Anyone's husband just not "get it" Re:money? - Mothering Forums

Thread Tools
#1 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
T&D2005's Avatar
Join Date: May 2007
Posts: 375
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My husband is driving me crazy and I'm about to drop him off on the curb somewhere far far away.
The economy is tough and food prices have gone up, we do NOT have room in our budget to really add much more for food. We eat plenty- oh wait, let me rephrase.. My son and I eat plenty but my husband is too anal, whiny and picky so he complains all day how he's starving. I make ONE meat dish a night on most nights but there is no leftovers of meat since it's pricey. The following day, he complains there is no "main" dish so he can't eat the broccoli rice I made (I guess it's too difficult to make a tuna sandwich or pb&j sandwich to accompany the rice) When I bring up this idea, he whines and says it's not already made and he doesn't feel like making it. Then if I offer to make it, he will say it won't fill him up so he doesn't want it. So what happens... he complains some more, get's dizzy then goes out to subway for a quick fix.
About 3 nights ago, I made a big batch of pea soup. He used to always eat pea soup with a piece of toast but all of a sudden that doesn't fill him up either so I'm going to have to freeze the rest so it doesn't spoil. I make big casseroles with shredded chicken in it (with other things) and he leaves it in the fridge to rot. My son and I eat it for lunch and snacks.
I mean, we never ate like kings before so I don't get it now. He expects a ready made sirloin with all the trimmings and a ton of sides for breakfast, lunch and dinner and it's not going to happen.
I told him to buy the food then and his response is that he doesn't know what I need to make food. Ahhhhhhhhh. I have shown our budget to him on paper but apparently he expects me to work with it and make it work for him..
T&D2005 is offline  
Sponsored Links
#2 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 04:22 PM
bc1995's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Northeast Louisiana
Posts: 2,468
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh is like this a lot of times, too. Right now it feels as if his life is revolving around food. He expects to be able to buy lunch out every day. Not going to happen. We don't have the money! He feels like he is entitled to it because he works so hard. Get over it, buddy!

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
bc1995 is offline  
#3 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 05:18 PM
MaddieMay's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,823
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Is it possible for him to accompany you to the grocery store so he can see for himself what food costs?

A supportive military wife and mama to my busy boy and sweet girl.
MaddieMay is offline  
#4 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 09:03 PM
superstella's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Somewhere untangling my mind
Posts: 4,153
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh too. If I give him "only" 3 sandwiches for lunch he asks me if I have him on a diet. : 1lb of meat for a beef stew, only for him, for dinner, one night, was not enough (along with 1lb of carrots, potatoes, etc.). He "needs" 2lbs of meat. I feel your pain, he is very picky too.
superstella is offline  
#5 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 11:21 PM
BetsyS's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: world of craziness
Posts: 5,307
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My dh goes through jags of being like this, too. I feel your pain.

One thing that worked for us was figuring out what would make him happy. No more complaining. Just tell me what he DID want in the house. Turns out, if there is salsa and chips, plus canned soup for "emergencies", then he's a pretty happy guy. If I throw in a homemade treat (muffins, cookies, brownies, whatever) once a week or two, then he's thrilled.

These aren't hard things for me to do (they take less effort than listening to the complaining), but they make him feel like I am *getting* him and trying to make him happy.

Maybe ask him what he would like in the house?
BetsyS is offline  
#6 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 10:09 AM
Maddy123's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 135
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
Even with logic (and your budget) on your side, this is a hard battle to "win." If he is feeling deprived, I would try to work with him. Maybe get a little more meat just for him to have on the "side," etc. My DH is more of a "meat and potatoes" guy, and sometimes having casseroles, etc. (even tho' it can be healthier and more budget friendly) is a problem for him. Everyone likes to have food they enjoy, so this is something I would try to find a creative way to make him happier. Trips to Subway will be more expensive than altering the meals a little. Good luck.
Maddy123 is offline  
#7 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 10:50 AM
Sara Badger's Avatar
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 247
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
for mine it was having spam in the house!! ICK but hey he no longer complains about not getting some special just for him!! Like the PP said ask him what it is he need and wants and see what you can do!!
Sara Badger is offline  
#8 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 12:41 PM
AlpineMama's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,780
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
My DH is like that too. I'm buying a pig or cow solely for him. DS doesn't like meat (he likes everything else) and I'm OK with going vegetarian. DH needs meat, cheese, bacon, and salt at every meal to make him happy. I think I'll be a widow soon at the rate he's going. Heart attack, anyone?
AlpineMama is offline  
#9 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 01:02 PM
phathui5's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Oregon
Posts: 17,021
Mentioned: 2 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 1 Post(s)
Have you asked him to give you ideas for what to buy? Meal suggestions?

What is your food budget? How many people?

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
14yo ds   11yo dd  9yo ds and 7yo ds and 2yo ds  
phathui5 is offline  
#10 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 02:41 PM
miss_sonja's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2003
Posts: 1,855
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
HAve you considered having him fend for himself? Just say, since you are not enjoying what I make, what if you do your own cooking?

This is so frustrating. Why do they not get it? I really really hate it when grown ups act like whiny creatures (I wont' say children, since kids are often more understanding).

Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

miss_sonja is offline  
#11 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 02:47 PM
Purplehaze's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 522
Mentioned: 0 Post(s)
Tagged: 0 Thread(s)
Quoted: 0 Post(s)
So what I do is I make a lot of meat stretching main meals for dinner - like the other night, used 1 lb sausage and made sausage meat sauce for over (wheat free) pasta. I take out a portion of dinner before I even serve it and put it in tupper ware for Dh for lunch the next day. So there is not a lot of meat in most stuff but enough that he thinks of it as "meaty" and by prepacking it, he can't complain too much, all he does is add salad, fruit and a yogurt. It helps... And it sure beats him buying lunch at work.

Mine is the worst when I try to make things like pork chops or steak or something, then he will think nothing of eating 3 or 4 of them... complaining that it is so rare for us to get them. So I tend to stay away from that kind of thing and instead do stuff I can stretch- casseroles, stir fry, soup. I also use TVP and stretch anything that uses ground meat, with that- tacos or chili...
Purplehaze is offline  

User Tag List

Thread Tools
Show Printable Version Show Printable Version
Email this Page Email this Page

Posting Rules  
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off