Anyone's husband just not "get it" Re:money? - Mothering Forums
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#1 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 03:44 PM - Thread Starter
 
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My husband is driving me crazy and I'm about to drop him off on the curb somewhere far far away.
The economy is tough and food prices have gone up, we do NOT have room in our budget to really add much more for food. We eat plenty- oh wait, let me rephrase.. My son and I eat plenty but my husband is too anal, whiny and picky so he complains all day how he's starving. I make ONE meat dish a night on most nights but there is no leftovers of meat since it's pricey. The following day, he complains there is no "main" dish so he can't eat the broccoli rice I made (I guess it's too difficult to make a tuna sandwich or pb&j sandwich to accompany the rice) When I bring up this idea, he whines and says it's not already made and he doesn't feel like making it. Then if I offer to make it, he will say it won't fill him up so he doesn't want it. So what happens... he complains some more, get's dizzy then goes out to subway for a quick fix.
About 3 nights ago, I made a big batch of pea soup. He used to always eat pea soup with a piece of toast but all of a sudden that doesn't fill him up either so I'm going to have to freeze the rest so it doesn't spoil. I make big casseroles with shredded chicken in it (with other things) and he leaves it in the fridge to rot. My son and I eat it for lunch and snacks.
I mean, we never ate like kings before so I don't get it now. He expects a ready made sirloin with all the trimmings and a ton of sides for breakfast, lunch and dinner and it's not going to happen.
I told him to buy the food then and his response is that he doesn't know what I need to make food. Ahhhhhhhhh. I have shown our budget to him on paper but apparently he expects me to work with it and make it work for him..
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#2 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 04:22 PM
 
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My dh is like this a lot of times, too. Right now it feels as if his life is revolving around food. He expects to be able to buy lunch out every day. Not going to happen. We don't have the money! He feels like he is entitled to it because he works so hard. Get over it, buddy!

Carrie, mom to Johnathan (7-02), Brodie (2-04), Kate (12-06), Jordan (9-08), (4-09) & Maggie (3-10)
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#3 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 05:18 PM
 
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Is it possible for him to accompany you to the grocery store so he can see for himself what food costs?

A supportive military wife and mama to my busy boy and sweet girl.
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#4 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 09:03 PM
 
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My dh too. If I give him "only" 3 sandwiches for lunch he asks me if I have him on a diet. : 1lb of meat for a beef stew, only for him, for dinner, one night, was not enough (along with 1lb of carrots, potatoes, etc.). He "needs" 2lbs of meat. I feel your pain, he is very picky too.
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#5 of 11 Old 05-04-2008, 11:21 PM
 
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My dh goes through jags of being like this, too. I feel your pain.

One thing that worked for us was figuring out what would make him happy. No more complaining. Just tell me what he DID want in the house. Turns out, if there is salsa and chips, plus canned soup for "emergencies", then he's a pretty happy guy. If I throw in a homemade treat (muffins, cookies, brownies, whatever) once a week or two, then he's thrilled.

These aren't hard things for me to do (they take less effort than listening to the complaining), but they make him feel like I am *getting* him and trying to make him happy.

Maybe ask him what he would like in the house?
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#6 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 10:09 AM
 
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Even with logic (and your budget) on your side, this is a hard battle to "win." If he is feeling deprived, I would try to work with him. Maybe get a little more meat just for him to have on the "side," etc. My DH is more of a "meat and potatoes" guy, and sometimes having casseroles, etc. (even tho' it can be healthier and more budget friendly) is a problem for him. Everyone likes to have food they enjoy, so this is something I would try to find a creative way to make him happier. Trips to Subway will be more expensive than altering the meals a little. Good luck.
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#7 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 10:50 AM
 
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for mine it was having spam in the house!! ICK but hey he no longer complains about not getting some special just for him!! Like the PP said ask him what it is he need and wants and see what you can do!!
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#8 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 12:41 PM
 
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My DH is like that too. I'm buying a pig or cow solely for him. DS doesn't like meat (he likes everything else) and I'm OK with going vegetarian. DH needs meat, cheese, bacon, and salt at every meal to make him happy. I think I'll be a widow soon at the rate he's going. Heart attack, anyone?
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#9 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 01:02 PM
 
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Have you asked him to give you ideas for what to buy? Meal suggestions?

What is your food budget? How many people?

Midwife (CPM, LDM) and homeschooling mama to:
13yo ds   10yo dd  8yo ds and 6yo ds and 1yo ds  
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#10 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 02:41 PM
 
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HAve you considered having him fend for himself? Just say, since you are not enjoying what I make, what if you do your own cooking?

This is so frustrating. Why do they not get it? I really really hate it when grown ups act like whiny creatures (I wont' say children, since kids are often more understanding).

Mom to DD1 (11/1999),  DD2 (07/2003), and DS (11/2012), all born at home and cloth diapered. 

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#11 of 11 Old 05-05-2008, 02:47 PM
 
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So what I do is I make a lot of meat stretching main meals for dinner - like the other night, used 1 lb sausage and made sausage meat sauce for over (wheat free) pasta. I take out a portion of dinner before I even serve it and put it in tupper ware for Dh for lunch the next day. So there is not a lot of meat in most stuff but enough that he thinks of it as "meaty" and by prepacking it, he can't complain too much, all he does is add salad, fruit and a yogurt. It helps... And it sure beats him buying lunch at work.

Mine is the worst when I try to make things like pork chops or steak or something, then he will think nothing of eating 3 or 4 of them... complaining that it is so rare for us to get them. So I tend to stay away from that kind of thing and instead do stuff I can stretch- casseroles, stir fry, soup. I also use TVP and stretch anything that uses ground meat, with that- tacos or chili...
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