all.

*hugs* to everyone else - just don't have enough strength to write out replies.
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